Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459710, "Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your brain"
Hey ladies,
I'm 28 weeks pregnant, and I've had a pretty good pregnancy so far. I've spent my pregnancy keeping my house clean, and myself well groomed. I've been adamant not to let the house or myself go. I know that when the babies come, it will unleash chaos. How do you ladies keep your homes clean, and yourselves looking presentable?
I know that it must be difficult, but I also know that everything is possible with a strong power of will. I'm really interested in tips, and things that helped you guys stay on top of things, while still spending time with your babies.
Thanks in advance!
Roe
28 Weeks pregnant with the Triad.
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RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..., Cat Ford, Mar 22nd 2010, #1
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Cat Ford Mon Mar-22-10 02:41 PM
Member since Jan 04th 2010
60 posts
#459711, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
I get up an hour before the babies/kids do (after age 3 months of babies, minimum - before that, survival only - when in NICU, let it ALL go) and I shower and do a little make-up so I don't feel so frumpy. I clean up the house (each day of the week is a different chore, it is not possible to do a full cleaning all in one go - Tuesday toilets, Wednesday dust, that kind of thing) and start laundry. I also do my floors, vacuum, in that time because I have a coated dog and I can't stand the idea of the babies being on a dirty floor. Then everyone is up and all bets are off.
I also put away toys before naps and at bedtime, it helped me feel like my home wasn't a daycare.
I can NOT wear nice clothing at all, I live in jeans/sweatshirts/T's, the babies urp all over you and pull constantly at your clothing stretching it out. There's just no point in ruining good clothes these first years. I also keep my long hair in a ponytail everyday to keep it out of baby hands - unknotting it from spitty fists x's 3 stinks.
All that being said, I realize that pressuring myself to have these things done doesn't always make me the best Mommy, but it is part of my personality and I'm learning how to make it work. I do look the part of a mommy, but having a little eye make-up on each day makes me feel pretty. Doing a chore each day keeps it from piling up and if someone wants to drop-by, there's no stress because it feels like the house is maintained.
Catherine
Bri, Mikayla, Tristan 3/09 (32.2)
Sage 10/06
Hunter 11/04
Matisse (CH Siberian Husky, Agility)
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roe Mon Mar-22-10 04:48 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459739, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 1
Thank you. You are the only one who actually gave some tips, instead of being judgmental.
I definitely agree that tackling the entire house in one day is a bad idea. Even now, I do different tasks each day, and in this way the house stays clean.
Thanks again.
Roe
28 weeks pregnant with the Triad
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asmaio Mon Mar-22-10 07:03 PM
Member since Sep 09th 2008
580 posts
#459765, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 14
Okay I will respond before I read all the other "judgmental" comments.
I don't clean my house. I wash their bottles and bowls after meal times (sometimes I just pop them in the dishwasher, depends on my mood). Dishes are always put in the dishwasher after meals. I do the laundry once a week, usually on a different day from the girls'. I vacuum once a week, if I remember, and usually that is only 1) because I notice lots of dog hair on them while they're playing on the floor and feel bad, or 2) the therapist is coming over and I don't want her covered in dog hair.
I shower every day. Even when they were infants, I'd shower every day. I do it during nap time when I can. Sometimes that's not possible, simply because we have to be out too early. If they wake up when I'm in the shower and aren't happy in their cribs - they can be unhappy (this of course doesn't apply if it's the "Mom, mom, come quick I'm being murdered!" scream). I feel dirty if I don't shower, and then I feel ugly and gross, and my already low self-esteem starts to plummet even more, and I am just not good for anything or anybody on those days. So. . .10 minutes to shower is not too much time to take for myself, I don't think. I usually just wear jeans, and either just clip back my hair or pull it into one of those messy half pony-tails.
That being said, before I had kids I didn't clean, and I didn't wear make-up, and I always wore jeans. So, that wasn't such a big change. I guess if you're really a make-up, dress-up kind of person, I'm not being much help!
Oh, but my girls weren't spitters, so my clothes never got dirty from spit up.
Amy
Julia, ^Caitlin^ (stillborn due to encephalocele complications) & Gabrielle
30 weeks, 2 days
We're Marching for Babies!
http://www.marchforbabies.org/asmaio
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SAReece Mon Mar-22-10 02:47 PM
Member since May 11th 2009
509 posts
#459712, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
I may be out of the norm, but I dont... excuse me, I CAN'T keep the house up and myself up too. Its usually one of the other and sometimes neither. The house is not filthy, but its not as clean as I would like it. Me... ugh... My hair has been in a pony tail every single day since the babies were born because its fast, easy and out of my face and I dont have to mess with it blow drying and straightening, I rarely wear make up, hell I am lucky to have a clean shirt on! The best advice I have is to have realistic expectations or you will be very disappointed... that and work fast!
Shely~ Mom to 1+GGB
http://thehansontriplets.blogspot.com/
http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/TeamLilyGrace
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pyjammy Mon Mar-22-10 03:00 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1314 posts
#459716, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
Frankly, I've never been the type to keep myself nor my house impeccible, but I did make it a priority to shower and wash my hair every day. Even if I ended up back in pajamas, at least I was clean.
My mom is what saved my house from being a complete pit. She'd come and do laundry and mop and all that fun stuff.
Pam
Identical BBB triplets born 12/4/07 at 33w2d
http://www.pyjammy.com
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roe Mon Mar-22-10 07:09 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459767, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 3
I agree that having family around to help is a life saver. I have an aunt coming down to help me with the babies, and the house. I was also thinking about cooking up several meals before the c section and freezing them so that I can just pop them in the oven, and have some food cooked.
Thanks for your response
Roe
28 Weeks pregnant with the triad
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sheryl0620 Tue Mar-23-10 06:59 AM
Member since Dec 29th 2009
117 posts
#459836, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 29
Hi Roe,
With my first two, a couple of my girlfriends came over and we cooked a whole bunch of "meals", divided them into two serving portions and put them in the freezer. It was a great thing to have. I'm planning to do it again. Although, with all of the "fun" stories about early bed rest/delivery, you might want to do it soon.
Good luck!
Sheryl
Sheryl
DD 11/4/03
DS 6/8/06
Expecting 8/17/10 Triplets!!
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 08:31 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459953, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 64
Yea, I was definitely looking at the calendar, and trying to see when would be the appropriate time to get started on that.
Roe
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PA triplets Mon Mar-22-10 03:02 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3112 posts
#459717, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
Stop cleaning now. I'm being entirely serious. You are at a crucial point in your pregnancy and overdoing right now could have serious consequences. My husband or mother cleaned the house once I got farther along in my pregancy. If it was more strenuous than wiping down a counter I didn't do it.
Frankly, I didn't care what the house looked like once the kids came. The kids were my priority. I did my best but there just weren't enough hours in the day. We used a ton of clorox and lysol wipes for quick cleanups. Eventually we hired a once a month cleaning person so things didn't get too bad.
I did make sure to get a shower everyday and regular haircuts. I showered during the morning nap for a long time. I started out the day in clean clothes. They didn't stay that way for long a lot of days but I started the day clean. The babies laundry got washed every day. Mine got done when I had nothing clean to wear. I actually went out and bought a couple of extra pairs of jeans so I could go longer between loads.
Lori
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roe Mon Mar-22-10 07:12 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459769, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 4
I did mention to my Peri that I do some light cleaning every day. She said that as long as I wasn't doing heavy lifting that it should be fine. I should also mention that I take ALOT of breaks. The babies are heavy, and I do sit down alot. I just spread the cleaning out throughout the day so that I don't put any stress on them. The peri also told me that I could take very light walks around the house, which I do on the days that I'm not doing anything at all.
I've also invested in lysol wipes. They really do save me alot of cleanup time especially in the bathroom and kitchen.
Roe
28 Weeks pregnant with the triad
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MSTAR Mon Mar-22-10 03:34 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#459720, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
I don't think the growing babies in your uterus care whether your house is clean or you are groomed. By the time I was 28 weeks pregnant, I looked like I oculd have starred in a 1970s porno film, that's how "groomed" I was. I carried mine to 35 weeks, so in the big picture, having my bikini line ending above my knees, and sprouting gray hair, and being able to braid my nostril hair was not a big deal.
You are in for a world of misery if you try to keep your standards where they were before. You'll be on here in about 5 months, crying and begging for medication. I've seen over and over and over for the last seven years.
Adopt my number one motto for raising triplets and you will be a happy person.
Rule Number 1: Lowered Expectations.
Just remember those two words and everything else will work itself out.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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Crystal Mon Mar-22-10 03:38 PM
Member since May 27th 2008
1111 posts
#459722, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 5
"By the time I was 28 weeks pregnant, I looked like I oculd have starred in a 1970s porno film, that's how "groomed" I was."
ROFL! Seriously, my nurse became my groomer about 2 hours before my c-section. And my husband groomed my leg hair about 2 days after my c-section. It was awesome.
Crystal
http://familycernanec.blogspot.com/
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SAReece Mon Mar-22-10 04:14 PM
Member since May 11th 2009
509 posts
#459730, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 5
Michele you should do stand up! I am laughing my butt off and all I hear is "bom chicka bow wowwww." I attempted to groom the night before my schedule c-section, literally 55.5 inches around, measuring 23 weeks over due, and I am trying to reach... didn't happen! And woo hoo for lowered expectations. Life is so much easier that way!
Shely~ Mom to 1+GGB
http://thehansontriplets.blogspot.com/
http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/TeamLilyGrace
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roe Mon Mar-22-10 04:38 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459734, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 5
Well, my peri says that I'm doing wonderfully, and she didn't tell me to stop cleaning. I don't clean and keep myself up for the babies. I do it for myself.
I was never one to live in a dirty house, or to let myself go. I take very good care of myself and my babies. I don't think that my wanting to take care of myself takes away from that.
Roe
28 weeks pregnant with the triad
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LoweTriplets Mon Mar-22-10 11:46 PM
Member since Jan 11th 2010
19 posts
#459824, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 5
>Adopt my number one motto for raising triplets and you will be
>a happy person.
>
>Rule Number 1: Lowered Expectations.
>
>Just remember those two words and everything else will work
>itself out.
As potentially depressing, overwhelming, hilarious, etc reading all these posts on here was, there is one thing that I've appreciated most—that it is also perspective giving. I've been trying hard to imagine what life will be like when these little boys are born, and yet I can't. Every time I try to, I just come up blank. People ask me what I'm going to do or how I'm going to schedule or manage such and such, and I don't have an answer. It's certainly not because I don't try and organize and picture things with my brain! It's just that I remember how hard it was with just one infant, and when I think of three(!), well you guys have been there, I'm overwhelmed. I have no idea what these three little ones will be like, or what problems they may or may not have. And while I'm thankful for them and can't wait to get to know them, it's not without great trepidation that I look forward.
That said, I'm thankful for the posts on here that give a picture of what it's like—to have three babies, maybe with family or hired help, or not, with problems or not, premie or not. It's not a pretty picture.. but it's reality and women/families doing the best they can with what they've got and loving their children. I appreciate this forum—and the support that comes from experience. And what I take is—lower expectations, breathe, I'll survive.
Karen
30 weeks pregnant with BBBs
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sheryl0620 Tue Mar-23-10 07:51 AM
Member since Dec 29th 2009
117 posts
#459842, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 57
Karen,
This is an awesome post. I really feel the same way. Yes, I have two already, singles. The triplet thing is totally overwhelming and I too get the questions all of the time about "how are you going to...". I just say, I don't know. We'll just have to wait and see how it works. Thanks for expressing this so well!
Sheryl
DD 11/4/03
DS 6/8/06
Expecting 8/17/10 Triplets!!
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MSTAR Tue Mar-23-10 12:41 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#459876, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 57
Karen,
You will be fine and you will make it. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?
So even when you feel it will never get better, it will. I promise. You just have to make it through all the yucky parts to get there and when it's overwhelming and you feel like everything you were ever told about motherhood was a lie, just know that we get it and it WILL turn around.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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carina Tue Mar-23-10 01:50 PM
Member since May 23rd 2008
166 posts
#459891, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 75
What I find hilarious is that all these moms r on here saying how they can't find time to clan their house or wash their butts but they have time to read this long thread & post! Ha! Roe, you'll have time for what u want to have time for. My dh & I managed to conceive our 5th child when the trio were 7 months old - lord knows how we found time for that! But we di best of luck with the rest of your pg. And try not to let this board get to you. I've been ripped on more then once around here, but think the good outway the bad so I still stop by on occassion.
Fran
Mom to;
DD 4
BBG 18months
DD 3months
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Crystal Tue Mar-23-10 02:01 PM
Member since May 27th 2008
1111 posts
#459893, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 76
Notice how most of the responses are from people who no longer have newborns at home? Those moms are too busy feeding their babies and taking catnaps. The rest of us have our children locked up in a play area while we decompress reading silly posts like these on TC.
My house was spotless and I was clean for the first two weeks my girls were home. I was awake and moving 20 hours each day, and I was rarely the one to actually feed my babies. I finally decided that since they were MY children, I should be the one holding and feeding them, and I let everything else go. I finally even let the pumping go and I got to sleep more at night. And I only went online while holding and feeding a baby. Yup, baby in lap and computer on couch armrest. The computer kept me sane. I couldn't clean or shower while feeding my babies because of the reflux and the logistics. It wouldn't have worked for us. So it was ass on sofa during all feeds...and feeds lasted about 45 minutes with breaks for burping. Since I was the only one with the girls for most of the day, I fed one baby each hour. I basically had 10 minutes each hour to myself. Those were spent doing laundry, cleaning bottles, making formula, changing clothes after getting puked on, making phone calls, feeding dogs, letting dogs outside...you get the picture.
All of that said, life changed dramatically when the girls started sleeping 12 hours at night and napped regularly.
Crystal
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sandsstone Tue Mar-23-10 02:10 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3032 posts
#459894, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 76
Sheesh...for a conventional conception...that only takes a few minutes...and I even suppose some industrious souls could multitask it...say with scrubbing the floor or more realistically...showering.
When the trio were infants I didn't post much. For a while that was how it needed to be. And that is the whole point of this...it starts out hard, but gets better.
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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carina Tue Mar-23-10 02:25 PM
Member since May 23rd 2008
166 posts
#459898, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 78
Tue Mar-23-10 02:27 PM by carina
>Sheesh...for a conventional conception...that only takes a
>few minutes...and I even suppose some industrious souls could
>multitask it...say with scrubbing the floor or more
>realistically...showering.
>
>
>
>When the trio were infants I didn't post much. For a while
>that was how it needed to be. And that is the whole point of
>this...it starts out hard, but gets better.
>
>
>Susan
haha! You're so right! I think I was vacuuming at the time, lol! J/k! U all know what I mean though... Sometimes I feel guilty about cleaning when I should be doing a project with my oldest while the little ones nap, but when the house is messy I feel guilty too...just can't win. My dh really likes a clean house so he did most of the cleaning when I was busy pumping/breastfeeding in the early months. Now I that they nap 3hrs a day & sleep 12hrs at nite my only excuse for a messy house or uncooked dinner is laziness
Fran
Mom to;
DD 4
BBG 18months
DD 3months
Attachment #1, ( file)
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MSTAR Tue Mar-23-10 02:29 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#459899, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 76
Yeah, my kids are six now. I've got so much time on my hands, I am growing all my own vegetables and chickens for food. AND my house is clean and I just drove 350 miles and got my hair done. I also volunteer in the classroom, I'm on the PTA, and do supplemental homeschooling with the kids just for fun. You can't really compare newborns to school-aged children. Oh, and I also found the time to squeeze out in extra kid.
But, again, my kids are in school now and I don't watch television at all because I'm too busy solving other people's problems on the internet with my gobs of downtime.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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Crystal Mon Mar-22-10 03:36 PM
Member since May 27th 2008
1111 posts
#459721, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
If you care how you look once your babies are home, you need to re-evaluate your priorities. Sorry, but who cares how presentable you look? Who are you trying to impress? We only showered after getting puked on...which was generally about once/day or so. There was no point in showering before getting puked on because we would just have to re-shower after getting puked on. We wore pajamas all day every day (not kidding...I went on pajama shopping sprees). And I never did my hair or make-up. Scratch that. I did my hair and make-up on occasion if we had a big day out planned...you know, like going to the doctor's office or the grocery store. Even though I smelled like baby barf, was wearing pj's, had my wet hair tied back, and wore no make-up, my husband still managed to find me attractive enough to grope me multiple times/day. Hopefully yours isn't a jack-ass and will find you attractive no matter how unpresentable you look. And if he doesn't, you probably won't care. You won't have time to care.
I can understand wanting to keep the house in order. It's nice to be organized and keep your place clean for your babies.
If both are of utmost importance to you (or your husband), then hire some help. Seriously. You'll need it.
Crystal
http://familycernanec.blogspot.com/
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thefrostys Mon Mar-22-10 04:01 PM
Member since Apr 07th 2008
82 posts
#459729, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 6
Mon Mar-22-10 04:02 PM by thefrostys
I like things clean, including myself. I know I couldn't do it all if I didn't have help. So thank goodness for my nanny and housekeeper! They are the best help money can buy.
Jessica
BGB-Tate, Teely & Jackson
October 14, 2008 (34w3d)
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sandsstone Mon Mar-22-10 04:17 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3032 posts
#459731, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Mar-22-10 04:20 PM by sandsstone
LOL.
"I know that it must be difficult, but I also know that everything is possible with a strong power of will. I'm really interested in tips, and things that helped you guys stay on top of things, while still spending time with your babies."
LOL...willpower fades as the lack of sleep grows.
House clean - hire someone to come in once every two weeks to deal with the basics. Have a list for volunteers. Have a second list for you and DH with the most important stuff on top and the nice if it happens on the bottom. Then close your eyes and say...this is only temporary.
Presentable - If you have easy babies, it isn't to hard, arrange for someone to be there long enough for you to shower and become presentable (volunteer, hubby, teen, nanny, aupair)...however, as the number of babies with issues (medical, colic, allergies, developmental, etc.) increases, your standards will decrease. Spitup is quite fashionable in the reflux/colic baby circles! lol!
Keep on top of things - prioritize and let people know that cards, gifts, etc. may be late or non-existent this year (Thankfully I bought a year ahead, so I just had to find them/mail them). Shop now for your personal items for the next 6m. Make sure you aren't going to run out of those and need to make a special trip for something.
Find a volunteer to grocery shop. This one is easy as most people realize this is a limited time committment and can fit it into their day.
PP are right, stop cleaning now and hire someone. Hopefully you will have easy babies and after the first 3 months you won't be to overwhelmed until they hit the toddler age. Otherwise I really look forward to reading your blog.
Susan.
ps. Thanks for the laugh...I really needed it today!
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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roe Mon Mar-22-10 04:42 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459735, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 10
Well ladies.
Thanks for your opinions. But I think I will keep my positive attitude, and continue to take care of myself. A happy mommy is a good mommy.
My grandmother was a mother of 7, and her house was always clean, and she was always presentable. I don't think having multiples is a good enough excuse to let your house go down in the shitter, and your looks as well.
Oh, and my grandmother also had multiples.
Thanks anyway.
Roe
28 weeks pregnant with the Triad.
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MSTAR Mon Mar-22-10 04:59 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#459740, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 12
Uhm, okay. I still wear a size four and look pretty darn hot if I say so myself. But when I was pregnant? The last thing, and I mean THE LAST THING I was thinking about was how "I" looked. That's because I'm not a narcissist or OCD.
The last thing I cared about when I had new babies was my house. I was trying to survive. It took two years to dig myself out. If you showed up at my house right now, I would not be shame faced.
Like I said, check back in with us in six months. I'll still be here, laughing.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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roe Mon Mar-22-10 05:02 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459741, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 15
Name calling. Nice.
I won't be coming back here. You ladies are totally miserable, and bitchy.
Roe
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MSTAR Mon Mar-22-10 05:04 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#459743, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 16
That's because we have TRIPLETS. You will get that in about a MONTH. LMAO. Don't worry. We won't hold it against you. We all used to be you before our children sucked the life out of us.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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roe Mon Mar-22-10 05:07 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459745, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 17
Well, at least you own up to your misery. I, will however hang on to my positive attitude. Not to mention my great large family, and support system.
Roe
28 weeks pregnant with triplets.
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MSTAR Mon Mar-22-10 05:15 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#459747, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 19
Ha! My kids are SIX. I am long through the misery. You, however, have some the most miserable four years ahead of you. I'm already on the other side. LOLOLOLOLOLOL!
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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roe Mon Mar-22-10 05:27 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459750, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 20
That is such an awful thing to say about your kids.
Ugh.
Roe
28 weeks pregnant with the triad
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MSTAR Mon Mar-22-10 05:51 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#459754, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 21
I feel sorry for you. I really do. Nobody has more fun than me with my kids. My life is almost a constant adventure. Why don't you pop over to my blog and see for yourself.
But that first year sucked so bad it wasn't even funny. I'm not going to sugar coat it for you. Your first year is going to be an almost constant blur of crying and sleep deprivation. You are living in a fantasy land right now, where you have a clean house and look good. And that's okay. God will send you on the journey you need to go on to make you the person you are supposed to be. Good luck!!!
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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roe Mon Mar-22-10 05:54 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459755, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 22
Lady, I don't need you to feel sorry for me. And i don't give a rats ass about your stupid blog. I came here looking for constructive people, and found a negative miserable person. There is no way that you are having so much "fun" with your kids, and you are so negative.
I could care less about anything you have to say. I'm surrounded in my daily life by love, and support, and while I know that being a mother of triplets will be a challenge, I would NEVER EVER, refer to raising my children as something horrible. I am excited and proud to be a mother of triplets. You can take your negativity and shove it. It doesn't impress me, and it doesn't in any way intimidate me.
Roe
28 Weeks pregnant with the triad
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MSTAR Mon Mar-22-10 05:57 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#459756, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 23
Good for you. You are going to need that tenacity to survive. You are already sounding like a triplet mom!!!! I have no doubt you will be just fine after your breakdown.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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3lilprincess Mon Mar-22-10 07:35 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
390 posts
#459777, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 23
Mon Mar-22-10 08:52 PM by 3lilprincess
Good Luck To You!
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MSTAR Mon Mar-22-10 07:44 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#459778, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 35
Shhhhhhhhhhhhh. Don't scare her off. I'm still waiting to hear what Granny would do, you bunch of wimps.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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sandsstone Mon Mar-22-10 09:00 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3032 posts
#459791, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 36
Mon Mar-22-10 09:10 PM by sandsstone
I really think this deserves popcorn
She is awfully chipper for 28 weeks...have you checked to make sure she isn't a faker?
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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MSTAR Mon Mar-22-10 09:05 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#459794, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 42
OHMYGOSH, you totally just read my mind. I was LITERALLY just thinking that this is a faker and I've been duped. The whole, "my grandma had seven kids so you guys suck " and the whole "just cuz you have triplets doesn't mean your house has to look like sh&t". That's totally someone trying to fake us out.
Ewwwwwwwwww. Now I've really got some entertainment for the evening once the kiddos are in bed.
But if I didn't get duped, then imagine that there is a real person out there that is more interested in keeping her house clean than keeping her babies inside her. Yikes. I hope this isn't real.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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Crystal Mon Mar-22-10 09:19 PM
Member since May 27th 2008
1111 posts
#459803, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 44
I don't think she's faking. Remember, she's the one who was obsessed with shopping at 12 weeks and her family thought she was jumping the gun. And then there was the coochie cam and ffn test that she wanted to refuse.
You can't fake that ####.
Crystal
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sandsstone Mon Mar-22-10 09:45 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3032 posts
#459810, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 51
Oh yeah...I remember that. I really do hope she does a blog. Reading it might be like my reaction to Michele's chicken raising experiences.
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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SAReece Mon Mar-22-10 09:04 PM
Member since May 11th 2009
509 posts
#459792, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 23
Listen, I think you are being a little bit sensitive here. Like one of the other posters said, people are NOT being mean, they are being realistic. We have been right where you are right now and we have been where you havent been yet, but will be soon (after the babies are born.) We ALL had our ideas about how life would be after our triplets came along and we ALL have wants (like to keep our house spotless and primping every day) but sometimes it just doesnt work like we thought it would or even hoped it would.
What I think everyone is saying is don't set your expectations so high because all it is going to do is make the stress on you greater and after the babies come, you will have enough of that. You clean when they are sleeping and do what you can do. There are some days you can clean 3 rooms top to bottom and there will be others that you won't have time to even do the dishes and are washing bottles one by one at feeding time while the babies are screaming to be fed. By the end of the day you will be so exhausted that you wont want to move to even make it to bed to collapse, much less stay up and clean. No one is being mean, we are trying to be truthful.
I tried to keep up with my standards when the babies were born and after the 2nd or 3rd time of me working my butt off all day, completely exhausted, ready to sleep and laying down and before I could even shut my eyes, someone started crying... I had to quit and conserve my energy and let some things go. I shower every day, I brush my hair every day, my house is picked up (there is a difference between picked up and clean!) Every day my main focus is on getting the dishes done and kitchen picked up, doing a couple of loads of laundry and vacuuming the floor in the living room (where the babies spend most of their time) and almost every day that is ALL I can do. If I stray from my norm and clean the bathroom through the week, something doesnt get done. My advice (again) don't worry about it. You can only do what you can do.
Shely~ Mom to 1+GGB
http://thehansontriplets.blogspot.com/
http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/TeamLilyGrace
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lovemy5boys Tue Mar-23-10 11:20 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1471 posts
#459861, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 23
Tue Mar-23-10 11:37 AM by lovemy5boys
I have to chime in here, just on this one thing...
"I would NEVER EVER, refer to raising my children as something horrible."
Yes, you will.
One thing I've learned through all of this is, never say never.
Like she said, check back in six months and laugh WITH us about what you THOUGHT it was going to be like.
ETA: I do understand about having your house clean. I personally cannot function when everything is a mess. It makes me crazy. I have a cleaning lady every other week and in between I try my best to keep things straightened up but that only works about 75% of the time. In the beginning there was absolutely no extra time to do anything other than keep dishes clean and throw a load of laundry in when nobody had any clean clothes left. I was lucky enough to have hired help most days in the 1st year. Nobody can prepare you for what you're about to deal with. Some people seem mean here because to us, the ones that have lived it, sometimes all you can do is laugh and thank GOD that part of your life is over! GL!
proud mom to
DS 7
DS 4
BBB 9/29/06 born @ 32w2d
" "
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kylamel Tue Mar-23-10 06:25 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2456 posts
#459834, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 19
This post is cracking me up!!! You.. positive attitude?? All of your posts have been pretty negative.
Melanie
BGB born at 32 weeks in 2005
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Cat Ford Tue Mar-23-10 11:57 AM
Member since Jan 04th 2010
60 posts
#459866, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 19
Tue Mar-23-10 12:05 PM by Cat Ford
Roe, please feel free to contact me privately if you'd like to keep up connection
I do not agree with this ridiculous stuff you are getting. Everyone is different in what they strive for/want.
It's bad enough having the 'outside' world hard on mothers and parenting, let alone how they are on multiple mothers. I am floored at how quickly they all cut down people on here! I thought this was support? Not if you see it different you are wrong and bad...
I have 5 kids. All are home, I am home-schooling my PreK for RSV fears this year.
I keep up my house (not as well as before kids) and I keep myself up like I did before the triplets. Sure there was a time that I couldn't and I shouldn't have spent any energy outside of healing and taking care of my babies... but I do it. I do not have help. My home is reasonably clean, my children are clean and happy, I spend time holding, loving, feeding, and playing with them every day - and I am clean and showered each day.
I don't expect other Mothers to be like me or do it my way - I really don't care, whatever works for people works and I wouldn't dare judge anyone for their choices in how to run their family the way they see best.
I'm glad to stay in touch with you if you'd like, this is ridiculous.
Catherine
Bri, Mikayla, Tristan 3/09 (32.2)
Sage 10/06
Hunter 11/04
Matisse (CH Siberian Husky, Agility)
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jay67964 Wed Mar-24-10 07:26 AM
Member since Feb 23rd 2010
20 posts
#460087, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 16
Hey there Roe,
Well sweetie you are exactly where I was last week. If you don't remember , click back a couple of pages and look up the "Baby Shower " post. My response will be lengthy but bare with me I have a point The MAJORITY of these ladies have wonderful, helpful and sound advice. With that being said, this is obviosly a close nit group of women who have been through pregnancies, PPD, baby nightmares.....ect. together. I believe that in text,the context of what we mean doesn't exactly get across. So what we type is taken so literally that it is replied to just as literally.Also a few of these ladies ,when disagreed with, can get downright mean and vicious. I was accused of ripping "lori" apart. I was called a wacko. I was made fun of. Some pretty mean things were even wished upon me. All over just wanting so badly to vent my frustrations to an "understanding" group of women who have been there and done that. Well, after reading back over my post I can see that I may have been overly aggressive. But I could also see that others may have been doing the same. (This is the internet after all)
I'm going to tell you a little bit of my story and maybe this may help you. On February 27 2004, my son Aiden Brice was born at 24 weeks ,I was told that it was due to an incompetent cervix. To this day I don't know why, but I have always blamed myself. He was born alive and died in my arms later that night. One year to the day my daughter Morgan was born 6 days after she was born she coded and I stood in children's hospital trauma watching a medical team shock my baby.And then we had to endure Katrina and being homeless. She lived with us in a dusty old moldy camper and became sick again. She is alive today but remained on cardiac drugs until she was 3 years old. She was born at 37 weeks. She is also a severe asthmatic. And now here I am 22 weeks pregnant with triplets, I am scared and lonley and frustrated with being stuck at home. I've given up my job as an RN to stay at home and rest. Because my job demanded for me to spend too much time on my feet. Ok with that being said I tell you this. We all must accept the consequences of the choices that we make. Please understand the consequences you may have to suffer if you continue to clean house. As far as for fixing yourself up, hey, if that makes you feel beautiful and confident and boosts your self esteem....you go girl. Be beautiful!
But as far as answering every single post and retaliating against every remark that pissed you off. Well sweetie i'm not sure all that was worth your time. They have unfortunately made you the butt of their jokes in another post. I just gave up on my responses because I couldn't make them understand what I was trying to get across and I just kept on digging myself into a deeper hole. I couldn't get them to understand that what they percieved from my post wasn't what I was trying to get across to them. And the namecalling started, and the jokes. So I just gave up because when it comes time for my trio to be here I'm gonna want these womens advice. But I have learned my lesson, don't vent here. That's when some cruel things will get said. But baby problems, trio feeding schedules, play time advice....soak it up. They are smart ladies.
Well I hope this helped and I wish you the best. Good luck and I hope your babies are born healthy.
J.
22 weeks BBG
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carina Wed Mar-24-10 02:25 PM
Member since May 23rd 2008
166 posts
#460163, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 158
>Hey there Roe,
> Well sweetie you are exactly where I was last week. If you
>don't remember , click back a couple of pages and look up the
>"Baby Shower " post. My response will be lengthy but bare with
>me I have a point The MAJORITY of these ladies have
>wonderful, helpful and sound advice. With that being said,
>this is obviosly a close nit group of women who have been
>through pregnancies, PPD, baby nightmares.....ect. together. I
>believe that in text,the context of what we mean doesn't
>exactly get across. So what we type is taken so literally that
>it is replied to just as literally.Also a few of these ladies
>,when disagreed with, can get downright mean and vicious. I
>was accused of ripping "lori" apart. I was called a wacko. I
>was made fun of. Some pretty mean things were even wished upon
>me. All over just wanting so badly to vent my frustrations to
>an "understanding" group of women who have been there and done
>that. Well, after reading back over my post I can see that I
>may have been overly aggressive. But I could also see that
>others may have been doing the same. (This is the internet
>after all)
So perfectly said! I have had the same experiance! I am so sorry for your loss & trials in life. U must be an incredibly strong & amazing women to have lived thru so much & now carry triplets! Best of luck to you!
>I'm going to tell you a little bit of my story and maybe this
>may help you. On February 27 2004, my son Aiden Brice was born
>at 24 weeks ,I was told that it was due to an incompetent
>cervix. To this day I don't know why, but I have always blamed
>myself. He was born alive and died in my arms later that
>night. One year to the day my daughter Morgan was born 6 days
>after she was born she coded and I stood in children's
>hospital trauma watching a medical team shock my baby.And then
>we had to endure Katrina and being homeless. She lived with us
>in a dusty old moldy camper and became sick again. She is
>alive today but remained on cardiac drugs until she was 3
>years old. She was born at 37 weeks. She is also a severe
>asthmatic. And now here I am 22 weeks pregnant with triplets,
>I am scared and lonley and frustrated with being stuck at
>home. I've given up my job as an RN to stay at home and rest.
>Because my job demanded for me to spend too much time on my
>feet. Ok with that being said I tell you this. We all must
>accept the consequences of the choices that we make. Please
>understand the consequences you may have to suffer if you
>continue to clean house. As far as for fixing yourself up,
>hey, if that makes you feel beautiful and confident and boosts
>your self esteem....you go girl. Be beautiful!
>But as far as answering every single post and retaliating
>against every remark that pissed you off. Well sweetie i'm not
>sure all that was worth your time. They have unfortunately
>made you the butt of their jokes in another post. I just gave
>up on my responses because I couldn't make them understand
>what I was trying to get across and I just kept on digging
>myself into a deeper hole. I couldn't get them to understand
>that what they percieved from my post wasn't what I was trying
>to get across to them. And the namecalling started, and the
>jokes. So I just gave up because when it comes time for my
>trio to be here I'm gonna want these womens advice. But I have
>learned my lesson, don't vent here. That's when some cruel
>things will get said. But baby problems, trio feeding
>schedules, play time advice....soak it up. They are smart
>ladies.
>
>Well I hope this helped and I wish you the best. Good luck and
>I hope your babies are born healthy.
>
>J.
>22 weeks BBG
Fran
Mom to;
DD 4
BBG 18months
DD 3months
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Crystal Mon Mar-22-10 05:07 PM
Member since May 27th 2008
1111 posts
#459744, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 15
Two years? That makes me feel better. I have about 7 months left to get my #### together, then. I'll schedule my first mani-pedi and third haircut post-babies right around their 2nd birthday.
Crystal
http://familycernanec.blogspot.com/
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sandsstone Mon Mar-22-10 08:42 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3032 posts
#459786, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 12
I held my babies hours every day since I had three HARD babies (all three colic, reflux, milk soy protein allergy, on monitors because they would stop breathing due to reflux yadda yadda)I was barfed on so many times a day by my cute little fountains that I quit changing shirts because I didn't have time to change clothes so much (up to 10 times a day) and I was at the doctors way too often due to these issues...a 1.75 hr drive each way. Hda a failure to thrive baby who ate every 90min to 2 hrs...DAY and NIGHT...and still ended up on an NG tube and I had to sleep next to her to ensure she didn't get tangled in and strangle herself....I would go to bed at 9pm and get up at 8 am just to get 4-6 hrs of interrupted sleep...
I didn't let myself go to the shitter...I chose my child's medical needs over my own vanity. I chose my child's health and future over my happiness...for a time.
Now that they are only bothered by reflux once or sometimes twice a night (yes I still am getting up to deal with spitup at almost three) and we only go to the doctor once a month I am a much happier and more put together.
Your Grandma never dealt with that. My great grandma had 9 children, my aunt had 12, another shirt tail relative had 13...one house looked like heck, the other two were neat as a pin...but the neat ones were due to them teaching the KIDS to do the work not only the mom.
Now I have no clue why you asked for our comments...you obviously have everything together and really don't want our opinions. Overnight things can change, waters can break, contractions can hit...we are telling you because we lived it and watched others live it. Some peri's are not very cautious...and we have watched mothers mourn because of it.
Take our advice or leave it, but don't ask for it and then get all upset when it isn't to your liking.
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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Crystal Mon Mar-22-10 09:06 PM
Member since May 27th 2008
1111 posts
#459795, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 39
Perfectly-stated, Susan!
Crystal
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amlink Mon Mar-22-10 04:46 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
932 posts
#459737, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
My kids are 4.5 and I am just now looking presentable!
Hire a part-time nanny and a once-a-week maid. And even then, don't count on looking great. You can use all the makeup in the world and it won't hide the fact that you've had 10 hours of sleep in the past WEEK! Not night...WEEK!
While the babies are small you'll be too tired and too overwhelmed to clean. And when they're bigger...THEY GANG UP AND WORK AGAINST YOU!!! YOU, the very woman that brought them into this world! THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT CLEANING! They bring chaos out of order. They laugh at picking up.
You put stuff away, you turn around, and they've taken it out, dumped it, chewed on it, etc. It's crazy.
Dishes...I do at least ONE dishwasher load a day, and we don't even have bottles or sippies any more. Don't even get me started on laundry...I did FIVE loads yesterday, one today, and I still have bathroom rugs, whites, and the girls' clothes to do...And you should have seen it when we had the stomach flu...which reminds me, still need to get the carpets cleaned.
Enjoy the blissful ignorance...and start interviewing nannies, and cleaning services. You will smile as you write the checks...I PROMISE!
Alice
P.S. This did bring back happy memories...of my once clean and organized house
GGG born 9/3/05 at 35w3d
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roe Mon Mar-22-10 07:15 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459770, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 13
This is why I decided to ask you ladies how you are managing. I have discussed with my husband hiring someone to come in once a week to clean the house, because I imagine that it's going to look incredibly messy. I'm not so anxious about the house looking messy, I just want it to be clean. There is a difference. I wouldn't be against having someone come in once a week and help me with the cleaning.
Roe
28 weeks pregnant with the triad
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amlink Mon Mar-22-10 09:16 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
932 posts
#459801, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 31
Do it!! We still have someone come every other week to CLEAN...like bathrooms, kitchen floors, etc. I vacuum all the time, sweep, wipe counters, but there are not enough hours in the day to deep clean...just when I think I'll have to give in and do it, I look at my calendar, and my Kim is coming to save the day!!!
Nanny...we had a college student for 2.5 years. We worked around her schedule, and it was great. She loaded the dishwasher with bottles, etc., made formula (I breastfed for 7 weeks, and then was so exhausted with feeding and pumping and the reflux and special diet--for me, that I switched to formula), prepared bottles, did the babies' laundry, changed their sheets, picked up their toys, and MOST OF ALL loved on them--and on ME! She was there 6 days a week, kept me sane, gave the babies attention...best decision we ever ever made! We moved out of state when the girls were 2.5, and coincidentally our nanny got married the same time...the girls were her flower girls...and she moved out of state too!
We still miss her, but I managed on my own with preschool once the girls turned 3.
My house is clean, but it is definitely cluttered...we've all been sick for 2 weeks (stomach flu, head colds, ear infections, etc.) and today I did NOTHING but go through papers...invites, school forms, bills, etc...and make phone calls. And I still have three stacks (they're much smaller, though ). My goal is to see the kitchen counters.
My girls go to school daily, so I am finally managing to get to the gym (with the exception of tendonitis, the head cold, and the stomach flu), get regular haircuts, pedicures, have lunch dates, sit on volunteer organization board, etc. I actually dress nicely some days.
When the girls were small, I ALWAYS took a shower. That was my thing. I may have been in sweatpants, but I was clean, smelled good, and had combed and dried hair.
Hope that you make it all work! Happy gestating!
GGG born 9/3/05 at 35w3d
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 08:30 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459952, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 49
Thanks!
Roe
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triplicates Mon Mar-22-10 06:12 PM
Member since Sep 12th 2009
63 posts
#459760, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
Congratulations on reaching the significant 28-week milestone. It's great you've gotten this far with your positive attitude still in check.
After the girls arrived, I found it impossible to keep the standards I once had. Realistically speaking, the only way to keep it up is if you have help or compromise on sleep or time with your trio. Since my 3 have reflux and it was important to me to provide them with breast milk, there seems to be even fewer hours in the day to focus on looking presentable or to keep the household in check.
I'd suggest hiring help and/or relying on volunteers. Friends and family are sure to offer help. Accept! For us the biggest sanity and time saver has been meal deliveries. We couldn't have survived without the help. It has allowed me to spend more time with my babies, and stay on track with their laundry and other chores.
Getting the babies on a schedule will help tremendously, but it doesn't happen overnight.
You'll also learn to multitask even better than you do now.
* while expressing breast milk, you can eat, send emails, check this forum, fold laundry, feed a baby, etc.
* you can burp a baby while you're eating (just lay them across your lap)
* you can feed more than 1 baby simultaneously while scheduling ped visits and speaking on the phone, etc.
It's all about being as efficient as you can be, but even then there often just aren't enough hours in a day.
You'll figure out the best times to do things. Ie. some tasks can be easily interrupted while you'd want to save other tasks for when you have help or the babies are sleeping.
* when babies nap, I shower, eat, do laundry, quick cleaning, wash/make bottles (if you're not exclusively BFing)
* when babies go to bed for the night, I restock the changing table, pack away their laundry and get everything ready for the next day.
* I keep a diaper bag packed with all of their necessities so I don't have to pack and unpack every time we head out.
* I store things close to where we use them, e.g. their baby bathtub, hooded towels, a change of clothes, diapers, etc. are all stored together so I don't need to prep.
* I often "wear" one baby in a Baby Bjorn so I can keep doing stuff around the house
You'll figure out what works for you as time goes by, but go easy on yourself the first few months. Nobody will think you've let yourself go if you're in survival mode the first four months. Nothing is more important than recovering from the delivery, bonding with your babies, and getting as much sleep as you possibly can.
Good luck!
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roe Mon Mar-22-10 07:20 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459772, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 25
Thank you so much for your response. I found it extremely helpful. I definitely am expecting things to be hectic in the beginning. Especially because I plan on breastfeeding and pumping. I know that there are many of you who have managed to juggle all of your tasks, even while caring for the babies, and I wanted to see what worked for you.
I'm not expecting to look like a rockstar while caring for these three babies. But I thought it would be helpful to see how some of you have survived.
And as for the positive attitude, I realized early in the pregnancy that I would never survive if I didn't stay positive. I was absolutely terrified. Still am. But I'm determined, and keeping a positive mind set no matter what gets thrown at me.
Thank you for your response.
Roe
28 Weeks pregnant with the triad
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lovemy4 Mon Mar-22-10 08:29 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
809 posts
#459782, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 32
Roe,
You're planning on breastfeeding and pumping too? I pumped exclusively for my triplets for 14 months. They never got formula. I took a shower everyday and brushed my hair. But that was about it. I managed to wash dishes and do laundry and take minimal care of my 6 year old. Do you realize how much time it takes to pump milk for 3 babies? It varies per woman, but I spent TWELVE HOURS A DAY HOOKED UP TO THE BREAST PUMP. That deserves repeating. TWELVE HOURS A DAY. Every moment was worth it because it was for my babies. They are all that matter! The demands of 3 newborns (probably premature ones, which require even more care) are CONSTANT. After about 6 months things got much easier for me, and I honestly loved every second of my boys' infancy. You think you're getting judgmental replies, but these ladies are just being realistic. You can't possibly prepare for what is about to happen. Good Luck!
Jennie
Proud mom to BBB born 09-02-03 @ 32.2 wks
and 13 yr old big brother
and 3 yr old little brother
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Mom23in2003 Tue Mar-23-10 02:34 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1607 posts
#459831, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 32
I know it's not what you want to hear, but I agree with all who have said you are setting your expectations too high. And I agree with the above poster who points out that pumping and nursing are going to make your goals even harder to reach.
I pumped for my boys and sometimes breastfed them for 15 months. Our boys were on a three-hour schedule for several months. So here is how our schedule went:
1-1.5 hours to feed them. Yes, that long. Preemies can often take a lot of prompting to eat a full meal. Even with someone else helping me with a feeding, it still took about an hour to get all three fed and changed.
30 minutes to settle them back into a nap or play
30 minutes to pump. If you plan on giving them mostly breastmilk, plan on being hooked up to a pump at least four hours a day.
15 minutes to wash flanges, bottles, etc. and prepare for next round
This repeats 24 hours a day. At the most, you will have blocks of maybe 30 minutes here or there to throw in a load of laundry, maybe feed yourself. You won't be getting any uninterrupted sleep for a good four or five months. So even when you do get those blocks of time during the day, you'll be exhausted and won't want to tidy up and make sure you look nice. You'll want to sit down and catch your breath. Or maybe that was just me. After getting maybe 8 total hours of sleep in a week, I just didn't give a crap about vacuuming.
And I had EASY EASY babies. NO colic. Good sleepers. No problems that complicated things at all. And things were very very difficult for awhile with EASY babies. Add a colicky baby to that schedule, and you really don't have time to do anything but tend to your children and survive.
The people here telling you to lower your expectations are giving you GOOD advice. They aren't trying to be mean. Sometimes being a good parent is about setting priorities and focusing on that, and not worrying about things that don't matter in the long run.
Kristen
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 08:28 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459950, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 61
I can understand you ladies letting me know how challenging it was for you in the beginning, but that wasn't the initial question. I don't mind that I'm setting my expectations too high. I've always done that in my life. So when I fall short, I'm still somewhere up there.
It's fine if my plan for feeding my children change. I'm an adaptable woman. But I will find this all out in my own experience. I don't think there's anything that I will gain from people trying to make me believe that I'm going to be miserable feeding my children. I'm not going to accept defeat that easily. Whatever I need to do for my babies I will do. As I have done during this whole pregnancy.
If the breastfeeding doesn't work out, then I'll pump, if there's no milk, then I'll buy formula. I'm not afraid of the challenges ahead. The day I turned down the reduction, I made the decision that I was in this battle to win it.
Changing my plans don't bother me. But I refuse to sit here, and actually believe that when I'll be holding my dear children, that I'll be miserable. I will love every minute of the chaos they bring into my life.
Roe
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k3triplets Tue Mar-23-10 09:06 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
783 posts
#459972, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 84
Of course you will love it. I don't think anyone is saying they don't love their children or love being a parent. It's just that parenting is one of those things, at least for me, that is really complicated and hard to wrap up with just one emotion. It is the most empowering, fulfilling, humbling, inspiring thing I have ever had the privilege to be a part of. But it is hard. Part of why I come here is that most of these people understand that when I write something like, "I.hate.everybody." I also mean I love them so much that I am consumed by them...it actually physically aches when I think of how much I love them. I would die this instant for any one or all three of my children. And they drove me nuts tonight while I tried to get them bathed! These parents get that. And I need someone who gets it.
I can't relate to mothers who can't admit that they have moments of resentment or anger or loss for the independence they used to have. Maybe not all of those things, but my favorite moms who can be honest enough to admit that parenting is the hardest, best thing ever...all at once. Maybe you will be not be impacted this way. I don't know.
You seem tenacious and strong-willed. I think you'll do just fine because these will serve as strengths for you. But I do think you are unfairly judging the comments made on this thread. In my opinion, you are thinking very literally and not very critically about what's being communicated. If you are married, or have ever been in a long-term, committed relationship, consider the way you feel about that sometimes. I love my husband, but he also makes me crazy. I really need that to be okay to say. I am not going to filter here.
Susanne
gbg @ 31.6
5/2006
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 09:20 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459977, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 101
I understand what you are saying. I understood it even better when you mentioned the marriage thing. He does drive me up the wall. lol.
I can accept when someone tells me "Hey, Roe seriously- it's going to be hard. It's going to be really really hard"
But I do have a problem with someone that I never spoke to before saying "I'm so going to laugh my ass off, when you are depressed, and will need meds because your experience is going to be so horrible"
I think that's an AWFUL thing to say. And I never liked people who walked around trying to intimidate others. There are ways to say things without being an asshole. I don't like assholes. And I don't let them walk all over me either. I am strong willed, but I like to think that I use it in my favor. If it wasn't for this trait of mine, I don't think I would have been able to make the decision to go through with having these children.
I didn't start out this journey with the expectation that I would have multiples. When I saw them on the ultrasound, I almost threw up. When the doctor told me that he wanted me to have a reduction, I spent the first few weeks, ignoring them completely. I mourned the fact that I was pregnant with triplets. And then one day, I went to the bathroom saw blood, and it woke me up. I didn't want to lose them, I was scared but I wanted them.
So yes, I understand that there are bitter moments, difficult moments ahead. And I accept this. But to say that I should just focus on the difficulties ahead is something that I cannot accept. I am fiercely determined to be as positive as possible, and to focus on some of the more fun things. Do people actually believe that I don't know the risks, and the fight these babies will have when they are born? I know what to expect, but I'm not going to sit here, and be miserable focusing on just that.
If I can teach my children anything it's that even in the most stressful moments of life, there is something wonderful to focus on. A positive attitude and a strong will will get you through anything. And I don't care who laughs at that attitude. I don't think I was unfair to anyone. I was polite and thanked everyone who respected me. Those who didn't got what they deserved from me.
Roe
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LolasLadies Tue Mar-23-10 10:08 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
2107 posts
#460001, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 106
I think you're still missing the point.
You are going to need a little humility in raising these three babies.
When you come on a board where almost ALL the mothers have had premature infants and say that you know better than us about preterm labor or that you're "in it to win it" like we WEREN'T somehow giving a sh*t if our kids were born tiny and sick or not born alive at all, especially when there are a whole group of wonderful women who have lost babies who so desperately tried to keep them alive... that's an awful thing to say.
When you come on a board where almost ALL the mothers have had moments of exhaustion and have felt "frumpy" or "depressed" or have had dishes left in the sink or went to bed knowing their house STUNK but they just needed sleep and you talk down to them saying that it's all a matter of will power... that's an awful thing to say.
People didn't start out nasty on this thread. They came here with honesty and posted that you should take it easy because doctors are wrong all the time. Doctors aren't monitoring you every second of every day, and one stressful incident can send you into labor, and most people don't recognize contractions until it's too late.
People told you to be realistic NOW about your energy levels and they told you that hiring help would probably be the only way you would get everything done that you claim you can "will" into reality. They were trying to help you, and you came out with a smartassed attitude that you know better.
That's why people responded with things like "I'm gonna laugh" when you come back here in a few months going "YOU WERE TOTALLY RIGHT!" Except when that happens, we usually laugh WITH you, not at you
That's not mean. They're responding to what they perceive as a holier-than-thou attitude from someone who has no clue.
I honestly wish someone would have told me to ignore my doctor's OKAYs and put myself on strict bedrest. I wish someone would have pissed me off at myself enough that I would finally realize how close I was to losing my babies.
But what would my frumpy ass know?
Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks
Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com
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mw Wed Mar-24-10 12:12 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3988 posts
#460147, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 120
I agree, I wish I'd put myself on strict bedrest too! I didn't have a perfect outcome and will always wonder if it would have helped for me to have been more aggressive!
Things can change quickly. It is imp. to be educated and aware.
Marie
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4b4me Wed Mar-24-10 12:32 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
144 posts
#460059, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 106
You can have the most positive attitude in the world - but it all crashes down when you see your tiny babies with tubes all over them, and you can't touch them because they are too small, even though you held them in til 35.5 weeks, and you did the VERY best job you could. Best of luck to you. I thought I was ready, too. I thought I could handle it all. I thought everything would be perfect, as long as I thought positively. It wasn't. Just be prepared for the possibility.
Tiff (Masters student, part-time Environmental Educator, and mom to:)
M (12 - sports rox)
D (9 - water spirit)
D (9 - animal lover)
D (9 - video gamer)
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Mom23in2003 Tue Mar-23-10 09:29 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1607 posts
#459981, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 84
I don't think you'll be miserable. But to believe that every moment is going to be rainbows and love is not realistic.
I went through a lot to get pregnant and nobody would have ever been able to convince me during fertility treatments and during my pregnancy that I would feel anything other than utter love and adoration for my babies all the time. But when exhaustion and fatigue and hormones and pain and hunger and constant demands hit, I promise you, there will be moments that you do not enjoy. I realize this is something you can't know now, but it will happen. And it's good to know in advance that it's OK to be human.
Kristen
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 09:54 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459994, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 110
And I'm fine with that. I never said otherwise. I just don't understand, how it went from asking how some of the moms maintained themselves after the babies were born, stretched all the way to this.
Roe
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Mom23in2003 Tue Mar-23-10 10:11 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1607 posts
#460004, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 115
Tue Mar-23-10 10:12 PM by Mom23in2003
Well, because you implied that those of us who didn't shower and apply makeup daily, or keep our houses perfect after our babies were born, that we let our homes go down the shitter and let ourselves go because we are miserable and bitchy and don't have a positive attitude like you. That's how. And those of us who have been in your shoes and who have walked further down the path than you have walked, those that have experienced the reality of triplets and how that is different from the goals you set for yourself when you are still pregnant, might find that to be offensive. So when someone fought back with a little snark, you started calling people asshole, and that's how it all falls apart.
Kristen
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 10:54 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#460021, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 122
Did any of you think that the way you laughed at me, and tried to belittle me was offensive? I don't know you ladies, and I don't know about you, but I'm not generally nice to people who aren't nice to me. I don't care how much more experience you have. I wasn't mean to everyone.
Roe
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sandsstone Tue Mar-23-10 10:23 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3032 posts
#460006, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 115
It was all your attitude.
We welcome you here, but if you will kindly look back on your past posts, your choice of words seems to elicit a similar response. Have you ever thought that what you type is coming through as mean and judgmental? Considering several of your posts have created similar responses...could there be a problem with your wording perhaps...and just maybe...your attitude isn't so much positive as it is combative?
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 10:51 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#460019, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 123
Actually, my previous posts were received quite well.
I asked questions, and helpful people answered. I never once judged or did anything of the sort. Perhaps the fact that I refused an exam at the hands of a doctor that didn't treat me with the required respect rubbed some of you the wrong way. I can't help that. I went out and found a doctor who was much more patient, and polite. That's my right as a patient.
Roe
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Mom23in2003 Tue Mar-23-10 11:03 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1607 posts
#460024, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 132
Maybe it's because you are coming across as a know it all. You know more than your doctor what is right and you know more than us, who have been there, what is right. That's truly how you are coming across.
I'm not trying to be mean here. I didn't laugh at you. I didn't belittle you. I think you are new here and you don't know the personalities here. You don't know that some people are often snarky. But when you are new to a group, it is usually a good idea to get to know people, try to accept differing opinions and advice gracefully, let people get to know you a little bit and you know them before you start telling them they are wrong, bitches, assholes.
Kristen
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 11:17 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#460036, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 136
I never said I knew more than my doctor. I actually discussed with my main doctor the exams the old Peri didn't want to explain. And when I got the new Peri, everything went well.
I'm not a know it all. But I am confident. I wasn't mean to anyone. I was mean to the two ladies who said they were going to sit down and laugh at me when I needed meds for my miserable time with my children. If you took the comments that were meant for them as offensive, there is nothing that I can really do about that.
I like to know what doctors are doing before they put their hands on me. Again, that is my right. And I can't help it, if some of you dislike that about me. It doesn't matter. I want a good doctor for me and my babies. So I went and got one.
I don't think that saying that my children will suffer in my hands, is snarky. It's offensive, and hostile. I think many people gave me their honest opinion, expressing the difficulties of raising triplets, and I wasn't rude or mean to them in any way. Treat me with respect, and I will do the same.
And that lady was a bitch, and an asshole.
Roe
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LolasLadies Tue Mar-23-10 11:23 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
2107 posts
#460041, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 144
"And that lady was a bitch, and an asshole."
Actually, she's a chicken-farming robot. With plastic triplets. Ask anyone!
Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks
Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com
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PA triplets Tue Mar-23-10 11:48 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3112 posts
#460051, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 148
Hang around here for a while and you'll find that "bitch" is also one of the most helpful moms on here. Read her blog some day when you're bored. You'll be entertained and learn a lot.
Lori
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Mom23in2003 Tue Mar-23-10 11:44 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1607 posts
#460049, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 144
I'm trying to help you understand why maybe you are receiving the type of backlash you are receiving, but clearly you aren't interested in hearing it. You seem more interested in holding your ground and arguing your point then trying to see things from a different angle.
I'm wasting my time and effort here. Good luck to you!
Kristen
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sandsstone Wed Mar-24-10 06:39 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3032 posts
#460077, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 150
Yep.
I guess responding to her is akin to scratching...
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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lovemy4 Wed Mar-24-10 07:16 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
809 posts
#460083, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 84
You are such a first-time mom!
I never said I didn't enjoy my babies! I said I loved every second of their infancy. I did. I really did. But I never had expectations of having a perfect house and looks. I loved on my babies and gave them the best life I possible could, even if that meant letting the nonessentials go.
You seem really judgmental. I'm guessing it's just the hormones.
Jennie
Proud mom to BBB born 09-02-03 @ 32.2 wks
and 13 yr old big brother
and 3 yr old little brother
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Kellil Mon Mar-22-10 06:23 PM
Member since Jan 27th 2007
216 posts
#459761, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Mar-22-10 06:25 PM by Kellil
Hi, congratulations on making it to 28 weeks! Maybe we are in the minority but I felt the same way. I was not as fortunate as it sounds like you will be, in that we lived 1000 miles from family and my husband worked 60-80 hours a week. That being said, it is possible to keep your head above water. Yes it was incredibly difficult for the first few months, and honestly I don't even like to think back on it But, you do what you need to do. I spent most of my time in the living room, so that's the room I focused on cleaning. We even put one of the cribs in there for the first few months. I kept the babies' clothes in baskets under the changing table, didn't mess with dressers or closets. I made formula by the pitcher and had enough bottles to last all day, that way I could make bottles in the am and not worry about it again. I gave up pumping when the second one came home because I was alone so much and couldn't find time. One thing that was important to me was dressing in decent but comfy clothes each day, I bought some nice tops and yoga pants online and that helped a lot with the post baby frumpiness! But as hard as it was, I waited many many years for these babies and wouldn't trade a minute of it. My biggest regret is that I didn't have time to just enjoy them. hold them, rock them. But, now that they are almost 3 (!) every day is a blast, full of laughs and hugs. SO, my advice would be, streamline everything you can, get a weekly housekeeper and enjoy your babies!
Kelli
GGB 28.3 weeks 5/3/07
http://yesihavemyhandsfull.blogspot.com/
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roe Mon Mar-22-10 07:25 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459773, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 26
Thanks!
It must have been difficult for you being away from family. We live very close to my parents who are very involved with the babies and the pregnancy, and honestly I don't know if I could be as positive as I am now without them. There are days that just scare the crap out of me, and having them around does help soothe me.
I am definitely hearing you on the yoga pants. The babies are getting heavy, and even the maternity clothes are feeling a bit tight. These yoga pants, and t shirts have saved my life. But like you said, even though this is what I wear all the time, I make sure to keep my hair untangled, my face clean, and put some perfume on just to feel pretty. I know alot of my free time will be gone when the babies come. But I think I will definitely keep in mind just focusing on certain parts of the house, and maybe getting someone to come and do some weekly cleaning. I imagine that would help free up my time!
Thank you!
p.s- I love that you have such wonderful things to say about your babies
Roe
28 weeks pregnant with the triad
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cindarelli50 Mon Mar-22-10 07:06 PM
Member since Jun 19th 2008
90 posts
#459766, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
Hi Roe-
Wow..you are at 28 weeks..that's wonderful..I remember you posting at the very start of your pregnancy..congrats!!!
Well I have to say by 28 wks in my pregnancy I wasn't cleaning my house (I was doing little things but luckily by aunt and grandmother actually came over once a week to do some tidying up..also it was only me and hubby at that point so really not much to do). After the babies were born I was in survival mode like everyone else said. I did the basics for the babies and basic upkeep of the house. I would vacuum maybe every 2 wks, dusting..I don't know..once a month? I eventually had a similar routine to what some others have said like saying Monday was vacuum day, Tuesday was dusting, etc. Now I do most cleaning during naptime or on weekends. I also do what somebody else said..put the kids toys away during naptime and every night. I just told my DH this past weekend he has to do that too b/c it drives me nuts to have it messy!
As for myself, I've never been much of a makeup person or 'doing my hair' person so it's been a ponytail and no makeup for me since the kiddos arrived. During pregnancy i had my DH actually scrubbing me down and helping me wash my hair/shave. He was great!! I wish he would do that now!
One thing I've done for myself since the babies were 10 months old..I found a gym near me (there are plenty to choose from around here) that has a daycare there and signed up. It has been the best thing EVER!!! My immediate family live in Charlotte (I'm in NY) and after the babies were born, I really don't get many visitors (you get the, "Oh I'll come over to help out"..ha..nobody does). Anyway..so the gym daycare has been a godsend. It allows the kids to play in a different environment and around other kids and gives me the opportunity to get a 1 hr. break plus get in shape. I highly recommend you look into it if you are in an area that offers the gym daycare.
Good luck the rest of your pregnancy!
Cindy
BGB born November 6, 2008 at 33 weeks and 3 days
Ryan Patrick 4 lbs 10 oz
Noelle Alyssa 4 lbs 8 oz
Evan Christopher 4 lbs 10 oz
http://lilypie.com>
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roe Mon Mar-22-10 07:30 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459775, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 28
Hi!
I do have to admit that it's getting much more difficult for me to do simple cleaning tasks. So what I've done is divide up the chores during the week. And if I'm feeling too tired to do something, then I just leave it. I'm not pushing myself too hard. But at the same time, I do some light cleaning daily. It helps to keep me busy, and keeps my spirits up.
My husband does help out whenever he can, and I'm grateful for that. He actually shaved me down for our last peri appointment! Aren't we lucky? I'm enjoying it while I can. I know he won't be doing that when the babies are born.
I live in NY as well, and will definitely heed your advice about looking for a gym with a daycare. I was very active before the pregnancy, and I think when they are a little older it will be great to be able to work out again.
Thank you for your response!
Roe
28 Weeks pregnant with the triad!
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4kds4me Mon Mar-22-10 09:33 PM
Member since Mar 29th 2007
1226 posts
#459809, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 34
If you worked out before your pregnancy DEFINATELY look into joining a gym! As soon as I got the ok from my doctor I started working out again. Exercise upped my energy level and made me feel better about myself.
"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 08:21 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459949, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 54
Yes! Working out, definitely has done wonders for my moods and stuff. (Well, before I got pregnant) I'm considering getting an elliptical, just in case I can't get away from the house when they are still small. I think I'll have more luck convincing my dad to watch them for an hour if I'm working out in the basement, then if I just leave him alone with the kids!
(He's somewhat terrified)
Roe
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4kds4me Mon Mar-22-10 08:11 PM
Member since Mar 29th 2007
1226 posts
#459779, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
Congratulations on making it to 28 weeks! That's a major milestone.
After my babies were home from the hospital, I took every opportunity to shower, even if it meant waiting until dh came home. If I wasn't able to shower before he came home, I would still do my hair and makeup. I found that if I felt good about myself, my energy level would increase even when I was dog tired.
As far as keeping the house clean, it is possible. Organization was the key for me. Even if I was exhausted, I made sure that things were picked up before going to bed. A quick pickup only takes a few minutes.
BTW, your positive attitude will come in handy once your babies are born! There may be times in which you feel as if you are going to lose it though. If one of the babies was screaming non-stop, I would sing a lullabye, but would change the words to reflect my frustration,lol!
Don't let the negative attitudes of some posters get to you. I know this is supposed to be a support board, but there are some members that come here and purposely stir things up for their own entertainment.
"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson
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3lilprincess Mon Mar-22-10 08:51 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
390 posts
#459790, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 37
"Don't let the negative attitudes of some posters get to you. I know this is supposed to be a support board, but there are some members that come here and purposely stir things up for their own entertainment."
Sounds Like You Are Speaking From Experience??!!
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4kds4me Mon Mar-22-10 09:12 PM
Member since Mar 29th 2007
1226 posts
#459797, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 41
???
"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson
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3lilprincess Mon Mar-22-10 09:15 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
390 posts
#459798, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 46
Mon Mar-22-10 09:15 PM by 3lilprincess
oh geezzzzz!
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4kds4me Mon Mar-22-10 09:19 PM
Member since Mar 29th 2007
1226 posts
#459804, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 47
Huh?
I don't get it? Am I missing something?
Just trying to give an expectant HOM mom some encouragement and support.
"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson
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stephkessler Mon Mar-22-10 09:25 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
705 posts
#459807, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 37
"Don't let the negative attitudes of some posters get to you. I know this is supposed to be a support board, but there are some members that come here and purposely stir things up for their own entertainment."
Ummmm, don't you mean that there are some posters here that will not blow sunshine and roses up your ass and will tell you the cold hard truth about how absolutely 100% difficult it is to care for 3 preemie infants day in and day out with minimal sleep?
Stephanie
http://kesslerfamily5timesthefun.blogspot.com/
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 08:17 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459947, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 37
Thanks!
I definitely agree, that sometimes taking a few minutes to make yourself feel good is definitely worth it.
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 08:18 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459948, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 37
By the way,
I love that quote!!
Roe
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4kds4me Wed Mar-24-10 08:10 AM
Member since Mar 29th 2007
1226 posts
#460094, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 82
Thanks! It's one of my favorites!
"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson
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4kds4me Wed Mar-24-10 10:46 AM
Member since Mar 29th 2007
1226 posts
#460132, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 159
Wed Mar-24-10 11:37 AM by 4kds4me
Roe,
I went and re-read this whole thread. I'm 100% convinced that whatever pregnancy and motherhood throws at you, you will face it head on, adapt to whatever you need to, move on and be ready to face the next challenge!
It's what ya gotta do!
Life has been rough on my family for the last 4-5 years. But, for the most part, I have been able to maintain my sunshine and rosey attitude. That has been difficult at times though.
One of my triplets was born with Downs and that turned our world upside down, but we picked ourselves up and dealt with it. The nurses in the NICU commented regularly on the sense of humor that we maintained while ours were in the NICU and our non-chalant attitude of having a child with Downs. It's what we needed to do and it felt good.
Take care and hey, you are almost 29 weeks! That's awesome. I had mine at 32 weeks and we were fortunate in that they only had minor preemie issues. I chalk that up to pure luck!
This is my envision for your "the final chapter",LOL: After your babies are born, you will be back on TC providing POSITIVE encouragement and constructive advice to future HOM parents. That's something we need more of around here. Lately, way too many newbies have been driven away from the forum part of TC.
"Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears."-- Gillian Anderson
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 08:38 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459958, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 37
By the way, I really did enjoy your advice, and got alot from it. I think some people just don't understand how to communicate effectively. There are ways to say "hey, it's going to be really hard in the beginning" without being negative.
Remember high school? Remember those mean, nasty girls who were so insecure that they couldn't open their mouth to say anything nice to anyone? Yea. I always felt bad for people like that.
So, thank you so much for your positive response.
Roe
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ansmayhugh Mon Mar-22-10 08:45 PM
Member since Oct 10th 2009
10 posts
#459788, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
Sounds like you are doing great! By the time I was 28 weeks, I had been on bed rest for 8 weeks so the house work fell to my husband! Needless to say, it was not quite up to my standards, but he did what he could after work between making me something to eat!
The first couple of months were difficult, mainly b/c I was so sleep deprived and I was also trying to pump. I only pumped for 2 months b/c it was just too much for me. We stuck to a schedule and I did laundry or a chore when I could. Now that the babies are on a 4 hour schedule, I have more time to get things done. I took showers at night before going to bed for a while. Now I can get ready while they take a morning nap. Some days I wear jeans and a t-shirt, other days it's yoga pants and a t-shirt. It just depends on what I have going on that day.
We had friends making meals for us about twice a week once the babies were about 8 weeks old. We didn't want a lot of company initially b/c we didn't want germs being brought into the house. Those meals helped out a lot! I had two friends organizing the meals so that I didn't have to worry about scheduling them.
I think schedule is key. Keep the babies on the same schedule as much as you can.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!
Sadie
GGB Triplets born at 32w3d on 11/10/09
Audrey, 4 lb 4 oz
Lauren, 4 lb 2 oz
Connor, 4 lb 12 oz
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 08:35 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459956, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 40
Thanks for the advice!
I'm definitely going to try and get them on a schedule as soon as I can!
Roe
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stephkessler Mon Mar-22-10 09:16 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
705 posts
#459800, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
Your only concern right now should be relaxing and keeping those babies gestating as long as possible. Things can change very quickly in a triplet pregnancy and the last thing you want to do is have doubts about whether it was scrubbing that bathroom was the cause of you micro preemies struggling in the NICU. But hey, what the hell, at least your house is clean!
You really need to start worrying less about your house and more about the health of your unborn children. You need to think more about submitting to the vaginal ultrasound cervical checks and swabs necessary for the doctors to do their job and get your babies here safe and healthy. My floor hasn't been totally clean in over 3 years and my house is still standing and if people don't like it then they can go ####. I.don't.care. Your in for a VERY rude awakening, sooner rather than later if you don't start taking this thing seriously and resting.
Stephanie
http://kesslerfamily5timesthefun.blogspot.com/
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 08:41 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459960, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 48
Actually,
if you had followed my previous update, I got a new peri, and I got all of that done already. I love my children. Trust me, everything that I do, I do for them. But I'm also keen on being a good example to them. I'm not going to raise them in a filthy house, and be a depressed frumpy mother to them. Just because having a clean house is important to me in my life, doesn't take away from my love for my children, and the fierceness with which I protect them. I didn't get this far without ANY complications by scratching my ass, and not doing my share of research and fighting for them.
Roe
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MSTAR Tue Mar-23-10 08:46 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#459964, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 89
So did the people who didn't get far spend too much time scratching their asses? Is that why they delivered earlier? Excessive ass scratching? I scratched my ass a lot and made it to 35 weeks. I just blew your ass scratching theory right out of the water.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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6BlueEyes Tue Mar-23-10 08:55 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
676 posts
#459967, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 89
>I didn't get this far
>without ANY complications by scratching my ass, and not doing
>my share of research and fighting for them.
>
>
>Roe
>
You get to 28 weeks by 10% not doing anything stupid, and 90% luck. The game is just starting!
Kelly
Ben, Jack & Drew 05/28/02
Charlie 07/06/06
Aunt to: Liam, Aidan & Connor 03/05/08
www.outnumberedmommy.blogspot.com
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 09:08 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459973, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 96
What I was meant to say, and I think it's pretty clear to understand is that, I don't need any of you ladies, inferring that I am not first and foremost thinking about my babies. These are my babies. And I love them a hell of alot more than any of you do. I do what I have to do for them. Period.
Roe
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MSTAR Tue Mar-23-10 09:17 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#459975, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 102
You definitely love your babies more than I love your babies. I will give you that one. You may be the first person I have ever seen on here that loves their babies MORE because you clean your house. Do you know how much you are tempting fate???? WOW!
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 09:23 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459978, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 104
I never said that. If you are insecure because you couldn't clean your house, that's not my problem. I love my babies, adore them. But it's important to me to keep my house clean. *shrugs*
Roe
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MSTAR Tue Mar-23-10 09:37 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#459985, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 107
You have awesome priorities. To borrow your phrase, I didn't give a "rat's ass" about my house when I was pregnant. I was much more worried about having premature babies. My absolute ONLY concern when I was pregnant was to hold on and make it another day. You need therapy. You sound extremely OCD. I happen to be the child of an obsessive compulsive cleaner, so I know the signs. Now I feel sorry for your kids, because being the child of an OCD cleaner really stinks. I have lots of memories of my mom cleaning stuff and practically none of her actually playing with me. Do your kids a favor and get some medication so you can actually enjoy them.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 09:57 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459995, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 113
You're such a bitch. LOL. I feel bad for your kids, and your husband. Blah blah. I'm not even paying attention to anything else you write anymore. I love my clean house! I intend to keep it that way, even if I have to hire a maid. Go spew your venom elsewhere. (or rather, to someone who will listen)
Roe
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MSTAR Tue Mar-23-10 10:10 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#460002, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 116
But you keep coming back for more, don't ya? You can't even stop yourself. You just have to reply to me because you are my puppet. I know who is going to be your bestfriend on here already. (Can anyone else?????)
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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sandsstone Tue Mar-23-10 10:24 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3032 posts
#460007, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 121
I have been itching to type that name in but I have resisted...I must resist...must resist..cannot get banned!
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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MSTAR Tue Mar-23-10 10:29 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#460010, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 124
Go ahead and say it. You know you want to.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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MSTAR Tue Mar-23-10 10:32 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#460011, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 124
Oh, and Little Miss Positve has called me an asshole and a bitch so far. Sounds like someone needs a Happy Pill!!!!!!! Maybe if she goes and cleans a toilet, she can put her smiley face back on.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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Mom23in2003 Tue Mar-23-10 10:32 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1607 posts
#460012, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 121
LOL! For once I know the answer.
Kristen
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SAReece Tue Mar-23-10 10:51 PM
Member since May 11th 2009
509 posts
#460018, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 121
I guess I havent been around long enough to know... I am just soaking up all of this drama, sitting back eating some popcorn. I am pretty sure Michele and Susan are my heros
Shely~ Mom to 1+GGB
http://thehansontriplets.blogspot.com/
http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/TeamLilyGrace
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stephkessler Wed Mar-24-10 08:15 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
705 posts
#460095, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 89
WOW, really? So, what your saying here is that because there is jelly on the chair in the kitchen, crumbs on the kitchen floor and dog hair on the living room floor that my house is filthy. Having a clean house is important to just about everyone. Sometimes you have to change you definition of clean just to survive. no, having a clean house doesn't mean that you love your children less, it does mean spending a lot less time with those children in order to achieve that pristine condition. Trust me, when your kids are older, they won't care if the house was clean or not, they will however, care whether mommy spent her free time scrubbing the house frantically or playing with them.
Depression is hormonal and something that most of us, with hormones times 3, can't avoid. There is no shame in depression, however, you should be ashamed of assuming that depresses mothers are bad mothers. 90% of HOM mothers experience postpartum depression from the rapid fluctuation in hormone levels.
I don't think people here were being mean, I think that you have more experienced mothers here who are telling you that you are setting yourself up for disappointment. I have 2 older children so when I was on bed rest it was all I could do to take care of them. The house got put on the back burner. Do you know what my children remember during that time? They have very fond memories of cuddling up in bed with me to play board games, color, read and watch t.v. They have absolutely no memory at all of what the house looked like. I'm glad I spent that time with them instead of using the small amount of time I was allowed out of bed each day to clean. I'm sure they are too. By the time I delivered and brought my babies home my house was a wreck and I actually pleased myself because my expectations were so low, I was able to exceed them.
The only one who cares if I'm frumpy looking now is my 11 year old and what does she know, she's 11. She will understand one day and then I'm just gonna laugh. You do what you gotta do the survive and if that means showering combing your hair, throwing on a pair of sweats and looking 'frumpy' then so be it. I could spend 30 minutes getting ready myself or I could spend those 30 minutes playing with my kids. I'll take the playing with my kids, thankyouverymuch!
Just because you made it this far without ANY complications doesn't mean those complications can't arise and if they do, they will arise quickly. Chances are if they arise while you are taking it easy and resting in bed then it won't be so far gone and the doctors will be able to stop it. Things can change overnight.
Stephanie
http://kesslerfamily5timesthefun.blogspot.com/
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michelleannhuse Mon Mar-22-10 09:18 PM
Member since Jun 19th 2009
45 posts
#459802, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
I agree with many of the PPs. I was on bedrest from week 16 so I had housekeepers come each week to clean, my DH did laundry, cooking, dry cleaning, etc.
My girls are 6 and 1/2 months now and I am just getting to the point where I can find time to shower during the day and look decent before noon. But for the first few months, I was in my pjs ALL DAY and I didn't shower until my DH got home. Makeup - yeah right. When you are just trying to survive from very little sleep and three babies not napping on a schedule, trust me, you won't care if your DH comes home and you are still in the clothes he left you in that morning and you haven't showered or put on makeup.
I still have housekeepers come once every two weeks.
And there are still those days when the girls might be sick and I didn't get any sleep the night before and looking "put together" flies right out the window.
I would really start to reduce your activity as much as possible. You will be thankful you did every week that passes you by and you are still carrying those sweet little ones.
Michelle
Triplet GGG born 31 weeks 3 days - 09.05.2009
Addison Ann - 3 lbs. 13.6 oz. - 24 days NICU
Reagan Riley - 3 lbs. 10.6 oz. - 24 days NICU
Baylee Brynn - 4 lbs. 1 oz. - 19 days NICU
http://husegals.blogspot.com
http://lilypie.com>http:
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Meri Mon Mar-22-10 09:53 PM
Member since Jul 08th 2009
153 posts
#459811, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
You've gotten a lot of great advice. My only tip is the Irobot vaccuum cleaner. No it isn't going to do as good as a job as your big one, but I have a dog and this has been a life saver for me. I just turn it on each morning and watch it go! Love it! Then you can do the big vacuuming jobs less frequently. That's my only tip!
As most others I live in sweat pants most days. Your body isn't going to bounce back so it is sort of tough to fit into your old clothes and be comfortable enough to run after little ones. You can always, buy more stylish sweats or yoga pants to feel less frumpy.
Good luck!
Meri
GBG 9/23/09
Gwen 3.8 lbs
Grant 4.11 lbs
Brianne 4.8 lbs
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 08:43 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459961, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 56
Hmm, I will most definitely be looking into this.
Roe
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Tanna Tue Mar-23-10 12:43 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1378 posts
#459826, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
Let me just tell you, you will be so busy and tired once you have your trio, fixing your hair and doing your make-up will be the last thing on your mind or else it was for me. In the last 2 1/2 years I have had my hair cut 2 times. First time was 2 yrs after having the babies and I had 11+ inches cut off and the 2nd time was this past Jan. and I had about 4 inches cut off. I have maybe worn make-up 5 or 6 time since having the babies (counting tonight). I just bought all new make-up this past weekend and I’m starting to wear it again. If you can find the time or the energy to do so, then more power to ya.
I know your peri said you are doing well now but in a triplet pregnancy things can change really fast. My cousin is pregnant with triplets right now and one day her cervix was measuring 3+cm and the very next day it was less than 1cm. She had no contraction between the ultrasounds and it changed with no warning. Thank the good Lord she is still pregnant and she will be 32 weeks on Thursday.
I had my babies at 29 weeks and 4 days and it hasn't been an easy road having preemie babies. I still feel guilt to this day for having them so early. With my DS we are still dealing with issues from him being born so early and he is 2 1/2.
Please don't push yourself. Hire someone now to do the house cleaning or just let it go. If you try to keep your house and you perfect, you will go crazy. Just wait until your trio are mobile; you clean the house and then 10 min later the house is worse than it was befor
I pray that you have a long and uneventful pregnancy.
Tanna
06/22/07 29 weeks 4 days
Lincoln 2 lbs 13 oz
Colton 2 lbs 14.4 oz
Dakota 2 lbs 11oz
http://tannastriplets.blogspot.com/
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 08:45 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459962, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 58
LOL. I appreciate your advice, and I can see what you mean about things changing overnight. I am definitely taking it alot easier, since my family has also started catching me in the act of doing things. I just get frustrated sitting around doing nothing. But I just keep telling myself that May is right around the corner, and they'll soon be here.
Roe
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Mamakitten3 Tue Mar-23-10 12:55 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1529 posts
#459827, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
I would stop cleaning, hire a housekeeper and just hang on for the ride of crazy tripletville, its going to knock your socks, it knocks all of our socks off.
Funny story, I met another triplet mommy from here, I ended up taking her to a mothers of multiples meeting, I had showered, did my hair, put on my face, I was wearing clothes. The next night, I run into her at the grocery store and I was wearing flannel jammy pants and prob the makeup from the night before, it was pretty funny.
BBG 6/21/06
www.tutuloo.net
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lovemy5boys Tue Mar-23-10 11:28 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1471 posts
#459863, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 59
LOL!!!! I SO remember that!! Not that I looked much better. Ahh, our time away, at the grocery store! LMAO!
proud mom to
DS 7
DS 4
BBB 9/29/06 born @ 32w2d
" "
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 08:46 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459963, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 59
LOL.
That is pretty funny
Roe
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scoll Tue Mar-23-10 02:02 AM
Member since Sep 20th 2008
286 posts
#459829, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
Good luck with keeping up with those high standards once your babies come home. I know we would all love to have a perfectly kept house, have time to shower and doll ourselves up, but the reality is that within minutes someone might puke/poop/pee or slobber all over you. You will be exhausted beyond anything you could ever imagine. Showering during the first few months was a luxury! I wore my hair in a ponytail daily, rarely wore makeup, lived in pjs and rarely even found time to fix myself a meal let alone clean up something.
Now at 16 months I do get to shower more, I eat more often and do find more time to clean up (because my kids sleep for longer periods of time.) But I still find my hair in a ponytail, pjs as a preferred outfit and makeup as a special occasion thing.
Realize that your goals aren't unattainable.....it's just that they are unrealistic until your kids get older.......unless you hire help!
THE COLL TRIPLETS BORN NOV 12, 2008 @ 34 WEEKS
BRAEDAN 4 LBS 6 OZ 8:27AM
TEAGAN 3 LBS 2 OZ 8:28AM
SEAN 3 LBS 9 OZ 8:29
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LTriplet08 Tue Mar-23-10 06:12 AM
Member since Sep 19th 2008
362 posts
#459832, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
In re-reading the initial question here, I just don't get it, so she is concerned with looking nice and keeping the house clean? I was and I am sure a lot of you were. I wanted a decent looking house and wanted to look good, or at least clean, get back to my fighting weight, and I wanted to breastfeed and pump for a year. Maybe just now, post-triplets, it seems funny because you now know that you can't 'do it all' without sacrifice. My sacrifice was pumping and BF, I was too exhausted to produce, the kids didn't sleep well. But they are healthy and strong and now I am over it and have no regrets.
I don't know what else Roe has posted, I just drop in here occasionally, but I don't think her question was too crazy.
Just like a lot of people said, just adjust your thinking to wait and see. It's not like you will have the babies and then BAM your house is a wreck and you look like hell. You'll have bottles and diapers to deal with but in the beginning that is no big deal. A couple tiny sleepers and burp cloths a day, laundry can be done every few days in the beginning.
In the beginning you will be fat and tired. But you won't see that. You will feel like you look like a supermodel after being so huge in pregnancy anyway so you at least THINK you look good. Good luck.
GGB born 12/26/08 @ 34 weeks
4 lb 14 oz
4 lb 12 oz
4 lb 5 oz
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sandsstone Tue Mar-23-10 07:03 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3032 posts
#459837, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 62
Her first post just made me laugh at the fact that willpower alone could do it. It resides a lot more with the blessing/luck of having easy babies, having great help, and not having any other crisis insert itself into your life at that time (ie lose job, death in family, medical issue, housing trouble). It was that very naive belief that her awesome willpower can overcome these issues enough to go through them and still have a lovely house, great grooming, and be on top of it all that just made me laugh out loud.
Also, though I don't know the details, from your comments about only needing to wash a couple tiny sleepers and burp cloths a day, I am assuming you did not have big spitters. We did two loads a day for a long time, and that was after we quit changing clothes due to spitup...otherwise it would have been another load or two in there daily.
That real life experience is just one of the reasons why many of us laugh and say, hey...lower your expectations now and it will be either a bonus when you find out you have easy babies and can keep up...or it will be less depressing when you realize you don't and you are forced to lower your expectations.
My first post was amused, but after it was inferred that I just didn't have enough willpower and let myself go to the shitters...well that was just not the truth.
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 08:50 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459965, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 62
Awesome, Awesome Post!!
I just want to make sure that I am happy and comfortable while caring for my babies. I've had friends who've had one child, and their house smelled like crap, and they had clothes and dishes all over the place. And they were depressed. This is something that I want to avoid. I can accept that I will be wearing my yoga pants on a daily basis. I do that now. I can accept that my hair will be pulled up. I do that now. But I am always showered, and my face is moisturized, and I feel gorgeous because I invested those few minutes in myself. I really just wanted some tips on how some other women have managed to avoid becoming completely depressed and gross after their children were born. I know that it's easy to be overwhelmed. Despite alot of the negativity, some people did give some great advice, so it was worth asking in the end.
Roe
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sandsstone Tue Mar-23-10 09:16 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3032 posts
#459974, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 94
Since you would like helpful and practical advice, I would suggest you take a moment to do an advanced search on postpartum depression. The hormone swing that you will experience can throw your entire mind and body out of whack. Some MOM's experience this after the birth, some don't experience it until they quit pumping or breast feeding. Whenever it happens it can be debilitating. For some it manifests as an inability to stay awake, constant crying etc. and in others it could be inability to sleep, slow down, anxiety and inability to eat. If it does occur and is not going away, please remember it is a chemical imbalance and seek help. Many moms and MOM's don't until relatives or friends intervene...and force them to.
I have heard a year thrown around as the time it took for the hormones to resolve (without meds) and I have heard of some that finally got help after a year and for whom it has never resolved. Each case is different, as is the cure...some need antidepressants, some had thyroid or iron issues, some had old medical issues surface or congenital issues make themselves known, and others just needed to talk. Whatever the cause of it, be aware it happens to the majority of MOM's and have a plan for it.
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 09:26 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459979, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 103
You know, I actually have done that. And, while I'm not a big fan of medications, I would be willing to go get some if I go through it. I have a list of all the symptoms.
We'll see what happens.
Roe
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sandsstone Tue Mar-23-10 09:36 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3032 posts
#459984, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 108
Have you ever thought your friends might have needed someone to push them to go get help and that the messy house was one of the symptoms?
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 10:01 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459997, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 112
Well, I tried to help her clean. And I tried to talk to her about maybe seeing someone, or getting some help. But at the time she was also going through some difficulties with her husband, and I didn't really want to overstep my bounds. Honestly, at the time I had NO IDEA what I could possibly do or say to make her feel better. Other than to offer her my services, as far as helping her clean up a little, and just being there to support her. But it was pretty bad, I think about it often now, and I think having seen her go through that convinced me that if I should start exhibiting these signs, I would definitely go for some help.
Roe
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Crystal Tue Mar-23-10 10:53 PM
Member since May 27th 2008
1111 posts
#460020, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 117
I flat-out told my mom, husband, and MIL that it was their job to watch out for my psychological well-being. PPD isn't a choice. There isn't one single thing you can do to avoid it. No "tips" to prevent it. It is what it is and you're either going to et it or you aren't. I can think of only one thing that *might* help. Stop making plans. You will beat yourself up by trying to meet your own expectations. I mean, you will literally abuse yourself. If you want a clean house, hire a maid. If you want a shower, take one. But let everything else go.
And one other thing that might help is to figure out how to get along with your husband after the babies come home. My husband and I are best friends. I would actually put money on us having the best marriage in the entire world (okay, not that perfect, but you get the idea). Well, even with our superfantastic relationship, I wanted to leave his ass on more than one occasion. And I'm pretty sure he wanted to kick me to the curb once or twice, too. He pissed me off repeatedly for the entire first year. And this is a man who did EVERYTHING for me and the girls. He is the most perfect father to them. I was just really hormonal and exhausted, and I got pissed off at the tiniest things. So keep that in mind, too. You're no just dealing with 3 babies, you're having to gt used to an entirely new relationship with your husband. It's not easy...it's like the first year of marriage all over again. So many tests.
Anyway, back to my original point: just let go of your plans and be flexible.
Crystal
http://familycernanec.blogspot.com/
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 10:58 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#460022, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 133
I assure you, I am most definitely flexible and adaptable. Which is why I'm open to hiring help to keep the house clean in case I become a total basket case. And my husband is also my best friend, I'm pretty sure we'll have our ups and downs, as I believe I've said before in this thread, I'm expecting that. And I'm okay with a little bit of crazy. As for PPD, I've talked to my husband about the possibility of that happening, and getting me help asap. I pray that I don't fall down that hole, but if I do, I'm going to get the help I need.
Roe
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cdemp Tue Mar-23-10 08:48 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1737 posts
#459845, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
Tue Mar-23-10 09:07 AM by cdemp
Roe,
I've never been able to keep up with the cleaning since I've had kids. It always stresses me out to see my house in chaos because I do like to have a clutter-free home. Right now I don't have someone who cleans, but when I did, I was so happy not having to worry about coming home from work and cleaning. My dds are older now and help me clean but I would still LOVE to hire someone because my free labor isn't very good - lol. I'm wash clothes on a daily basis. I washed a lot of loads when they were little, but I have so many more now that the kids have more and bigger clothes.
As far as myself goes, I made it a point to at least take a quick shower (talking 5 minutes here) and putting on some jeans and a clean shirt every day when my gggs were babies. I guess I'm vain but I always put on a little make-up whenever I went to the store. I've never been one to wear a lot of make up, so it only took me a few minutes.
Since you have family around to help you, take advantage of that. It would be helpful for someone you trust to come during the day and watch the babies for an hour or two so you can take a nap. You'll be SO SLEEP DEPRIVED the first few months, and that nap will help you function. Also, if you can have someone help you with the grocery shopping (as someone previously mentioned), that would help immensely. I always did my own laundry, but you can always have volunteers help you with your laundry as well.
The first year is very tough because it's exhausting, but you'll get through it. We all do. I would definitely recommend hiring someone to clean your house, so you don't stress over it! In fact, I would say hire someone right now, and don't worry about cleaning your house while your pregnant. Right now you just need to take it easy. GL -- Gloria
Mom to almost 12 year old dd, 10 year old dd, and 8 year old gggs
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 08:54 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459966, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 67
Thanks!
I am definitely looking into hiring someone to come in. I was asking a few friends who have housekeepers how the process goes, since I am a little apprehensive about having someone I don't know come in. But I'm already starting on that research
Roe
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LolasLadies Tue Mar-23-10 08:51 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
2107 posts
#459846, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
You say the babies are heavy? Every single time you stand up, those "heavy" babies are pressing down on the only part of your body holding them in - your cervix. My doctor also told ME that I was doing perfectly and didn't need bedrest. I went into labor 3 days later and had micropreemies the next morning.
From all your posts you sound a bit stubborn (that's not always a bad thing) but you need to choose your battles. Do you really want to tell your children that their struggles from prematurity are because you fought the good fight against a dirty house?
I'm assuming these are your first children, and EVERY parent goes through the "rude awakening" period. Triplet parenthood is not as simple as checking things off a list: Baby Fed (check) Diaper changed (check)... You'll have illnesses and crying for no reason and poop that leaks out the side of the diapers onto random surfaces and vomiting and all of this TIMES THREE. Add pumping/BFing and your life is going to be nothing but babies.
People here are trying to help you understand this, but you're very combative. Take a deep breath and try to absorb what they're telling you, and take it easy before those babies make their entrance too soon!
Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks
Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 08:58 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459968, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 68
I am combative. I am especially combative when someone I don't know says she's going to laugh at me when I come back her begging for medication. And that I'm in for the most miserable years of my life. Sorry if that's a bad trait. But I wasn't raised to just sit there, and have people talk all that nonsense in my face. ESPECIALLY, when it had nothing to do with the initial question. I don't respond well to negative tones, and I don't care how people take that. I treat others with respect, and there are a zillion different ways to say what you want to say without talking down to someone, and being negative.
With that said,
How do you know my children will be born premature? We aren't there yet. I have every hope that these babies are going to make the c section date, that the doctor and I have have talked about. It's not good to assume that because I got the green light from my Peri and doctor to do some light walking and cleaning that I won't make my intended goal. I'm in it to win it.
I guess we'll see what happens when I post after their birth.
Roe
P.S- I do however appreciate your concern. It's just some people like to be talked to like people, not children.
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sandsstone Tue Mar-23-10 09:19 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3032 posts
#459976, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 97
Um...premature means before 37 weeks. I only know of a couple cases where the doctors let the moms go to that point. Research shows that after 36 weeks, any further time in the womb is often detrimental in a triplet PG.
36 weeks is premature.
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 09:28 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459980, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 105
I realize this. But in my case, what I mean by premature is anything before the 36 weeks that I want to go to. But I do realize that 36 weeks is premature. However there are some women that were able to take their 36 weekers home, so that is what I'm rooting for.
Roe
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sandsstone Tue Mar-23-10 09:34 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3032 posts
#459982, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 109
Premature means that although they are take home babies..they are not NORMAL babies. There is a lot that goes on in that last month.
The last mother I spoke to who had that belief nearly lost one of her trio this winter...she had to be life flighted to the hospital and was there for over a month...and was on the vent.
Many in our group warned her, repeatedly, but she didn't listen.
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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SAReece Tue Mar-23-10 09:46 PM
Member since May 11th 2009
509 posts
#459991, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 111
Sorry, I just wanted to chime in... I have 36 weekers (actually 35 weeks 6 days, a few hours shy of 36 weeks), all 3 take home babies, and Susan is right, there is still a big difference. All 3 of mine have reflux, 1 has reflux so severe that it has caused her to get ulcerations in her esophagus, which in turn caused a food aversion and she absolutely refuses to eat anything by mouth. She is about to have surgery on Monday to have a g-tube and nissen. She is in failure to thrive and has been for the last 3 months and now it is threatening her brain growth... all because of reflux which was caused by being just a tiny bit premature. 36 weeks does not mean that it gives them a good bill of health unfortunately.
Shely~ Mom to 1+GGB
http://thehansontriplets.blogspot.com/
http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/TeamLilyGrace
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 10:07 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459999, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 114
I'm aware that there is a hard battle for them. But the best that I can do is keep them in until they are 36 weeks. I don't understand how from asking an innocent question (which was supposed to be fun) I got all these doom responses. I am aware that the beginning is going to extremely difficult. Not everyone wants to go on a forum and start crying out their fears. I know I'm not. I post when I need advice or a little pick me up, since most of my friends have no clue what it's like to be pregnant with triplets.
I do EVERYTHING that I can for my children. I am in constant contact with my doctors. And considering that I've only made what.. five posts all in all in this community?- I don't think that people inferring that I'm not aware of what to expect is right. I've got all these deets from my doctor, there isn't anything that I do, (including the cleaning) that hasn't been cleared by my peri and main doctor.
I can understand the concern, and the warning- STOP CLEANING. I get it, and I'm going to cut down on it. But it really bugs me that people are assuming that I don't know what's going on. Or that I didn't bother to inform myself.
Roe
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Mom23in2003 Tue Mar-23-10 10:39 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1607 posts
#460015, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 118
Roe, everybody here expected to make it to 36 weeks. EVERYONE. Chances are, you will not, though I hope you will. I believed with all my heart I would make it to 36 weeks, and I didn't. You have no control, unfortunately.
Do you truly not know why people are reacting strongly to you? Here's a hint. Coming in as a brand new member of an established group, asking advice from people who have been in your shoes and have also been through way more than you have, and then saying something like this:
"I don't think having multiples is a good enough excuse to let your house go down in the shitter, and your looks as well."
THAT is offensive. You don't have a CLUE what it is going to be like when you get your babies home. To come to a group that at this point has infinitely more real-world wisdom about caring for newborn triplets than you currently do, and implying that they let their house go down the shitter and their looks as well because they did not possess your strong will and good attitude is inviting snarkiness and some backlash.
You do NOT know what it is like having multiples, and until you do, it is the height of rudeness to go around saying crap like that to moms who DO know what it is like.
And having a grandma that had 7 kids and a spotless house doesn't count.
Kristen
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 11:05 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#460028, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 129
I realize that I'm a new member. But you guys have to also realize that just because you have more experience, and you know what is coming does NOT give you the right to try and put people down. There were several ways for people to say what they wanted to say without being as hostile as they were. I honestly believe some people in this communities see the newbies, and think "Ahh fresh meat. I'll just treat her like ####"
I'm not into that.
I didn't come into this community to put anyone down. I haven't laughed at anyone's questions, and if I find that I can't say something in a positive way, I say nothing at all. At the end of the day, we are all ADULTS. And we should be able to understand that each of us had alot on our plate. We have fears, frustrations, and we come here for some advice and reassurance. Not to get laughed at, and belittled.
I will offend someone if they offend me. That's just the way I'm wired. This isn't high school, I don't feel that just because I'm new I should be a doormat for someone who doesn't care whether or not her comments will hurt my feelings.
To add to this, the initial question didn't require so much hostility. I am hoping that being in this forum will be a positive thing for me. But if it isn't, then I won't waste my time in here. If you want respect, then you also have to give it.
There's no way, you are going to laugh at someone and make a snide comment, and actually expect that person to turn around and be nice in return.
Roe
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LolasLadies Tue Mar-23-10 11:15 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
2107 posts
#460035, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 138
I'm so glad someone is here to show us the LIGHT!
Aw man, you are too much fun. At least you gave it a shot to appear like the innocent victim. Unfortunately, I went back and reread the thread and saw when it all went downhill. (Reply #10, in case you're wondering.)
Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks
Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com
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Mom23in2003 Tue Mar-23-10 11:22 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1607 posts
#460040, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 138
But Roe, you have been judgmental and you have put people down. That statement you made that I quoted above was dripping with judgment. It's as if you said, you people may have let your house go down the shitter, but I'm better than that so I'm not going to turn out like you pitiful people. If you didn't mean it that way, I'm here to tell you, that's how you came across. Like you are better than the rest of us, because you aren't going to let your house and yourself go to hell. And people here are just trying to tell you, you don't know what life is going to be like and you will probably be changing your tune. The fact that you got so hostile toward people who were just trying to tell you the truth fueled everything.
New people come here every day and assimilate into this group. You are having trouble. It's not because a bunch of people here got together and decided to pick on you, it's because your posts are coming across as judgmental, holier-than-thou, know-it-all and rude. This group has wonderful things to offer you that you are going to absolutely need in 3-4 months. It was my lifeline when my kids were in their first couple of years and I needed advice, ideas and support.
I do hope you stick around. I'm engaging in this back and forth with you not to argue or pick on you but because I don't think you realize how you are coming across. You have so much you could learn here and you will need support. Like you said, your friends don't understand. But we do! If you walk away, you will be the one who misses out, not this forum.
Kristen
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sandsstone Tue Mar-23-10 10:43 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3032 posts
#460017, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 118
"I can understand the concern, and the warning- STOP CLEANING. I get it, and I'm going to cut down on it."
Stop does not equal cut down on it. Stop means cease, desist, discontinue, end, halt, arrest...
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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MSTAR Tue Mar-23-10 11:03 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#460025, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 130
Is there anyway to skip to the last chapter in this story to see how this pregancy ends? This one is going to be a nail biter fer sure.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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Crystal Tue Mar-23-10 11:12 PM
Member since May 27th 2008
1111 posts
#460034, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 137
She's going to keep cleaning, deliver at 37 weeks, and come home to a filthy house that her husband neglected while she was laid up in the hospital. But since she'll have take-home babies, she'll have to decide between cleaning, showering, or breastfeeding. She won't be able to decide, so she'll come on here Asking for advice specifically from you, MSTAR. You'll rejoice, say "I told you so", and all will be right with the world. It will be awesome.
Crystal
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MSTAR Tue Mar-23-10 11:27 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3513 posts
#460043, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 142
LMAO. I love that ending.
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 11:10 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#460032, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 130
LOL.
Again, I know you ladies went through this. But no pregnancy is the same, and considering my doctors see nothing wrong with me, and my cervix is in great condition, and they actually recommend that I do something "light" to prevent clots, I'm not going to put myself on total bedrest. I do spend most of the day resting. I don't see how washing my dishes, and walking around the house can be a problem if the doctor says it isn't.
Thanks for your response.
Roe
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Crystal Tue Mar-23-10 11:21 PM
Member since May 27th 2008
1111 posts
#460038, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 140
Two of my daughter's docs told us not to worry about her when she was ill last week. We got a third opinion later that day and ended up in the er and admitted her to the hospital for 3 days with pneumonia, an ear infection, and another unidentified virus. A doctors opinion can only be trusted during an exam. Unless your doc is examining you twice/day, his/her opinion shouldn't matter. Listen to your body. If those babies feel heavy, it's time to put yourself on bedrest.
Crystal
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Crystal Tue Mar-23-10 11:22 PM
Member since May 27th 2008
1111 posts
#460039, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 140
Two of my daughter's docs told us not to worry about her when she was ill last week. We got a third opinion later that day and ended up in the er and admitted her to the hospital for 3 days with pneumonia, an ear infection, and another unidentified virus. A doctors opinion can only be trusted during an exam. Unless your doc is examining you twice/day, his/her opinion shouldn't matter. Listen to your body. If those babies feel heavy, it's time to put yourself on bedrest.
Crystal
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sandsstone Wed Mar-24-10 06:38 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3032 posts
#460076, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 140
Again..
You don't get it.
When you do...register under another username...because your comments and thread will haunt you.
Sorry I could not defend myself. I had to go take care of refluxing children, finish the birthday invitations I am making (while posting to the thread), do some of the cleaning, work a bit on taxes, update my DH on everything (he's out of town for work) and finish getting everything ready for tomorrow so I can take DD to the doctor and still get to work at a reasonable time.
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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roundtwo Wed Mar-24-10 07:25 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
540 posts
#460086, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 140
While I don't agree with all the negative comments from others, I do have to pipe in...
I would give absolutely ANYTHING to go back to where you are. At 28 weeks everything was fabulous. My cervix was perfect. My blood pressure was great. I felt great. I passed all the gluclose tests. All of the peris in the clinic were telling me they thought I'd make it to 35 weeks. I was never on official bedrest. Just like you, I was told to take it easy. Lay around a lot, but doctors still said I could make my own dinners and shower and hell even a quick trip to Target was ok as long as it was just for a few things and no more than 30 minutes. All this was said to me on a Thursday. On Saturday something just felt a little off so I decided to get checked out. Got admitted and delivered 2 days later due to HELLP syndrome when my liver started to shut down. Even though everything worked out ok, I still 3 years later wonder the if onlys ... If only I had put myself on bedrest would I have gotten a few more weeks. It's something I can never change now.
Jennifer
GBG 2/20/2007
@29 weeks
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carina Wed Mar-24-10 02:19 PM
Member since May 23rd 2008
166 posts
#460161, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 157
>While I don't agree with all the negative comments from
>others, I do have to pipe in...
>
>I would give absolutely ANYTHING to go back to where you are.
>At 28 weeks everything was fabulous. My cervix was perfect. My
>blood pressure was great. I felt great. I passed all the
>gluclose tests. All of the peris in the clinic were telling me
>they thought I'd make it to 35 weeks. I was never on official
>bedrest. Just like you, I was told to take it easy. Lay around
>a lot, but doctors still said I could make my own dinners and
>shower and hell even a quick trip to Target was ok as long as
>it was just for a few things and no more than 30 minutes. All
>this was said to me on a Thursday. On Saturday something just
>felt a little off so I decided to get checked out. Got
>admitted and delivered 2 days later due to HELLP syndrome when
>my liver started to shut down. Even though everything worked
>out ok, I still 3 years later wonder the if onlys ... If only
>I had put myself on bedrest would I have gotten a few more
>weeks. It's something I can never change now.
Don't blame yourself! HELP Syndrome is not something u could have prevented. It just happens. Thankgoodness your little ones pulled thru!
Fran
Mom to;
DD 4
BBG 18months
DD 3months
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PA triplets Tue Mar-23-10 10:07 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
3112 posts
#460000, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 109
I had 36 weekers. Two were take home babies. The other was in the NICU for a week. They were still premature. We had to take precautions against RSV and were mostly quarantined in the winter. I had 3 refux babies who liked to spit up anywhere and everywhere. After 3.5 years of babies and toddlers my couch should probably be condemned even though we cleaned up every "incident".
I tried to pump but it was just too exhausting. I gave it up after 6-8 weeks. No one is trying to discourage you from doing that, just to be realistic. Sleep deprivation is horrible and there is no way to prepare for that or to know how you are going to be able to handle it.
It is a wonderful goal to get to 36 weeks but EVERYONE has that goal. Few make it for a reason. Things can change in a heartbeat in a triplet pregnancy. You don't want to look back if you deliver earlier than expected and wonder if cleaning the house or anything else contributed to the early birth of your children.
I wasn't on bedrest but I realized early on there were things that weren't a good idea. I don't think I cleaned the floor or scrubbed a tub from the moment I found out it was triplets. Of course I did some light cleaning earlier but by 28 weeks I sat around and did almost nothing. I sat in a chair with my feet up, layed on the couch or my bed. I watched TV, played on the computer, read, napped. Occasionally I would go out to eat if my DH dropped me off and picked me up at the door or shop for a short time if I could ride a motorized cart. Mostly I stayed home and rested. Yes, it gets boring but I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Lori
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6BlueEyes Tue Mar-23-10 10:11 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
676 posts
#459854, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
My house has never been perfect and I am not high maintenance with my looks, but even when my kids were babies, I made sure to get into the shower every day and keep the house sort of picked up. I had a cleaning lady every other week to keep it from getting disgusting, but always tried to make sure that the dishes were in the dishwashwer, the laundry was moving and things didn't get out of hand. People always thought I was weird, but I also got the babies cleaned and "dressed" every day. They way the house looked, and the way that I looked and the way the babies looked were important to me and it seriously made me feel better. Again, we didn't look good...I just did the minimum to feel good and not be embarassed if someone was coming over. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. It gave me some control over my life.
That being said, unless you get help 24 hours a day, having 3 infants will be way harder than you think. If any of them have any medical issues, no matter how minor, it will completely disrupt your life and plans for the day/week/month/year. Only one of mine had reflux, but feeding that kid and cleaning up after him was a nightmare...not to mention his 2 brothers that were still infants and still required the "normal" amount of work. It was hard! I mention that because when you feel completely overwhelmed, I think it is nice to know that it is normal and you will survive. Also, breastfeeding and pumping is excellent and I commend you for planning to do it, but expect it to be hard...really, really hard. If you are prepared for that, I'm sure you will do just fine. I also think a positive attitude works wonders, but you have to be realistic too.
As for your cleaning now, I really, really urge you to stop! Put yourself on mostly bedrest. Maybe you are one of the lucky ones that can carry to 36 weeks without a problem, but maybe you aren't. Unfortunately, you have no way of knowing. You only get one chance to get this right. Do absolutely everything you can to carry those babies as long as possible. If your cleaning cuts your pregancy by even a week, it is something that you will regret forever. You will understand this advice completely the first time that you see those tiny, tiny babies. 36 weeks is still early and that is the latest that you will be able to go...the average is only 32-33 weeks. If you have never seen a 32 or 33 week baby, find some pictures. 32 weeks is excellent for triplets, but it is still very early and it is so hard to see your kids struggle. I've seen so many people make that mistake and I was almost one of them. Plunk yourself on the couch and stay there. Keep those babies cooking and enjoy them for the rest of your lives with no regrets.
Good luck!!
Kelly
Ben, Jack & Drew 05/28/02
Charlie 07/06/06
Aunt to: Liam, Aidan & Connor 03/05/08
www.outnumberedmommy.blogspot.com
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 09:02 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459969, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 69
Thank you for your response. I am definitely going to ease up on the cleaning. I figure you ladies who have stated that being too active can be bad for me, know what you are talking about. I will still do some light swiffering here, and there, and wash my dishes. But since my husband is more than willing to do the heavy stuff, I'll just watch him clean and bark orders. (LOL he'll love that.)
Roe
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gindoll Tue Mar-23-10 10:24 AM
Member since Dec 23rd 2009
27 posts
#459857, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
What has helped me with atleast looking presentable is while they are feeding (I put them in their boppy pillows on my bed and prop their bottles)I am able to put my makeup on and do my hair. I have long hair so it is basically always in a ponytail but I always have one of those stretchy headband things on which make it look a little cuter. lol. If they are all sleeping at once I shower but if not I put them right outside the bathroom door on a blanket or in their seats with toys. It is a little difficult at first but I think it is important to get ready so you feel good about yourself. Oh and I wear tanktops alot because when you are holding them or burping them there is less fabric for them to spit up on.
The house work gets a little tricky. Just do a little each day but do concentrate on having it super clean just picked up. And if you have people around you that want to help don't be afraid to give them stuff to do. I would usually think of things that need to be done and when people came over they would always want to help so I would just say "yeah can you put my dishes away" or "put a load in" etc. Remember that people like to feel useful and like helping.
35 weeks 2 days GBB 11/22/09
Bella 4lbs 11oz (7 days NICU)
Liam 4lbs 4oz(7 days NICU)
Aiden 5lbs 3oz (19 days NICU)
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 09:03 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459970, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 70
Thanks! Great advice!
Roe
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jilly_b Tue Mar-23-10 11:24 AM
Member since Feb 10th 2009
354 posts
#459862, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
I made a point to shower everyday, I just had to in order to not feel like a zombie...well I did still feel like one but not quite as bad without showering. My hair always was and still is in a ponytail. I live in yoga type clothes. My house is not as tidy or clean as before babies but I have been able to keep up with most things. Tidying up a few minutes a few times a day makes a huge difference. I don't vacuum, clean the bathrooms or wash the floors as much as I probably should, but it gets done and no one is any worse off for it not happening as often. I did and still do a load (or more) of laundry every day or every other day and I fold when they are playing. I clean out the dishwasher while they are in their highchairs. You will find ways to maximize your time. The first few months were really hard, but you'll find what works best for you.
Good luck!
Jill
www.rauckmantrio.blogspot.com/
Sept 5/08 @ 32w6d
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 09:05 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#459971, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 72
I think I'm headed down the path you're on. LOL.
I live in yoga pants. I love them. They are comfortable, and not as sore to look at as sweatpants. Well, sweatpants don't look good on me, so yoga pants it is!
Thanks!
Roe
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Sabbra Tue Mar-23-10 10:35 PM
Member since Jun 17th 2008
109 posts
#460013, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
Do you know what cleaning my house got me? 6 weeks in AntiPartum and delivering my babies 13 weeks early. I'm not being facetious. If I could go back, I would have let other people do the work.
Mom to
Mario 2 lb 1 oz NICU 76 days
Luigi 2 lb 3 oz NICU 76 days
& Peach 1 lb 9 oz NICU 109 days
Born at 27 weeks
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6BlueEyes Tue Mar-23-10 11:08 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
676 posts
#460031, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 128
Are those your kids names for real?!?! When I tell my boys tomorrow, they will think that you are the coolest mom in the entire world!
Kelly
Ben, Jack & Drew 05/28/02
Charlie 07/06/06
Aunt to: Liam, Aidan & Connor 03/05/08
www.outnumberedmommy.blogspot.com
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Sabbra Wed Mar-24-10 01:42 PM
Member since Jun 17th 2008
109 posts
#460156, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 139
No, those aren't their real names, but they probably would be if their dad had his way.
Mom to
Mario 2 lb 1 oz NICU 76 days
Luigi 2 lb 3 oz NICU 76 days
& Peach 1 lb 9 oz NICU 109 days
Born at 27 weeks
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roe Tue Mar-23-10 11:11 PM
Member since Oct 22nd 2009
132 posts
#460033, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 128
Understood.
Roe
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lsmiller Wed Mar-24-10 01:23 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1040 posts
#460064, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 141
LOL. What an entertaining thread.
I was doing fine at 28 weeks- not one problem. I didn't clean when pregnant - my Mom did it for me. Before that I always cleaned and my house was spotless.
At 29 weeks I had PTL and was in the hospital until 34.5 weeks when I delivered. I did scratch my ass a lot so maybe that's why I had PTL?
My house was spotless when the babies were infants. I lost all my preg weight plus some extra. My secret? Grief. Only 2 babies came home.
I kept that up for a while and finally realized that it is more important to spend time with my kids and less time with my house.
My kids are 6 now. We homeschool and I work from home (60 hrs a week). My house is no longer spotless. It hasn't gone to the shitter (yet), but it is sometomes dusty and laundry is not always folded, beds are rarely made, etc. But you know what?? I spend quality time with my kids and that is what they will cherish and remember for the rest of their lives. It bothers me when my house is messy - but I deal with it because time with my kids is more important. There is only so many hours in a day - and I do what I think is most important.
I grew up with a mom who was obsessed with cleaning. I always felt like she thought the house was more important than me and my brothers. I'll go back to my spotless house when the kids are older.
FWIW - the 'Bitch' and 'Asshole' ia one mean chicken farmer! She does more stuiff with her kids and spends more time with them than just about anyone I know. And they most definetly have a lot of fun!
Most people could only hope to be as good a mother as she is.
You have some pretty high ideals given the work you will be faced with when these babies come home. Nothing wrong with that. Just remember to keep everything in perspective. Down the road, the kids won't remember (or care) if there was dust on the baseboard. They will remember the trips to the park, sitting in your lap reading books,helping you cook (even though they make abig mess), etc. You get the idea.
Good luck. I truly do hope you make it to 36 weeks and get take home babies.
http://www.brianandcharlie.com/blog
^Alexandra^, Brian, Charlie 07/28/2003
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ask Wed Mar-24-10 10:37 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
417 posts
#460130, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
I hope you continue to have a happy, healthy pregnancy!
Once my babies came home from the NICU, our house stayed "ok" looking for the first 2-3 months because the only thing that I did was pump, eat, change babies, hold babies, and nap. The kitchen and laundry were really the only things that needed to be kept up with, and my mom was here a lot to help. To answer your specific question of how do I "stay on top of things, while still spending time with babies", I'll tell you that I didn't for the first few months.
I had easy babies (who were anemic when they came home from the hospital, so they slept a LOT!), but I still did not feel like I had the energy or the inclination to spend much time on me. I'm not big on makeup, and a baseball cap worked for me when my hair was limp, dirty, and streaky (didn't have my hair lightened for the time of the pregnancy or the first year pumping), so I can't offer suggestions on that.
I pumped for a year, and despite what they say "should" happen, I didn't lose ANY baby weight while I was producing breastmilk. I was big, bloated, hormonal, and I leaked breastmilk all of the time (and even when I DID shower, I smelled like a wet tennis shoe as a result of the leaking)...not very glamourous, so as other PP have mentioned, low expectations are good! I think it is important to recognize the difference between looking "put together" and "looking good" (and it sounds like you do)...I managed to "look good" (in a post-triplet-body kind of way) about 4 or 5 times that 1st year (holidays and the one or two dates dh and I had).
That said, I was, in general, a very, very happy mom and I was (at least to my recollection) very positive about our life. Hopefully you'll find that to be true for yourself, regardless of the house!
As to everything else going on in this thread, I will say this: attitude/rudeness or not, I can't think of a poster on this board that will not celebrate with you if your babies are born healthy and at 36 weeks or offer support or a prayer if they are born earlier and in the NICU with preemie issues.
Forget about the drama and take what these mothers are saying to heart about your situation right now, even though you didn't ask for their opinions about your pregnancy. I've been here for more than 7 years and there have been so, so many whose pregnancies were going "just fine" and then suddenly, they weren't, with no warning. (If you can be doing something different to help your odds of keeping those babies cookin', we, as a community of HOM moms, suggest it.) Sadly, there are also women on this board that have stories of their doctors not taking their HOM pregnancies and physical symptoms as seriously as they should have, and with devastating consequences...
it's good to feel you can trust your peri, but they are not ALWAYS right.
I think we, as a community, give the advice of "better to be safe than sorry" for so many different aspects of HOM pregnancy and preterm labor and/or delivery is the biggest issue. If your peri doesn't think it's a big deal for you to be up and about in between resting, then it probably isn't a big deal (if that means standing at the sink for 5 minutes at a time swishing a dish cloth around in a cup, or folding a few tshirts from a laundry basket). I think the other thing many of us have discussed over the years is that it is easy to get up thinking you'll just be up for 5 minutes, but then you get distracted ("while I'm waiting for the soup to heat up, I'll put these few dishes away, and because I'm going back to the living room to lie down, I'll just grab these few books and put them on the bookshelf in there, and maybe dust while I'm there") and then suddenly you realize you've been on your feet, bending and picking stuff up, for 30 minutes! Watch out for that!
You've commented that the babies feel heavy...heavy as in, "I feel huge", or heavy as in "I feel pressure"? There can be a big difference.
Some peris recommend complete bedrest at 24-28 weeks. It's controversial, but there IS a reson some feel this is a good choice...our bodies, in general, want those babies OUT!
Take care, and I wish you and your little ones well,
ask
ggb at 30 weeks
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ask Wed Mar-24-10 11:00 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
417 posts
#460135, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 161
I think the other thing to note is the fact that the phrase "listen to your body" really only works in HOM pregnancies as advice when something DOESN'T feel right. You can feel just fine and there can still be things that are NOT right going on, especially this far along. My example of this is the fact that I thought my sweet little ones were kicking me regularly at 24 weeks...it turns out I was having contractions every 3-12 minutes. I felt about 1 out of every 10(and thought the babies were just kicking).
Take care,
ask
ggb at 30 weeks
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Megan Welfare Wed Mar-24-10 11:26 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
6196 posts
#460138, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
Hey Roe, sorry you are feeling attacked. Some members here are very tell-it-like-it-is, blunt people, but they do know what they are talking about, so try to let it roll off!
Before I had kids, my house was 100% perfect. Like, could have been photographed for a magazine at any moment in time with no notice. I cannot let my house completely go, but I have had to prioritize.
Dishes & laundry are always at the very top of the list, because if I get behind on those, it all gets out of control really fast! My second priority is cleaning the kitchens & bathrooms. I must admit that the rest of the house gets a little neglected. I think there is an inch of dust in my dining room right now! When they go to school full days, I'll try to get the house back in shape!
I also have had to be very diligent about assigning places to everything, and making sure the kids know where they are. Jackets, backpacks, shoes, etc. go in the mudroom. Toys stay in the playroom. They get carried out sometimes, but the kids know they SHOULD go in the playroom and they all get back there by the end of each day in our "cleanup dash". I have bins for everything, with a picture of the toy that is supposed to be there taped to the front. You get the idea.
I would like to really really encourage you to take it easy. Everything was going perfectly for me, and then ALL OF A SUDDEN, it all turned and changed unbelievably quickly. The doctor had checked me and everything was fine, and 12 hours later I was in trouble. There is no regret in the world like looking down at your tee-tiny little ones, covered in wires and on vents and struggling to survive and in incredible pain/discomfort, and knowing that if you had only done a little less, your baby might still be where they belonged - in your uterus instead of an incubator. Regret is an awful thing, and 5 years later, it still weighs heavily on me. Really heavily.
My kids have been in various therapies (physical, occupational, speech, etc.) for all of their lives. They have had feeding issues caused by the vents. They have immune system issues. Etc. If I had just managed to stay pregnant for one or two more weeks, their entire lives would be different. As would mine. I currently take them to the next city for various therapies 3 days a week. We don't have time or money for many normal kid activities because we are always going to, coming from, or in therapy. Our issues are not that bad at this point, and truly we are very blessed to be as well off as we are, but it has not been an easy road.
Please understand that I am not trying to discourage you, but instead to encourage you to really really take it easy. Be more strict with yourself than your doctor says. That way, no matter what happens, you will always know that you did everything in your power to maintain the pregnancy, and whether they come tomorrow or at 36 weeks, you will never have any regrets.
BGG born 4/25/05 at 31w1d
New baby girl born 9/19/06
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tntjetta Wed Mar-24-10 02:53 PM
Member since Dec 03rd 2008
38 posts
#460169, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
My husband has had the best quote since day one... "our house is a home, not a museum"!
Your living room is going to look like a day care...with that said, as long as its not dirty, you will be fine. I'm lucky if we can find a space on the table to eat w/all the crap piled up.
I'm lucky if I get one a shower in at all, but I won't go two days w/out one. I went for my first hair cut since the babies were born a year ago and I made sure it was still long enough to put in a ponytail which is my daily do. I've never gone out in my pj's, but I'm guilty about wearing my slippers out! lol
Congrats on making it 28 weeks! Focus on rest and keep your feet up! There will be plenty of time to keep your house clean when they are all grown up! Enjoy your time w/them and enjoy making the mess along with them!
mom to
bbg born 35.5 weeks 3/09
and b born 6/06
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julie123 Wed Mar-24-10 03:28 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1590 posts
#460175, "RE: Experienced triplet mothers, I want to pick your br..."
In response to Reply # 0
My grandmother (god bless her) gave me 6 months of twice a month maid service, and I had friends come over and they helped mostly with dishes, folding laundry and once in a while feeding and changing babies.
Julie
Single mom to
Tristan Declan 4lbs 3oz
Cassandra Madison 4lbs 7oz
Ryland Markus 4lbs 2oz
Born on 9/5/06 at 32 weeks 4 days
www.our3.blogspot.com
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