I see this one getting nasty

I'm going to go blow, er kiss my husband how for being a real man.

DidUsay3 Tue Jun-08-10 04:07 PM
Member since Nov 12th 2008
202 posts

#466979, "I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!"


I think it is time to hear from DAD’s point of view.

My wife and I share this account. You can typically point out who is posting. Her questions/comments are smart ones. Mine are … well the opposite.

I am here to be the voice of a DAD. I’m not like many of the good DADs. I’m more like the crappy DAD (when it comes to baby duties).

Our trio is almost 14 months now, and boy has it been tough! The toughest thing I’ve EVER been involved in. I’ve played all sports, went to the military, went to college, etc. and none of it compares to raising triplets during the first 5 years.

First of all, I honestly think that men are not wired with parenting skills from ages 0 – 5 years old. They way I see it:

-Diaper changing: People warned me I would eventually get use to it. Well, folks, we’re now 14 months into this, and I’m NOT use to it. I still gag when I see/smell the poop. I honestly try and avoid the babies when they poop. If I smell something before my wife does, I go into panic mode. I typically act like I have to take a shower, go get the mail, take out the trash, cut the grass, or whatever else I can think of at the time. The goal is to ensure I’m not there when my wife discovers the poop. The goal is for her to say to herself, “Oh, well what do you know… the baby pooped. My hubby is busy cutting the grass. I better change it.” I don’t want to anywhere near the babies at poop time for fear that I will have to change them.

-Timing: In fact, I’ve even been able to sometimes TIME their schedule. I know that within the first 10 – 15 minutes after meals, they poop. Or, typically once they awake in the morning, the poop follows by about 15 minutes. So, I try to ensure I’m not in the vicinity at those times. It’s called “Smart Planning.”

-Still on the Poop thing: But… there are those times where I have no choice but to change the poopy diapers. Wipes are used in abundance with any triplet family but even more so in our family. As part of my prep, I pull out 20 to 25 wipes PER CHILD. I am not taking any chances. The poop monster might get me. I’m in survival mode! While un-strapping the diapers, I’m cursing up a storm… typically something like, “Oh crap… here we go. Son-of-B***H. I know this is going to be a real F***ing” mess.” Then once the diapers are fully undone and the poop is in plain view, the cursing gets louder and more intense, “Mother F***. How does one child S**T so much!” Then the calling to God kicks in, “Oh Lord, help me. Please help me!” I’ll be honest with you, I’m NOT proud of myself. I have to learn to control my behavior while changing diapers. I know this. Please keep your hate-mail responses to yourselves. I know my mouth is bad when changing diapers. Luckily, the kids don’t understand yet.

-Babysitting: Moving onto to babysitting now… My wife is the stay-at-home-mom. But of course, she needs her time alone every now and then. But if I have to be alone with the three poopers, I mean, my three lovely babies, for more than an hour and a half, she usually gives me fair warning, “Honey, on Saturday, I’m going to need you to watch the babies while I go shopping with Sally all day.” That statement alone sends chills up my spine. Honestly. I start to shake. I start to sweat. I get stomach butterflies. I’m in full panic mode. And let me tell you, Thursday and Friday is ruined for me. I’m a wreck on those days leading up to Saturday. I know what is in store for me.

-Saturday – The day arrives: Mommy kisses the babies goodbye and leaves. The babies and l watch her walk out the door. We all run to the window and watch her drive off. She’s gone. We all continue to stare down the empty driveway. Simultaneously, we all look at each other. I’m staring into the eyes of three, 14 month old babies. It’s quiet for about 5 seconds as we stare at each other. The first ones bottom lip shakes… then the second, then the third. Then in perfect sync… “WWWAAAAAA!!!!” Oh hell, what do I do!? I’ll tell you, from that moment on, I’m in my worst nightmare. Screaming babies that poop often. They don’t understand me so I can’t speak to them. And I don’t care what anyone says… 14 month old babies don’t understand English yet. I can only say “Dada” “Mama” “Baba” so many times to them. That is the extent of their vocabulary. I can only lift up each of their toys so many times. So what else is there to do with three screaming 14 month olds? Well, thank God for hiding-go-seek, airplane rides, bed jumping, and snacks. If it wasn’t for those things, I don’t know what I would do. By the time mommy gets home, the babies are exhausted, bellies full of food that wasn’t on mommy’s “food list,” and probably all have diaper rashes from my lack of frequent diaper changes.

Folks, the bottom line is, we men (most men) become excellent fathers once the kids hit approximately 5 years old. By then, we can talk to them, reason with them, take them out to play, take them out fishing, take them to the movies and most importantly, the kids can wipe their own butts!

I don’t understand the “WWWWAAAA” language. I don’t know what they are crying for… During a WWWAAA session, I typically mimic what mommy does. I hand them the sippy cup, I pick them up and hold them, I hand them a toy, I check the diaper, I baby talk them… I do all the things mommy does but it doesn’t change the outcome. The “WWWAAA” is still there. These tools work for mommy, but not daddy.

I will admit, I can’t handle the poopy diaper. Does that make me less of a man? Heck no! I can still change the oil in my car faster than most mommies!

Cradling baby… will I do it? Yes. Do I enjoy it? No. I’d rather take the kid fishing than rocking him to sleep. But he’s only 14 months old. So I’ll have to cradle him instead, even though I look and feel like a big dork. I always feel like I’m going to drop a baby or crush a baby. I am man. I am not gentle! Gentle was a trait that was left out of our genetic map.

So ladies, if you have a man like me… just understand that our time in the sun will come. We will get better. But from ages 0- 5, have patience with us. We try. Our methods may not be found in Parenting Magazine, but we try. And if you have a man that is complete opposite than me, consider yourself lucky.




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Replies to this topic

RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!, Rick-Carole, Jun 08th 2010, #1
RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!, quadmom121203, Jun 08th 2010, #2
RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!, StarburstX, Jun 08th 2010, #3
RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!, rhmaxx, Jun 08th 2010, #4
RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!, 1plustriplets, Jun 08th 2010, #5
RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!, madmolly, Jun 08th 2010, #6
RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!, StarburstX, Jun 08th 2010, #8
RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!, Tasha, Jun 08th 2010, #7
RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!, akcmachine, Jun 08th 2010, #9



Rick-Carole Tue Jun-08-10 05:44 PM
Member since Oct 30th 2008
430 posts

#466988, "RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!"
In response to Reply # 0


ROFLOL !!!

Well aside from the diaper issue, I can relate well to the Saturday-what-to-do? Ours are almost 14 months, so we're in pretty much the same boat.

As for changing poopy diapers, that's never really bothered me in the slightest. I guess when the babies came along, it really hit me that someone once changed me in the same manner many years ago. And because there are three babies and someone always seems to need changed, I cannot expect my dw to do so much.

But I laughed out loud at your 25 baby wipe preparation!!! When the kiddos were just a few months old, we had one that could shoot it clean across the room with accuracy the moment he knew his diaper was off, and that was when I used to have the whole package of baby wipes ready. But it's pretty easy these days.

Thanks for the laughs in your post..... it's easy to relate to much of it!

Rick






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quadmom121203 Tue Jun-08-10 06:06 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1387 posts

#466989, "RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!"
In response to Reply # 0


I swear this post could have been written by my husband!!!!

The only difference would be when he changed poop diapers (which by the way only happened 3 times) he would usually have to run to the bathroom and vomit mid-change. LOL VERY weak stomach!!!!

I will say, they are 6 now and he is much more involved. Plays outside with them, wrestles, rides bikes, plays video games, catch, soccer...all that stuff. It is nice to have the break now that they are getting older.

Dawn

Mom to Samantha, Jeremy, Paige and Christian

Born 12/12/03 @ 31w 2d



http://lovinglifewithquads.blogspot.com




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StarburstX Tue Jun-08-10 07:27 PM
Member since Jun 03rd 2010
14 posts

#467002, "RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!"
In response to Reply # 0


My husband was a defensive lineman middle guard football player and he has never been a whiner. He has taken all of our kids with him everywhere since they were babies. Never even used a stroller. He never cared about changing diapers or vacumming vomit with a ShopVac either.

I will go kiss him now for never using my account on here.




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rhmaxx Tue Jun-08-10 07:42 PM
Member since Sep 20th 2009
69 posts

#467009, "RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!"
In response to Reply # 0


Thank you for the huge laugh. I really needed it tonight.



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1plustriplets Tue Jun-08-10 08:04 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
269 posts

#467017, "RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!"
In response to Reply # 0


I'm going to try and be nice here.

At least as nice as I can be.

I realize that some of this was written for laughs. It was funny. But I've been a single Mom for 5 years and the big part of the reason why was because my ex could not handle anything. I was a SAHM. I loved that job. I got to be with all 4 of my girls all day everyday. But I needed those breaks on Sat. NEEDED them for my sanity. And that day was met with so much grumbling, complaining, whining about having to do it that I pretty much gave up that time.

Not wired for changing diapers? Really? And I am because I have a uterus? I'm wired to stay home day in and day out with never a break because I have vagina?

You are supposed to have balls. Use them and change the damn diapers. And cradle your kids and all those awful things that have to be done until the kiddos turn 5 and you can take them fishing.

Because if you continue to let your wife do it all, by the time your kids turn 5 you will be taking them fishing on your every other weekend visitation.

Kristina
divorced MOM
Megan 7/26/00 Blessed Adoption
Abigail, Brigid, Caroline 6/28/03 IVFers 34w3d

www.tripletsplus1.blogspot.com




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madmolly Tue Jun-08-10 08:21 PM
Member since Oct 07th 2005
2842 posts

#467018, "RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!"
In response to Reply # 5


"Because if you continue to let your wife do it all, by the time your kids turn 5 you will be taking them fishing on your every other weekend visitation."

Amen!

Lea

BGG 28.3 weekers

http://mccarthymayhem.blogspot.com/




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StarburstX Tue Jun-08-10 08:28 PM
Member since Jun 03rd 2010
14 posts

#467020, "RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!"
In response to Reply # 5


Seriously. You rock, Kristina.

I can't tell you how many of my friends are divorced because their husband's penises prevented them from being fathers.



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Tasha Tue Jun-08-10 08:27 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2290 posts

#467019, "RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!"
In response to Reply # 0


I didn't know you could babysit your own offspring. If you are the babysitter if your wife the daycare worker?

Tasha
Julia, Megan and Alex 7/00
Abby 12/02




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akcmachine Tue Jun-08-10 09:11 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1022 posts

#467025, "RE: I am DAD! Hear me ROAR!"
In response to Reply # 0


How funny and yet how sad that you are missing out on some of the greatest ways to please your wife with your pants on. Can you imagine the absolute orgasmic joy she would have if you stepped up and acted like a parent rather than a babysitter.

This post while entertaining, makes me completely thankful that my husband and father of six takes pride in his ability to be a daddy. He has never once complained about diapers, markers on his leather couch, or any other child related BS.

BTW, it is really simple to created a TC account, just ask MSTAR, she has done it repeatidly after being banned. Ooops, you can't ask her since she is not on this site anymore- or is she?


Helene, mom of Amanda, Mitchell, our trio: Eli, Natalie, and CJ the 28 weekers and Baby Charlotte

www.heleneslutsky.blogspot.com



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