Sept 2005 Vast Uncertainties

(another one I got in email)
Catw3kittens
Tue Sep-13-05 04:57 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1871 posts


#1442, "Vast Uncertainties"
Tue Sep-13-05 04:59 PM by Catw3kittens

I have been considering and reconsidering things since last week. I'm not sure how many saw the ugly flame war that followed my post about being attacked by the woman who misunderstood completely and thought that I had left my babies unattended and locked in a sealed vehicle. But it got very nasty, and culminated with a comment being made about how much more manageable things were for me since I was only managing "two toddlers, not three." I was basically reamed as an incompetent mother with no excuses because I don't have all three of my babies. It was one of the most awful experiences I have had in a long time.

After making the comment, the poster then ridiculed me as misquoting her and commented about my signature line, indicating that some of them were suffering in silence instead and basically accusing me of being melodramatic in retaining the signature line in memory of Carina. Of course, I got a lot of private mails from people who were not willing to get involved in the thread but were so sorry and appalled at what had been said to me.

Of course, the whole thing was capped off by another person bumping up a write-up of the "I'm Leaving TC" sequence -- in response to this thread. This got posted after I completely stopped responding, and I felt like it was intended as a dig or goad to try to get me to leave.

Frankly, I have been so very hurt by this that I got a bit snotty with some of the same people on Friday, and I've pretty much stopped commenting on anything unless it relates to one of my good friends.

Anyway, I find that my grief is really hitting me again because the people who needed to put me down based upon my only having two babies have finally said the thing that I have always felt so deeply in my heart. I don't belong here. I'm not one of them. I paid the price and I walked away without my complete set of triplets. I long not only for Carina, but for their triplet-ness.

Since the comment has been made, I see the posts asking about how one does this, that or the other thing with triplets, and I have some great ideas and experiences in dealing with my babies all by myself, but I haven't responded. It's like my costume has been ripped off and I'm standing here exposed as some sort of fraud for pretending that I'm really a triplet mom whereas I am "only managing two toddlers, not three."

I'm wondering why I've bothered hanging on to this, and why I still cringe when people refer to my children as "twins." I'm wondering why I am sitting here weeping. I even noticed that I posted and then retracted my post because my expression of pain was just too raw -- and, as soon as I posted on the Bereaved Parents site, a whole herd came over to read my withdrawn post. It's like I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. I never thought I could feel this way at TC.

I don't want to lose this connection. My friends at TC have been so good to me, including all of my friends with three babies. But do they really understand? I just don't know.

I am so terribly upset about all of this. Talking with Steff sort of helped, and sort of hit me square in the face with the truth -- there's a part of me that is suffering from "triplet envy." Yes, I'm going through FET and YES I want another set of triplets. And this time I want to leave with all of my babies coming home with me.

I am just so incredibly sad right now. What am I missing? Please tell me what I'm doing wrong. Or, even just give me some suggestions that will help me to feel better.

You guys mean the world to me and I know how terrible this must sound to my friends who lost not just one baby, but two or even three. I must sound incredibly selfish and thoughtless not to be joyful and grateful for the two babies I have. I am grateful for them and I love them to pieces. It's just that there is still this enormous, gaping hole.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

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Replies to this topic


RE: Vast Uncertainties, mylostboys, Sep 13th 2005, #1
RE: Vast Uncertainties, Catw3kittens, Sep 13th 2005, #2
RE: Vast Uncertainties, 7mozzas, Sep 13th 2005, #3
RE: Vast Uncertainties, Catw3kittens, Sep 13th 2005, #6
RE: Vast Uncertainties, fivenelli, Sep 13th 2005, #4
RE: Vast Uncertainties, Catw3kittens, Sep 13th 2005, #5
RE: Vast Uncertainties, steff, Sep 13th 2005, #8
RE: Vast Uncertainties, paham3, Sep 13th 2005, #7
RE: Vast Uncertainties, wamjet, Sep 13th 2005, #9



mylostboys
Tue Sep-13-05 05:26 PM
Member since Aug 29th 2005
22 posts


#1445, "RE: Vast Uncertainties"
In response to Reply # 0

Cat,
First let me say that I am sitting here sobbing. Not just for the ignorance of others, but for the fact that you may make the decision to no longer be here with us. I know I am not very close to you, but in the short time I've been here, you jumped in right after me and held my hand.
I have been through the anger of people calling Allen and Jesse (before he passed) twins, and now I have one. It's not wrong to want to shout it from the rooftops that our babies are infact triplets. The reason it took me so long to come here is that I thought I didn't belong because of our loss, but you as well as many others (here in this forum) welcomed me with open arms. What will happen when another mother or father gets the sand to come here, and you aren't here to share your wisdom, and support?
It is so awful at how your post was reacted to. I couldn't believe it really. Please don't let the ignorance of other people push you out of TC. You are not doing anything wrong Cat. You are missing your precious gift, and like you've told me, there is nothing wrong with that. It's alright to want the "triplet-ness." What is selfish is that another mother believes she is better that you because she has 3 and you have 2, and to go on that you can handle managing better that her because of that fact. That is selfish, not you Cat.
I don't know what to say to make you feel better, Cat. And maybe I am no better than others due to the small rant I let out here, but please don't leave TC.
You have been there for me, a perfect stranger, and others here. I hope I can be here for you now. I wish I could make you feel better with the blink of an eye.
One thing I can do is tell you that you are not selfish, and you don't come off ungreatful for your children. You are a wonderful person Cat, and a great friend.
Please let me know if I can do anything.


Faye
momma to bbb @ 23 wks
Jesse James ^i^
Wyatt James ^i^
Allen James 19 months and counting

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Catw3kittens
Tue Sep-13-05 05:39 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1871 posts


#1447, "RE: Vast Uncertainties"
In response to Reply # 1

Faye:

I haven't said the infamous "I'm leaving TC..." line. It's just that I feel so empty about this and so hurt. The truth is that that thread simply noted what I have felt all along -- like some kind of fraud for even being here. And the thing is that the only reason that I feel this way is because my baby died -- what a horrible reason for losing connection with an entire group of people that you have shared this incredible journey with.

I appreciate your concern for me, and your prayers. BTW, you have my e-mail address, and I think you even have my telephone number (for my office, that is, until I get my cell number transferred to a new phone)! And, if you don't, please let me know. I also consider us to be friends.

Love,
Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

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7mozzas
Tue Sep-13-05 06:31 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
628 posts


#1448, "RE: Vast Uncertainties"
In response to Reply # 0
Tue Sep-13-05 06:33 PM by 7mozzas

Cat,
I adore you to pieces!
I hope you don't let one rotten apple spoil it here for you.
You do belong here. Remember that saying, it goes:
"Once a triplet mom, always a triplet mom."
That's what you are, and always will be.

With regards to that horrible woman who threatened to call CPS on you, forget her! Seriously! There is one in every crowd. Again, some people have nothing better to do with their time. Plus, usually people like that have very unhappy lives.

I think we need to seriously get-together again and have some fun, as in blow off some steam!
Pizza on me, boy that was delic!

Huge hugs,
7mozz

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Catw3kittens
Tue Sep-13-05 07:38 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1871 posts


#1451, "RE: Vast Uncertainties"
In response to Reply # 3

I love you, J. Please don't ever forget it. You have been precious to me for as long as I've had my children. Bless you.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

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fivenelli
Tue Sep-13-05 06:34 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
95 posts


#1449, "RE: Vast Uncertainties"
In response to Reply # 0

I am so very sorry that you were so hurt by the exchange. But the thing that you seem to be missing is that you saw what you wanted (or didn't want) to see in the post about "two, not three". It touched a nerve in you because of what you have been through, not because of the original poster's intention. It does both of you a disservice to assume such malice.

That being said, I don't think that anyone here would deny that you are a triplet mom or say that you don't belong. There may be people who disagree with you on other subjects, but I sincerely doubt that anyone here wants you to leave because they think you don't belong. You've made it clear that sometimes you feel that way, but I don't believe that anyone here is so heartless toward others as to feel that way themselves.

I hope that you can find some peace on this matter as it relates to the TC board and I also hope that you can see that I am not trying to attack you.

I wish you peace.
Jeanne
Mommy to Frank, Grace & Sarah 1/18/02

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Catw3kittens
Tue Sep-13-05 07:01 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1871 posts


#1450, "RE: Vast Uncertainties"
In response to Reply # 4
Tue Sep-13-05 07:36 PM by Catw3kittens

I have sent an email to Jeff and asked that he pull this thread from the forum.

Please forgive me for putting this topic into the waters again.

Love,
Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

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steff
Tue Sep-13-05 11:48 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
331 posts


#1453, "RE: Vast Uncertainties"
In response to Reply # 4

I don't think "malice" is so much the issue as is a thoughtless, flippant remark. I am the first person to make really stupid comments that are made astronomically worse by the situation in which I happen to have made them. When this happens, however, I do apologize to those offended rather than condemn them for taking offense. The situation we're talking about certainly could have ended better.

A triplet mom sees what she wants in the "I'd shoot myself if it was me" because she's in a different frame than the person who made the comment. I don't believe those people truly want to shoot themselves. But just as we would prefer to educate and often come here to vent because we've taken offense, Cat understandably took offense at the comment and said so in an effort to educate the person who posted. When she spoke about the offense she took at one comment, she was slapped with the whole discussion about the signature line. I took deep, personal offense at that post and would have commented myself, but I couldn't come up with anything civil to say.
Steff
Mom to
Triplet Angels:
^West^, ^Keaton^, ^Rebecca^ b/d 1/6/04
Adopted Surviving Triplets:
Maria & Astrid 4/7/04
Missing their sister ^Maria Jose^ 4/7/04-5/7/04
And Singleton Sweetie:
Adam 2/20/05

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paham3
Tue Sep-13-05 09:09 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
165 posts


#1452, "RE: Vast Uncertainties"
In response to Reply # 0

Cat,

I did not see that string as I do not visit the forum as often as I used to. However, I have read many postings of yours in the past and you are a bright woman and clearly a loving mother. Please do not allow an unkind poster to make you stop visiting a forum that you have contributed so much support and insight to. Of course you belong here; you know that. You are a mother of triplets and your children are triplets. Think about what you would say if you read your own post. You have every right to be hurt. There are some really unsupportive, argumentitive members on this forum these days, which is part of the reason that I don't visit as often. This is the last place that you should be faced with that sort of heartache. We are family of families who have shared the uncommon blessing of being pregnant with triplets, and the fragility that comes along with that blessing. My heart goes out to you. Surround yourself with supportive folks and disregard the rest. People who take an oppurtunity to help and be supportive and turn it into an oppurtunity to hurt and judge have some real problems; ignore them Cat.

I am thinking of you...
Peggy
mom to
Tricia 19
Lyndsay 18
Sydney 12
Millie 10 and
Robert, Julian and Max 9/2/03 @ 36wks
http://lilypie.com>

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wamjet
Tue Sep-13-05 11:58 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
72 posts


#1454, "RE: Vast Uncertainties"
In response to Reply # 0


Oh, Cat, please don't go or think you don't belong. I don't belong here (in Bereaved Parents), but I have gained great wisdom in how to be there for family members and gleaned some great advice from you just today. Seriously, TC would not be the same without you. Thank you, thank you for your timely advice, sense of humor, and intelligence. Three lacking qualities in the world today!
And the weird thing is, it never occured to me that you "don't belong" here. You are a triplet mom. Carina is just waiting for us in Heaven - can't wait to meet her. Maybe she's playing with my niece, Madison. Her only day on earth was this coming Friday. I never carried her, never met her, but miss her all the same. Your grief must be unimaginable. Please stay.
With love and gratitude from a "stranger",
Julie

Jan 2006 Asking for Prayer

(May be a repeat. Got this sent to me in email and I didn't see it on the blog but may have missed it.)

Subject: "ASKING FOR PRAYERS" First topic | Next topic


Catw3kittens
Thu Jan-05-06 06:33 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2115 posts


#154373, "ASKING FOR PRAYERS"

Okay. This is definitely topically related.

I am asking for prayers. This is the month of my FET and I desperately want to be given another set of triplets. I know that this sounds bizarre to anyone who does not have triplets, but I felt that all of you would understand completely.

So, if you have room on your prayer lists, please add me and my FET to your's.

BTW, if you're in the IE or SoCal area and simply want to come and help corral kittens while I'm supposed to be flat-of-my-back following the FET, please give me a call!!!

Fondly,
Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://lilypie.com> [

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Replies to this topic


RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, PAML, Jan 03rd 2006, #1
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, my4beauties, Jan 03rd 2006, #2
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, erica m, Jan 03rd 2006, #3
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, bsebllmom9, Jan 03rd 2006, #4
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, fivenelli, Jan 03rd 2006, #7
Just curious, HOWMANY, Jan 03rd 2006, #8
RE: Just curious, tulip, Jan 03rd 2006, #9
RE: Just curious, J, Jan 03rd 2006, #14
RE: Just curious, Catw3kittens, Jan 04th 2006, #49
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., Catw3kittens, Jan 04th 2006, #52
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., tripplefun, Jan 04th 2006, #55
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., psalm127_3, Jan 04th 2006, #56
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., boomom, Jan 05th 2006, #83
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., psalm127_3, Jan 05th 2006, #90
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., boomom, Jan 05th 2006, #99
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., kunster, Jan 05th 2006, #71
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., boomom, Jan 05th 2006, #73
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., Catw3kittens, Jan 05th 2006, #86
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., psalm127_3, Jan 05th 2006, #82
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., Catw3kittens, Jan 05th 2006, #87
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., psalm127_3, Jan 05th 2006, #91
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., Catw3kittens, Jan 05th 2006, #85
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., kunster, Jan 05th 2006, #94
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., Catw3kittens, Jan 05th 2006, #96
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., kunster, Jan 05th 2006, #97
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., Catw3kittens, Jan 05th 2006, #98
RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..., fivenelli, Jan 05th 2006, #74
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, psalm127_3, Jan 03rd 2006, #15
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, J, Jan 03rd 2006, #16
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, psalm127_3, Jan 03rd 2006, #20
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, momoftreasures, Jan 04th 2006, #26
Whoa!, mylostboys, Jan 04th 2006, #27
RE: Whoa!, kschenker, Jan 04th 2006, #37
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, jac, Jan 04th 2006, #51
HMM... HOW RIGHT YOU ARE, tripplefun, Jan 04th 2006, #54
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, HOWMANY, Jan 03rd 2006, #6
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, GOVOLSGIRL, Jan 03rd 2006, #10
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, fivenelli, Jan 03rd 2006, #12
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, AngelP, Jan 03rd 2006, #11
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, hanerhah, Jan 03rd 2006, #13
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Laurene, Jan 03rd 2006, #17
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, franjipani, Jan 03rd 2006, #18
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Erikall, Jan 03rd 2006, #19
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, mw, Jan 03rd 2006, #21
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Auntie_of_3, Jan 04th 2006, #22
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, JamiJami, Jan 04th 2006, #23
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, JamiJami, Jan 04th 2006, #24
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, JamiJami, Jan 04th 2006, #25
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, mkwiat, Jan 04th 2006, #28
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, wilds, Jan 04th 2006, #29
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, 3D Montana Mama, Jan 04th 2006, #30
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, angeliagg, Jan 04th 2006, #31
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, VballPlayer, Jan 04th 2006, #32
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, boomom, Jan 04th 2006, #33
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Mommyto5, Jan 04th 2006, #34
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, RoseMarie, Jan 04th 2006, #35
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, karenms50, Jan 04th 2006, #36
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Russo Trips, Jan 04th 2006, #38
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, triplebusy, Jan 04th 2006, #39
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Kpark, Jan 04th 2006, #40
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, tripplefun, Jan 04th 2006, #41
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Kpark, Jan 04th 2006, #43
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, mylostboys, Jan 04th 2006, #48
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, momoftreasures, Jan 05th 2006, #69
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Michelle2005, Jan 04th 2006, #42
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Lori_Ann, Jan 04th 2006, #44
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, azwallace, Jan 04th 2006, #45
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, MSTAR, Jan 04th 2006, #46
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Catw3kittens, Jan 04th 2006, #47
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, karenms50, Jan 04th 2006, #59
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Tasha, Jan 04th 2006, #61
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Catw3kittens, Jan 05th 2006, #79
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, KIM4BRAD, Jan 05th 2006, #78
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, the quadmother, Jan 05th 2006, #95
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, madmolly, Jan 04th 2006, #50
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, jamielynne8, Jan 04th 2006, #53
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, new3mommy, Jan 04th 2006, #58
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Catw3kittens, Jan 05th 2006, #80
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, hanerhah, Jan 05th 2006, #84
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, TripleScoop, Jan 04th 2006, #57
You're right!, tulip, Jan 04th 2006, #63
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, momoftreasures, Jan 05th 2006, #67
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, TripleScoop, Jan 04th 2006, #60
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, busygirltrips, Jan 04th 2006, #62
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, TripleScoop, Jan 05th 2006, #64
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, jac, Jan 05th 2006, #75
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Agapi, Jan 05th 2006, #65
please do NOT let the select few chase you away, tripplefun, Jan 05th 2006, #66
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, boomom, Jan 05th 2006, #72
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, jac, Jan 05th 2006, #76
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, boomom, Jan 05th 2006, #81
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, kimba, Jan 05th 2006, #68
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Antique_Mom, Jan 05th 2006, #70
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Jbrooke, Jan 05th 2006, #77
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, azwallace, Jan 05th 2006, #88
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Tasha, Jan 05th 2006, #92
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, jac, Jan 05th 2006, #93
RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS, Valerie3, Jan 05th 2006, #89



PAML
Tue Jan-03-06 08:46 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1436 posts


#154376, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Lots of prayers for you Cat, hope you get the family of your dreams!


ggg @ 31+ weeks

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my4beauties
Tue Jan-03-06 08:55 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1508 posts


#154378, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Praying...
Irene
Blessed SAHM
Sophia, Jack, Nina 1/02
Harrison 6/03

****Faith is not believing that God can - it is knowing that HE WILL.****

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erica m
Tue Jan-03-06 08:56 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
54 posts


#154379, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

I will definitely be praying for another miracle for you. Triplets are amazing.
I so admire you!
Grandma marylou

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bsebllmom9
Tue Jan-03-06 09:00 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
750 posts


#154381, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 3

Many prayers your way! I pray you get the family you so greatly desire! Let us know when the FET is so we can cheer your embies on!

Michelle

~33wk2d~BGB
~Ayden~(id)~Ryley~(frat)~Dylan~(id)~
Stephanie~13yo
Tyler~15yo
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aydenryleydylan/




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fivenelli
Tue Jan-03-06 09:42 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
116 posts


#154393, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 5

I was also surprised to see this post after the landslide of admonishment that the other woman received.
Jeanne
Mommy to Frank, Grace & Sarah 1/18/02

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HOWMANY
Tue Jan-03-06 09:55 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
542 posts


#154396, "Just curious"
In response to Reply # 5

I don't like to get caught up in the flame wars that happen on this site. But like you I couldn't leave this one alone.

Had Cat not posted asking for prayers and her intentions for another triplet pregnancy, but posted that she had already under went the FET and had been blessed again with triplets would you then suggest to her the she have a SR?

I feel you could have got your point across without being so harsh to Cat and scratching at a wound the way you did.

Should people go out and TRY for a HOM pregnancy? Probably not, but who would know better what needs to be done with this type of pregnancy then one of us who have already been through such a pregnancy?

I'm not sure you know Cat's whole story and how she lost her DD. Which I was going to say in this post. But that is for Cat to give out that info if she so choose to share that.

Amy
Wife to Jason(pixelpusher)
Mom to Gwynne, Connor, Chloe 11/03/03
25wks 1day

www.caringbridge.org/visit/connorferris

http://lilypie.com>

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tulip
Tue Jan-03-06 10:02 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
4077 posts


#154401, "RE: Just curious"
In response to Reply # 8

Thank you for saying something, Amy. Right now I'm just so hurt that anyone would say anything to Cat other than something supportive. She has been such a personal support & champion to countless others here, even through all her heartbreak & personal losses. It would be much easier to keep one's negative opinions to oneself, I would think, if one does not agree with Cat's decision.

It really hurts me when someone hurts a friend.

My prayer for Cat is that God's Will be done.

Tulip & The Three Amigos
GBG born at 35w5d on December 31, 2002 - Happy New Year's Eve!!!

YES! You *can* breastfeed triplets!!!

I am a Velveteen Rabbit, and the birth, love, kisses & magic that are my children has made me Real.

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J
Tue Jan-03-06 10:24 PM
Member since Sep 28th 2005
50 posts


#154408, "RE: Just curious"
In response to Reply # 8
Tue Jan-03-06 10:28 PM by J

I think its all in the way you read it, I've had several people privately email me thanking me for saying what they couldn't and being leveled headed and not harsh about it... interesting how perspectives can be different.

And yes I am aware of Cat's whole story about how she lost her dd at the hands of a neglegent doctor. Horrific and tragic, there's just no delicate way to put that.

And no I would never recomment SR to anyone as I am solidly on the pro-life side of things. If one ends up pg with HOMs (like we all did) I am of the opinion that you need to just go forward with what you have, but TRYING for triplets???? That's a completely different ethical question. There is a reason responsible doctors don't try to give people triplets. I think we can all understand why.

I think you need to glance at this from my perspective for a second. A couple of weeks ago there was a BIG long thread where many of us replied to a woman trying for triplets. So many of us were deeply offended (I mean really offended) and we shared our feelings on the matter. It unfortunately got pulled (although I saved a copy for anyone wanting to read it), and now Cat, who has already posted about this in the more private bereaved forum decides to post about it again here where she knows we will all read it. I seriously read that thinking that she was just doing it to mock/challenge all of us. Its possible that she never read that thread, but she is a frequent and active poster, so I doubt it.

My post was not harsh, it was realistic and needed to be said. Unfortunately those who posted in the other thread will be less likely to speak up against a frequent poster like Cat. I didn't post to be mean or to attack, I did it because someone has to stand up for what's right and I wouldn't want anyone lurking on here to read a bunch of 'well wishes' and 'prayers' to fulfill what is amounts to one very misguided desire, without seeing that not everyone agrees.


J

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Catw3kittens
Wed Jan-04-06 06:05 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2115 posts


#154694, "RE: Just curious"
In response to Reply # 14

You're wrong. I never read the other post.

Oh, and I am not TRYING for triplets. I simply asked for prayers that I would be blessed them again. No matter how difficult the pregnancy, I have yet to find the woman here who does not consider her triplets a blessing.

Go in peace.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://lilypie.com> [

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Catw3kittens
Wed Jan-04-06 08:05 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2115 posts


#154729, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 14

:( I've had several people privately email me thanking me for saying what they couldn't and being leveled headed and not harsh about it...

I was surprised to see that there were others who read my post and my "desire for triplets" as "trying for triplets." This is almost amusing except that you have used this as a way of saying that you have this little support group that eggs you on when you say deliberately cruel things to other people.


You know I read this and told myself to just bite my tongue and let it go, but I cannot.

J, I will continue to pray for your self-control. It is clear that we cannot surgically control our appetites for cruelty and that is truly a shame.


I am sure you read the whole thread a couple of weeks ago from the woman who came here saying she was actively trying for triplets. I am sure that you saw how many of us were so deeply offended by her irresponsible and selfish desire for 'triplet fame'.

No, I did not read the whole thread a couple of weeks ago re anyone TRYING for triplets. Or, if I did, I certainly read it with a grain of salt and did not respond and/or consider it further. But, I really don't understand the entire concept of "triplet fame" in any event. The truth is that people who walk away with three babies gripe about the comments, and make it sound rather uncomfortable at times.


I sit here wondering if you are just posting this to mock those of us who were offended by the other woman's irresponsible choice????

Please do not presume that I would take the time to mock anyone here. I find mocking to be cruel and juvenile. I'm too busy raising my babies, growing my business, and taking care of my father to spend my time in this fashion.

Or maybe you still have some issues that stem from your loss that you haven't completely worked out that are leading you down this wreckless path. Even another triplet pregnancy will not take away the pain of her loss.

I'm not sure how one is supposed to respond to this "non-hateful and tactful" comment from you. Harsh?? H'mmm... Let's suffice it to say that I will refer you to your comments regarding my intelligence and note that as of tomorrow I will officially begin celebrating the anniversary of Carina's death. Your comments are, if nothing else, timely.

For the sake of your body, for the sake of your living children, for the sake of your lost child and for the sake of your future pregnancy please do not TRY for triplets.

I'm puzzled about how any of this pertains to my "lost child" as she is truly dead. As for "trying" for triplets, I'm hopeful that your reading is more carefully directed to detail if and when you commence reviewing medical charts. A failure to read carefully can be hurtful when you respond in your typical "non-harsh" fashion, but it can be deadly when it involves medical treatments. 'Just a thought...


I think you need to glance at this from my perspective for a second. A couple of weeks ago there was a BIG long thread where many of us replied to a woman trying for triplets. So many of us were deeply offended (I mean really offended) and we shared our feelings on the matter. It unfortunately got pulled (although I saved a copy for anyone wanting to read it),...

H'mmmm... You responded and then the thread got pulled? Fancy that, J.. I wonder how that evolved?


...and now Cat, who has already posted about this in the more private bereaved forum...

Huh? You frequent the bereaved forum in order to scope out our data for future use in this forum? That seems a bit perverse and more than just a bit rude. If you don't belong at that forum, perhaps you should not pry into other peoples' grief. It's inconsiderate to read other peoples' mail.

I seriously read that thinking that she was just doing it to mock/challenge all of us. Its possible that she never read that thread, but she is a frequent and active poster, so I doubt it.

I'm a frequent poster here, although I have really stepped back since Labor Day weekend and the resulting "well-intended" comments that were made by you regarding how I didn't really have my hands full since I had things easy, only having two to care for. I skim the posts, and I don't comment on everything, but I remain puzzled how you would infer that I do a 24/7 on this site by the fact that I do post here...


My post was not harsh, it was realistic and needed to be said.

Perhaps I will simply pray that you will be given clearer vision, not only to read details but also to assess what is and is not unkind and harsh.


Unfortunately those who posted in the other thread will be less likely to speak up against a frequent poster like Cat.

I think that you have just blown your cover. If you had indicated that folks might be disinclined to voice a different opinion, that would be one thing. I notice that you are pointing out that others might not wish to speak up AGAINST me. I'm glad if you're right about that -- there's really no need to be AGAINST anyone here...

I didn't post to be mean or to attack, I did it because someone has to stand up for what's right and I wouldn't want anyone lurking on here to read a bunch of 'well wishes' and 'prayers' to fulfill what is amounts to one very misguided desire, without seeing that not everyone agrees.

Consider your civic duty accomplished, J Frankly, to any lurkers you have also probably furthered their unwillingness to participate on this forum. But, as with any group, there are some people who value "being right" over doing what is right.

I remember long telephone calls with you and, while I didn't always think that you had conducted your personal life wisely, I thought you were a nice person. I'm unsure what I ever did to offend you or call myself so negatively to your attention, but I find that I don't understand why you bother to blast people on this site. Interestingly, even hiding behind a new login name hasn't stopped everyone from figuring out that you are still the same person as the old "J."

I'm so sorry that you felt that you needed to respond to my deep desire for prayers in such an un-prayerlike manner. Yes, I'm offended.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://lilypie.com>

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tripplefun
Wed Jan-04-06 09:20 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
273 posts


#154747, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 52

Huh? You frequent the bereaved forum in order to scope out our data for future use in this forum? That seems a bit perverse and more than just a bit rude. If you don't belong at that forum, perhaps you should not pry into other peoples' grief. It's inconsiderate to read other peoples' mail.

So does that mean because I currently cannot post pics because my regular PC is down I cannot visit the photo forum? Does that mean that someone who is trying to potty train there 3 1/2 year olds cannot visit the veterans forum? Give me a break and get off your pedestal BEFORE IT BREAKS!!

I remember long telephone calls with you and, while I didn't always think that you had conducted your personal life wisely, I thought you were a nice person. I'm unsure what I ever did to offend you or call myself so negatively to your attention, but I find that I don't understand why you bother to blast people on this site. Interestingly, even hiding behind a new login name hasn't stopped everyone from figuring out that you are still the same person as the old "J."

You bash J for what she thinks and feels, then you start talking negatively about J's personal life, HA, WTF is wrong with you?

SOME OF THE VERY SAME PEOPLE THAT BASHED THE PREVIOUS POSTER ABOUT THIS EXACT TOPIC ARE NOW DEFENDING YOU. You cannot tell me that does not bother you, and if it does not IT SHOULD!
This is not Cat's forum, i think alot here are forgeting who runs this and the real reason we all frequent this site.




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psalm127_3
Wed Jan-04-06 09:39 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
557 posts


#154754, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 55



I would hardly compare lurking or going to the photo forum or other forums to reading people's deepest thoughts and heartbreaks on the bereaved forum. That should be left to those of us that have lost a child and we should not fear that people are reading it for their amusement or curiosity.
Michelle

Mom to three beautiful girls and a precious baby boy!

http://www.shaklee.net/healthyhomematters



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boomom
Thu Jan-05-06 01:51 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
513 posts


#154923, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 56

Although I can see were you are coming from Michelle, we need to remember that this is a public forum. People sharing their deepest thoughts and heartbreaks on this forum need to realize that, that is what the private messaging system is intended for.
Also, alot of members wish to not publicly share their loss, but still seek guidance and comfort through just reading or lurking.

Boomom--formerly known as trpsn1
G 11 yo
GGB 8 yo

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psalm127_3
Thu Jan-05-06 03:50 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
557 posts


#154975, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 83



but some of the people lurking on the bereaved forum haven't lost a child to begin with and are just being nosy, which is their right since it is public, but then to take what they read and use it against a member is what i think is completely and totally wrong.

honestly, i think whether it is a public forum or not the bereaved forum should be respected and held sacred and be a sanctuary for those that have lost a child and others should respect that and leave it alone. it isn't there for people's amusement and now people are going to be less likely to post there if they don't feel it is a safe haven. maybe it should be password protected. i certainly think it should be after seeing what has happened here and how people view it with so little respect. you certainly can't compare it to this forum or the photo forum.
Michelle

Mom to three beautiful girls and a precious baby boy!

http://www.shaklee.net/healthyhomematters



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boomom
Thu Jan-05-06 06:32 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
513 posts


#155032, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 90

I agree with you, I would like to see it password protected also, as I would like that for the whole forum. Maybe it is something that is possible? I think it may be something in all of our best interests. Good idea Michelle

Boomom--formerly known as trpsn1
G 11 yo
GGB 8 yo

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kunster
Thu Jan-05-06 08:17 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
344 posts


#154827, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 52

>
>J, I will continue to pray for your self-control. It is
>clear that we cannot surgically control our appetites for
>cruelty and that is truly a shame.


I'm sorry, Cat, but that is completely out of line. I cannot believe that you would belittle someone's choice to have surgery to better their life.

Laura M. - Chicagoland
mommy to miracles
Hannah, Sarah and Emma
4/21/00 --- 28w5d
see us online at www.markunfamily.com


"Many children, many cares; no children, no felicity." -Christian Nevell
Bovee

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boomom
Thu Jan-05-06 09:06 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
513 posts


#154837, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 71

If that truly is what was meant by that statement (and I pray that it wasn't meant that way), then I agree with you Laura, completely out of line.
Boomom--formerly known as trpsn1
G 11 yo
GGB 8 yo

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Catw3kittens
Thu Jan-05-06 02:54 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2115 posts


#154947, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 73

Sweetie, no way was that what was meant. I was basically pointing out to J that I've known her for a long time and that I really did not deserve to be attacked in this fashion. I was wishing aloud that there was some way that we could curb her cruel thoughts... And, frankly, I was quite hurt, again, with respect to her ongoing comments about my baby girl.

Fondly,
Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://lilypie.com> [

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psalm127_3
Thu Jan-05-06 01:32 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
557 posts


#154920, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 71



>>
>>J, I will continue to pray for your self-control. It is
>>clear that we cannot surgically control our appetites for
>>cruelty and that is truly a shame.
>
>
>I'm sorry, Cat, but that is completely out of line. I cannot
>believe that you would belittle someone's choice to have
>surgery to better their life.
>

I have to agree with Laura here. I didn't notice this in your post and in defending yourself in what you saw as cruel you in turn jabbed back. Is that right?

J tends to be blunt and she is one of my best friends and yes I thought she shouldn't have posted and mentioned as such and now may have lost her as a friend over this ridiculous post. But the bluntness on her part was responded with meanness on yours, Cat. That was wrong, too.
Michelle

Mom to three beautiful girls and a precious baby boy!

http://www.shaklee.net/healthyhomematters



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Catw3kittens
Thu Jan-05-06 02:59 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2115 posts


#154948, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 82

I was not putting down on bariatric surgery. I was commenting upon J's inability to refrain from hitting me when I post. I generally do not post on my own behalf on this forum.

Today is the anniversary of the beginning of the end with respect to Carina. She either died two years ago today or tomorrow. I'm really hurting pretty bad right now, and I didn't intend to get "mean" with J -- it's just that her comments were cruel and unnecessary. I was also someone who considered herself to be friends with J, and I have not understood her personal attacks on me over the past 6 to 8 months.

But, you're right about one thing: I should not stoop to taking shots back. It doesn't help anything.

I appreciate your kindness and your helpfulness. And, I hope that you have not lost J's friendship -- not over me. Okay?

Fondly,
Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://lilypie.com> [

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psalm127_3
Thu Jan-05-06 03:52 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
557 posts


#154976, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 87



i am so sorry for your loss and that you have to endure this crazy post at such a time as this.

peace to you at this time, cat. i hope God grants you peace and all your hearts desires in the coming weeks.

blessings,

michelle
Michelle

Mom to three beautiful girls and a precious baby boy!

http://www.shaklee.net/healthyhomematters



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Catw3kittens
Thu Jan-05-06 02:52 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2115 posts


#154945, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 71

Laura:

I was not belittling J's choice for bariatric surgery. Rather, I was simply wishing aloud that there was a similar device for dealing with her downloading of caustic commentary.

I have a number of close friends who have undergone bariatric surgery and I have true respect and admiration for them and their decision. It has changed their lives.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://lilypie.com> [

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kunster
Thu Jan-05-06 05:14 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
344 posts


#155004, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 85

>Laura:
>
>I was not belittling J's choice for bariatric surgery.
>Rather, I was simply wishing aloud that there was a similar
>device for dealing with her downloading of caustic
>commentary.

I really have no idea how on earth you can expect anyone to believe that. You took something very personal (to J) and used it in a very hateful way. There is no way that was "wishing aloud".


Laura M. - Chicagoland
mommy to miracles
Hannah, Sarah and Emma
4/21/00 --- 28w5d
see us online at www.markunfamily.com


"Many children, many cares; no children, no felicity." -Christian Nevell
Bovee

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Catw3kittens
Thu Jan-05-06 05:30 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2115 posts


#155008, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 94

Laura: Until you clarified it, it was not clear to anyone else what I was referring to. It was pretty innocuous and not at all delineated with respect to anything J had decided to do. So, yes, it was certainly "wishing aloud..." and it was also a mean comment on my part. Perhaps deserved, but way beneath me. I apologize.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://lilypie.com> [

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kunster
Thu Jan-05-06 05:46 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
344 posts


#155016, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 96

Cat,
There is no way I am going to have the blame put on me for your comments. You know in your heart what you meant when you posted, and I refuse to be called out as the one who 'clarified' it. J was very open about her surgery and many, many people here knew what you were referring to. I don't understand why you keep deflecting responsibility for comments that you have made and making them everyone else's fault.

Laura M. - Chicagoland
mommy to miracles
Hannah, Sarah and Emma
4/21/00 --- 28w5d
see us online at www.markunfamily.com


"Many children, many cares; no children, no felicity." -Christian Nevell
Bovee

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Catw3kittens
Thu Jan-05-06 06:03 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2115 posts


#155022, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 97

huh?????????????

Most people didn't even realize that J was our dear "J" girl, much less that she'd had bariatric surgery...

What I meant when I posted the comment was simply that I wish that we had some sort of surgery to force J to bite her tongue and control her comments. I stand by that comment, although it was mean spirited. Come to think of it, I don't even stand by the comment. I apologize for that, too. It is unnecessary for me to make such a nasty statement no matter what else has been said.

Thank you for pointing this out to me






again.


Hopefully this apology will be contrite enough to appease you. I really do regret having made any nasty comments to J despite her truly harsh attitude towards me. I think her comments could well have been limited to the fact that she would pray that I would be given a healthy pregnancy... and she could even have pointed out that there remain risks in HOM pregnancies. Everything else was directed at me under some fantasy that I was "mocking" someone.

Still, my comments could also have been directed solely as my initial comments were and did not need to include my extensive "replies." I do apologize for any mean comments, including the wish that someone could sew another person's mouth closed sometimes. It was just not necessary.

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://lilypie.com> [

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fivenelli
Thu Jan-05-06 09:26 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
116 posts


#154844, "RE: A few replies now that I'm seeing straight again..."
In response to Reply # 52

WOW!! I really thought that the mudslinging had reached it's highest level, but this is over the top. Congratulations.
Jeanne
Mommy to Frank, Grace & Sarah 1/18/02

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psalm127_3
Tue Jan-03-06 10:38 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
557 posts


#154414, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 5



J,

I consider you to be one of my best friends, so please don't hate me for responding to you, but I don't understand what you have against Cat and why you have to post such tactless things to her; this one being one of the worst and most hurtful. She isn't the kind of person to post something to just mock someone. I am also thinking back to the post about her leaving her kids in the car (which I don't think you read or understood the whole point or position she or the kids were in). You really should have just bit your tongue, especially since you have never been in her shoes and you should know to never, ever comment on someone's loss or their intentions in the grieving process. It is just callous.

I think it is one thing for someone who does not understand what it is like to carry or have multiples to deliberately try to have them, but someone who has been there has a different perspective.

I also remember when I was pregnant with Alex you saying you wished I was pregnant with triplets (back when they weren't sure if it was two sacs or a hemorrhage), how neat you thought it would be, and I told you that you were nuts and not to wish that on me. Of course, I assume you were half joking, but still.

If you don't like Cat, why don't you just stay away from her posts.

>You know I read this and told myself to just bite my tongue
>and let it go, but I cannot. I am sure you read the whole
>thread a couple of weeks ago from the woman who came here
>saying she was actively trying for triplets. I am sure that
>you saw how many of us were so deeply offended by her
>irresponsible and selfish desire for 'triplet fame'. I just
>can't believe an intelligent woman like yourself who already
>KNOWS the dangers a triplet pregnancy would desire another
>one. You say it sounds bizarre to those who do not have
>triplets... on the contrary, we HOM mothers, the ones who are
>all too aware of the dangers should be the LAST to wish such a
>thing on a person.
>
>I sit here wondering if you are just posting this to mock
>those of us who were offended by the other woman's
>irresponsible choice???? Or maybe you still have some issues
>that stem from your loss that you haven't completely worked
>out that are leading you down this wreckless path. Even
>another triplet pregnancy will not take away the pain of her
>loss.
>
>For the sake of your body, for the sake of your living
>children, for the sake of your lost child and for the sake of
>your future pregnancy please do not TRY for triplets. What I
>wish for you is a perfectly healthy, safe and uneventful
>pregnancy.
Michelle

Mom to three beautiful girls and a precious baby boy!

http://www.shaklee.net/healthyhomematters



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J
Tue Jan-03-06 10:59 PM
Member since Sep 28th 2005
50 posts


#154425, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 15

I was no 'harsher' with Cat than I was with the other woman that posted a few weeks ago. Its the ISSUE that I am addressing, not the person. Read my reply to howmany and see why I cannot just let it go, something has to be said so that people don't get the impression that what she is doing has everyone's stamp of approval.

Its just like when I used to speak up against SR. I haven't been around much as you know so I don't do it as often anymore, but in the past I spoke up about how wrong I thought it was even when people were saying it not the PC thing to say and that is a personal decision. If someone asked you to pray that their SR went well would you? Or would you speak up for what you really believe?

And did you conveniently forget the myriad of other replies Cat got in the leaving-her-children-in-the-car thread??? Many people were freaked out when they read that and responded accordingly. Why do you think I am singling anyone out?

>>Of course, I assume you were half joking, but still.

half-joking? I was completely joking. Why would I wish a high risk pg for anyone?


J

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psalm127_3
Tue Jan-03-06 11:27 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
557 posts


#154454, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 16



i guess it is just the tone of your post, especially mentioning her loss without any empathy in your message (or so it reads).

she, having been there, understands the risks and she obviously wants more children and this may be the best way for her to do it.

i don't know, maybe i am wrong, and i am sorry if i am.

but back to her post, i am just praying for God's will and will leave it at that.
Michelle

Mom to three beautiful girls and a precious baby boy!

http://www.shaklee.net/healthyhomematters



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momoftreasures
Wed Jan-04-06 01:18 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
563 posts


#154479, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 20

I guess i just do not agree with some of these posts and I feel the way you attacked Cat with her decision was so uncalled for....I myself have triplets and had a beutiful and wonderfuly safe pregnancy besides minor bedrest....Yes I know many of us have diffrent opinions but Hey we all choose not to do SR RIGHT? We were very aware of the risk and many of us have lived with the outcomes of our decisions. I think sometimes we all forget that their was a time we were just women who were TRIPLETLESS....Many of us had no idea we would be choosen by god to have these wonderful children. Just like their is really no answer why Cat truely had to endure the pain of losing her little girl....I think Cat is such an amazing mom. She has proven to be a supportive and great person on this board and if any of us deserve to have triplets again it sure is her..
A few weeks ago I was very shocked at the comments I read to the other persons post. It was so terrible regardless of the situation it is a personal choice to become pg and a personal choice to carry one two or three or seven babies...We all make choices based on our morals and our beliefs and our desires. SR is so talked about on this board noone ever comes out and says OH wait you are killing your babies. But we scream when someone posts who may actually be pregnant and looking for our opinions on having triplets. DId anyone go to think that other lady was already pg. What if you would of visited this board and read all of that trash about being pregnant and all the work would you truely of choosen to keep your babies. I guess I am just upset that we attack one of our own because she truely loves her children so much that she would love to repeat that love again. I myself was never aware of SR and what it actually intails. It was mentioned at a doctors apointment and I simply with out hesitation said no and I never even bothered to research it. I guess it shocks me that women really do reasearch this topic. I am sorry that I have rambled but I am just shocked....

Cat I pray for you to have the best of luck and I know in my heart GOD will provide you with the family he so desires you to have...Your little girl in heaven is always going to have that very special place right in your heart...
Happy New year and many blessing and prayers are heading your way....Good luck I can not wait to hear you baby or babies news...

I think some people are crazy...If I was done with college and had the resources I would have triplets again in a heart beat...Maybe that is easy for me to say knowing that my body is awesome and WE did it. I have never had family close to me and I can honestly say it can be done....I guess their is only one thing most of us have in common and that is the fact that we all were pg with triplets. We all do have diffrent ideas and diffrent ways we raise our kids. I just wish people were more considerate and more supportive....No one lecture Brooke when she told us about her Twins By the way congradulations Your life will be so full of blessings and wonderful moments...
Be prepared they found twins when I was 7 weeks and triplets at 9. Just so you are not as shocked as I was HAHAHAHAHA
Amy Houle

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mylostboys
Wed Jan-04-06 01:26 AM
Member since Aug 29th 2005
118 posts


#154481, "Whoa!"
In response to Reply # 5

So here I am, not always feeling very welcome on this side of the fence, as I read a post by a dear friend who has gone through what I have, and helped me with my grief as I try to help her. I have read all the back and forth he haw in this sub thread and have to say what is on my mind this time. I too lost 2 of my triplets due to neglagence.

J, you come off as arogant, and high and mighty preaching for "the right thing" who are you to deside what the right thing is for Cat? She will go through her FET (if I could be right there taking care of the weebles and holding her hand, I would) and what ever happens, happens. After a loss like ours it is not fair to say that wanting another multiple pg is compensation. I do not presume to know if you have been through such horror, and if you have I am truly sorry, however, no matter where you sit this is not your decision. I would love to be pg with triplets again, not because of my loss, but because of the wonderous joy, and growth I felt. This is all I know. Due to my health from the trio, I may not ever get pg again. Cat has her own reasons, and she is level headed and strong enough to know what she wants, and who are we to knock her for wanting the joy of triplets again? It's not like she doesn't know what she's getting into. I could go on and on, but I am gonna say this. You feel the way you feel, fine. She feels the way she feels. And the lady who wanted triplets probably had her own reasons whether we agree or not. If she gets her wish, will she be welcome here?
btw my doc practically did back flips when we saw the three heart beats.

Cat, You've been in my prayers since day one, you know I'll be by your side no matter what.

Faye
Ringmaster to Ashely15, Marky11, Steven10
Momma to bbb @ 23 wks 1/23/04
Jesse James ^i^ 2/12/04
Wyatt James ^i^ 1/24/04
Allen James Wow! I'm growing so fast!

http://lilypie.com> [/im

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kschenker
Wed Jan-04-06 10:46 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
152 posts


#154531, "RE: Whoa!"
In response to Reply # 27

Cat,

I wish you the best and am sending prayers your way....
Karri
Mom to Kolton (10), Madison(5), McKayla(5), and Dalton(5)

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jac
Wed Jan-04-06 08:02 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
282 posts


#154727, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 5

It amazes me how this board can have two completely different reactions on basically the same topic.
I know that there are people who are "friends" on this board and of course you are going to stick up for them. However, I don't think J should be blasted for speaking her mind when the other poster was ripped apart by the same women congratulating Cat.

I wish nothing but the best for Cat and hope she has a uneventful pregnancy.
JAC
Proud Mom to:
Peyton, Brooke & Sydney
7/6/00 35w4d
& Ethan William 5/24/05

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tripplefun
Wed Jan-04-06 09:03 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
273 posts


#154743, "HMM... HOW RIGHT YOU ARE"
In response to Reply # 51

GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS POINT!!


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HOWMANY
Tue Jan-03-06 09:29 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
542 posts


#154389, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

I was wondering when you were going to be doing this. Are you still going out of state to have it done?

Not sure how much help I could be in the next few months with RSV season. But if your in a pinch and need anything let me know. If I cannot get to you I can get my mom or sister over to you.


((((HUGS))))

Amy
Wife to Jason(pixelpusher)
Mom to Gwynne, Connor, Chloe 11/03/03
25wks 1day

www.caringbridge.org/visit/connorferris

http://lilypie.com>

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GOVOLSGIRL
Tue Jan-03-06 10:04 PM
Member since Jul 27th 2005
36 posts


#154403, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 6

i continue to be amazed at how hateful people can be. honey...i wish you the best. i am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. i can not imagine that pain, and none of us can know what it is like to walk in your shoes. keep your chin up and i pray blessings on you and your little ones.

and seriously...to the flamers--did your mom not teach you 'if you cant say something nice dont say anything at all?" we get enough criticism and crap in this world without jumping on each other.
B/B/G TRIPLETS DUE 01/01/06

http://lilypie.com>

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fivenelli
Tue Jan-03-06 10:23 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
116 posts


#154406, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 10

I didn't think that Js post was particularly hateful. I guess that you have to infer the hate. She does wish Cat a healthy and uneventful pregnancy at the end and there is nothing hateful about that.

It seems clear that some of the posters to this thread were very mindful that Cat was going to be trying and posted to the other woman accordingly. But even though the posts were carefully worded, they all said the same thing: They'd never advise someone to try for a triplet pregnancy. It is wonderful that they are supportive of their friend, but they can't expect that everyone else will just forget about all of the risks and pray for triplets.

Whatever happens, I hope that Cat is blessed with a pregnancy. Whether it is multiples or not, I hope that she carries to term and delivers a healthy child or children. No hate is implied in this post, so I hope that none is inferred either.
Jeanne
Mommy to Frank, Grace & Sarah 1/18/02

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AngelP
Tue Jan-03-06 10:19 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
767 posts


#154405, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Cat,
My prayers are with you! I wish you the very best of luck! Let us know when your procedure is scheduled.
Angel (mom to Justin, Andrew, Brandon 6 yrs, Angie 12 yrs)

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hanerhah
Tue Jan-03-06 10:24 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
926 posts


#154407, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Hey Cat,

You KNOW I am praying for you - - we have been through so much together already and I have absolutely no doubt that if there is one person on here who could handle another triplet pregnancy it is you. But, I actually have a little different wish for you, since experiencing the absolute joy of my little Marcus and how completely different it is to have a singleton vs. a multiple set, I wish you a healthy baby that you can go completely bonkers over like I have. Of course, 2 or 3 babies would be fine too, but wow is it a wonderful experience having a singleton too!

Please keep me informed of when and where things are going on and most importantly how you are doing. I'll be dying to hear!
Heidi
Lydia - 5lbs, Sasha 5.8lbs and Isabella 5.7lbs
born at 34 weeks 5 days
AND NOW...MARCUS EARL, 9.2lbs!!!!
Lydia, Sasha and Isabella are:
h

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Laurene
Tue Jan-03-06 11:03 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
343 posts


#154427, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Cat - As someone else said - Gods will be done. I wish the very best outcome for you - FET's are stressful but that is how we were able to have our precious three so success does happen. Take care of yourself - your in our prayers for whatever is ment to happen for you. I wish I knew what to do with our 17 frozen embies...
Laurene- BBG 1/16/2005 32 weeks; DD 24, DD 22, DS 20



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franjipani
Tue Jan-03-06 11:23 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
877 posts


#154450, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

my darling cat (sharpest claw on the paw)
of course i am praying for you. could you please email me at your convenience? two things i wish to discuss with you, one of them pg related.
so much love....


tess
mummy to sebastian (revered one) 3 yrs
jasper (precious stone), sela (pause and reflect) and carys (beloved) on 23 feb 2004, 26wks 2 d

"the days are slow but the years fly by quickly"

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Erikall
Tue Jan-03-06 11:26 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
777 posts


#154453, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

You know you have my family's prayers....


And all 60 fingers and ten wing-tips crossed!

Erika



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mw
Tue Jan-03-06 11:50 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1883 posts


#154465, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

(((Hugs Cat)))

I hope that all goes well and pray that you end up with a healthy baby or babies and that there be no heartbreak.

Marie

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Auntie_of_3
Wed Jan-04-06 12:47 AM
Member since Dec 30th 2005
5 posts


#154473, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0


Cat,

I will add you to my prayer list, Only God know what we can handle. I wish you the best in the day ahead. Oh and by the way I do live in the SoCal area is Lakewood close enough!


http://www.GlitterMaker.com/>

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JamiJami
Wed Jan-04-06 01:01 AM
Member since Aug 03rd 2005
168 posts


#154475, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

I'm sending you prayers right now!!!

All the best for you
Jami (new login for Jami is JamiJami)


mom to almost 4 year old girl


and spontaneous 36 weeker BGG triplets


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JamiJami
Wed Jan-04-06 01:01 AM
Member since Aug 03rd 2005
168 posts


#154476, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

I'm sending you prayers right now!!!

All the best for you
Jami (new login for Jami is JamiJami)


mom to almost 4 year old girl


and spontaneous 36 weeker BGG triplets


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JamiJami
Wed Jan-04-06 01:01 AM
Member since Aug 03rd 2005
168 posts


#154477, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

I'm sending you prayers right now!!!

All the best for you
Jami (new login for Jami is JamiJami)


mom to almost 4 year old girl


and spontaneous 36 weeker BGG triplets


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mkwiat
Wed Jan-04-06 01:29 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
288 posts


#154482, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Cat,

I have yet to meet you in person (hopefully this weekend) and I do not know your story in detail as I joined a bit later than your babies were born, but I know that you are an amazing woman and I know that God has blessed you and I pray that he blesses you again in every way that you can handle.

BTW, FET is on my mind lately also, so I'll be praying extra hard to see everything work out.

Maryann
Mom to
Malena, Joshua, and Jacob
born 12/20/03 @ 34wks 5d

www.mybabypages.com
username: Triplets
password: Kwiat3

http://lilypie.com/baby2/031220/0/10/1/-8/

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wilds
Wed Jan-04-06 01:33 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1877 posts


#154484, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Cat,
I will be praying for you.
Lorraine

Reach for the heart of God and not just His hands.
Organ donation saves lives!
Life happens when love is given.
www.caringbridge.org/visit/braden

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3D Montana Mama
Wed Jan-04-06 02:27 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
267 posts


#154490, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Cat,
You and your babies to be are in my heart, my thoughts, and my prayers. I put you on a St. Gerard prayer list....May all your dreams come true!

Cynthia
DS-7/99
BBB born 8/04 at 31 4/7 weeks

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angeliagg
Wed Jan-04-06 03:18 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
256 posts


#154495, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

I hope everything goes well for you. I'll be thinking lots of good thoughts for you tomorrow.
GBB born Dec 27, 2005 at 31w4d

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VballPlayer
Wed Jan-04-06 08:02 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
384 posts


#154501, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Praying for you too! I hope you get what you want
Carrie
Big Brothers:
Tyler (4)
Noah (2)

Peanut and the Moose Brothers
Andrew (6 lbs 1 oz)
Jason (5 lbs 7 oz)
Tessa (4 lbs 12 oz)
born at 35 weeks 4 days on 11/16/05 via scheduled c/s

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boomom
Wed Jan-04-06 09:18 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
513 posts


#154510, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Cat,
My prayers are with you and if it is meant to be it will happen!(((HUGS))) and good luck!

Boomom--formerly known as trpsn1
G 11 yo
GGB 8 yo

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Mommyto5
Wed Jan-04-06 09:35 AM
Member since Jan 04th 2006
2 posts


#154514, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 33

Cat-

I am usually a lurker on this board but have followed your story. I think that you are an incredible person and are always there to guide people and give words of comfort. Please do not take to heart the message from the previous poster who did not have any kind words.

I will keep all of my fingers and toes crossed for you!


Rosa
Salvatore 08/16/01
Giuseppe, Analisa, Arianna, Alexia 12/29/03

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RoseMarie
Wed Jan-04-06 09:57 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
756 posts


#154522, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Cat - I'll send my prayers.
RoseMarie
partner to Diane
moms to the Hooligans - kayla, hannah and jake 12/21/98

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karenms50
Wed Jan-04-06 10:30 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
986 posts


#154527, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 35

Praying for you...


Karen - lucky wife to Paul,
Proud mom to spontaneous boys





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Russo Trips
Wed Jan-04-06 01:05 PM
Member since Sep 20th 2005
50 posts


#154575, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Cat,

May your heart never ache and your dreams be filled. My prayers are with you and your family.

Jeanette
b/g/b 2/20/04

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triplebusy
Wed Jan-04-06 01:09 PM
Member since Nov 16th 2005
12 posts


#154576, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

I wish you all the luck in the world!! Triplets are definitely a blessing! I will pray for you!
Amanda
mom to Ethan, Aiden, and Emma
born 32 weeks and 2 days on
8-16-05



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Kpark
Wed Jan-04-06 02:11 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
298 posts


#154608, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

I've been thinking about you. I too, feel that you are an incredibly, smart mother and woman. What is meant to be, God will give you. Some people just do not know what it is like, to be pregnant with triplets, dream of triplets day and night, prepare yourself for all of the worry, and glory, then to have that dream break. Some people just do not know what it is like to be so thankful for your survivors, and KNOW that nothing can replace your angel. Some people also do not know what it is like to feel so incomplete, and raw, and that you DESERVE what the Lord gives you, rather it be 1, 2, 3 or more babies.

I just want to say, thank you for always giving encouraging advice, and always being there for us.

"That your faith not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God." 1 Corinthians, 2:5
Kelly

Logan 5~ 12/31/99
Triplets at 33w4d
January 25, 2005
Rylan~5lb 7oz--Grade IV IVH, PVL CP-spastic quad, CVI, Epilepsy
Lyndon~4lb 6oz
^i^Eastyn~1lb 7oz

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tripplefun
Wed Jan-04-06 02:36 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
273 posts


#154620, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

A little food for thought here.
Do any of you know if the previous poster that wanted triplets has ever gone through a loss? Why did i not see the support for her that you are all giving to Cat?
Is this board a support system or not? hmmm
Just because she was a new member/lurker here she should have gotten the support that you are all giving now. How pathetic and hypocritical.
This is not a popularity contest. It is a forum for HOM'S to talk and support each other, once again if you are not the popular one and in the "click" (such high school b*ll sh*t) you dont get a response to your post, if you are woohoo look out!


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Kpark
Wed Jan-04-06 03:25 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
298 posts


#154638, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 41

I didn't respond to the previous poster who wanted triplets because, I only know the excitement of being told that you are expecting triplets, I only know what it is like to see 3 babies on an u/s, I only know what it is like to buy things in 3's. Unfortunately, I do not know what it is like to raise triplets, put them in all of the matching outfits we were given, I only know the heartache side of having triplets.

So many times, mothers of surviving triplets feel as though we don't fit into the "twin" mom groups or the "triplet" mom groups. We are very broken, and sometimes, we don't want to just blurt out the fact that we have sustained a huge loss, that we don't want to "share" our experiences with people who could, unfortunately, be in our shoes one day.

Sometimes, I feel as though this board is so split, there are people who get picked on, people who do the picking, and there are those who are supportive. I choose to be the later of those.
Kelly

Logan 5~ 12/31/99
Triplets at 33w4d
January 25, 2005
Rylan~5lb 7oz--Grade IV IVH, PVL CP-spastic quad, CVI, Epilepsy
Lyndon~4lb 6oz
^i^Eastyn~1lb 7oz

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mylostboys
Wed Jan-04-06 06:03 PM
Member since Aug 29th 2005
118 posts


#154692, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 41

I never saw that thread, but after hearing about it is why I asked:
> If she did get her wish, would she be welcome here?
As for the "click" you so colorfully describe THANK YOU FOR SAYING IT!!!!! I agree with you totally. There are reasons why some of us who have suffered loss don't post on this particular board too often.
A big standing "O" for you.
Faye
Ringmaster to Ashely15, Marky11, Steven10
Momma to bbb @ 23 wks
Jesse James ^i^
Wyatt James ^i^
Allen James Wow! I'm growing so fast!

http://lilypie.com> [/im

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momoftreasures
Thu Jan-05-06 01:21 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
563 posts


#154807, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 41

I actually emailed this new member and gave her a very well deserved apology for some of the posts. I offered her my email address to write when every she needs some mommy making support...I feel so bad that so many people tried to not only crush her wish but also her hope be it one or 8 children she just wants to be a mommy,

Amy

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Michelle2005
Wed Jan-04-06 02:45 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
737 posts


#154623, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Best wishes to you for a happy and healthy outcome Cat! Can't wait to hear your news!

B/B 31w/1d
^B^ their guardian angel

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Lori_Ann
Wed Jan-04-06 03:40 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
362 posts


#154641, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

May God bless you with a wonderful, happy pregnancy. You are a terrific mother!
Lori

Mommy to ggg born at 29 weeks, 5 days on 1-30-01

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azwallace
Wed Jan-04-06 03:47 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
20 posts


#154646, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

I'm not sure you are asking for opinions. If you are, then please read on.

I became pregnant with quads through pergonal (sp?) in March. Long story short, the doctor assured us that we would not have four...triplets at the most and that was a long shot. It was the single most difficult thing I have done thus far. I was hospitalized and scared for my babies lives the whole time. Two women had multiples while I was in the hospital. One woman at 24 weeks with triplets and one woman with 26 week quads. The 24 weekers survived but with a few complications. With the 26 weekers, one of them did not make it. I know that you know all this (risks) from losing your own.

I just wanted to stress how a multiple, high risk pregnancy affects the children. They could have CP, ROP, brain bleeds, long-term lung and heart problems, suscepablity to infections/RSV, learning disablities, etc. It may be in your heart to have multiples but I question whether it is the best thing for your future children.


Mom to India, William, Sophia, and Johanna

Born October 12, 2005



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MSTAR
Wed Jan-04-06 05:48 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
367 posts


#154687, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Good Luck Cat! I know you're hoping for three but having a singleton after a multiple pregnancy is sooooooooooo much fun. I love my three but I have a different love for my singleton. I feel like I'm now getting everything I ever missed out on with my triplets. He is the love of my life. Plus their is the added bonus of no bedrest and breezing through your pregnancy! So my wish for you is to know this too. It's really amazing. Good luck!
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

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Catw3kittens
Wed Jan-04-06 06:00 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2115 posts


#154690, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

I probably phrased my request for prayers wrong. I prayed for all three of the embryos that were transferred my first go-round, and all three thrived.

I only have the three embies remaining, and I will pray for all three, because I long for all three to become people. This is my last "hoorah" and all are being transferred. I carried a healthy pregnancy with triplets and would not ever ask that anyone pray for anything that was outside of God's will.

I'm a strong believer in the power and grace of God, and I know that He will decide all things.

BTW, I love all of my friends here at TC and I appreciate your prayers. My children have not been considered part of "the family" because they did not come to me in the standard manner. For me, part of the reason I also long for triplets is that it would be better for there to be 5 siblings than fewer, considering that once my father dies, I am all that my children have in this world. I want them to have family and to always know that they are a part of something bigger and more important than themselves. Having other siblings would be a blessing to my children.

I didn't expect anyone to question my motives.
I appreciate all kindnesses and love that I've been shown here.
Oh, and all of the prayers.

BTW, I sometimes wonder if God doesn't like to hear our prayers just so that He can point out to us who we REALLY ARE before Him, rather than who we'd like to think that we are... Just a thought...

Fondly,
Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://lilypie.com> [

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karenms50
Wed Jan-04-06 09:50 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
986 posts


#154760, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 47

Cat...that was so beautifully written....I completely agree with you...in the end God is in charge and will show us who's boss and what He has planned for our lives! I'll pray that God's will be done for your family!!


Karen - lucky wife to Paul,
Proud mom to spontaneous boys





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Tasha
Wed Jan-04-06 10:30 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
753 posts


#154770, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 47

Cat I think some of the confusion on believing you are trying for triplets is because you have actually said you are trying for triplets in the past. I only remember because I thought you were joking and it was funny and responded as such. I later got a PM from someone telling you had been talking about it on the bereavement board and were serious and I felt like a total ass for my response. I was also completely shocked because of all people I would never expect you to be one to try for a high risk pregnancy. You always seem so level headed in your posts warning others of unnecessary risks and the dangers of a HOM pregnancy. I think people could also be confused because of your recent post where you say your RE knows you long for another set of triplets and isn’t begrudging you the opportunity. That they have improved their methods so that they now usually only implant 1 or 2 embryos with great success rates but are implanting 3 for you again. I am sure many interpreted that as "trying". To be perfectly honest Cat when I read that post and remembering your other post that is how I interpreted it. I was surprised that any Dr. would go against standard practice to try for a HOM pregnancy. I am glad that was a misconception and you or your Dr are not doing anything to try and insure triplets. Not sure how that would be done but would be disturbing to know doctors were out there attempting.

Anyway I wish you the best and a happy health pregnancy.
Tasha
Julia, Megan and Alex, July 2000 @ 30 weeks and Abby Dec. 2002
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/t/tashajmaa/

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Catw3kittens
Thu Jan-05-06 12:49 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2115 posts


#154903, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 61

Thank you.

I only have the three embryos and I'm aging out for any further attempts. Thus, we are transferring all surviving embryos -- not all make the thaw. It's possible that we'll arrive at "d-day" and none will make the thaw. It's possible that we'll transfer 3 and none will implant.

I was only stating my heartfelt desire for triplets, knowing that mine was a smooth pregnancy until I had a doctor shove his own head up his butt. Had I experienced complications during the pregnancy, I would be terrified of another triplet pregnancy, but that was not the case, so I remain desirous of triplets. That's all...

My doc is also transferring 3 because there are only 3. If there were 4 we would only be transferring 2 and retaining 2 for another attempt. If there were 4, we would not be transferring 4 in an attempt to try and create a triplet pregnancy.

'Hope this clarifies things a bit...

Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://lilypie.com> [

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KIM4BRAD
Thu Jan-05-06 11:02 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
268 posts


#154870, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 47

Cat,

I think I understand what you are saying. My babies are three. When I had them I knew they would be my only babies and in the most secret place in my heart I prayed for more than one. I only had 4 good embies and they implanted them all. I am thankful I don't have to decide the fate of extra little souls in a freezer but I do secretly long for another chance to have a baby. If I were blessed with more then I would know it is God's will but in my case God made His will very clear and left me with no other little bundles to hope for. I think you are doing what is right for you! I pray for your health and the happiest family you could pray for!

Thanks for all of the wisdom you provide us and for your eloquence in doing so.

Kim, Mom to
Logan Kenneth "I want to snuggle!"
Erin Louise "I am a princess"
Connor Andrew "Mr. Manners"
http://lilypie.com>

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the quadmother
Thu Jan-05-06 05:20 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
200 posts


#155006, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 47

This was better phrased. Maybe if you had written your original post this way you wouldn't have gotten "flamed" so much. If you don't want to get slammed in response to a post, re-read and THINK REAL HARD about what you wrote and are reading back to yourself BEFORE hitting the "Post Message" button. It is very useful to use the "Preview Message" button to re-read it and see it as another member would view it.

You mention that you feel confident you could carry a second triplet pregnancy successfully based on the fact that you had no complications during your previous triplet pregnancy. (I understand the baby you lost was due to your doctor's negligence, and I send you my deepest sympathies.) I hope you realize, though, that you still could have severe complications in a second triplet pregnancy that could prove disasterous for you or your babies. Where would that leave the two children you already have? Not every pregnancy is the same. Some women have a successful singleton pregnancy, only to have a complicated subsequent singelton pregnancy or one or more subsequent miscarriages.

There is NO WAY to know that a second triplet pregnancy would be a healthy, uneventful one for you. I wouldn't bank on it if I were you! It might be wiser to just hope and pray for a healthy pregnancy, whether it be one baby or two or three. To be hoping and praying specifically for a triplet pregnancy seems selfish and irresponsible.

As for my wishes for you, God will give you what you can handle and what He knows you are destined for.

Julie

single mom to 4yo BBGB quads:

Stosh Alon
Noach Ari
Rivkah Ivanova
Nuriel Alexander

"The 'hard' is what makes it great." -- Tom Hanks in "A League of Their Own"

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
-- G

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madmolly
Wed Jan-04-06 07:13 PM
Member since Oct 07th 2005
133 posts


#154719, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

It is interesting how an unknown poster gets verbally torn apart by us (myself included) for "trying" for triplets but then Cat is met by the majority with well wishes. J, I think you are courageous for speaking your mind. After reading your post again, I can see where it can be construed as harsher than necessary, as it was personal. I am sure you didn't intend it to be taken that way.

Trying for a high-risk pregnancy would be irresponsible. Sometimes, that's the way God intends it and so be it. Triplets are a blessing, as are all babies. Certainly so after a struggle with infertility.

Cat, I wish you the best of luck and I hope that your transfer goes smoothly and uneventfully. How long does your RE recommend that you stay flat-on-your-back? I know they seem to vary in opinion. If it's not too personal, how many do you have frozen and what stage are they? When is your transfer? I will absolutely say a prayer for you! Sticky thoughts coming your way!

Lea

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jamielynne8
Wed Jan-04-06 08:55 PM
Member since Sep 24th 2005
10 posts


#154739, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 50

Hi, I hope Cat doesn't mind me posting a related question. First, I wish Cat the best - may you transfer your 3 embryos and let God's will be done.

Second, I am a new mom to triplet angels. My sons were born on 12/18 and we lost Tristin about 6 minutes after birth, Trace about 6 hours after birth and Tarver 9 days after birth. I know I have a long way to go in grieving and preparing emotionally and physically for another pregnancy. However, I already know I want to try again someday, most likely this spring/summer. I have 11 4-cell embryos that are waiting for their chance. To increase success, I want to transfer 3. However, I am very scared for triplets again - preterm labor, magnesium, bedrest and then the NICU experience. I yearn for the singleton to be born at term, placed on my belly and never leaving my room at the hospital (and of course coming home with me). What should I do - transfer only 2 and lower my success rate (and increase my chances of having to do FET again) or transfer 3 and face another high risk pregnancy?

Again, I apologize if my question is not appropriate here, but I thought it was on topic.

Thanks!
Jamielynne
Mom to 3 angels
Tristin 12/18
Trace 12/18-19
Tarver 12/18-27

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new3mommy
Wed Jan-04-06 09:50 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
686 posts


#154759, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 53

Jamielynne,
I am glad to see you posting here. I hope you will consider visiting us at Share (address at bottom), too. I followed your blog closely after my friend, Darcy, first got in contact with me and I was heartbroken for your losses. I could not even tell my husband about Tarver's passing because he was so upset about Tristin and Trace that he cried and cried. It is so close to us knowing that our sons faced death, Lorne faced it very closely twice, and I cannot bear to think of what could have happened.

I think about you often and will continue to prayer for you, your DH and your son and your three baby angels in heaven.
Kara
Lorne born at 23 + weeks,
Isaac and Sullivan at 26 weeks

Connect with other preemie parents on the March of Dimes' Share site:
www.shareyourstory.org



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Catw3kittens
Thu Jan-05-06 12:57 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2115 posts


#154909, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 53

Jamielynne:

If you have a top-notch RE, you should be transferring only 2 embryos. You had a lot of the problems that are associated with high-risk triplet pregnancies, and preterm labor is a major problem. By transferring 2 embryos with a good RE, you still risk twins and/or even triplets if one of the embryos split (or even quads, if both split), but the likelihood of more than a singleton is very limited, and the likelihood of more than twins is so limited as to eliminate concern.

I didn't have the kinds of pregnancy problems that you experienced or I would be feeling the precise way that you feel about this. And, I would never allow my doctor to transfer more than 2 embryos in that circumstance. Even transferring 3 embryos does not guarantee that I will become pregnant, so I'm also praying for a healthy pregnancy, all the way around.

Good luck to you and may God bless you.

Fondly,
Cat w/3 Kittens
Caidan, Carina and Caeleigh
born at 31 weeks, 1/8/04.

It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. In memory of Carina, who was greatly loved.

http://lilypie.com> [

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hanerhah
Thu Jan-05-06 02:01 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
926 posts


#154925, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 53

Jamielynne,

I just wanted to tell you that I totally understand you wish for that moment where they place the baby on your chest and he or she never leaves the room. After having the NICU experience with my girls - which was now where near as hard as the one you faced, I was lucky enough to naturally get pregnant with a singleton. The entire pregnancy I looked forward to having that normal birth experience more than anything. I couldn't wait for him to be brought right to me and to have him in my room. BUT, even though he was a whopping 9.2 pounds, he had fluid in his lungs and ended up in the NICU for a week and we had to wait 4 days to even hold him. I was TOTALLY unprepared for this and it just about killed me. I never thought that anything like that could happen with a single baby. I am not telling you this to scare you, just to point out that we can't plan any of this and what God has planned will happen. Just be prepared for anything but at the same time hope and pray for everything you dream of. Good Luck.

And, to Cat, boy you sure can cause some trouble huh? The thing I am confused about is that I don't remember you at any point asking anyone for their opinions on the matter - just thier prayers. Funny how people think that everything they have to say has merit and that we want to hear it. Love ya Cat, prayers are flying from the tutus and the new big man of the house.
Heidi
Lydia - 5lbs, Sasha 5.8lbs and Isabella 5.7lbs
born at 34 weeks 5 days
AND NOW...MARCUS EARL, 9.2lbs!!!!
Lydia, Sasha and Isabella are:
h

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TripleScoop
Wed Jan-04-06 09:49 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
816 posts


#154758, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Jan-04-06 10:02 PM by TripleScoop

Well, in response to everyone. I believe that no matter how much wishing we do, God's Will will be done no matter what! So, if triplets is what she wants and God gives it to her then great! That is God's Will and I certainly am not going to argue with Him!

It is really quiet silly to argue over whether wishing or trying for triplets is good or bad. Heck, we can try all we want, put back 6 embryos and still end up with nothing. God will decide! Not us! For those who do not want to risk triplets and only put back one or two can still end up triplets or more! God will find a way to make it happen. People get pregnant without assistance and end up with triplets! If God intends to send more than one baby there is really nothing we can do to stop it! And, if he intends for only one baby to be born it will not matter how much we wish or try!

So, let her wish. Big deal! It is between her and God. Heck, let anyone wish. It is not like our wishes are science and that our wish will actually cause it to happen!

Why should someone be flamed for wishing? If it happens and her wish comes true then God granted it. If it is not God's Will then her wish will remain only that, a wish. Don't you think God knows the risks? Don't you think God knows what the outcome will be?

Come one! What a silly thing to argue over. A wish. Quiet frankly we can wish for anything we want. Winning the lotto, for the neighbors barking dog to croak, or three babies.


There is one thing in life that we have limited control over. That is pregnancy. We can prevent it, we can end it, we can aid it, but we can not make it happen mearly by wishing or hoping. I wished and hoped for over 6 years for a pregnancy and never got it. Even the doctors could not make it happen.
We have no control over the sex of our children, whether we will have multiples or not, or handicapped children. Yes, there are things we can do to aid it and increase or risk of multiples but I believe that even if we do not increase our risk it will happen anyway if it is God's will.

BBB Triplets Born 2003


http://www.mormon.org
http://www.loveandlogic.com

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tulip
Wed Jan-04-06 10:50 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
4077 posts


#154775, "You're right!"
In response to Reply # 57

I did not flame the other woman on that other thread. I think I was fairly supportive of her, and was quite appalled at the verocity of negativity she was bombarded with. I think I shared with her there (and of course anyone who bothered to read my response) that I wished & hoped & prayed that all three of the embryos we transferred during my IVF/ICSI would stick and become my living, breathing children. I was 40-years old, I had one shot at getting pregnant, and it was my most fervent wish/prayer that all three would make it. I knew it would be a high-risk pregnancy, but I had always longed for three children. I knew this would be the only way.

I don't think I did anything wrong by wishing & praying for all three children. I knew it was all in God's hands, anyway. All I did was lay my hearts desire before the Lord and let him decide if it was in his will to fulfill it. And that he actually listened to me and granted me the most amazing, humbling, fulfilling thing imaginable fills me with such gratitude, I can't even express it. I pray every day to be worthy of the blessing he sent to me.

There's nothing wrong with wanting something like triplets. Naturally I understand perfectly the risks involved, but that doesn't make the "wanting" wrong. I don't think there's anything wrong with Cat wanting triplets again. Just because she wants triplets doesn't mean she's going to get triplets, or that she's actually trying to triplets. It just means that she's open to triplets if God blesses her with them. Just like I was open to triplets if God blessed me with them.

Tulip & The Three Amigos
GBG born at 35w5d on December 31, 2002 - Happy New Year's Eve!!!

YES! You *can* breastfeed triplets!!!

I am a Velveteen Rabbit, and the birth, love, kisses & magic that are my children has made me Real.

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momoftreasures
Thu Jan-05-06 01:19 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
563 posts


#154805, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 57

Amen Sister...

Amy Houle

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TripleScoop
Wed Jan-04-06 10:01 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
816 posts


#154762, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Jan-04-06 10:10 PM by TripleScoop

For those who take the argument that it is selfish and wrong to wish or try for multiples then logic tells me that the argument needs to go one step farther. If wishing or hoping for them is wrong then risking them should be wrong to. What makes it ok to risk multiples and get them? Is it all ok because you did not wish for them? You risked them?
If wishing is wrong then so is risking them. I guess that means that everyone here who got pregnant with triplets by some sort of medical assistance is irresponsible? So, according to the argument all those who had help in obtaining their pregnancies are bad too! Let us take it one step farther. If you even have sex you are risking a multiple birth. So, we are selfish I guess!

Yes this is silly. So is being angry with someone who wishes for it. If you are allowed to risk it then Cat can wish for it.
Oh, and I did not get angry with the person who posted a while ago wanting triplets. Why should she not want what I have? Is our club so elite that we flame others who want to be a part of it? Or flame others who want to do it again?

BBB Triplets Born 2003


http://www.mormon.org
http://www.loveandlogic.com

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busygirltrips
Wed Jan-04-06 10:44 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
285 posts


#154774, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 60

I wasn't going to respond to this thread either but your last post made it impossible not too. Your lack of logic is astounding.

There is a distinct difference between chosing life for your unborn children is spite of the odds and chosing to place yourself at risk and your children at risk by "trying" for multiples. (BTW transferring 3 FET is hardly "trying" -it is very reasonable)

But transferring 5 or 6 or more fresh cycle Blasts would be grossly negligent on both the part of the patient and doctor. The end goal of sex, infertility treatment . . . is a healthy baby ~lets not forget. Yes triplets are a blessing and I wouldn't trade mine for love nor money. That being said I wouldn't want to go through a triplet pregnancy again. 12 weeeks of bedrest, severe preeclampsia, finally in kidney, liver and heart failure to have my children born nearly 12 weeks early and watching them literally fight for their lives.

We were one of the lucky ones. We have three healthy, normal children. There are soooo many who aren't so fortunate. And while I love having triplets, IF I could have saved them from those first few weeks of pain and struggle by having them as singltons than I would do it in a heart beat!!!!!

Cat, best of luck to you for a successful FET our girls were as a result of it. They transferred 4, 2 did not make it and one split!
God works in mysterious ways
Charmagne
Wife to Kevin
Mom to the greatest and busiest girls in the world!

Emily, Madison & Chloe 7/02 @ 28w 2d

url=http://lilypie.com]

http://lilypie.com> http://lilypie.c

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TripleScoop
Thu Jan-05-06 12:04 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
816 posts


#154786, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 62

HE HE HE!
Lighten up! If anyone took that serious I would be concerned! Do you really think that we are all bad people for risking multiples just by having sex? I was using that silly analogy to point out how silly people are for criticizing Cat. And, yes I do feel that it is silly to criticize her.
But, it did get you involved! You fell for it and you just could not resist could you!

BBB Triplets Born 2003


http://www.mormon.org
http://www.loveandlogic.com

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jac
Thu Jan-05-06 10:06 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
282 posts


#154851, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 64

Yes it's all very funny and alot of "Amen" sisters when it is someone in your "group" but when it is a new person looking for support(and being criticized) there really isn't any funny anologies is there?
JAC
Proud Mom to:
Peyton, Brooke & Sydney
7/6/00 35w4d
& Ethan William 5/24/05

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Agapi
Thu Jan-05-06 12:06 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
83 posts


#154787, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

I am a firm believer of God's will and whatever his will for you Cat, may it be done and answer you wishes and prayers in all ways!

With that said, I want to respond to the lady that posted about this being a clicky board/highschool BS type. Thank you for saying what I believe to be the truth and the real reason why there was so much flame on this topic of Cat vs. the other lady that posted and was wanting triplets. It's kind of on the whole topic of this thread. I am a fairly new member and don't post often unless I feel it necessary. I even very rarely post a new post because this baord IS definitely unwelcoming by SOME ladies and very clicky by SOME. Though I did not read the other thread that the lady who was trying and got blasted by many, I can totally see how it played out. I am sure she was blasted and made to feel like an outsider cause she wasn't part of a click on this board.

I never really got involved in boards because I was worried that they were clicky and if you didn't post a lot or know "the right people", very few people respond to your post altogether. When I was trying to conceive I was involved in a great board of ladies and thought, maybe I was wrong, boards can be supportive and fun. Then I graduated from that board cause I conceived and I had triplets at that. With such little time on my hands, I wanted to find a board that meets my needs- triplet families. Here I thought was the perfect board, but I quickly realized that so few on here are willing to give new people a shot and more of you ladies are more closed off and elitist that you want to admit.

I've been feeling this way for a while and my posting has lessening and even my lurking has lessend. I wish this was a board that really was supportive of eachother because we are all in the same boat.

Anyway, good luck to Cat, and even to that other lady who originally posted, sorry that I didn't see your original post, guess it got pulled before I had a chance to see. Who am I to judge people's wishes and desires as long as they are good natured in heart.

Agapi (and if you are wondering, (no one ever was) my username means LOVE in Greek. That's the kimd of heart I try my best to have for everyone.
Agapi

Proud Mommy of
Kaden, Rowen, Kai
BGB 03-22-05

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tripplefun
Thu Jan-05-06 12:17 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
273 posts


#154792, "please do NOT let the select few chase you away"
In response to Reply # 65

My trio just turned 6, this nonsense has been going on for quite some time. A select few have tried to chase me away, but i wasnt so easily ousted, i still post here and do not let anyone bother me. I am not here to impress anyone, i am here for one reason and one reason only.
This board is extremely supportive, its just that some threads get overlooked because of the more popular posters. I myself have 2 part time jobs and 4 kids and a husband and cannot sit here all day reading and posting.
If you want to talk to others with like age groups of your kiddos join the yahoo email age alike group. I recently joined and i cant say enough about it. I have yet to read a post that is negative about anyone in any way shape or form. Everyone is so welcoming and kind. And if you are having a bad day they let you vent and dont flame you for something petty.
It just so sad that some can burn someone and be so cruel to a new member looking for support but when another posts the same exact topic it gets turned around and that person gets tons of support. I just dont get the logic in that.


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boomom
Thu Jan-05-06 09:03 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
513 posts


#154835, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 65

Agapi,
I agree with everything in your response 110%! I have found in my almost 4 years on this board that it can be quite clique` and know of several local HOM's that have been "scared" away and have admitted that they had never felt support on this board, UNLESS you agreed with the "select few". It makes me sad to think that this board is viewed that way, especially because when I first found out that I was expecting three (9 years ago-almost to the date-wow!) I found TC to be of the upmost support. I really, really, really attribute our happy outcome to the legions of information that TC provided our family, it is truly a wonderful organization! And then to hear negative comments about this board from expecting HOM's in my community leaves me with sense of disapointment. I usually make the comment of "just stay away from the website then, but please still subsribe to the expectant packet and newsletter, you will be glad that you did."
I personally do not spend as much time on this board as I used to for that reason, but not that reason alone. Maybe it's because I am ALOT more busier than I ever was when my kids were little or because I am now a Veteran HOM (which, incidentally, it is VERY rare that a flamewar occurs on that forum--I occasionally visit and that forum is extremely supportive). Maybe it is because I have older HOM's and the diapers, formula, schedules are a thing of the past. Maybe (sadly) it's because I really don't feel as if this board is that supportive anymore. I have seen important, triplet related questions that were posted by one person go unanswered than in the next few days, virtually the same question is asked by a more "popular" member get a whole string of answers. Huh? What do you think that tells prospective members? Also, I have been involved in flamewars (admittingly sometimes as the flamer and sometimes as the flame-ee)in which if you tend to disagree with one of the "select few"...run and duck for cover. There is alot of double-standard on this board and it depends on your "status".
That being said, I could never completely stay away from the TC forum--I like checking in and seeing how everyone is doing or looking for expectant HOM's that are local to my area. But it really does not feel like the supportive place it once was, 4 years ago, when you could ask a question, share an opinion and not worry about flames that you may receive if you are not in agreement with the consensus of the "clique".
Cat, again I wish you the best of luck in your pursuit of another pregnancy. I admire your courage to attempt another conception. I personally could not do it again physically, financially, and mentally (even a singleton) but that is just me and my situation. Prayers to you, your kiddos and future kiddos!

Boomom--formerly known as trpsn1
G 11yo
BGG 8yo

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jac
Thu Jan-05-06 10:23 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
282 posts


#154854, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 72

Gina,
You are dead on with that post!!!! I couldn't have said it any better myself.
I have also been around a long time and don't get on as much( w/4 kids and two jobs I don't know where people find the time to post all day)
A couple months ago I made an innocent post about the Photo Forum. I suggested that more people should go over and take a peek at all the beautiful babies. (It was a shame that there was only one or two post for some pics..BUT as soon as someone in the clique posts a pic BOOM there is like 100 posts)Well I was told that there are more important posts on here than just going over to the pic forum. Nice huh? Anywhooo I just wanted to say I agreed w/ you but then it turned into a book. LO
JAC
Proud Mom to:
Peyton, Brooke & Sydney
7/6/00 35w4d
& Ethan William 5/24/05

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boomom
Thu Jan-05-06 12:58 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
513 posts


#154910, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 76

I know, sometimes I feel as if I am still in High School,lol. It really used to upset me, but now, I find it is just plain irritating and I roll my eyes (dang I wish there was an eye-rolling smiley sometimes or a gagging one,lol) especially when a critical post goes unanswered because they are not on the "A" list, KWIM?

Boomom--formerly known as trpsn1
G 11yo
BGG 8yo

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kimba
Thu Jan-05-06 01:21 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
84 posts


#154806, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Jeeeeez Drama!! Cat- Good Luck. I'm impressed by your strength, I don't think I could handle another pregnancy. I hope things work out well.

Kim
Mom to Lily, Jack and Ethan
Born @ 26 weeks on 8/19/05

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Antique_Mom
Thu Jan-05-06 02:06 AM
Member since Jan 05th 2006
1 posts


#154816, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

There are many women out there that would love to have one child. My blessed child, why would you want 3 more little darlings when you have two beautiful children at home? You are one person my dear and those two at home need you .. with each child you have...the thinner you spread yourself and that isn't fair to you or those precious babies.
Your Prayers should be for a healthy baby or babies, not a number. Cherish those children you already have, and thank prior prayers for those two you already have. Again remember, there are many women out there that pray for one baby, count your blessings dear.

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Jbrooke
Thu Jan-05-06 10:40 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
221 posts


#154862, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Hi Cat,
I just wanted to offer yet another vote of confidence and prayers toward you and your beautiful family...
I really feel torn on this board right now. For the past year I've considered you all members of a very distant family, knowing that I could come here and ask questions, get answers, ideas, or just vent if I needed to...But having seen and read what Cat is going through merely for expressing to us her desires for a new pregnancy, it makes me wonder what's really going on out there with my family...We are supposed to be a support group, therefore offering support to our friends. Flaming people, and throwing stones at them seems so horrible. If I was Cat, I'm not sure if I would be able to post here again...I would be scared to death that J or some of the other posters would merely lurk on my posts and mock them...I would feel incredibly judged, and is that what we come here for?? No...We come here because we are all EQUALS. Whether we have conceived our children spontaneously or with a lil' help, whether all of our children survived or we experienced the heartache of loss, we are all parents of multiples...We have all gone through the trials and tribulations of a triplet pregnancy...This is what we've done, as a family...
I feel hurt for Cat and for anyone who gets such harsh and negative feedback, I feel advice and feedback is good...in moderation...We have no right to be hurtful to one another...We're supposed to be in this together. Therefore, like I said earlier, I support Cat and her wishes...We all have wishes, I'd support all of you on them too...
Let's please all try to respect each other.






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azwallace
Thu Jan-05-06 03:12 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
20 posts


#154953, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0

Well, I haven't been coming here long. However, I assume we are all adults. We all have our opinions. If you post here, you are bound to get responses...good and bad. That's the deal in my opinion. You put your thoughts out there for others to read and respond.

I think it should be okay to address concerns in a KIND way. Otherwise, we wouldn't be sounding boards for one another. "Support" doesn't have to be defined by solely affirmative comments.

Cat can chose whether she want to consider ANYONE's comments. I have learned that everyone has an opinion and the one that matters the most to me is mine.

As to whether in is selfish to have multiples at all (by choice or chance), I think most of us (infertile couples) just want a baby. We go through lots of cycles with no results. Of course God is in control. Mine were pure miracles. However, personally, I know that I didn't WANT to have four at one time. It wasn't what was best for me or my children. They were born 2 1/2 months premature and I lots of physical problems. Do I love them? Of course. Could I imagine my life without them? NO! Would I choose to do it again? No. I would be much more conservative (if I could afford financially to be).


Mom to India, William, Sophia, and Johanna

Born October 12, 2005



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Tasha
Thu Jan-05-06 04:09 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
753 posts


#154984, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 88

Oh you hit my issue with ‘support boards’ right on the head. Nothing drives me crazier then when someone posts an opinion disagreeing with another’s and you hear people start complaining “this is supposed to be a support board” Since when did the definition of support change to mean 100% agreement or keep you mouth shut? Sometimes support does mean telling people you disagree with them, even if they didn’t ask.

I have been doing message boards online for 24 year now (man that makes me sound old doesn’t it) and this isn’t something that is exclusive to parenting sites. I have been lucky enough to find one support board for like aged children when my youngest was born that this does not hold true. It is made up of singleton mothers except for myself and a mother of twins. But that is the only board I have ever seen were all the members can speak their mind even when not asked for their opinion without fear of others accusing them of not being supportive. Sometimes you are to emotionally caught up in your own life to realize that you aren’t making the smartest decision and/or are just smoking a crack pipe on some issues. I can’t thank the ladies on that board enough for speaking their mind to me when I went there to vent and ask for support when I was extremely upset because I felt wronged in an argument. Only the responses I got was *I* was being a total ass and *I* was the one that needed to apologize and get over it. They were completely right and I was too rapped up in own feeling to see it. I needed that swift kick in the ass from someone who was far enough removed and brave enough to tell me I was wrong.

Sorry I know this rant didn’t have a lot to do with this tread. Just something that drives me crazy about this board. I can tie it to this tread though so it isn’t a total loss. I don’t know why anyone is complaining that people are expressing their opinion to Cat when she didn’t ask for it or saying it is unsupportive to do so. Cat herself has offered unsolicited advice when she feels it necessary in the past. Cat you have even said sometimes people need to be told what they don’t want to hear right? So let Cat decide if she wants to listen to others opinions or not, she is a big girl. And stop telling people they are unsupportive or to just keep their mouths shut if they have a different opinion on someone’s choices.
Tasha
Julia, Megan and Alex, July 2000 @ 30 weeks and Abby Dec. 2002
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/t/tashajmaa/

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jac
Thu Jan-05-06 04:27 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
282 posts


#154989, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 92

Tasha,
I wish you would post this in another thread so everybody is sure to see it. Thank you for saying what many of us are thinking!~
JAC
Proud Mom to:
Peyton, Brooke & Sydney
7/6/00 35w4d
& Ethan William 5/24/05

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Valerie3
Thu Jan-05-06 03:43 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
105 posts


#154967, "RE: ASKING FOR PRAYERS"
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Jan-05-06 03:43 PM by Valerie3

With all my heart I wish you three more healthy babies, I understand you want to give your children more family to rely on later in life. But what I really wish you is three more babies in three pregnancies.

all the best to you,
Valerie
mom to Elinor, Estée, Alec

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