Monday, May 18, 2009

Sept 17 2008 The "I don't believe in preemies" thread

Subject: "Just found out! Triplets" Previous topic | Next topic

jblischke Wed Sep-17-08 05:05 PM
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#375181, "Just found out! Triplets"




So I just found out that I'm expecting 3 very healthy kiddos. I am completely freaked out. I already have one great 3 year old who will be 4 when the triplets come. My question is this - my doctors seem to be pushing having a reduction. My question to them is exactly which one of these perfectly healthy children do you suggest I kill?

I'm having a moral and emotional crisis!

I ethically don't believe in premature children and having society pay for the birth defects, time in intensive care and so on, but at the same time I am really torn because many people go to 33-36 weeks with no problem and have happy healthy children.

I am a really healthy eater, only organic all produce comes from our local farm, lots of legumes/grains, DHA, absolutely nothing that comes out of a box and has been processed in anyway and I order all grass fed meat directly from farmers. So.... I am hoping that helps.

I feel confident in my parenting skills and my 11 year marriage (my husband is a saint wings halo the whole nine), so I do not have those concerns. My one and only concern is getting these kids to term. That is it. I do NOT want a C-section (I find them boarderline butchery) and would hate to be forced into using formula, because frankly my breast is SO much easier, cleaner and more convinent (for me - not saying for everyone just it's easier for this lazy mom!). I hear many many nurses will not let you even breastfeed your babies for days - NIGHTMARE! Can they even legally do that?

Sigh, ok I'm terrified, and having a lot of angst.

Thoughts? Help? Words of wisdom? Anything?


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Laurene Wed Sep-17-08 05:11 PM
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#375182, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




I'm not sure what you mean that you don't believe in premature children and society having to pay in some way...I know of singletons that are more premature than my trio and being taxpayers those services are a benefit to society...we really have no control and it is no guarantee that they will even need services so try to relax and enjoy this special time.

Congrats! you've found a great network - I hope your able to make your decision and enjoy your pregnancy.

Laurene, Mom to DD27, DD25, DS23, BBG 1/16/05 3 1/2 yrs old


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #2
RE: Just found out! Triplets, love my kids, Sep 17th 2008, #6

Kellil Wed Sep-17-08 05:25 PM
Member since Jan 28th 2007
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#375185, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy.

Second- my triplets were born premature- by about 12 weeks. Everything that could have been done to prevent their early delivery was done, I was at a renowned hospital with great doctors. Very few people choose prematurity so your comment is a little hurtful.

I am glad you are healthy and taking care of your body but that will not guarantee you a term delivery. I hope everything turns out well for you, triplet pregnancies are difficult and scary. Just be aware that things don't always turn out as planned (c-section, immediate breast feeding...) I was an NICU nurse and I was certain my kids would make it to 34 weeks, but I guess God had different plans. Today they are happy and healthy 16 month olds, I can't imagine a day without them!

Good luck.

Kelli
GGB 28.3 weeks 5/3/07


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #7
RE: Just found out! Triplets, LolasLadies, Sep 17th 2008, #9
RE: Just found out! Triplets, albentrip, Sep 17th 2008, #11
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #16

sandsstone Wed Sep-17-08 05:26 PM
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#375187, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




This being triplet connection, you are likely to find that the mom's here tend to be anti-reduction.

I don't think organic would hurt, but it is usually other issues that cause premature delivery.

Except in cases where the infant is unable to tolerate eating or unable to properly BF...no one here has been kept from BF their infants and most were strongly encouraged to try.


You didn't say how far along you are...I would guess 6-8 weeks from the fact that your Dr.s are pushing reduction (usually an RE). Find a good Perinatologist or MFM (maternal fetal medicine) doctor. See what they say before you decide.

And congratulation on the trio!

Susan

Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com


http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message


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albentrip Wed Sep-17-08 05:29 PM
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#375189, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




Congratulations! How far along are you?

One piece of advice is never say never. You seem to have strong opinions about several things but a triplet pregnancy can present some really unusual and life-threatening situations. So while I believe you should stand by your beliefs when you can, try to be open-minded at the same time.

Many of us are also all too familiar with the fact that despite healthy, cautious living, we do not have much control over the outcome and won't know their status until they are here. That includes the possibility of a c-section. There are those who did not need one but there are so many things that can complicate delivery that you and your doctors will need to address that as you get closer to delivery.

As far as I know, society did not pay for my 33 weekers' NICU time (1 month each). My insurance company whom I've been paying premiums to for years did. And if it wasn't them, it would have been me.

Best of luck!


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Mama2five Wed Sep-17-08 05:43 PM
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#375194, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




Ummmm, ok....

98ish% of triplets are born via cesarian section. It's not that terrible. I had 2 easy vaginal natural childbirth expieriences prior to my triplets, and while a c-section with the triplets was not what I wanted...it got my 3 breech babies into the world safely. I have run across women like you. I even had one mom tell me she would rather have not had her baby than have a c-section. @@ I find that to be irrational and sad.

A lot of triplet moms are able to nurse their babies, and you can get some information about that here. I nursed my 2 oldest for 23 months each, but due to maternal illness I was unable to nurse the triplets. The only reason why you would not be allowed to nurse your babies is if they are too premature to suck, swallow, and breathe at the same time.

I totally don't understand what you are saying about prematurity. Don't you have insurance??? Anyway...I am 100% against reduction. I was pretty much told to reduce. I did not, and I made it to term (for triplets term is widely thought of as 35-36 weeks...multiples develop and mature faster than singletons) There are a lot of preemies on this board, and I believe that they all are welcome into the world. I have no problem with the government using our hard earned tax dollars to pay for medcial care for a premature infant. OF ALL the wasteful things that our tax dollars pay for...this certainly is NOT one of them!!!

I came from the AP world into the triplet world. You will soon find that the hardline AP world is not flexible enough for triplets. You have to bend a little and find what works and what does not work. For goodness sake, choosing to reduce because you don't want a c-section is just silly. Prematurity is scary, but this board is full of sucess stories.

Christa, her wonder uterus, and Josh (the daddy) have produced:
Reagan (4/28/04 @ 41 weeks)
Ethan (4/27/05 @ 43 weeks)
Delaney, Addie, and Joel (1/23/08 @ 35.4 weeks)


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #13
RE: Just found out! Triplets, Mama2five, Sep 17th 2008, #17
RE: Just found out! Triplets, Laurene, Sep 17th 2008, #41
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #45
RE: Just found out! Triplets, DebM, Sep 17th 2008, #56

mw Wed Sep-17-08 05:53 PM
Member since Jul 19th 2005
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#375196, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




Are you serious? We all have been shocked at discovering that we are pg with triplets but your post is a first as far as what I've seen.

Prematurity isn't something to believe or not believe in. It either happens or it doesn't. With triplets, there is an excellent chance that they will be born early. I'm not sure why you say society will have to pay for them - do you not have insurance? I'm sure you know that there are many singletons born with birth defects.

Your eating habits, while exemplary, may have little to do with the outcome of your pregnancy. Many, many here were overweight before their pg, many were underweight, many were just as healthy in their eating habits as you are. Many had perfect outcomes with all three babies, some have children with more challenges, some (sadly-myself include) lost a baby along the way.

C/Section - again, are you serious? Yes this is major surgery - but butchery? I didn't want a C/S - didn't have one with my first child - but I DID want my children healthy and that was the safest method of delivery.

Breastfeeding - go for it - my babies had formula early in the hospital and then b'milk only. They could not breastfeed for a couple of weeks because they needed to develop their suck/swallow/breathe skills.

I think you have a lot of research to do. You will not find much support here for selective reduction. In your first paragraph it sounds as though you are completely opposed to this. Tell your doctor and be done with the subject. I'm assuming it is your RE that is pushing for SR as I don't believe there is any research to support that reducing from triplets lessens the risk of the pg at all.

So many of your comments are borderline offensive. I'm assuming you don't mean them to be but it really has the sounds of trying to stir the pot and upset people.

Reality:
1. Odds are your babies will be born early
2. There are things you can do to help prevent severe prematurity
3. Some things are not up to you
4. It is possible to BFeed triplets - even if they cannot nurse immediately after birth
5. It is a scary thing but there are many happy stories here


This site can be a source of unending support but I'd suggest you take a gentler approach. Instead of making absolute statements, try asking some questions.

I'll probably regret jumping into this but I hope that you are genuine, I hope you do some research, and I hope that you have a happy, successful triplet pregnancy.

Marie


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #14
RE: Just found out! Triplets, Mama2five, Sep 17th 2008, #18
RE: Just found out! Triplets, alimae, Sep 18th 2008, #69

scottnik Wed Sep-17-08 05:55 PM
Member since Nov 27th 2007
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#375199, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




You will find that a lot of your current ideas about prematurity, c-sections, breastfeeding, etc. will change. Undoubtedly they will change. Your eyes will open into a whole new world if you choose to continue this pregnancy. Everyone here, I am sure, had previous ideas about multiples, preemies, etc. that have changes since our experiences.

Preemies are viable babies - my were born at 30w5d, which was a great feat considering our complications. No one helped us financially, including the gov't. Also, over 90% of triplets are born via c-section. Mine went along pretty smootly without complicatons. It was the only way my babies could come out safely, as it is with most triplet pregnancies. There is a possibility you won't need one, but keep in mind it is the luck of the draw and statistically you should be prepared for one.

Don't let doctors pressure you into reducing if it is not what you want to do! Here, statistically, the odds are FOR you in that while it is a very high risk pregnancy, most triplets have a great long-term outcome.

Congrats on your pregnancy and remember to keep an open mind. You will find a lot of good advice on this board.

Nik
GBG triplets born 4/2/05
30w5d
www.thebestthingscomein3.blogspot.com


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pyjammy Wed Sep-17-08 06:05 PM
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#375202, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




I won't rehash what's already been said in response to your post, but I will say congratulations and welcome!

Pam
Identical BBB triplets born 12/4/07 at 33w2d
http://pyjammy.wordpress.com


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, Suzan33, Sep 17th 2008, #20
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #32

Triplethefun04 Wed Sep-17-08 06:20 PM
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#375209, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




Wow, welcome to our board.

Are they natural?

Michelle

Tyler 17 1/2 years!!
Steph 15 1/2 years!!
Ayden, Ryley & Dylan 3 1/2 years!!
http://triplethefunplus2.blogspot.com/


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #21
RE: Just found out! Triplets, Mama2five, Sep 17th 2008, #23
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #31
RE: Just found out! Triplets, Triplethefun04, Sep 17th 2008, #33
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #35
RE: Just found out! Triplets, HOWMANY, Sep 17th 2008, #54
RE: Just found out! Triplets, ashleydeeann, Sep 17th 2008, #36
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #46

3petes Wed Sep-17-08 06:33 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
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#375215, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




Well I hope for your beliefs your triplets are full-term, well-nourished, able to suckle right away, and you have them vaginally. Otherwise, how ever would you live up to your own standards AND be a triplet mom.

Maybe TMI for a first post. Gauge your audience first and then things won't be so HARSH, Mean, Spiteful, and REAL. You came to the wrong place to impose your "beliefs" about prematurity.

Again, I hope your unborn children live up to your high standards, or you may just leave them in the hospital and not visit them for months at a time and they will become our next abandoned set of triplets.

GOOD LUCK with your pregnancy.



Jamye

Love my GGG ~


2 years old.....How did that happen?
Born on 08/07/06

http://www.babysites.com/sites/3petes/


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, mommy2gbb, Sep 17th 2008, #24
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #26
RE: Just found out! Triplets, 3petes, Sep 17th 2008, #28
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #34
RE: Just found out! Triplets, 3petes, Sep 17th 2008, #38
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #47
RE: Just found out! Triplets, DebM, Sep 17th 2008, #57
RE: Just found out! Triplets, Tasha, Sep 18th 2008, #73
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 18th 2008, #82

jhp1421 Wed Sep-17-08 06:49 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
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#375227, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




Welcome, we all started out just as scared as you. And as for doctors, each and every one of us has been told to reduce, THEY HAVE TO TELL YOU TO DO THAT because they have to warn you of the incredible risk involved in having triplets. That being said, the next thing my husband asked our doctor was "how many people you tell to reduce actually do it" to which our doctor replied "no one in my experience". I second the idea of research, research, research about triplets, that's all we did. The more you know the more you can relax (just a bit) and properly take care of yourself so that hopefully you will have 3 healthy babies who ideally won't need NICU time, can BF right away and go home with you after you are healed from your cs. Also, I was told by my Peri that cs for triplets is just as much for the Mom as it is for the baby, it's the safest way to deliver multiples and my Peri wouldn't deliver me if I wanted to try a vaginal delivery, he said it's just not really done anymore for the safety of all involved. Once you settle in to this triplet pregnancy and you know more about a multiple birth try to enjoy the pregnancy, it's an amazing experience.

Jennifer
Mom to Ryan, Timmy and Katie
6/26/06 34/5 5#1oz., 5# and 3#10oz.
www.thepetterecbabies.com
http://ourlittlepets.blogspot.com/


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #27
RE: Just found out! Triplets, maggoo, Sep 17th 2008, #30
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #39

NC_tripmom Wed Sep-17-08 06:58 PM
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#375231, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




Way to jump in w/ both feet!

Of course you're terrified, you'd be crazy if you weren't.

Moral crisis: Pretty sure you'd regret aborting one or more of your kids. Doubt for a second you'd regret giving all 3 a chance at life.

Emotional crisis: This is only the beginning!

I doubt anyone here wanted a C-Section but personally I'm more concerned about my kids having the safest arrival they can even if my guts were butchered in the process. It wasn't fun, but sometimes you just have to suck it up.

Breastfeeding - it is possible to breastfeed triplets. You may not be able to nurse them immediately but so what that is why we have breast pumps and so what if you have to supplement. In the grand scheme of things does it really matter?

And for the record, I made it 34 wks and my children are perfectly healthy and they don't receive any gov't support.

Jes
B(GG) 8/04 34 wks
G 7/00


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Jenny1981 Wed Sep-17-08 07:14 PM
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#375243, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




Wow, I think that was the most condescending and offensive introduction I've ever read on this board. Every single sentence you wrote touched a deep nerve with me!

I had preemies.
I had Medicaid.
I used formula.
I had a c-section.
I eat food "out of a box", and meat from (gasp) Wal-mart.
I do not have a saint husband. I don't even have a husband.

I guess that makes me a zit on the face of society in your book. If you are going to be so snooty, go find a different board that will meet up to your standards of perfection.


Jenny
single mom to spontaneous BBB born 12/20/06 at 34w 2d

Lilypie 2nd Birthday Ticker


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, 3petes, Sep 17th 2008, #40
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #43
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #42
RE: Just found out! Triplets, Triplethefun04, Sep 17th 2008, #44
RE: Just found out! Triplets, kylamel, Sep 17th 2008, #48
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #50
RE: Just found out! Triplets, madmolly, Sep 17th 2008, #61
RE: Just found out! Triplets, HOWMANY, Sep 17th 2008, #62
RE: Just found out! Triplets, Jenny1981, Sep 18th 2008, #76
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 18th 2008, #83

HOWMANY Wed Sep-17-08 07:39 PM
Member since Jul 19th 2005
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#375264, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




I will say Congrats and being scared out of your mind is TOTALLY normal. The Dr. Luke book is a great start. I have mine if you would like I will send it to you.

I'm a blunt straight to the point person and don't get offended very easily. But I do have to say reading your post and responses I'm floored and a bit offended.

My kids were micro preemies and I have one that will have life long medical needs and not be able to live on his own and will need care/assistance until the day he dies.

But you know what. Yes life is a bit hard and my family has had to have assistance. But ANYONE who meets him falls in love with him and as all children are a gift from God he just seems even more so!

My DH and I work our @$$ off to provide for our children and PPO insurance. We do get medi-cal for our son who covers the co-pays of our insurance. Mostly medical supplies as most of the doctors we choose to see don't accept medi-cal.

So I apologize that I chose not to remove my DS from life support and let his wonderful little spirit die so he wouldn't be a burden to you or other tax payers.

But you know what?? Based on the dignosis we were given when encourged to remove life support not one bit of it is TRUE!!! He has exceeded EVERYONE's expectations.

As for selective reduction it is not pretty. You have NO CHOICE what baby gets to go. What ever fetus is the closest is the one they shoot up with a cocktail that will stop his/her heart. Pretty brutual if you ask me! I would rather have the c-section.

One more story for you. I had a nurse that helped me with my DS who his wife was PG with triplets and the reduced to twins based on the risks they were told about. The twins are 12 now and he always wondered what the other one would have looked like or been like. Needless to say my son's case was very hard for him to work and had to leave.

I wish every day that I could have held onto my babies longer so they could all be "normal". I wonder how their interactions would be if my son didn't have the medical issues he has.

But I NEVER look at my children as a burden to me or society. You seem like the type that wants popultaion control. Which is fine everyone is entitled. If so why did you have a child to begin with, and then go back to try to have another?


Amy
Wife to Jason(pixelpusher)
Mom to Gwynne, Connor, Chloe 11/03/03
25wks 1day

www.caringbridge.org/visit/connorferris

http://lilypie.com>


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RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #51

rach3312 Wed Sep-17-08 07:43 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
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#375268, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Sep-17-08 07:46 PM by rach3312



First and foremost, congratulations on your pregnancy and welcome to the board!

Trust me, while not everyone was presented with the option of SR, we were all in your shoes at the beginning in one way shape or form. I know that it is very frightening to hear that you are expecting triplets and it is nearly impossible to imagine life with triplets now. But, if you go ahead with the pregnancy and choose not to reduce, I promise that there will come a day when you will not be able to imagine your life without triplets and you will look back on these thoughts and wonder why you ever had them. If you do choose to reduce, than that is your choice as well. But honestly, in a place called The Triplet Connection you are unlikely to find a lot of support for SR.

I do think that the reason you are getting such a large amount of backlash is because your choice of words was poor. Having a preemie is not something you choose to ethically believe or not believe in; it just happens. Ethics play no role in premature birth, although it could play a role in treatment after birth I suppose. Regardless, it happens for a variety of reasons, and not just because of the increased use of fertility treatments and the higher instances of multiples. The March of Dimes is a wonderful organization dedicated to ending prematurity, you should check it out.

I took care of myself, ate healthy, drank plenty of water, followed my Dr's orders, went on bedrest and yet, my triplets were born at 29 weeks, 2 days via emergency c-section. The girls had a condition called Twin to Twin Transfusion which occurs in about 5-10% of all identical twins and delivery was necessary for their survival. They spent 38, 41 & 45 days in the NICU. The cost was covered mostly by my insurance and my HSA account, some of it we paid for out of pocket. I wasn't able to hold them for the 1st few days (one of my girls for almost 2 weeks) and they definitely were not capable of breastfeeding. But, once the babies reached their original due date, I breastfed (and gave them bottles of expressed breast milk) exclusively for 6 months. Then I continued to nurse them once a day and the rest of their feedings were from bottles with at first 2/3 breast milk, 1/3 formula, and more recently 1/2 and 1/2, until they were 1 year adjusted. Which was just last week. Making bottles is time consuming and difficult, but so is breastfeeding (and pumping for) triplets. Don't underestimate the work involved. I have an older daughter and it is NOT the same thing. Not even close to as easy.

I really hope that you do a lot of research and make sure that you are making an informed choice based on facts and not one out of fear. Yes, having triplets is overwhelming. Yes, having preemies is frightening. But, I have both and I am standing here today to write and tell you it is far better than I could have ever imagined. These triplets are my children. And I love them just as much as I love my full-term, vaginal birth, exclusively breastfed singleton.

Rachael
http://schiranotriplets.blogspot.com/
James, Ella & Cameron 7/8/07 29.2
Lydia 2/3/96

we are 1!!!
<>


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 17th 2008, #53

DebM Wed Sep-17-08 07:59 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
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#375282, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




Congratulations!

Doctors should not "push" reduction. My doctor simply asked me if I was going to reduce. I said no and he never mentioned it again.

As far as society paying for preemies, not so in my case. I'm paying 100% of their hospital NICU stay. And if one of my babies had a long term health issue and was given SS benefits, I would thankfully accept it. That is what SS money should be used for. I made it to 34 weeks and did just fine.

C-sections are safer for triplets. Yes, there may be a small few that have their triplets vaginally, but I wouldn't push this if I were you. The best thing to do is do what is best for the babies.

And you shouldn't be forced into using formula. You may have to use formula at some point. I pumped and gave BM to the NICU nurses, but they had to also use formula to keep up with their needs. If the NICU will not let you breastfeed for a few days, it's because it uses up too much energy. Preemies need to gain weight as fast as possible. That's what is best for them. You can breastfeed all you want when the babies are strong enough for it.

Take a deep breath and enjoy this miracle. Best of luck.


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julie123 Wed Sep-17-08 08:46 PM
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#375302, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




I had a rather uneventful pregnancy (up until the last 2 weeks)and breastfed my triplets for 6 months (combo of breast and pumping because I had to go back to work after 6 weeks). It is all do-able.

Our Journey, a year of firsts:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fYELsPa3Wc

Julie wife to Mark and mom to

Tristan Declan 4lbs 3oz Cassandra Madison 4lbs 7oz
Ryland Markus 4lbs 2oz
Born on 9/5/06 at 32 weeks 4 days
www.our3.blogspot.com


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Astrid Wed Sep-17-08 09:33 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
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#375316, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




You know, once upon a time I didn't believe in IVF. I thought that it was "playing God". I never thought in a MILLION YEARS that I would have to succomb to it in order to be a mother. My point is that your opinion over preemies, BFing, formula, etc. will likely change in the coming months. I think it is ok to be opinionated & have your beliefs BUT like you said, having an open mind is also very important b/c your life is about to change drastically.

For instance, it isn't only your diet that will get you far in this pregnancy, it is your attitude, your support system & your ability to reduce your activity level as much as possible as soon as possible. Don't make the same mistake I did. I am a complete "Type A" personality & didn't heed my peri's warning. I climbed in to the attic at 18w 2d along to get Christmas ornaments in a big sterilite box & ended up on strict bed rest the next day w/ an emergency cerclage placed in the day after that. 16 weeks of bed rest...it sucked!

I was also terrified of a c-section & not b/c I had already experienced a vaginal delivery b/c this was my 2nd pgcy but 1st one to make it that far. I hated the idea of getting an epidural or spinal & then have my abs cut in to. VERY SCARY! Very painful also! Chances are that you will end up w/ a c-section in order for you to deliver your babies & the thought of putting them in any danger b/c you believe it is a butchering procedure is going to be THE LAST thought in your head. Trust me, all you will be thinking about is the health of your babies.

As for BFing...as much as I wanted to from the get go, I was not able to. First, I had never done it before so I had to learn. Second, I was not allowed to b/c it would wear the babies out & they would burn more calories than what they would intake SOOOO that when we were finally given the go ahead a few days after their birth, we were only allowed to do it once a day. Third, their little mouths had a hard time getting around my nipple so we had to use a nipple shield. Forth, I was not able to be in the NICU at every feeding so they either got pumped milk or formula. Fifth, I was not producing the total amount for all 3 babies so they had to be supplemented. Sixth, they needed extra calories to help gain weight so high calorie formula was a necessity. Um, I think that covers it. So, although you may want to BF to your hearts content doesn't mean that it is going to work out that way.

I have to tell you the positive to the above paragraph about BFing...my kids are 5.5 mths old (25 wks) & they all BF which takes FOR EVER so I prefer to pump for 1-2 of them & then BF the other 1 or 2. It is a great experience & quite the personal achievement. It also came in very handy w/ Hurricane Ike b/c we just got our electricity back late last night so pumping was not easy & convenient. Thank God for little favors.

The best piece of advice I can give you is to let go all your preconceived notions about c-sections, BFing, prematurity, etc. You need to concentrate on staying healthy & strong b/c of all your pgcies, THIS is going to be the most challenging of them all. It is going to test your faith, patience, & understanding of the world around you.

I hope that you carry the babies as long as you can. I made it a few hrs shy of 34 weeks & my babies were only in the NICU for 10, 10, & 14 days. Not too shabby for babies that came 6 wks early. They are all perfectly healthy & we do not need any government assistance.

I hope you decide to stick around. This can be a great community, just remember all of us have technically given birth to preemies, some w/ disabilities, others w/o any BUT we all love our children more than anything in the world.



www.survivingtriplets.blogspot.com


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Crystal Wed Sep-17-08 09:58 PM
Member since May 27th 2008
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#375327, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




I'm almost 24 weeks pregnant with trips right now and my best advice to you is to take a breath and just trust that everything will work out. Let nature take its course. If you don't want to reduce, then don't. Reduction poses risks to all 3 babies and you're right...which one do you choose? A triplet pregnancy is rough, but it's completely doable.

As for prematurity, I think I have only heard of one person to date who delivered at 37 weeks. Average is 32/33 weeks. You can fully expect to deliver these babies early...and you should fully expect a c-section. If you want a vaginal delivery, find a doctor who is open to your having one, but don't bank on it. Just see how things go...see how the babies are positioned. Nobody wants to be sliced open, but 3 healthy babies are more important than any vaginal delivery.

Again, I would just say that if you plan to carry these babies as long as possible, you should be open to completely giving up on some of your wishes and beliefs...and even eating habits. Many triplet moms have spent months on bedrest in the hospital. Unless your hubby prepares every meal for you, I don't know how you're going to stick to your organic diet. Since becoming pregnant, I eat lots of stuff out of boxes and lots of sugary sweets because it's what my body is craving. I also eat lots of veggies and stuff, but my point is that I'm eating a lot of crap food that I normally wouldn't touch on a daily basis. So stick to your diet as much as you can handle, but if it stops working for you while you're pregnant with 3 babies, be flexible. Overall, just do what you can to relax your mind and body and just accept that everything will work out as it's supposed to. This is not a time when you can afford to feel stressed out. This is a time to go with the flow and trust your body. The only thing you should stress about is making sure you have the perfect doctor who can guide you through this process.

Good luck with your pregnancy and I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible!!!


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madmolly Wed Sep-17-08 11:21 PM
Member since Oct 07th 2005
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#375341, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




Here's the thing:
On a triplet board, you will find mother's who choose not to reduce.
On a triplet board, you will find mother's who delivered premature babies.
On a triplet board, you will find mother's who have healthy babies born just after minimal viability and mother’s of special needs babies born later than 34 weeks.
On a triplet board, you will find mother's of children delivered under fantastically imperfect conditions.
On a triplet board, you will find mother's who will endure tremendous pain and overcome impossible obstacles just to bring their premature children into this world.
On a triplet board, you will find mother's who have been so damned sleep deprived that they will mix coffee grounds with Monsters drinks, just to keep their heavy eyelids open.
On a triplet board, you will find families who pay their own way, families in need, and families drowning in medical debt that will follow them, not society, for the rest of their lives.
On a triplet board, you will find families who don't give a rat’s behind about how much it cost, who paid for it, and what bills will haunt them for the rest of their lives, as long as they get to take their babies home.

For future reference:
On this triplet board, you will find miracle babies who fought along side their strong, determined parents for that chance at life inspite of an extremely premature delivery.
On this triplet board, you will find parents who are forever grateful for the medical advancements which allowed the doctors to fight for their premature babies.
On this triplet board, you will find moms and dads in various types of relationships, in various economic situations, with various conception methods, and various perspectives on life.
On this triplet board, you will get burned at the stake for using the word "Natural."
On this triplet board, your candor and humor will be understood by some and rebuffed by others.
On this triplet board, you will find many, many moms willing to engage in a battle of whit.
On this triplet board, you will be chewed up and spit out soggy if you tread harshly on the trials and tribulations of a triplet pregnancy or in the raising of multiples when you have not endured either.

Oh and (yes, the horse is dead and I just gotta kick it one last time) I have hundreds of thousands of dollars of medical debt hanging over my head from the delivery my 28 weekers. I don't have perfectly healthy children. My kids didn't fair as well as I would have hoped at the beginning of my pregnancy. They will have long term concerns. I will continue to struggle to pay for therapy, intervention, and medication on my own. Tonight, I will crawl into bed and cry over the poor news I received today regarding my son. Tomorrow, I will hug him and kiss him and see him for the amazing treasure that he is. And tomorrow night, I will sleep better than tonight, grateful that he is my son and thankful that I have him here to love. My point? Perspectives change when faced with reality.

That said, congratulations and welcome aboard.

Lea

BGG 28.3 weekers

http://mccarthymayhem.blogspot.com/


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, Astrid, Sep 18th 2008, #68
RE: Just found out! Triplets, fof, Sep 18th 2008, #81

hardentriplets Wed Sep-17-08 11:29 PM
Member since Feb 28th 2008
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#375343, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




I guess since your straight foward and blunt I will be as well. Your post literally made my mouth drop. I understand everyone has the right to their own opinion but yours I'm sorry I do not understand. I am a VERY open minded person but your post has hit many nerves with me and as we've seen in other replys other moms. We are all in the beginning in shock but the thoughts that have crossed your mind makes me wonder, lets say your pg doesn't go as planned, lets say you do (god forbid) delievery very very early, lets say one of you children has difficulties. How are going to handle these situations with the way you think. What do you mean you don't believe in prematurity? That doesn't even make sense, do you think any of us on here BELIEVED in it!?! Do you think I wanted to deliever a 2.9lb baby and have him go through 2 surgeries and 3 hospitals before coming home? And our insurance and US (DH & I) paid for his bills nobody else! NO baby is a burden to society just because their born premature. What world do you live in that every baby is born full-term and with no health problems? And that's great you take care of yourself but so did I and I came down with pre-eclampsia and ended up in the hospital for 32 days. Bottom line, do whatever it takes but know that things WILL happen that sometimes you have absoulutly no control over. C-section is not butchery! It is a safe way to delievery a baby, espically when delievering multiples. Why would you rather risk the safety of not only your babies but you? And I also found the formula response very imature. Your worried about not BFing your babies for days yet some of us didn't even get to hold them for days! You do realize that more than likely they will have to add calories to your milk? Not everyone is able to do so and I'm sure you have not only offened me but others on here who wanted to desperatly do so. Did I want to BF for more than 4 weeks, YES. But I had two at home one being transfered from hospital to hospital and dealing with yet another surgery that it took a toll on my body and my milk production. You need to start reading and educating yourself because you clearly have no idea what your up againist. It IS doable but it takes a lot of strength and courage to do so and I praise all these fellow mommy's on here. No one but ourselves know what it's like and there is amazing advice on here if you choose to take it. But my best advice is to think before you write!

*MAGGIE*
Proud Momma X 3!!!
-Brody Paul 3lbs 10oz
-Logan Dean 4lbs
-Seth Franklin 2lbs 9oz

http://hardentriplets.blogspot.com/


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Phxlulu Thu Sep-18-08 12:31 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
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#375353, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




>So I just found out that I'm expecting 3 very healthy kiddos.
> I am completely freaked out. I already have one great 3 year
>old who will be 4 when the triplets come. My question is this
>- my doctors seem to be pushing having a reduction. My
>question to them is exactly which one of these perfectly
>healthy children do you suggest I kill?
>
>I'm having a moral and emotional crisis!
>
>I ethically don't believe in premature children and having
>society pay for the birth defects, time in intensive care and
>so on, but at the same time I am really torn because many
>people go to 33-36 weeks with no problem and have happy
>healthy children.
>
>I am a really healthy eater, only organic all produce comes
>from our local farm, lots of legumes/grains, DHA, absolutely
>nothing that comes out of a box and has been processed in
>anyway and I order all grass fed meat directly from farmers.
>So.... I am hoping that helps.
>
>I feel confident in my parenting skills and my 11 year
>marriage (my husband is a saint wings halo the whole nine), so
>I do not have those concerns. My one and only concern is
>getting these kids to term. That is it. I do NOT want a
>C-section (I find them boarderline butchery) and would hate to
>be forced into using formula, because frankly my breast is SO
>much easier, cleaner and more convinent (for me - not saying
>for everyone just it's easier for this lazy mom!). I hear
>many many nurses will not let you even breastfeed your babies
>for days - NIGHTMARE! Can they even legally do that?
>
>Sigh, ok I'm terrified, and having a lot of angst.
>
>Thoughts? Help? Words of wisdom? Anything?


WOW! I havent been on TC in sometime & today I decided to read. I have not read through the PP's responses but I am pretty sure this thread pissed a few off. First of all everyone is entitled to their own opinions which obviously you got one.

I have a question for you. If this is something you feel so strongly about why would you put in more than 1 embryo? If you don't want your children to be a burden on society as you said, why take that chance? I'm sure someone has already answered the ? for you about selective reduction but just in case they did not you don't get to pick its which ever baby is closest. I am 5' 1" 110lbs when I got pg with my triplets. I was scared to death at how my body would be able to carry these babies. Surprisingly I had zero problems with my pregnancy. I went on bedrest at 20 weeks & at 32 1/2 was admitted to the hospital for mild pre-eclampsia. I had my triplets at 34 weeks & delivered via c-section because that is the safest way to deliver triplets. My uterus was so stretched past its capacity that they had to take it out lay it on my stomach & watch it to make sure it was going to be able to contract itself back down. Having multiples is NOT an easy task. Its sorta like playing roulette you never know what is going to happen. You mentioned that you are extremely health conscious I have news for you it means NOTHING when pregnant with multiples. Your uterus can be fine one day & decide the next that its not going to cooperate. My 34 weekers (full term for triplets) 4+ lbs each all still spent time in the NICU. My girls were in for 10 days & my son 1 month. My son actually contracted a horrible staph infection while in there. You see, there is no predicting the future with multiples you are either in 100% & know that anything can happen & that you & your DH can handle it. Oh & BTW I have a DH who is perfect as well (halo, wings the whole 9 yards) & having three healthy children with ZERO setbacks non with any major complications & we still have had trying moments in our relationship since the children came. Your standards seem a bit high & I really hope your pregnancy can live up to it. Happy cooking!


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, Jessicaplus3, Sep 18th 2008, #66
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 18th 2008, #87
RE: Just found out! Triplets, Mama2five, Sep 18th 2008, #99

meshell Thu Sep-18-08 01:06 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
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#375357, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




Even if you have premature babies with no long term problems, there can be other issues. My son Aaron was born with a rare liver disease and it affects us everyday. Don't think that your parenting skills, 11 year marriage to a saint and eating healthy will protect you from everything. There are more important things to worry about than having a c-section and if you can breastfeed your babies because it is cleaner and more convenient.


Michelle
mom to Marjorie 3/22/93
Evan 3/9/95
Paige, Leah, Aaron & Avery 4/30/05 @ 31 weeks
www.milliganquads.com
www.milliganquads.blogspot.com

http://lilypie.com>


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kristim81 Thu Sep-18-08 02:29 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
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#375382, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




Wow. I cannot believe the words that you have just written.

"I ethically do not believe in premature children."

Are you serious???

I am sitting here, tears rolling down my face, wondering why on earth someone would come to a triplet board- a board where you KNOW there are going to be moms of premature babies- and make a statement like this.

Let me tell you a little something. And this comes from a mother 3 premature babies. Micro-preemies actually. Before you EVER make a statement like that again, read this.


You have not delivered premature babies.

You have not sat by their isolettes and watch them struggle to breathe.

You have not held a 1 1/2 lb. baby in your arms.

You have not cried to the point of exhaustion over the fact that you were not able to keep your precious babies in longer.

You have not felt the guilt of a mother of premature babies.

You have not walked next to your babies isolettes as they wheeled them down to the OR for yet another surgery.

You have never had a neonatologist come to your hospital room, mere hours after your babies were born, and have him tell you that he was sorry, that there was nothing else he could do.

You have not had a doctor tell you that your baby's brain is bleeding and they're not sure how it will effect him down the road.

You have not had your baby hooked up to a brain wave monitor, because after 3 days, he had not woken up.

You have not sat next to your baby, and watched him turn blue before your eyes, and have to leave the room while they try and revive him.

You have not gone to bed at night and wondered if you would receive a phone call in the middle of the night telling you that your baby had died.

You have not watched a nurse try to put an IV in your preemie baby. And discover that IV's do not last long in these tiny babies... And count the bruises all over their little bodies of all of the places that they have had IV'S put in the last few days.

You've never watched your baby cry out in pain, but not be able to hear her cries because she is on a ventilator.

You have not had a doctor tell you that your 24oz. baby girl has a terrible infection that has a 25% mortality rate.

You have not wept for hours on end because you lived an hour and a half from the hospital. The place that would become your babies home for the next 15 weeks.

You have not had your 3 1/2 year old daughter ask you, "Mommy, why are you and Daddy crying?" after the hospital called you with bad news.

You have not felt torn to have one baby at home, and two babies in the hospital an hour and a half away.

You have not felt guilty because due to the fact that you have PCOS, that at 12 weeks, you are no longer able to produce breast milk for your premature babies who so desperately need it.

You have not spent HUNDREDS of hours on the phone with insurance companies who automatically deny EVERYTHING.




You have not experienced any of these things.

So how DARE you come on here and say the things that you said.


Prematurity is not a CHOICE. It is not something that we as mothers CHOOSE. Our babies were not born early because we didn't eat enough, ate the wrong types of foods, or ANY of these reasons.

I would have gone to Hell and back to keep my babies in longer.


And the part about "having society pay for their birth defects". Have you been watching the news today??? Did you happen to see what the good old US spent $85 BILLION dollars on???

Shame on you for coming here and saying the things that you said. I will not sugar coat my response for you. You may have not written this post to me personally, but it sure felt like it.

I hope for your babies sake that you have a long, healthy pregnancy.

Kristi
BBG April 9, 2007
26 weekers- Elijah, Joey and Rowan
Big sister Kadence 4 years old
http://www.krististrio.blogspot.com


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, LolasLadies, Sep 18th 2008, #72
RE: Just found out! Triplets, Kealoha12, Sep 18th 2008, #77
RE: Just found out! Triplets, franjipani, Sep 18th 2008, #79
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 18th 2008, #84
RE: Just found out! Triplets, LolasLadies, Sep 18th 2008, #85
RE: Just found out! Triplets, sarahbee1983, Sep 18th 2008, #86
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 18th 2008, #88
RE: Just found out! Triplets, rach3312, Sep 18th 2008, #93
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 18th 2008, #97
RE: Just found out! Triplets, stephkessler, Sep 18th 2008, #96
RE: Just found out! Triplets, LolasLadies, Sep 18th 2008, #98
RE: Just found out! Triplets, rach3312, Sep 18th 2008, #89
RE: Just found out! Triplets, love my kids, Sep 18th 2008, #91
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 18th 2008, #100
RE: Just found out! Triplets, rach3312, Sep 18th 2008, #106
RE: Just found out! Triplets, Mama2five, Sep 18th 2008, #101
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 18th 2008, #108
RE: Just found out! Triplets, Mama2five, Sep 18th 2008, #111
RE: Just found out! Triplets, stephkessler, Sep 18th 2008, #114
RE: Just found out! Triplets, HOWMANY, Sep 18th 2008, #124
RE: Just found out! Triplets, moochie, Sep 18th 2008, #128
RE: Just found out! Triplets, lovemy5boys, Sep 18th 2008, #
RE: Just found out! Triplets, love my kids, Sep 18th 2008, #117
RE: Just found out! Triplets, lovemy5boys, Sep 18th 2008, #122
RE: Just found out! Triplets, love my kids, Sep 18th 2008, #126
RE: Just found out! Triplets, sarahandrich, Sep 18th 2008, #
RE: Just found out! Triplets, NC_tripmom, Sep 18th 2008, #120

Katzyton Thu Sep-18-08 02:54 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
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#375384, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




I also appreciate direct and honest opinions. So here is one. I think there will be many beautiful, hilarious, rewarding and amazing moments in your future that will make you look back at what you said here and feel like a giant idiot.

BBB - born March 19, 2007 33w6d
Isaiah - 4lb. 14oz.
Eli - 6lb. 12oz.
Luka - 5lb. 4oz.

Georgia - Dec 2002


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Terjee Thu Sep-18-08 03:13 AM
Member since Feb 04th 2008
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#375392, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Sep-18-08 03:24 AM by Terjee



The nurses in my NICU all had their own opinions about breastfeeding. I wish I had know this before so that I could have been a little stronger with my own beliefs. Looking back on it, I would have called in the Lactation Consultant a lot earlier. She was my greatest advocate in there. She had learned a few things in her 20 years or so of advising breastfeeding preemie moms. I think the thing to realize is that the nurses really want your babies to go home as soon as possible. Sometimes that means balancing the gavage and breast for a few days or weeks or longer.
DO the best that you can for your babies, sounds like you are already taking the right path and then expect that nothing will go according to your plan but hopefully it comes close. I definitely had my ideas turned upside down.

mom to GGG born 3-13-08 at 33 weeks
Eleanor Love 4.2
Thea Rose 4
Shay Mari 3.6
and
Xander 4 years old


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foreveramom Thu Sep-18-08 03:14 AM
Member since Jan 30th 2006
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#375394, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




Once upon a time...

I gave birth to 40 weekers - they were robust take home babies. Doc said they were healthy because I found the perfect balance of healthy proteins, organic grains and fresh fruits and veggies.

I gave birth to them vaginally. Doc said I was able to because a female body was made for it. Not enough docs have faith in the female body.

Oh, did I mention that I gave birth at home? I did. I weighed what I had paid in for my insurance - only $300.00 a month to BCBS over the course of 5 years and realized that there was no way that BCBS was ever going to recover the cost of a triplet vag delivery (just in case my trio struggled afterward) if I had had them in a hospital.

I nursed them until they began to walk and before they hit the age of 2, they were reading complete sentences.

And then I woke up. What a dream I had!!!

Seriously. I did the best I could. 34 weekers - room breathers. But the still spent 2 weeks in the NICU. I eat organic and (OMG, don't laugh) I eat organic from a box, too! I breastfed and I formula fed (but does it count that we didn't qualify for WIC and instead had to buy our formula?). I had a c-section. And I didn't practice attachment parenting (but that's another chapter for further along in your story, huh?). Anyway, I have the coolest three-year-old cluster of madness ever and...

...we lived happily ever after. Incidentally, my happily-ever-after happened exactly how it was supposed to -- just not in the fairy tale way that everyone imagines in the beginning.



You

Mom of: Kristi(22), Kevin(19), Kelli(17), Angus(5) and GGB - Ruca, Nadia and Max (3) Born 10-14-04 at 34 weeks.
www.angusandthetriplets.com
also www.angusandthetriplets.blogspot.com


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 18th 2008, #94

dconnol2 Thu Sep-18-08 03:54 AM
Member since Dec 09th 2007
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#375409, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




I remember being where you are... after we found out that we were pregnant with triplets(pretty early on, 7 or 8 weeks), our RE told us that selective reduction "was medically recommended". He was strongly suggesting it.

For about a week, my wife and I completely freaked out. We never, ever, ever, ever, ever thought we would consider SR. But here's this dr. telling us that it's "medically recommended". We googled triplet pregnancies, and found a lot of terrifying statistics. Plus, we read an article in the NY Times about a woman who delivered triplets at 26 weeks and all the problems she ran into leading up to that... it was terrifying.

After a few days of driving ourselves crazy focusing on all the things that could go wrong in a triplet pregnancy, we realized that there was no way we could ever reduce. We focused on what we could do to help improve the outcomes - recognizing that it wasn't all under our control... but we could at least do the best job possible of the things that were under our control.

The funny thing is - at about 12 weeks pregnant, we saw the MFM specialist for the first time. She was actually the department head - our RE's boss. She said that she did not recommend selective reduction for triplets; there was no conclusive evidence that it improved outcomes.

Things you have going for you:
-You've already had one kid. Things have already stretched out once. Triplet moms who have had at least one kid previously deliver their triplets on average a week later than first-time moms. Also, if you had a severe incompetent cervix or something like that, it probably would've showed up in your first pregnancy.
-You eat healthy. You obviously are concerned about how to eat well, and that will serve you well... but now you will likely need to learn to eat a LOT more - you'll be eating for four.

I very highly recommend Dr. Barbara Luke's book, "When you're expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads." My wife read it and lived by it. I don't know if it was following that book, or just genetics, but something worked - she gave birth to about 15 lbs. of triplets.

The last thing I'll leave you with is that having triplets will change you. I think my wife and I likely would've been fairly obsessive parents - ensuring that everything was done the 100% optimal way, reading a million books on parenting... but that's completely impossible with triplets. Unless you have a ton of help, life with triplets involves compromises. One likely compromise is that you'll probably have a c-section. Another possible compromise is that your body may not be physically able to produce enough milk for three babies. There are some women who can, and some who can't.

And then there's just the everyday stuff.. for example, optimally you would hold each baby while you feed them, and feed them one at a time so that they get your complete attention. But that could take up your whole day - you may end up not being able to do anything else with them... if you compromise on feeding and prop bottles and feed all three at one time, you're totally breaking that parenting "best practice" - but then you have time to spend with them doing other important developmental things like playing with them, tummy time, taking them out into the world to see new things, etc.

Best of luck with your pregnancy - I've found this board to be incredibly helpful, hope you do too.

-Dan

Dad to GGB triplets
Rebecca Grace 5lb 1oz
Katherine Anne 5lb 1oz
Brendan Walter 4lb 12oz
Born 12/21/2007 at 33w 1d


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 18th 2008, #90
RE: Just found out! Triplets, HOWMANY, Sep 18th 2008, #131

kndaigle Thu Sep-18-08 05:34 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
170 posts Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
#375432, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




OK, well I found it. The post I was looking for to figure out what you guys were talking about in another post.

WELL, where do I start? I did not read all the other posts. Hope I am not too repetitive, but I am shocked after reading your post! If you had researched before posting then maybe the replies wouldn't be so harsh. Prematurity can happen in any pregnancy! C-sections happen with so many SINGLETON PREGNANCIES. What makes you think that reducing will take away this risk? That does not mean that you will have a vaginal delivery. I never wanted a section, let alone the scar and stretchmarks, but that is so not important. Being a mother is and having a safe delivery. Call me crazy, but isn't that what everyone wants? Anyway if I would have had twins, my outcome would probably have been the same. I had no choice or control in this pregnancy and you wont either! Diet does not influence many of the issues that cause preterm deliveries. Also, you do not PICK. Obviously you did not reseach anything before posting this. Reduction of which fetus is done by the highest one up in the uterus, or if there are any anomalies, then that fetuse would be selected. If I can remember correctly 95% of the time all are healthy and the most superior fetus is selected because it is the easiest to get to. Also, statistically the risks of reducing a triplet pregnancy are worse then continuing with the pregnancy. One more thing, what is so terrible about formula? Not everyone has a great supply. I was literally knocking myself out to the point of exhaustion with the pumping but still did not have enough. Many PCOS women have this problem. My babies are on formula and are doing just fine. Lots of babies are on formula, so sorry if you think that it is not good enough for yours. You know also lots of preemies can't breastfeed at first. Some are too small or too early that they don't have the coordination to suck, swallow, and breathe at the same time and have to be tube fed. The nurses always encourage breastfeeding when appropriate, but in the meanwhile you pump because it is the best thing for preemies. I don't know where you are "hearing" things from, but you do not have a reliable source. I am sad that you are so closeminded about everything. I do think that your opinions will definitely change when you realize that you aren't in control anymore.

Well welcome and congrats on your pregnancy! It is a truly amazing experience no matter the difficulties.

GGB born 10-13-07 @ 30 weeks
Addison 3.4lbs
Aiden 3.6 lbs
Averie 1.9lbs

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 18th 2008, #92

scottnik Thu Sep-18-08 04:42 PM
Member since Nov 27th 2007
199 posts Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to add this author to your buddy list
#375522, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




My daughter was intubated (the only one to do so) at 10 days old due to septic shock. Where do you draw the line? She was born after your arbitrary line of 29 weeks, but then developed an infection. Would you let her go instead of intubating her? What about if she were, say 1 month old? One year old? Where is that line drawn? Any line is arbitrary and your blunt generalizations are naive. Every child is different and every situation is different.

Once again, I am just going to tell you that your eyes will open like never before over the next several months. You will learn a great deal on this road ahead. Be prepared for the shock of your life!

Nik
GBG triplets born 4/2/05
30w5d
www.thebestthingscomein3.blogspot.com


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 18th 2008, #102

Triplethefun04 Thu Sep-18-08 04:54 PM
Member since Jul 19th 2005
760 posts Click to send private message to this authorClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
#375531, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




WOW, I think you have definitely crossed my line now. I was nice to you yesterday, but REALLY?? You have got to be a faker and just here to stir the pot.

You say you're from California, but you show up on my blog as coming from Denver, Colorado. So what gives? Are you for real or not? Cuz if you ain't - get the hell out of our villiage. If you are for real - then start reading some books and posts about premature children born around 29 weeks. Seriously you just want to give up on your child? You don't even want to fight for your child? Brain bleeds have levels of severity. Sometimes a surgery is necessary, but there isn't lifelong pain to that child, if the surgery fixes it. What if you say no to surgery and then that child of yours survives the prematurity you are so against and then has to live with pain, because you couldn't bear the thought of putting that premature child through a surgery that would have spared it that pain. But now it's too late to help that premature child? Now what? You have just caused your child pain unneccessarily.

My child was born at 33 weeks, 2 days, considered full-term in the triplet world. He had to be intubated immediately at birth. So should I have "let him go"??? Not on your life would I not give my child a fighting chance!! I don't care if it was on your dime. I pay insurance and that's what it's for! I'm not going to let my child die to save a dime.

Like someone else asked you, if your child developed cancer, would you do nothing to save your child?

Rethink your priorities. You supposedly have a child now, would you do nothing to save that child's life? I'm sure you would do everything possible, at least that's what I hope.

Michelle

Tyler 17 1/2 years!!
Steph 15 1/2 years!!
Ayden, Ryley & Dylan 3 1/2 years!!
http://triplethefunplus2.blogspot.com/


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albentrip Thu Sep-18-08 04:56 PM
Member since Jul 19th 2005
306 posts Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to add this author to your buddy list
#375533, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Sep-18-08 04:59 PM by albentrip



You obviously know that you are offending people and are doing so repeatedly and on purpose.

You say you are not a fighter yet you are fighting with anyone who opposes your outlandish (there I've said it) views. You are creating your own stress.

In your original post you said you could not "kill" one of your babies via selective reduction yet you go on in other posts to say that you would kill a child born prior to 29 weeks (why not before 32 or 40?). WTF?

I'm sorry you did not slink off. You are either a faker or a cruel person. I prefer to think you are the former.

You don't deserve any support from the caring members of this forum. I suggest future posts by jblischke be ignored.


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3petes Thu Sep-18-08 04:57 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1124 posts Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to add this author to your buddy list
#375535, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




Get over yourself FAKER and get the hell off this board.

You are a selfish peice of crap and we can't help you here so get going.





Jamye

Love my GGG ~


2 years old.....How did that happen?
Born on 08/07/06

http://www.babysites.com/sites/3petes/


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, stephkessler, Sep 18th 2008, #107
RE: Just found out! Triplets, jblischke, Sep 18th 2008, #109
RE: Just found out! Triplets, 3petes, Sep 18th 2008, #113

MSTAR Thu Sep-18-08 05:04 PM
Member since Jul 19th 2005
1905 posts Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to add this author to your buddy list
#375544, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




Please, please don't reduce or leave the forum because the sheer magnitude of entertainment you will bring me will be priceless.

"World's Crunchiest Triplet Mom".

I personally think you will be just fine because of the grass-fed meat. That makes a HUGE difference, let me tell ya.

God, I already love you. Don't go!!!!

Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, LolasLadies, Sep 18th 2008, #116
RE: Just found out! Triplets, MSTAR, Sep 18th 2008, #123
RE: Just found out! Triplets, LolasLadies, Sep 18th 2008, #127

hardentriplets Thu Sep-18-08 05:05 PM
Member since Feb 28th 2008
993 posts Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
#375546, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




"I currently have a meeting with my perinatologist to speak about the subject of letting them go if born before 29 weeks with major complications.

NOW I'm sure that post is really going to PISS people off, but that is honestly how I feel, and as you all well know I'm not going to lie."

Actually I think you like conflict, and for you to keep saying stupid s**t makes me also think you crave it. Don't appoligize, you know your upsetting all of us and that's what your intentions are. You know there's humdreds of women on here who have delievered before week 29 and it didn't even faze you to spout off something like that. I hope your pg and children live up to your high standards and live a healthy life with no complications. As I said before what world do you live in where everyone is born healthy and in no pain? Because I would love for my children to live there! What you said makes you a cold hearted B! I think your a sick individual who has joined the wrong group. Go look for a cult to join on the web!

*MAGGIE*
Proud Momma X 3!!!
-Brody Paul 3lbs 10oz
-Logan Dean 4lbs
-Seth Franklin 2lbs 9oz

http://hardentriplets.blogspot.com/


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Mama2five Thu Sep-18-08 05:07 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
624 posts Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to add this author to your buddy list
#375549, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




You keep saying "This is not the place for me". SO GO!!!!! Quit posting!!!! Get out of here if this is not the place for you! I can assure you that this is *not* the place for you.

There is probably a "Mommy Dearest" board out there somewhere.

Christa, her wonder uterus, and Josh (the daddy) have produced:
Reagan (4/28/04 @ 41 weeks)
Ethan (4/27/05 @ 43 weeks)
Delaney, Addie, and Joel (1/23/08 @ 35.4 weeks)


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3petes Thu Sep-18-08 05:13 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1124 posts Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to add this author to your buddy list
#375555, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




How is that you do not support reduction, you support the right to die?

You do not support prematurity, yet you put three embryos back?

WTF? you have some really contradicting STRONG beliefs. If you're not a faker I don't know what you are. I stand by teh fact that you are a selfish person and probably don't deserve the child that you already have, let alone the three growing in your precious uterus.



Jamye

Love my GGG ~


2 years old.....How did that happen?
Born on 08/07/06

http://www.babysites.com/sites/3petes/


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Replies to this subthread
RE: Just found out! Triplets, love my kids, Sep 18th 2008, #119
RE: Just found out! Triplets, HOWMANY, Sep 18th 2008, #125
RE: Just found out! Triplets, tripletmom05, Sep 18th 2008, #129
RE: Just found out! Triplets, love my kids, Sep 18th 2008, #132

curlygwen Thu Sep-18-08 05:27 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
349 posts Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to add this author to your buddy list
#375561, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Sep-18-08 05:29 PM by curlygwen



I have stayed out of this so far, but the comment about letting a baby go if born before 29 weeks is way over the line. If you are indeed a real person with a real triplet pregnancy, you need to start educating yourself. You are so incredibly ignorant!

It is horrible to watch your child suffer. As a mom, I would think you would know that some suffering is inevitable. It doesn't mean that the child shouldn't have a chance at a life.

You need to think about your "beliefs". Because they are very selfish and not grounded in reality.

** And seriously, you're not going to treat your child if she has cancer?!! This has to be a joke.

Gwen and Zack

GGB born at 32 weeks, 4 days
Hayley 2 lbs., 5 oz.
Nolie 3 lbs., 4 oz.
Cole 3 lbs., 7 oz.

http://www.swiretriplets.com



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amlink Thu Sep-18-08 05:37 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
791 posts Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to add this author to your buddy list
#375574, "RE: Just found out! Triplets"
In response to Reply # 0




I tried to stop myself from responding, but I can't...

Isn't reduction butchery in and of itself? I mean, you are actually killing fetuses on purpose...seems a tad more like "butchery" than a C-section. Or perhaps you are anti-C-section for more selfish reasons...

I'm not sure of the medical ethics involved...but I am guessing that if you decide to let one of your children die by refusing to treat them medically, someone will probably attempt to get a court decide if you are really a fit parent...

In the end, if you are planning to let your kiddos die in the hospital, you may as well reduce...I'm surprised it is even an issue for you...

P.S. You'll note from my signature that I did not burden society with my babies...you can thank milkshakes, cheeseburgers, and french fries for that...oh wait, only ORGANIC living will produce healthy non-preemie tripets...I guess my babies did't get that memo!

GGG born 9/3/05 at 35w3d

http://lilypie.com>


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Jul 29 2008 Leaving kids in the car

Subject: "Need to vent!" Previous topic | Next topic


lalberta
Tue Jul-29-08 06:22 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
75 posts


#364893, "Need to vent!"

Pleast tell me I'm not the only one who does this . . . .


Okay, so I just took the kids to go get ice cream, I'm by myself as usual, and I was debating on whether to lug the choo choo wagon, or just wing it once i got there.

So, I get there and there is no one in line, and the front parking spot is open. So, I jump out and leave the kids in the car, windows down, but doors locked and movie on, so they're entertained. My trio is two and my oldest is five.

Like i said, there is no one in line, so i'm literally two/three minutes. on my way back, there's a woman & her son sitting on a bench near my car. She says, "Maam, i notice you have small children in the car, you know i think it's against the law to leave them like that!" i said, "well, i have two year old triplets and a five year old and they out number me, so sometimes i do what i have to do."

she says, "i have little ones too, i know it's hard, but it's just not safe."

you know - it's not like i was going food shopping and left them in the car, with the windows rolled up for two hours in the blistering sun. It was 7:00 in the evening on a nice day, i was right there. give me a freaking break!! i wanted to just tell her that having "little ones at home" and dealing with two year old triplets on a daily basis don't even compare - so keep your two cents to yourself!!

but now i'm panicking that she took down my licese plate number & is going to report me!?!?!?!

ugh!!! i hate the public!!
Lisa

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Replies to this topic


RE: Need to vent!, garberr, Jul 29th 2008, #1
RE: Need to vent!, morethemerrier, Jul 30th 2008, #24
RE: Need to vent!, Mamakitten3, Jul 29th 2008, #2
RE: Need to vent!, stefanir, Jul 29th 2008, #3
RE: Need to vent!, morethemerrier, Jul 30th 2008, #25
RE: Need to vent!, Sheller223, Jul 29th 2008, #4
RE: Need to vent!, Triplethefun04, Jul 29th 2008, #5
RE: Need to vent!, pixilee, Jul 29th 2008, #6
RE: Need to vent!, foreveramom, Jul 29th 2008, #7
RE: Need to vent!, GRACY1, Jul 29th 2008, #9
RE: Need to vent!, 6_olive_shoots, Jul 29th 2008, #11
RE: Need to vent!, foreveramom, Jul 29th 2008, #12
RE: Need to vent!, MSTAR, Jul 29th 2008, #16
RE: Need to vent!, morethemerrier, Jul 30th 2008, #27
RE: Need to vent!, LolasLadies, Jul 30th 2008, #30
RE: Need to vent!, morethemerrier, Jul 30th 2008, #31
RE: Need to vent!, lsmiller, Jul 30th 2008, #38
RE: Need to vent!, sandsstone, Jul 29th 2008, #8
RE: Need to vent!, foreveramom, Jul 29th 2008, #14
RE: Need to vent!, PA triplets, Jul 29th 2008, #15
RE: Need to vent!, gracy3, Jul 30th 2008, #36
RE: Need to vent!, Mom23in2003, Jul 29th 2008, #10
RE: Need to vent!, HOWMANY, Jul 29th 2008, #13
RE: Need to vent!, GRACY1, Jul 29th 2008, #17
RE: Need to vent!, MSTAR, Jul 29th 2008, #20
RE: Need to vent!, tvmurphy, Jul 29th 2008, #18
RE: Need to vent!, GRACY1, Jul 29th 2008, #21
RE: Need to vent!, fof, Jul 30th 2008, #28
RE: Need to vent!, foreveramom, Jul 30th 2008, #33
RE: Need to vent!, albentrip, Jul 29th 2008, #19
RE: Need to vent!, Katrina_Jason, Jul 29th 2008, #22
RE: Need to vent!, lovemy5boys, Jul 29th 2008, #23
RE: Need to vent!, MargieInAZ, Jul 30th 2008, #26
RE: Need to vent!, Tasha, Jul 30th 2008, #51
Wow. Most of you must live in the 14 states, morethemerrier, Jul 30th 2008, #29
RE: Wow. Most of you must live in the 14 states, MSTAR, Jul 30th 2008, #32
RE: Wow. Most of you must live in the 14 states, sandsstone, Jul 30th 2008, #41
RE: Wow. Most of you must live in the 14 states, foreveramom, Jul 30th 2008, #45
RE: Need to vent!, foreveramom, Jul 30th 2008, #34
RE: Need to vent!, TiffaniRay, Jul 30th 2008, #35
RE: Need to vent!, LolasLadies, Jul 30th 2008, #44
RE: Need to vent!, casanndra, Jul 30th 2008, #37
RE: Need to vent!, joan1256, Jul 30th 2008, #39
RE: Need to vent!, MelissaChicago, Jul 30th 2008, #40
RE: Need to vent!, fof, Jul 30th 2008, #42
RE: Need to vent!, 6BlueEyes, Jul 30th 2008, #47
RE: Need to vent!, lsmiller, Jul 30th 2008, #43
RE: Need to vent!, VonWasden, Jul 30th 2008, #46
RE: Need to vent!, fulloffaith, Jul 30th 2008, #48
RE: Need to vent!, StefMac2, Jul 30th 2008, #49
RE: Need to vent!, gracy3, Jul 30th 2008, #50



garberr
Tue Jul-29-08 06:28 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
165 posts


#364897, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

Well, not to be rude but it is against the law and very dangerous. What seems so innocent can quickly turn into a tradegy.

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morethemerrier
Wed Jul-30-08 01:11 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
2081 posts


#364979, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 1

Depends on where you live.

In Maryland the law says.. (I have paraphrased a bit, but this is almost exact)

No one under the age of 8 may be left in a building, enclosure or vehicle, UNLESS THE building, enclosure or VEHICLE is IN THE LINE OF SIGHT OF THE PERSON charged with their care, and the party in charge must be 13 or older.

Car at gas pump, pay outside window... okay. Pay inside store... if you can see your vehicle at all times.. okay. If your line of sight is blocked,. not okay.

Car in front of ice cream store, ice cream store has outside window.. okay. Ice cream store has no outside ordering window, but has giant front windows in which the car is always visible to the inside of the store.. okay. if you have to face the back of the store for any reason.. not okay.

And as long as you can physically SEE the building, enclosure or vehicle, even it if is 1/4 of a mile away... it is still not a violation of Maryland Law. And you cannot possibly be in violation of the law if you are IN the building, enclosure or vehicle with them.

It is, however, illegal in Maryland to leave a car's engine running unless there is a licensed driver in the vehicle.

As to danger...

Did you know that statistically speaking a child is more at risk for death or injury while walking in a parking lot or "driveway" type area, than they are if they are left in a vehicle?

The problem is, the media never headlines the child that, as a pedestrian, is hit and killed, but front pages and leading storys the one that is left in the car that is car jacked. Children in this country are hit and killed every single day, walking in mall parking lots, ran over in their own driveways, going to school, leaving playgrounds,and yet, only two or three times a year does it become huge news that a child dies from being left locked up in an CLOSED UP un-attended vehicle.

She ensured the safety of her children. The windows were down. The car was locked. I'm taking a stab at the fact that if the car was locked, then she had the keys and the car wasn't running. If it was, shame shame shame. Also if she could not see the car from inside the store, she would be violating our law and creating a potentially dangerous situation.

But then again, I'm going by Maryland law, maybe it is unlawful in her state.

EVERY SINGLE TIME I took them anywhere by myself, until they were old enough to walk out of the house as a group and get into my vehicle as a group, I was forced to violate Maryland law because it was not POSSIBLE to put all three of them in the vehicle at the same time once they were out of infant carriers. I could carry all three infant carriers at the same time.. Therefore, once I got one strapped into a car seat and went back for another... the car was no longer in my line of sight.. I guess I was supposed to tear down the back wall of my kitchen and open it directly to the driveway?
MTM - mom to Michael(84),Stephan(85), Thomas, Matthew and Kathryn - born 12/27/99 at 32w 0 days

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Mamakitten3
Tue Jul-29-08 07:09 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
965 posts


#364906, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

I know its a total PITA but she could very well report you to CPS and they will open an investigation. My ST was telling me that one of her clients got out of the car and went to the ATM(6ftaway) and she was under investigation for a year and had to take parenting classes. I think we all have been tempted to do this at one time another but its just not worth the risk.

When I was 16yrs old and incredibly stupid, my BFF and I were babysitting her younger siblings 7,5 and 4yrs old. We left them in the parking lot at our work for 5min to p/u our paychecks. The 7yr old got scared because the 4yr old was freaking out and he rolled up all the windows in just under 100 degree heat. When we got to the car they were all sweaty and scared, it was horrible experience for them but it taught us a great big lesson. Its never worth the time and energy you might save to cut corners when it comes to your kiddos.

www.groups.yahoo.com/group/HOMlosangeles

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stefanir
Tue Jul-29-08 07:11 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
42 posts


#364908, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

It is annoying, especially when you know you are literally just a few feet away from them, and the car is within sight the entire time.

However, it's completely and totally against the law. When I get annoyed I remember that I don't want to be "that" Mom who ends up on the evening news b/c I left my kids in the car to go shopping. Even if it did seem safe, you don't know what could happen...and if that's not enough...think of the embarassment a public scandal would bring. There are some real sticklers out there.

That being said, I didn't know the law when I first had my kiddos and left them once to run into 7-11 to get a slurpee. Same situation, car locked, car on, etc. When I got home my husband informed me of the error of my ways. Oh the days I long for an ice cold slurpee...but can't get one b/c I have three babies in the car. Oh well, empty calories I didn't need anyway.

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morethemerrier
Wed Jul-30-08 01:13 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
2081 posts


#364980, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 3

>It is annoying, especially when you know you are literally
>just a few feet away from them, and the car is within sight
>the entire time.

Not in my state would "literally just a few feet away from the, and the car is within sight the entire time" situation be against the law.
>\
MTM - mom to Michael(84),Stephan(85), Thomas, Matthew and Kathryn - born 12/27/99 at 32w 0 days

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Sheller223
Tue Jul-29-08 07:16 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
776 posts


#364910, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

I DO NOT leave my kids in the car by themselves. Period. There is one time that I did when they were around 2 months old and I still carry that guilt around to this day! It was my first time out with them to take them to the pedi and I had to get gas. Well, my sleep-deprived brain thought the gas pump said that I had to pay inside. I panicked, not knowing what to do. I went inside with my eyes glued to the van the entire time and completely went bananas with the 'what-ifs'. I still can't believe I did that. It makes my stomach hurt.

Not only is it probably against the law in some states, but incredibly dangerous! I probably would have said something too if I had been in that woman's place. It sounds like she was just looking out for the welfare of the kids.


Michelle
ggg born March 15, 2005
35.2 wks

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Triplethefun04
Tue Jul-29-08 07:17 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
698 posts


#364911, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0
Tue Jul-29-08 07:24 PM by Triplethefun04

Haven't read the other responses.

I've taken my kids out alone since infancy, so I know how it is.

But I would NEVER leave my children in a car, unless it's an absolute emergency!! Running in for ice cream is not an emergency. If no one was in line, you parked right in front of the place, why not just get them out and give them that thrill to get their ice cream?

I honestly don't blame the woman for saying something to you and pulling the triplet card doesn't make it okay! I have hovered by a car where someone has left children of questionable age behind in the car. It's not right. Children can get hurt, taken or DIE in cars!! IN MINUTES!!

Kudos for you for leaving the windows down, way to go... But not really. Don't go somewhere you can't take them with you or go through the drive thru if you don't crave dragging them in with you.

I have personally followed a story of a father who lost his precious son in a car.

Please think twice before doing this again! If she doesn't turn in your plate number, consider yourself lucky. The next time you might not be, whether it be CPS or God forbid - worse...

Just my 2 cents on this topic and one that I won't budge on, no matter how many justifications a parent makes!

ETA for punctuation...

Michelle
(formerly known as bsebllmom9 )

http://triplethefunplus2.blogspot.com/

Tyler 17 1/2 years!!
Steph 15 1/2 years!!
Ayden, Ryley & Dylan 3 1/2 years!!

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pixilee
Tue Jul-29-08 07:37 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1668 posts


#364913, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0
Tue Jul-29-08 07:48 PM by pixilee

A few years back I was in a drycleaning shop when a woman parked right outside the doors, leaving her child in the car to pick up her drycleaning. Unfortunately for her, a police officer pulled up just behind her.

If your windows were down, with keys in the ignition to run their movie, someone could have jumped into your car in the blink of an eye and drove off with your children.

It is not safe to leave your children in the car. This woman you are speaking so harshly about was right.

This is what I found in the California Vehicle Code (where I live).

UNATTENDED CHILDREN IN MOTOR VEHICLES
It is illegal to leave a child six years of age or younger unattended in a motor vehicle when:

There are conditions that present a significant risk to the child’s health or safety. Example: Leaving a child in a closed car on a very hot day.

The vehicle’s engine is running, the keys are in the ignition, or both. Children can start or move the car causing injuries and/or deaths to themselves or others.

Exception: The child may be left under the supervision of a person 12 years of age or older.

The court may fine violators and require the person to attend a community education program.

Also, the penalties for leaving an unattended child in a vehicle are more severe if the child is injured, requires emergency medical services, or dies.
Jonna

B 14
B 10
G (Stillborn Angel 4/16/05)
BGB 1/06 @ 27 wks

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foreveramom
Tue Jul-29-08 07:49 PM
Member since Jan 30th 2006
1073 posts


#364915, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

I am one to report mothers who leave their kids in the car. A two year old can learn to unbuckle a carseat belt and tumble out the window in just a few quick seconds. My ds learned how to undo his buckle when he was two. I learned this while I sat in the driver's seat in our driveway. I thought maybe I had not snapped it properly. I looked back after buckling him in again and sure enough, he'd already begun to pinch and unclasp the chest belt and unsnapped the crotch straps.

You had to turn your back for even 10 seconds to make your selection, to pay, to whatever. That's enough time for something bad to happen.

What if you had slipped on the floor while in there and broken your ankle while your four kids were in the car alone. There are so many other "what ifs."

I don't go anywhere where I'm not prepared to take all four inside with me, no matter how briefly. Even in to drop a $20.00 at a gas station. I just don't do it. Ever. And I personally get angry when I see someone doing that. Having triplets is no excuse to put them at risk, imho.

As an alternative, I have called a few places ahead of time and told them I was on my own with a car full of children and asked if they wouldn't mind running my order out to me - pizza, Chinese carry-out, whatever. They are always happy to oblige.

I've also asked the people in the drivethru at CVS if they wouldn't mind throwing some Children's Motrin or whatever into the slot along with my Rx's while I'm there if I know I can't run in for a few extra little things. I'd never ask when they're busy. I've never been turned down or gotten anything but a helpful attitude.

Also, I've caught employees as they're taking a smoke break out in front of convenience stores and asked them if they wouldn't mind if they have no customers, if they'd grab me a gallon of milk (showing them my car full of kids). I've only ever gotten happy-faced employees thrilled to help out the mom with a buttload of little kids.

And when it doesn't work out, I just don't do it.
Mom of: Kristi(22), Kevin(19), Kelli(17), Angus(5) and GGB - Ruca, Nadia and Max (3) Born 10-14-04 at 34 weeks.
www.angusandthetriplets.com
also www.angusandthetriplets.blogspot.com

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GRACY1
Tue Jul-29-08 08:57 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
73 posts


#364934, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 7

I have read all the replies on here and am sitting here thinking to myself I am glad i did not post this, seriously. I thought this was supposed to be a SUPPORTIVE group.Some of the responses are just rude. Yes, while it is not a good idea to leave children in a car unattended, why do some of you feel the need to judge. I know that with all the people on this site there is a percentage of us that have left our children in a car unattended at least once and regretted it but they are probably too scared to post now because of the attacking nature you who have posted have chosen to take. Don't you think it would have been more helpful to give advice not be critical of the poster. I realize this is not the response most of you think you should get but hopefully maybe one of you who replied will step off your high horse and realize that not everything is picture perfect,some of us make mistakes,it would be nice to know there was a place to go even if you screw up that someone would say"While i understand your frustration with that woman,it is never safe to leave your children unattended"How hard was that. Again, i am probably going to get some backlash from this reply but who cares.Think how much more help you could be to someone if you give them helpful advice instead of rude comments. As for the people who sit by the car and wait for the person to come out,why not ask if they need assistance. as for the people who call cps, how do you know what is going on in that persons life, who are you to judge what is appropriate for a family.Don't judge lest ye be judged. GRACY1

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6_olive_shoots
Tue Jul-29-08 09:16 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
475 posts


#364942, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 9
Tue Jul-29-08 09:21 PM by 6_olive_shoots

Wow, seriously???

She was getting ice cream, it was not an emergency!

She was the one to post it here looking for comments! What on earth is "judgmental" about commenting on a post when ASKED to?!

I applaud the other woman for having the courage to speak up. Far too many people these days "don't want to get involved". It only takes a minute or two for disaster to strike in the heat! Not to mention leaving the keys in, doors locked or not, windows down or not, it only takes a minute...The news is FULL of people with injured or kidnapped or dead kids who left them "for just a minute". Thank God the OP's kids were OK. All you need is some sort of delay inside the store - clerk on the phone or something, it could have turned out a lot differently.

As a footnote, I didn't think any of the posts were rude. Difference of opinion, I guess. I may have missed some. "Support" doesn't necessarily mean agreement, BTW. Sometimes support is not what we want to hear.
Kari S.

Mom to BBB 17, 14, 10
BBG 9/25/01

My story of nursing triplets http://triplestuff.blogspot.com/2008/01/yes-i-nursed-my-triplets.html

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foreveramom
Tue Jul-29-08 09:17 PM
Member since Jan 30th 2006
1073 posts


#364943, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 9

>as for the people who call cps, how
>do you know what is going on in that persons life, who are you
>to judge what is appropriate for a family.Don't judge lest ye
be judged. GRACY1

I contact the Sheriff's Dept if I see small children in a running car in a parking lot and I don't care what the circumstance is, there is no reason for that. I actually saw two small children huddled in a dark car in a hospital parking lot in the middle of the night. The family was inside in the emergency room. I ran back inside the hospital and reported it. No excuse. None. Those kids were both under four and I could have kidnapped them myself and nobody would have known.

I'll not apologize for my comments. If it's harsh, then so be it. The original poster wasn't coming on to say she felt horrible about what she had done. She came on to say she was worried she'd be reported and hates "the public."

BTW, I did offer some suggestions of ways to get around the whole "by yourself with kids" thing.
Mom of: Kristi(22), Kevin(19), Kelli(17), Angus(5) and GGB - Ruca, Nadia and Max (3) Born 10-14-04 at 34 weeks.
www.angusandthetriplets.com
also www.angusandthetriplets.blogspot.com

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MSTAR
Tue Jul-29-08 09:23 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1789 posts


#364947, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 9

Gracy,

What the original poster did is a FELONY in the state of Nevada. That's right. You lose your children and go to jail. You CANNOT leave your children in the car FOR ANY REASON in my state. Not even for 30 seconds. We actually had a huge campaign here all last year and several parents were made huge examples of, including some poor chap who just ran in for his Starbuck's. He lost his son. You can't do this, EVER. EVER. EVER.

So even when I'm running to my P O Box and I have all four children with me, and it will take LITERALLY 30 seconds to get my mail, I have to unbuckle and take all four children in with me. And I do it gladly, because I'm so thankful to have my four children.

You just don't do it. And the government is judging here, not triplet moms. IT'S AGAINST THE LAW.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

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morethemerrier
Wed Jul-30-08 01:26 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
2081 posts


#364982, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 16

Baloney. Its a misdameanor.

http://www.leg.state.nv.us/73rd/bills/SB/SB287_EN.pdf

At the beginning of this it mentions that existing law lays out punishment for abuse neglect and endangerment that IS a felony, but goes on to say: :

Legislative Counsel’s Digest:

This bill prohibits a parent, legal guardian or other person who is responsible
for a child who is 7 years of age or younger from knowingly and intentionally
leaving the child in a motor vehicle without the supervision of a person who is at
least 12 years of age IF the conditions present a significant risk to the health and
safety of the child;OR (2) the engine of the motor vehicle is running or the keys to
the vehicle are in the ignition.

A person who violates this provision is guilty of a
misdemeanor.


However, this bill allows a court to suspend the proceedings and
dismiss the proceedings if the person completes an educational program
satisfactory to the court. This bill further provides that the penalties of this
provision do not apply if the person may be prosecuted under another provision of
law. Thus, if the conduct of the parent, legal guardian or other person rises to the
level of abuse or neglect of the child, this provision would not apply.
MTM - mom to Michael(84),Stephan(85), Thomas, Matthew and Kathryn - born 12/27/99 at 32w 0 days

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LolasLadies
Wed Jul-30-08 01:56 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
939 posts


#364986, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 27

http://www.lasvegasnow.com/Global/story.asp?S=8648968

This just happened in Vegas. They are being charged with 8 counts of felony child endangerment for leaving their children in a van because of the hot temperatures, which in Vegas, seems to happen for 7/10 of the year. I guess it depends on the situation.
Lola's GGG 28-weekers born Jan.2005
Alison 2.3 Emma 2.2 Kristin 1.11
The world's least triplet-related triplet blog: http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com

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morethemerrier
Wed Jul-30-08 02:02 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
2081 posts


#364988, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 30

My guess its that it goes to the "level of abuse" which provides the loophole to prosecute dummies that leave their kids in such conditions that would result in a fatality.
MTM - mom to Michael(84),Stephan(85), Thomas, Matthew and Kathryn - born 12/27/99 at 32w 0 days

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lsmiller
Wed Jul-30-08 08:04 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
701 posts


#365009, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 31

I'm from Vegas as well. In this town it CAN go to the level of abuse. During the summer months - the temperatures go as high as 150 degrees inside a closed car in minutes.

A recent news story was about a woman whose 4 year old was in the car while she was getting her nails done. She was to be married that day. Her son was dead when she got back to the car.

You DO NOT leave your children in the car in Las Vegas. Not even for 30 seconds - you WILL be arrested if you are caught.
Laraine
Mom to one beautiful Angel - Alexandra Whitney (7/28/03 - 7/31/03)
and two wonderful boys
Brian James & Charles Vincent 7/28/03 34wks4days


http://www.brianandcharlie.com/blog

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sandsstone
Tue Jul-29-08 08:55 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1061 posts


#364933, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

So what is the definition of unattended, just for clarification because I know I have run into some situations that I wonder how I would deal with it if I was alone. I know if I leave it running with the keys in it that is a no no...but what about

If I get out to pump gas...is that unattended?
How about if I hear a loud thump and I get out to look what it was and if all the pieces of my vehicle are still in tact?
If I am dumping the accumulated crud out of the vehicle into a curb side trash can?
What about returning the cart to the cart corral at the box store?
Does it mean I have to be within touching distance?


I don't mean to be argumentative...I am just wondering where to draw the line? (and where to tell DH to draw the line)

Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com


http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message

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foreveramom
Tue Jul-29-08 09:22 PM
Member since Jan 30th 2006
1073 posts


#364945, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 8

Susan, I think the rule of thumb is the "comfortable distance" thing. I've been in a parking lot where there have been strangers hanging around to watch me put my trio from the triple-decker into the car. That comfortable distance was about 12 inches away from their carseats.

I still don't run across to put the cart in the corral if I'm not right next to it. Not with my kids in the car. I'm maybe a bit too paranoid, but I'm just sure I'll be the one who gets hit by the dumba$$ teenager who flies around the corner in a parking lot and nobody will notice my kids in the car as I lay in the street dying.

DH deals with criminals every day. One of his clients jumped in a car and tried to drive off with the kids in the car while a woman was just outside her car. He couldn't get away because he couldn't drive a stick. Seriously. I hear about that kind of thing WAY too much.
Mom of: Kristi(22), Kevin(19), Kelli(17), Angus(5) and GGB - Ruca, Nadia and Max (3) Born 10-14-04 at 34 weeks.
www.angusandthetriplets.com
also www.angusandthetriplets.blogspot.com

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PA triplets
Tue Jul-29-08 09:22 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1380 posts


#364946, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 8

I have a question too. How do you get a cart at the grocery or department store if you don't leave them unattended for a few seconds? I usually drive around the whole parking lot trying to find a 3 kid cart. Most of the time I find one and park near it. However, once or twice I had to leave them in the car to get a cart. It was in cool weather so I took the keys with me and locked them in the car. I would never do that in warm weather or leave the keys in the car. Now that my kids are older they can walk with me to find a cart, but that wasn't the case earlier. How do you get carts?

Lori


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gracy3
Wed Jul-30-08 07:46 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2003 posts


#365002, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 15
Wed Jul-30-08 07:51 AM by gracy3

Lori - Your idea of parking near the cart is a good one, but if that is not possible....If your kids are old enough to walk - they walk with you to get the cart - otherwise - I used my stroller and pulled a shopping cart behind me. I taught my kids to hold hands at a very early age.
Gracy
BGG (9/18/04 @ 31 weeks) and G (3/6/06 at 38 weeks)...
Save the babies!
www.marchforbabies.org/4littlesplinters

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Mom23in2003
Tue Jul-29-08 09:05 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1151 posts


#364939, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

I know my DH has done this. I've told him not to, but he has.

The only time I can remember leaving my kids in the car when I've gotten out is to put library books in a return slot about 10 feet away from the car on the outside of the library. Literally 5 seconds round trip. I don't think I would ever go inside a store or building of any kind with my kids still in the car. Just too many bad things can happen.
Kristen

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HOWMANY
Tue Jul-29-08 09:17 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1290 posts


#364944, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

Well I won't let you sit out on that dingy by yourself!

I have left my kids in the car with it running, without it running and windows down.

Mostly at the ATM machine with the car right there. But there was one time the spot was not open on the street right in front and I parked around the corner. It was "winter" in So. Cal so I was not worried about heat. But I did feel a bit crappy about it.

I also load my girls up in the car and I buckle them in and run back in the house to grab DS and shut his bedside vent off, sometimes I have to suction him.

Flame away! You do what you gotta do. But that being said there are lots of stops I won't do when I have my DS with me cause it takes longer to pull out and bulid/break down his wheelchair then the actual act.

Amy
Wife to Jason(pixelpusher)
Mom to Gwynne, Connor, Chloe 11/03/03
25wks 1day

www.caringbridge.org/visit/connorferris

http://lilypie.com>

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GRACY1
Tue Jul-29-08 09:37 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
73 posts


#364949, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 13

Obviously, some posters were more gracious than others, as for the poster who called about the children being left at the emergency room. Absolutely, I am not an idiot,i would have called to but come on.If you posted a reply that was sarcastic,rude,mean,or not helpful than you know what you wrote. I will not sit here and say i have never done it,i have gone to pay for gas, emptied my trash ect. Do i regret it,yes, I am with the poster who wants to know what is the definition of UNATTENDED?I would love to know what you all think. Thanks Gracy1

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MSTAR
Tue Jul-29-08 10:01 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1789 posts


#364956, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 17

I think you should look at the law in your state. All states vary on this. Some are definitely more punitive than others. The original poster should check the laws in her state as well. Our law was changed and made more punitive after a rash of car-jackings and children left in the heat who died.

Our law was written so broadly that if the DA really wanted to, they could prosecute you for leaving your kids in your driveway. We had a situation where a father left his kids in the car in his driveway and one of them put the car in neutral and it rolled down the driveway, down the street, and down in embankment. They did not charge him, although it was in the news because they could have charged him. (I read the paper every day and have always been active in local politics.)

As far as parking lots and getting carts, I leave my cart in front of my car if I can't get it back reasonably. I have walked over 3 or 4 spots to get a cart and it makes me have a sick feeling in my stomach because I know that if something happened, I could be charged if the DA really wanted to and I'm so happy that they are older now and I can just walk in with them.

So really, know your laws in your state and use common sense.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

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tvmurphy
Tue Jul-29-08 09:55 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
192 posts


#364954, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

Please look at this site.

I hope that you will think twice about leaving your children unattended in a car, it is not just your child that could be harmed...

http://www.harrisonshope.org/


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GRACY1
Tue Jul-29-08 10:04 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
73 posts


#364957, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 18

This is a very informative website. I wish this had been an earlier reply to the original post.Sometimes life experience is more of an eye opener than unhelpful comments. Kudos...Gracy1

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fof
Wed Jul-30-08 01:40 AM
Member since Jun 23rd 2008
38 posts


#364983, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 21

Gracy
Glad somebody has had the courage to say what you have. This is the second time in a few days that I've seen nasty sarcastic comments on this site. It's beginning to remind me of school yard tactics ie many picking on one! Leaving your children alone in the car is not ideal or safe but nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes and do things sometimes that others don't agree with. I agree with Gracy that this does not give anyone the right to judge or insult another person. I think standing by the car when someone runs an errand would be a kind and helpful thing to do. Reporting a mother for trying to get ice cream? Come on?

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foreveramom
Wed Jul-30-08 06:02 AM
Member since Jan 30th 2006
1073 posts


#364996, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 28

If you think it's not serious?

http://www.wesh.com/news/16905684/detail.html

I re-read a lot of the comments and I'm trying to find the ones with insults in them. I can't. Just differences of opinion.
Mom of: Kristi(22), Kevin(19), Kelli(17), Angus(5) and GGB - Ruca, Nadia and Max (3) Born 10-14-04 at 34 weeks.
www.angusandthetriplets.com
also www.angusandthetriplets.blogspot.com

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albentrip
Tue Jul-29-08 09:58 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
275 posts


#364955, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

I'm not going to address the legal issue but there is a safety issue you should be aware of.

One of my triplets learned to unbuckle the carseat that I thought she was secured in at the age of two. I was standing right outside the car for literally 2 minutes talking to a friend after dropping my older son off at a baseball game. The next thing I knew, there was my two-year old walking into the parking lot looking for me. Thank goodness there were no cars coming and I saw her but you never know when they are going to master those seatbelts. It scared the daylights out of me and I was right there.

My escape artist obviously mastered the buckle early but the point is you don't know when they will.

I think I would have been annoyed by that stranger but in hindsight I would have thought she made a good point.

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Katrina_Jason
Tue Jul-29-08 10:13 PM
Member since Apr 29th 2008
111 posts


#364960, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

I am glad this was brought up. Until I read everyones replies and really thought about the "what ifs" I myself may have been tempted to do something similar in the future. Now I will know better...must say I brought this up to DH and he thinks it's a bit much to not be able to leave them in the car when you are within sight(except for heat/cold). I can see I need to explain the dangers to him further.
http://lilypie.com>

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lovemy5boys
Tue Jul-29-08 11:13 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
839 posts


#364973, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

I have never taken my kids out of the car to go to the atm, which is 6 feet away from where you park, basically almost my body length. I also have never taken my kids out of the car to get gas. BOth of these things are places where I am a 2 second sprint from my van. Is it right? no. But I'm not about to start taking them out of the car to walk 6 feet. That being said, I have never gone in a store, ice cream place, Starbucks, whatever, without taking them with me. It doesn't say in your post how far you were from them. We have an ice cream place here that is like 40 steps from your car. I still wouldn't leave then though. 6 ft and 40 ft are a big difference. I have to admit I am one of those people who would say something or wait by the car if I saw young children in there alone. I saw it about a yr ago and I was getting my phone out of my purse to call 911 as the mom came back. I agree though, getting them out does suck!! You just have to do it. Next time your getting them a treat make it something you can drive through like a shake or a cookie from McD's instead. just my 2 cents.
proud mom to
DS 6
DS 3
BBB 9/29/06






Visit me at:
http://amiehale.barefootparties.com/

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MargieInAZ
Wed Jul-30-08 01:21 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
241 posts


#364981, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

I read the OP, then I was reading all the comments, and I have to say, I was thinking I've never left mine in the car alone.
Then someone mentioned the driveway. I know that's kind of extreme, but I live a few houses away from a large park with a lot of sports fields in it and a lake. A lot of people park on my street and walk to the park, so I have a fair number of people walking in front of my house. Not a constant traffic jam, as it's a normal neighborhood, but most of the time if I look outside my front window, there's frequently someone I don't know walking down the street.
So, when I take the girls out by myself in the summer (I'm in AZ & it's 100+ degrees outside), I go out, start the car so the AC goes on, then go in and get each girl individually. I leave them in the play room, where it's safe, at the other end of the house while I'm loading up the others, so it takes me a minute or two to go back inside and get another baby. Right now, one is walking, the other two are not, so I take them to and from the car one at a time.
So, at any given time I have one or two babies in the van with the engine running and the doors open. I don't have a garage, it's a carport, so completely open to the street.
I realize that's an extreme example, and probably wouldn't get "arrested", but reading the responses to this thread, make me nervous to do this.
But what choice do I have? Does anyone have any other suggestions or options?
I know it's a slim chance that the van would be stolen with babies in it, but I know it does happen... Ugh.
Is this just a risk I have to live with?
Margie, 43, single



GGG, Chloe, Brianna & Taylor
Born 3/6/07 at 30w1d



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Tasha
Wed Jul-30-08 12:49 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1760 posts


#365101, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 26

A remote car starter. Leave the kids out of the equation never leave her keys in the car to warm or cool it. A lady on the next block learned this lesson over the winter. They had been doing it for YEARS. Going out and starting the car to let it warm/cool (no kids involved) before work. Then one day someone comes and takes the car. The kick in the ass. They left the keys in the car so not covered. Don't know if it is the same with all policies but was with theirs. I have been meaning to ask my agent. The other kick the officer said they could be charged for leaving a running car. I had never heard it before. Probably some ordinance because the ease of theft and number of calls it generates. They didn't charge them but they were worried about it for a bit.

DH had a remote starter put on my van before the babies were born so I could warm/cool the van from inside the house and the car can't be taken(engine cuts if you touch a pedal). It is also great in parking lots to have the car heating/cooling while loading the kids. I would never put the keys in the ignition while I was outside the vehicle loading kids. I had a situation where a "gentleman" was wondering between my van and the next car like 3 times. I kept watching him and he was looking into my van. I think to see if the keys were there since it was running. If they were and he had decided to jump in and take off he would have had 1 or 2 of my children (not get buckled as I did everything in stages) as I was unbuckling another from the stroller. My one knee in the van wouldn't have stood up to the van taking off.
Tasha
Julia, Megan and Alex 7/00
Abby 12/02

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morethemerrier
Wed Jul-30-08 01:54 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
2081 posts


#364985, "Wow. Most of you must live in the 14 states"
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Jul-30-08 02:01 AM by morethemerrier

Thats right.... FOURTEEN states have laws about leaving them unattended in cars. And virtually every single one of them has EXCEPTIONS.

California (a) A parent, legal guardian, or other person responsible for a child who is 6 years of age or younger may not leave that child inside a motor vehicle without being subject to the supervision of a person who is 12 years of age or older, under either of the following circumstances:

(1) Where there are conditions that present a significant risk to the child's health or safety.

(2) When the vehicle’s engine is running or the vehicle's keys are in the ignition, or both.

(b) A violation of subdivision (a) is an infraction punishable by a fine of one hundred dollars ($100),

Connecticut - (a) Any parent, guardian or person having custody or control, or providing supervision, of any child under the age of twelve years knowingly leaves such child unsupervised in a place for a period of time that presents a vehicle for a period of time that presents a substantial risk to the child's health or safety, shall be guilty of a Class A misdemeanor.
(b) Any parent, guardian or person having custody or control, or providing supervision, of any child under the age of twelve years knowingly leaves such child unsupervised in place of public accommodation, which holds a permit issued under chapter 545 of the general statutes for the sale of alcoholic liquor for consumption on the premises, for a period of time that presents a substantial risk to the child's health or safety, shall be guilty of a Class D felony.
(c) Any parent, guardian or person having custody or control, or providing supervision, of any child under the age of twelve years knowingly leaves such child unsupervised in place of public accommodation or motor vehicle between the hours of eight o'clock p.m. and six o'clock a.m. for a period of time that presents a substantial risk to the child's health or safety, shall be guilty of a Class C felony.


Florida - (1) No parent, legal guardian, or other person responsible for a child younger than 6 years of age shall leave such child unattended or unsupervised in a motor vehicle for a period in excess of 15 minutes; however, no such person shall leave a child unattended for any period of time if the motor vehicle is running or the health of the child is in danger.
(2) Any person who violates the provisions of subsection (1) is guilty of a noncriminal traffic infraction, punishable by a fine of:
(a) Not more than $100; or
(b) Not less than $50 and not more than $500 if the motor vehicle was running or the health of the child was in danger at the time of violation.


Hawaii Way too long and too convoluted to interpret:

http://www.capitol.hawaii.gov/sessioncurrent/bills/HB356_.htm



Illinois (a) It is unlawful for any person to willfully cause or permit the life or health of a child under the age of 18 to be endangered or to willfully cause or permit a child to be placed in circumstances that endanger the child's life or health.
(a-5) A person commits the offense of endangering the life or health of a child if he or she leaves a child unattended in a motor vehicle. For purposes of this subsection:

(1) There is a rebuttable presumption that a person committed the offense if he or she left a child unattended in a motor vehicle for more than 10 minutes .

(2) "Unattended" means either: (i) not accompanied by a person 14 years of age or older; or (ii) if accompanied by a person 14 years of age or older, out of sight of that person.
(b) A violation of this Section is a Class A misdemeanor. A second or subsequent violation of this Section is a Class 3 felony.

Lousiana B.(1) The term "unattended" as used in this Section means a
16 child who has been left in a motor vehicle when the driver or operator of the vehicle is more than ten feet from the vehicle and unable to continuously observe the child.

(2) The term "unsupervised" as used in this Section means an
unattended child when a person ten years of age or older is not
physically present in the motor vehicle.

C.(1) A law enforcement officer who observes a child left
unattended and unsupervised, for a period in excess of ten minutes, in violation of the provisions of this Section shall use whatever means arereasonably necessary to protect the child and remove the child from the motor vehicle.

(2) If the child is removed from the immediate area by a law
enforcement officer pursuant to the provisions of this Section, the law enforcement officer shall place notification on the motor vehicle. The law enforcement officer shall hold the child until the parent or guardian returns. The parent or guardian shall be issued a summons which carries a fine that shall not exceed twenty-five dollars.

Maryland Unattended Children.
Confinement in dwelling, building, enclosure, or motor vehicle.
(a) In general-A person who is charged with the care of a child under the age of 8 years may not allow the child to be locked or confined in a dwelling, building, enclosure, or motor vehicle while the person charged is absent and the dwelling, building, enclosure, or motor vehicle is out of sight of the personcharged unless the person charges provides a reliable person at least 13 years old to remain with the child to protect the child.
(b) Penalties for Violation- A person who violates this section is guilty of a misdemeanor and on conviction is subject to a fine not exceeding $500 or imprisonment not exceeding 30 days, or both.



Nebraska “Unattended in a motor vehicle”, as used in Section (1)(a), means either:

(i) not having a person in the motor vehicle who is eleven years of age or older accompanying the child, or

(ii) if accompanied by a person eleven years of age or older, out of sight of that person.

(4) “Minor child” means a person under the age of eighteen.

(5) Evidence that a person left a child six years of age or younger unattended in a motor vehicle for more than ten minutes shall be prima facie evidence of negligence as used herein.


Nevada This bill prohibits a parent, legal guardian or other person who is responsible for a child who is 7 years of age or younger from knowingly and intentionally leaving the child in a motor vehicle without the supervision of a person who is at least 12 years of age if: (1) the conditions present a significant risk to the health and
safety of the child; or (2) the engine of the motor vehicle is running or the keys to the vehicle are in the ignition. A person who violates this provision is guilty of a
misdemeanor. However, this bill allows a court to suspend the proceedings and dismiss the proceedings if the person completes an educational program satisfactory to the court. This bill further provides that the penalties of this provision do not apply if the person may be prosecuted under another provision of law. Thus, if the conduct of the parent, legal guardian or other person rises to the level of abuse or neglect of the child, this provision would not apply

Pennsylvania (a) General rule-A person driving or in charge of a motor vehicle may not permit a child under six years of age to remain unattended in the vehicle when the motor vehicle is out of the person's sight and under circumstances which endanger the health, safety, or welfare of the child.
(a.1) Applicability-This section shall apply to the highways and trafficways of this Commonwelath and, for the purpose of this section only, the tem "trafficways" shall include but not be limited to, parking lots.
(b) Penalty- A person who violates this section commits a summary offense.

Oklahoma - Cannot leave a child 6 or under (or vulnerable adult) if the conditions pose a risk, unless with a person who is mentally competant and is of the age of 12. Tennessee - all situations... unlawful to leave a child under 10 without supervision of someone 14 or older

Washington State... only unlawful to leave a child under the age of 16 in a vehicle if the motor is running .

and Texas, short and sweet...

Younger than 7 must not be left for more than 5 minutes without someone over the age of 14


So none of you live in the other 36 states I guess.
MTM - mom to Michael(84),Stephan(85), Thomas, Matthew and Kathryn - born 12/27/99 at 32w 0 days

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MSTAR
Wed Jul-30-08 05:25 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1789 posts


#364994, "RE: Wow. Most of you must live in the 14 states"
In response to Reply # 29

Unfortunately, I see it as 14 states having no choice but to enact laws to ensure the safety of minors because parents are so irresponsible as to leave them unattended in a vehicle, with the keys in the ignition, while watching a movie, just to get ice cream.

If people used common sense, then laws like this wouldn't even be on the books.

How easily could someone have jumped behind the wheel and taken off with those four little children while the mother was carrying 5 ice cream cones back to the car?

I guarantee you that if that happened, regardless of what state she was in, then she would have been charged with something and then her state would be enacting laws to protect young children from being left unattended in a vehicle.

It looks like you are in advocate for leaving small children unattended to me. Did you do this youself all the time when your kids were small? Is that it?
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d

Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005

www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com

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sandsstone
Wed Jul-30-08 08:33 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1061 posts


#365019, "RE: Wow. Most of you must live in the 14 states"
In response to Reply # 29

Hmmmm...In Maryland you can't go to the bathroom, in your own home, unless you take the child with you. You have to watch them nap. You have to watch them sleep at night.

Wow...parents must not sleep much in Maryland.

Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com


http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message

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foreveramom
Wed Jul-30-08 08:57 AM
Member since Jan 30th 2006
1073 posts


#365027, "RE: Wow. Most of you must live in the 14 states"
In response to Reply # 29


>Florida - (1) No parent, legal guardian, or other person
>responsible for a child younger than 6 years of age shall
>leave such child unattended or unsupervised in a motor vehicle
>for a period in excess of 15 minutes

Darn it. I wish I would have known this! I can think of at least 10 things to do with a very precious 15 minutes while I leave my kids safely strapped in their carseats in our front yard (on a cool evening, of course) -- take a bath, grab a quickie, finish the last chapter of a good book, scrapbook, etc.

Just joking, but what a crazy law that one is.
Mom of: Kristi(22), Kevin(19), Kelli(17), Angus(5) and GGB - Ruca, Nadia and Max (3) Born 10-14-04 at 34 weeks.
www.angusandthetriplets.com
also www.angusandthetriplets.blogspot.com

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foreveramom
Wed Jul-30-08 06:06 AM
Member since Jan 30th 2006
1073 posts


#364997, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

Let's just leave all "breaking laws" out of this for a moment. If just having to pay a fine is all you end up with, you're lucky.

Does this look familiar?

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=96f_1206456062 This woman left her baby in her SUV while she walked up to a fast-food pick-up window.
Mom of: Kristi(22), Kevin(19), Kelli(17), Angus(5) and GGB - Ruca, Nadia and Max (3) Born 10-14-04 at 34 weeks.
www.angusandthetriplets.com
also www.angusandthetriplets.blogspot.com

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TiffaniRay
Wed Jul-30-08 07:18 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3987 posts


#364999, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 34
Wed Jul-30-08 07:19 AM by TiffaniRay

I agree with you Lesa. Forget about the laws for a moment. Forget about the fines. Use common sense.

I didn't see any rude offensive comments on this thread so I am leaving it as is. I do see a lot of opinions and that is exactly what the OP asked for.

One more thing, just because your state does not have any "laws" in reference to unattended children in vehicles, doesn't mean they can't get you for something else, i.e., child neglect, child endangerment. There are also federal laws that can be used, I know, I have charged a few people with them.

ETA: Great website...

http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/people/injury/enforce/ChildrenAndCars/pages/contents.htm
Tiffani & Ray(NJ)



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LolasLadies
Wed Jul-30-08 08:54 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
939 posts


#365025, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 35

I also saw nothing offensive about the remarks, and I am a guilty party!

My "D'oh" moment: At the time, I (incorrectly) justified it as: I was in a rural gardening store parking lot with few customers, it was hot outside, and they were asleep in the air conditioning. The employee asked me if I was sure they'd be okay in the truck, and I started to wonder if they WERE going to be okay. I ended up excusing myself and telling the employee I would come back later without the kids.

I completely agree that the fines are there because they remind us that we shouldn't do it when we can't make the correct - and sometimes difficult - decision ourselves. There are obviously some situations that are more dangerous than others, but why even take the risk? If something had happened to the kids while I was out shopping for a stupid hibiscus plant (or ice cream) I would never have forgiven myself.
Lola's GGG 28-weekers born Jan.2005
Alison 2.3 Emma 2.2 Kristin 1.11
The world's least triplet-related triplet blog: http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com

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casanndra
Wed Jul-30-08 07:51 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
176 posts


#365003, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

I remember hearing a few years ago in my state about a man who left his son in the van and walked to the ATM 6-10 feet away. Someone jumped in and took his car with the son inside. The boy was missing for 5 hours before they found the car parked on a side low traffic street. The baby was still inside.

Luckily it was spring and not too hot or cold.
Kelli

Morgan (10) & natural (by natural I mean concieved on top of a picnic table at a campground) BBG triplets Eric, Josh, and Hannah born @ 33w1d





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joan1256
Wed Jul-30-08 08:12 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
224 posts


#365011, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Jul-30-08 08:25 AM by joan1256

I think everyone has a different 'comfort zone' when it comes to the safety of their children. I have a friend who told me she hovers over her child at the grocery store so no one will steal her. I don't do that. I'm comfortable walking a few feet away from my three in the grocery store to look at something in the aisles. They are always in my sight though.

I think we are a little too paranoid when it comes to this stuff. Yes, horrible things happen to children left in cars. But horrible things happens to children playing in the safest homes too. You cannot watch all three of your children every second of the day. And we all know it takes only seconds for a tragedy to happen. You can safeguard your child all you want, but there will always be a way for them to get hurt or worse. You can only do the best you can.

As far as the car thing goes, I am comfortable leaving my trio in buckled in their car seats, with the windows down slightly on a hot day, for a minute or so while they are in my line of sight. I NEVER leave the car running, I put the emergency brake on (which I know they cannot undo because it's really stiff) and I take the keys with me. I'm more worried about them getting out of their car seats, putting the car into neutral and letting it roll, but since the emergency brake is on, I know they can't and won't. I'm less worried that someone will brake into my locked 2005 Toyota Sienna van (with a large scratch down the side of it, BTW), hotwire it to start it and drive off with three screaming kids in the back seats all in the two minutes I'm not in the car. Besides, I just know they would drive them right back to me
Joan
mom to Caroline, Erin and Robbie
born 9/26/05 @ 35 weeks

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MelissaChicago
Wed Jul-30-08 08:12 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
200 posts


#365012, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

Last Christmas (or the one before, can't remember), a woman took her 3 older kids to drop money in a Salvation Army collection can and left her newborn sleeping in the car. They were within maybe 10-15 feet of the car at all times (can't remember exactly) and there were back within less than a minute. The police got involved and I don't remember the outcome, but I just remember feeling sorry for this poor woman. She was showing her other three children what philanthropy is all about, and got chastized and roasted by the public because of it. This was so obviously NOT a dangerous situation for the sleeping baby in the car. I do agree kids should never be left alone in cars with the keys, the doors should be LOCKED, the temp shouldn't be extreme either way, and it should be for the briefest of moments with the car in sight.

Anyway, what has the world come to when a mom can't teach her kids to donate to charity?

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fof
Wed Jul-30-08 08:33 AM
Member since Jun 23rd 2008
38 posts


#365020, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 40

o thank god! I was starting to think I was the only person with these opinions. I don't live in the US and I do live in a safe small community where crime is almost nil so I probably shouldn't even offer an opinion but..... I think what the two pp said are fair and reasonable. I think no matter how hard you try you can't protect your children from everyhing and I think in the long run it might end up frightening children. I'd hate to live somewhere where strapping your child into the car and running to get another was unsafe. I'm genuinely sorry for those of you who have to live with that fear.

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6BlueEyes
Wed Jul-30-08 09:30 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
373 posts


#365039, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 40

I remember that. A judge ended up throwing it out with "apologies" to that woman. It would have been nice if the policeman used some common sense. That child was not in danger and it just ended up costing the IL taxpayers a lot of money and that woman a huge inconvenience and I'm sure a lot of $.
Kelly
Ben, Jack & Drew 05/28/02
Charlie 07/06/06
Aunt to: Liam, Aidan & Connor 03/05/08
www.outnumberedmommy.blogspot.com

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lsmiller
Wed Jul-30-08 08:33 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
701 posts


#365021, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

Here is a very intersting website I came across:

http://www.kidsandcars.org/
Laraine
Mom to one beautiful Angel - Alexandra Whitney (7/28/03 - 7/31/03)
and two wonderful boys
Brian James & Charles Vincent 7/28/03 34wks4days


http://www.brianandcharlie.com/blog

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VonWasden
Wed Jul-30-08 09:09 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
2863 posts


#365032, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

I do this even today. Sometimes you just can't haul them all in. It's usally at the convenience store, with the car running, emergency brake on and the door locked. Mine are 6 and 4. Honestly, people just don't have to comment about everything all the time. It sounds like she was trying to be nice about it, thankfully she didn't report you. Try not to worry about it.
Kim
Nate, Nick & Noel(36w4d)and Nia.

http://www.tickercentral.com>


http://www.tickercentral.com>

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fulloffaith
Wed Jul-30-08 10:32 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
286 posts


#365056, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

Lisa,

The only time I have left my kids in the car was when I saw a garage sale and I only had 2 of them, one was home with Daddy. I parked by the house because I saw there were cribs for sale. It was later in the day and it wasnt crowded or anything so I jumped out and talked to the lady but the whole time I was looking back at my car which I had left running so they could have A/C. It made me so nervous so I say if it makes you feel bad, then you shouldn't be doing it. My DH and I talked about it and we agreed I would never do that again. Just to many what ifs like PP have said. Before we have kids we don't think about stuff like that but now that we do, we have to always consider the worst that can happen and do everything we can to make sure the worst doesnt happen to our kids. I am sure you feel bad now and will learn from it. That is what all of us should do. Thanks for the post, I think you made everyone question what they would do.
http://web.mac.com/klezon/Site/Welcome.html

Allison mommy to:
Annalise Marie 5.6, Isaac Mason 4.11 and Elijah Jaxon 5.9
Born 12/31/07, 34w3d



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StefMac2
Wed Jul-30-08 10:59 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
612 posts


#365066, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 48

This is an interesting discussion to me because I never go out alone and it is quite frustrating. I also live in NYC so I may be a little more fearful. For me to leave alone, I would have to load a baby into a car, leave them unattended, get the other, leave two unattended and get the third. Yes I wish I had a garage! I don't do it. I live in a gated community but I am too afraid. I ask a neighbor to watch the car or a family member. As far as going out, I have walked for a cart but only in the parking lot where I can see the cars and I am hoping by the time they are two, they can walk well enough.
If I go to my sister who lives in the suburbs, people leave their kids to nap in cars while they watch little league games and we can't believe it. I guess there are many people that feel that they live in a safe area so nothing can happen but that will never be me! There are so many times, I feel like telling people that predators do drive. They may not live in this neighborhood but they can live in one 5 minutes away. Crazy people can go into different neighborhoods.
Stefanie

Mom to Luke, Adriana, & Noah
33 weeks 6 days
3/3/07

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gracy3
Wed Jul-30-08 12:18 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2003 posts


#365095, "RE: Need to vent!"
In response to Reply # 0

While I in bring groceries into the house, I will often leave my kids asleep in my car in my driveway while I unload my groceries into the garage(less than 10 feet from the car) - I shut the ignition and open the windows (in the summer). If they are sound asleep, I will even empty the bags onto my pantry shelves/refigerator (which are in the garage). What is safer - leaving them asleep in the car or having them awake and alone in the house while I unload the car - or worse having them run aound the drveway while I unload the car? I am often alone when I go food shopping so I have have to choose the lesser of the evils.

Do I let my kids go out in my fenced in and gate locked yard - yes -with some precaution - if I am in the basement (which is right off the yard) and the door is left open - the kids are always in my sight/earshot. Do I let them go out in the yard while I am upstairs cooking - heck no! We have a family on our block - there are 3 kids ranging from age 2-10. These kids are outside running in the streets constantly - with the 10 yr as adult supervision. I am so petrified that I am going to run one over as they often hide behind or under cars on the block or dark out from behind cars. It is a miracle that one of them has not been seriously hurt. My kids have played "out front" once this summer - that was with DH, my aunt, DB and myself out there- other than that - my kids play in the yard.

Have I returned my cart (3-4 spaces away) after I buckle my kids into the car? Of course- who hasn't? Have I gone to get a cart with them in the car - not usually, but that is only becase they walk well in a parking lot - if it were safer for me to get a cart and load them at my car - I would do it that way. Have I used an Outdoor ATM that I can practically drive right up to - in a pinch, yes I have- I always make sure the car is off, I have the keys and the car is locked.

If I have to go to the pharmacy either the kids go inside with me or if they are sick, my pharmacist comes out to get my scripts and then brings them back out when they are ready so I can stay in the car with the kids.

When I am in a store, my kids are in my cart or holding on to it as we walk togather - it is also a pet peeve of mine when kids run around a store unattended.

All that being said, I can't tell you how many times I'd kill for a latte, but won't get it because I will not leave the kids in the car to go into a Starbucks - that is beyond the boundary- if I am that desperate, I will take them inside with me or drive a few extra blocks out of the way to a drive-through Dunkin Donuts. I will not "run in" to pick up my dry cleaning - the key point here is "run in" - if I have to enter a building even if the store is empty or there is no line - that is beyond the boundary.

Every situation is different - as parents we do what we believe is good for our kids and try to do so with some level of common sense. I do believe the mom who started this original post did not believe she was putting her kids in harms way - else she would not have done it - perhaps she as well as many of us will think twice next time we consider the boundaries after hearing many different takes on the situation.

Just my .02

Gracy
BGG (9/18/04 @ 31 weeks) and G (3/6/06 at 38 weeks)...
Save the babies!
www.marchforbabies.org/4littlesplinters

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