Once again Jeff and Janet protect the newbie that comes and upsets the community as a whole but the long term members that dare speak out for the group who are obviously upset get banned. Yes, some members are more vocal and sometimes more harsh. But emotions come out. Jeff and Janet always seem to protect the newbie and not consider who has been on TC for YEARS helping and supporting many. Does the one who comes in offending and posting strange things from the jump deserve the protection? Honestly Jeff/Janet whoever is doing the banning this time you really should use your search feature and read Roe's posts from the start. She is ALL about the drama. Oh wait that won't work. You pulled most of the evidence. duh, silly me.
nermeen Thu May-27-10 12:08 AM
Member since Feb 12th 2009
55 posts
#466000, "About someone"
Thu May-27-10 12:14 AM by nermeen
She didn't have to go through a painful pregnancy worrying about the many issues women here had to worry about... she never had to take any magnesium shots- she never had to be on bed rest at the hospital... being poked and prodded all day long by nurses and doctors- she didn't have to hate her life being confined to that bed with bathroom privileges... she didn't have to sleep alone at night - she didn't have to miss falling asleep in her hubby's arms... didn't have to miss him even... she did not have to obsessively talk about the safety arrival of her babies every single minute of the day- she didn't have to get all crazy with posts, searching online for endless endless hours about other mothers who've delivered micropreemies, just to acquaint herself if just in case something happens, didn't have to obsessively see pictures of other babies the same size of those that were currently in her belly- even accidentally seeing aborted babies... but at least they looked human, sad but human... she didn't have to be paranoid about whether every kick or move would bring about labor... didn't have to obsessively check for blood every time she felt moist, dull or achey down there(ofcourse she didn't need to run to the bathroom, there was a box of tissues conveniently located right beside her bed and a trash basket...)
she didn't have to put up with disgusting hospital food... didn't have to force feed herself to the point of throwing up sometimes, because sometimes you think you feel if you just eat more, they'll stay in...
She didn't have to feel like she failed when the doctors told her, hey we're having a birthday today you're 3 cm dilated at 29 weeks... she didn't have to hysterically cry throughout the whole procedure... .....................................................................
she didn't have to force herself to get up after her c-section by 2 hours to go see her babies for the first time... didnt think they were so small... that belly was huge huh... she didn't have to break down when she saw small skinny boney little tiny hands, feet, head and body in the isolette... covered with the purple mask- under bili lights... she didn't have to not touch them just yet... heart being broken over and over again... with the confusion, frustration, disappointment, resentment, sadness and hopelessness- she did not have to feel that at all... she didn't have to think of " its when i carried the laundry from the bedroom to the living room that did it, i didn't take my prenatals everyday, i was supposed to do 3 portions of protein, i didn't do it everyday...etc"
She didn't have to cry every time she ate anything after the delivery of her babies, because she really ate for their sake, no other reason...
she didn't have to basically live in the NICU...
she didn't have to see each of her babies poked for glucose tests every other day, didn't have to see her tiny tiny baby hooked up to 10,000 wires... she didn't have to hear anything about a PDA, Blood infiltrate, Blood transfusion, Hypospadius, Right Inguinal Hernia, Necrotizing enterocolitis, Anemia, fluid restriction, Lasix, NPO for 12 hr blocks, Water Retention, spells, C-PAP, Follow O2 saturation levels...etc...etc...etc....etc
she didn't have to run to the monitor that was blinking red to wake her baby up, didn't have to avoid coming near/touching/or even looking at one of her babies isolettes, because they were so sensitive their monitors would go off...
She didn't have to make a sign and hang it on each of her child's isolette requesting to PLEASE call me when you are changing the tubes so I can see my baby's face- even though we were there 24/7... didnt get obsessed with weights and food intake every minute of the day... god... i can just go on and on...
my fried lost her triplets at 17 weeks 0 days... it's been over a year and she is still devastated... as hundreds of other triplet moms that have lost their children, just because, not for any reason, but that of luck. Thank god my friend didn't read her post...
we should not expect her to know how it feels... we expected her to sympathize... but she didn't.
You just don't know unless you've been there and done that.
Thankfully she didn't have to... and kudos to her she can go through this life stepping on people's emotions and being able to sleep at night knowing there are less fortunate people and children out there... it shouldn't make us angry, but it should make us sad for her... because everyday we wake up to our babies faces and thank god and are grateful and know god it could have been worse, but because he's merciful he's given us strength to endure it, gave us hope, gave us power and even implanted more love into our hearts for our children... because you really do love something you could have lost forever even more.
Those kids did not come easy and no they are not still here because of something right we did- how dare anyone?
Roe, good luck to you and your children.
Mom to BBB triplets born on 6/24/09 @ 29 weeks
spent 2 months in NICU
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Replies to this topic
RE: About someone, Kealoha12, May 27th 2010, #1
RE: About someone, lsmiller, May 27th 2010, #2
RE: About someone, asmaio, May 27th 2010, #3
RE: About someone, Kealoha12, May 27th 2010, #4
RE: About someone, Crystal, May 27th 2010, #5
RE: About someone, mellyb10, May 27th 2010, #6
RE: About someone, moochie, May 27th 2010, #7
RE: About someone, Suzan33, May 27th 2010, #9
RE: About someone, cbmc, May 27th 2010, #8
RE: About someone, SAReece, May 27th 2010, #10
RE: About someone, sandsstone, May 27th 2010, #11
RE: About someone, jeannies7, May 27th 2010, #12
RE: About someone, lsmiller, May 27th 2010, #13
RE: About someone, LolasLadies, May 27th 2010, #14
Kealoha12 Thu May-27-10 12:40 AM
Member since Jan 11th 2008
1263 posts
#466006, "RE: About someone"
In response to Reply # 0
OMG, this just made me cry.
What was it that Lea said so eloquently the other week, about God being wise and giving us what He knows we can handle? I firmly believe that.
Grace
B 06/03/03
BBB 05/24/08
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lsmiller Thu May-27-10 12:44 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1081 posts
#466007, "RE: About someone"
In response to Reply # 0
Wow - made me cry too.
http://www.brianandcharlie.com/blog
^Alexandra^, Brian, Charlie 07/28/2003
[/
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asmaio Thu May-27-10 12:53 AM
Member since Sep 09th 2008
677 posts
#466008, "RE: About someone"
In response to Reply # 0
I do agree that sometimes people go too far. I thought some went to far with Roe when she posted about keeping her appearance and house up after the babies came. But she kept responding, so it obviously didn't upset her too much.
But when she comes and posts, a day before her 37-week c-section, and implies that she is a good mother because she made it to 37 weeks, and that all you have to do is listen to your doctors and pray to god, that is a slap in the face. Was I offended? Not personally, because I know that I am the best mom I can be, and there is not one single thing I could have done during my pregnancy to change the outcome.
But, she did not consider her audience, so she deserved the harsh responses she received after that post. It is the same as the idiotic people who say "those things happen to OTHER people", never realizing we are all "other people" to somebody else. It would be the same if I came on this site and said that my husband and I obviously love each more than the many other husbands/wives on this site because we were actually able to conceive triplets spontaneously; all you need is a lot of love, right? It is one thing to be happy that you made it to 36 weeks - it is another to claim that you are a better mother because of it.
Every day when I am out with my girls, I look at my stupid double stroller and I want to cry. I hate that we can fit through most doors, I hate that we are not falling off the sidewalk as we walk down the street. I hate that there is an empty third seat in the middle row of the car that is too big for us now. I hate how I subconsciously re-position us when we are playing to make sure there isn't an empty spot where Caitlin should be. I hate that when we moved last month, "Did you get Caitlin" meant "did you remember to take her urn?". I hate that I have the memory of my husband sobbing as he held her in the recovery room burned into my brain.
If you want to ban those who "attacked" her after that post, well fine. But she needed to understand that she isn't a better mother, and that she did things no differently than anybody else. She was lucky. There's a reason average gestation for triplets is 32 weeks, and it's not because there's a buttload of bad moms out there. And after saying "whatever, I don't care" to Laraine's post regarding the loss of her Alexandra, she doesn't deserve your protection. She's obviously wearing her big girl panties and can take care of herself.
Amy
Mom to Julia, ^Caitlin^ & Gabrielle
http://onealaskanmom.wordpress.com
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Kealoha12 Thu May-27-10 12:57 AM
Member since Jan 11th 2008
1263 posts
#466009, "RE: About someone"
In response to Reply # 3
Amy, that's two days in a row you made me cry--I read your letter to your girls on mother's day, and now this. Your girls are so lucky to have you.
Grace
B 06/03/03
BBB 05/24/08
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Crystal Thu May-27-10 04:55 AM
Member since May 27th 2008
1236 posts
#466011, "RE: About someone"
In response to Reply # 3
Amy - I love what you wrote and I can relate to it in a different way because everytime I see my 3 together, I think about how Olivia has fought her way through her very short life. After two open hear surgeries and numerous hospitalizations, I am never too comfortable and always keenly aware that my three can become two in the blink of an eye. My heart aches for all mothers who will never have a chance to get to know their babies, and to watch them grow up. But it especially aches for my fellow moms/dads of multiples, who have daily reminders that a part of their family is forever absent. This board is as much a support group for parents of preemies as it is multiples. And that's why so many of us get offended. We did all we could and our journeys have been challenging. Those challenges made me a better person and a better mother.
Crystal
http://familycernanec.blogspot.com/
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mellyb10 Thu May-27-10 06:50 AM
Member since May 27th 2010
1 posts
#466014, "RE: About someone"
In response to Reply # 0
That made me cry too.
I was very lucky to carry my boys to 35 weeks. It was not because I did anything special or different than my friend who carried her boys to 29 weeks. And even at 35 weeks, I still questioned if God was punishing me for something. For someone to insinuate that she is a better mother because she went to 37 weeks is ridiculous. It's just dumb luck for her.
As for keeping up with her apperance and her house, good luck with that. I used to have a clean house and wore clean clothes everyday. I carried my planner with me every where before kids. My favorite ultrasound tech looked at it one day and said I should just get over it now because I won't have time to worry about all of that. And she was right. But I wouldn't trade the bags under my eyes, bone tired body, messy house, forgotten appointments for anything in the world. And when my kids are grown, they aren't going to remember any of that either. They are going to remember the mom that got down in the dirt and played with them because she didn't care about her clothes. They are going to remember the mom that read one more story at night instead of one more load of laundry. They are going to remember the mom that had impromptu picnics on paper plates because the dish washer wasn't run. They are going to remember mom bending over to give an extra hug instead of bending over to clean the toilet. They are going to remember that their toys were meant to be played with instead of sitting on a shelf in their perfect spot.
Does it bother me that I'm not who I used to be, sure. But the person I am now is a whole lot more fun and appreciates the three gifts I've been given.
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moochie Thu May-27-10 07:19 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
775 posts
#466017, "RE: About someone"
In response to Reply # 6
>But I wouldn't trade the bags under my eyes, bone tired body, messy
>house, forgotten appointments for anything in the world. And
>when my kids are grown, they aren't going to remember any of
>that either. They are going to remember the mom that got down
>in the dirt and played with them because she didn't care about
>her clothes. They are going to remember the mom that read one
>more story at night instead of one more load of laundry. They
>are going to remember the mom that had impromptu picnics on
>paper plates because the dish washer wasn't run. They are
>going to remember mom bending over to give an extra hug
>instead of bending over to clean the toilet. They are going
>to remember that their toys were meant to be played with
>instead of sitting on a shelf in their perfect spot.
>Does it bother me that I'm not who I used to be, sure. But
>the person I am now is a whole lot more fun and appreciates
>the three gifts I've been given.
Excellent, EXCELLENT points!
Jessica
http://lilypie.com>
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Suzan33 Thu May-27-10 08:42 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1463 posts
#466030, "RE: About someone"
In response to Reply # 7
I understand this post completely and I understand why people are upset but why keep bringing it up? This is kind of what I brought up in the last post. People are going to say things that you don't like,why are you letting her bother you so much? Will you ever meet the mentioned person, probably not.
Was I offended by the original post, yes and no. I had my kids at 24 weeks and luckily they are all healhty and with me today. Did I do something right or wrong? No, but others may feel like I did but I don't let it bother me. I am happy with what I do (and) did as a mother. So let them have a perfect house (mine is almost since it is for sale). Let them have great hair (mine is doen everyday and not in a pony tail). Let them have their nails done, beds made, floors clean, clothes clean (mine are clean and stain free).
You all know that she is not going to fully apologize. Don't respond to the posts but let others help if they want to.
Suzan
g/g/b August 21, 2005
my miracle 24 weekers!!!!
""
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cbmc Thu May-27-10 08:41 AM
Member since Aug 28th 2009
67 posts
#466029, "RE: About someone"
In response to Reply # 0
So true and so sad-your post made me cry and made me angry (at her, again!)
I was one of those who had a horrible pregnancy- PTL and hospitalization starting at 16 weeks; being told all three likely had Down Syndrome following the nuchal test then a horrific CVS after which we were told that my daughter would die in utero as she had mosaic Trisomy 10; at 24 weeks being told my son had enlarged ventricles and would be brain damaged; more than a month in the hospital on all the PTL drugs; being away from my one year old and my husband in a hospital an hour away. Then having to deliver because 3 NICU beds opened up when I was 34 weeks along and the doctors were afraid if I went into labor in the blizzard raging outside they couldn't get the babies to another NICU. Sitting in the NICU wondering what would happen to my little guy, if I would be able bring him home... ..and I did everything I could apparently except will myself enough to have healthy 37 weekers.
I could not have survived my pregnancy and the first couple years if not for the support of TC members who kept me going- gave me great advice, a laugh or a shoulder if I needed it.
I am angry that some of those women who helped me when I needed it have been banned or reprimanded because some sanctimonious idiot came on here looking for a fight and offended so many with her callous words- why isn't she banned. Her posts have done nothing to encourage other triplet moms and dads- she needs to go, not Michele.
I wrote Janet after the last time we had an instigator come on here and inflame our group- I was disgusted that those of us who were offended got silenced, not the woman who wrote hurtful and insulting posts- she was given the benefit of the doubt, not the dues paying backbones of this site.
Enough is enough- the Roes have to GO!
Trudy
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SAReece Thu May-27-10 09:07 AM
Member since May 11th 2009
661 posts
#466031, "RE: About someone"
In response to Reply # 0
Very well said. I was a "big person" and told her congrats and sorry that they had to have time in the NICU and she said "No need to be sorry about the NICU." Now... I had 36 weekers, my smallest was 3oz smaller than her biggest and he had to be in the NICU for a couple of days. We are talking what they called the 35 week NICU. I have been to the real NICU with my best friend (her daughter was a 24 weeker) and its NO WHERE near the same. I broke down at his bedside hours after my c-section when I first saw him... he was not really that critical but it was a HUGE deal for me. And *I* got lucky. I was heart broken seeing my son like that and *I* was one of the lucky ones not to have to see their babies literally fighting and struggling for every single breath they take... I just don't get it. I know that it was nothing but sheer luck that I carried that long, I am guessing just for the reason you guys said, I am not strong enough to be a real NICU mom (I am not being sarcastic, I am being as serious as I can be.)
This post will be deleted too I am sure... You all rock. There is no real benefit to being able to carry 3 babies almost full term if you don't have any good charecteristics to go along with it... all that makes her is a walking uterus of steel, not a good mom, not a good person, just a body able to gestate, big freaking whoop.
Oh and to bring my claws out a little, I think she should totally keep going to her salon and trying to beautify herself... she needs all the help she get. Things that make ya go BLECHHHHHHHH
Shely~ Mom to 1+GGB
http://thehansontriplets.blogspot.com/
http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/TeamLilyGrace
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sandsstone Thu May-27-10 09:19 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3149 posts
#466034, "RE: About someone"
In response to Reply # 10
Your post reminded me of another HOM who is often in the news...who managed to carry a LOT more than triplets.. She also seems to go get her hair and nails done, and also managed to sneak a TT in (and deny it).
Just interesting to note the similarities.
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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jeannies7 Thu May-27-10 09:38 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
101 posts
#466037, "RE: About someone"
In response to Reply # 0
I've looked & couldn't find the post you guys are talking about; maybe it was deleted? I don't know what was said, but I feel so badly for all of you that were hurt by what seems to have been a very insensitive person.
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lsmiller Thu May-27-10 09:45 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1081 posts
#466038, "RE: About someone"
In response to Reply # 12
It's all here:
http://pulledontc.blogspot.com/
http://www.brianandcharlie.com/blog
^Alexandra^, Brian, Charlie 07/28/2003
[/
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LolasLadies Thu May-27-10 09:49 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
2246 posts
#466039, "RE: About someone"
In response to Reply # 13
Every time that link pops up, I get all warm and fuzzy.
Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks
Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com
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