beansx5 Fri May-22-09 12:59 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
95 posts
#107620, "Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
Hi all,
Mike gave me this article to read about an HOM mom(twins + sextups) not too far from us. I just thought it may interest some of you who did fight for skilled nursing care. It also seems fitting due to the discussion of qualifying for SSI going on right now. Any comments? Do you think it's fair? Do you think she really needs a skilled nurse? It says she is an RN herself. I'm just not sure he understands her "inflexible" attitude the way that we do! I am really getting sick of the fact that caretaking(the old & the young) is so undervalued in our society. Like duh she does work!!! Does anyone think she should go to work as he suggests? I think it's laughable, but I want to know if I am alone in this feeling. It's rubbing me the wrong way, but my life experience the last 10 yrs. may be clouding my judgement.
Lou & the crew
Justin 20(geez almost 21), Luke Zach & Jake 5 and Tess 3
John Grogan | Bearing the cost of child-bearing
By John Grogan
Inquirer Columnist
When Kate Gosselin finally picks up the phone on the 10th ring, she sounds a little frazzled, and who can blame her?
From the background come the cries, shrieks and whoops of babies. Six of them, to be exact.
The Berks County woman once feared she was unable to conceive. Today, thanks to fertility drugs, she has more children than she and her husband, Jonathan, know what to do with. Those would be twin 4-year-old girls followed by the sextuplets, who turned 1 on May 10.
Gosselin's supercharged fertility is miraculous in its own right, a testament to the wonders - and pitfalls - of modern medicine. She has rocketed into the public spotlight, however, not for her baby-making prowess but for her insistence that she cannot mother alone.
The harried mom wants help - and she wants taxpayers to pick up the tab.
Because the fragile babies were born prematurely, Medicaid paid to provide a skilled home nurse 30 hours a week. But the babies are now robust, and Medicaid pulled the plug this month on paying for the nurse the Gosselins have come to rely on as "a second mommy."
Special circumstances
The couple, who live in Wyomissing, have appealed that ruling, and on Thursday the mother will argue that her special circumstances - eight little ones and a husband who is gone 12 hours a day for his state-government job 90 minutes away in Harrisburg - merit taxpayer help. The state continues to pay for nurse Angie Krall while the appeal is pending.
"We did not ask for sextuplets. We wanted one last baby," Gosselin tells me, quickly adding that she loves all six beyond words. "We took the risk and we lost."
As you might imagine, her request has not gone over well. Angry letters have popped up in newspapers across Pennsylvania. Gosselin, a registered nurse, knew the risks of taking fertility drugs. Even after delivering twins on the first go-round, she rolled the dice again. And now she wants the state to pay for her gamble?
"People are very harsh to us, and I understand that," she says. "But until you walk exactly in my shoes and know my day-to-day life, it is very difficult to imagine..."
I want to sympathize with her. Every parent knows how demanding and exhausting even one baby can be. But the more she talks, the more I find her to be inflexible.
I agree with her that she can't do it alone, but I ask why she needs an expensive skilled nurse instead of a basic child-care helper. Her only explanation is that she and the children have bonded with their nurse, and she'd hate to change now. She concedes the children no longer require specialized nursing care, and adds, "On Jon's income, we couldn't afford to pay someone even $6 an hour."
Paying for child care?
And that leads to another question. If money is so tight, why doesn't she return to work and enroll the children in day care? Nope. The family minivan cannot carry all eight children in one trip, and the couple can't afford a bigger van, she says. Besides, "I would be taking my paycheck and giving it to the day care." Welcome to the world of working parents.
She says family members live too far away or are too busy to help, and the stream of volunteers that came in the early months compromised the family's privacy. "There is no one," she says definitively. "I have racked my brain."
I have one other idea for her. The couple's house has about $100,000 of equity in it, she has estimated. Why don't they take out a loan to pay for the nurse themselves, just as parents do to pay for tuition or orthodontics? She doesn't want to do that, either.
She promises she wants Medicaid to pay for the nurse for only one more year, and by then the couple will be able to handle their brood on their own.
Obviously, society has a vested interest in making sure these eight children - all children - are properly nurtured. The question is whether taxpayers should be expected to take on a couple's burden. And if so, which couples, and for how long?
There are no easy answers, only an unsettling awareness that parenting, with all its joys and challenges, belongs ultimately to parents.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Contact John Grogan at jgrogan@phillynews.com. Read his recent work at http://go.philly.com/grogan.
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Replies to this topic
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, TiffaniRay, May 21st 2005, #1
I just want to offer my prayers to this family tha, deirdre, May 21st 2005, #2
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, Coutilish, May 21st 2005, #3
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, Colette, May 21st 2005, #4
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, LisaM817, May 21st 2005, #6
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, TARAinFL, May 21st 2005, #5
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, LotsofBabies4me, May 21st 2005, #7
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, franjipani, May 21st 2005, #8
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, 6_olive_shoots, May 21st 2005, #9
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, Karens5girls, May 21st 2005, #10
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, lorilou, May 21st 2005, #11
RE: Found another Article/Interview, Colette, May 21st 2005, #12
RE: Found another Article/Interview, 6_olive_shoots, May 21st 2005, #13
RE: Found another Article/Interview, Colette, May 21st 2005, #14
RE: Found another Article/Interview, ntsmith, May 22nd 2005, #27
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, 3D Montana Mama, May 21st 2005, #15
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, TiffaniRay, May 21st 2005, #16
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, LisaM817, May 21st 2005, #18
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, Daddyof8, May 21st 2005, #19
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, PAML, May 21st 2005, #17
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, bgg trio, May 21st 2005, #20
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, luvourtriplets, May 21st 2005, #21
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, beansx5, May 22nd 2005, #22
WHY IS THIS POST STILL HERE??, tripplefun, May 22nd 2005, #24
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, momoftreasures, May 22nd 2005, #25
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, casanndra, May 22nd 2005, #26
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, Karens5girls, May 22nd 2005, #28
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, sweetie, May 23rd 2005, #29
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, sweetie, May 23rd 2005, #30
RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?, beansx5, May 22nd 2005, #23
TiffaniRay Sat May-21-05 06:12 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
4092 posts
#107621, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 0
They frequent this board a lot. I think they are an awesome family and if I lived closer I'd be helping out as well, yes, even though I have triplets.
Tiffani & Ray(NJ)
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deirdre Sat May-21-05 06:39 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
104 posts
#107623, "I just want to offer my prayers to this family tha"
In response to Reply # 0
their nurse and win the appeal. This article is incredibly negative and this family does not deserve the public scrutiny that they are receiving.
The comment about just return to work and pay for child care just proves how ingnorant the author is. I have a good job and paying for child care for 3 was out of the question, let alone 8.
I will refrain from making any other comments, too loaded of an question for me }>
Deirdre
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Coutilish Sat May-21-05 07:09 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
169 posts
#107624, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 0
I think she should make some phonecalls to the local daycare centers and get quotes on....
1. COST of putting 8 children in daycare!
2. WHEN will there be 8 available spots AT THE SAME TIME for her children!
THEN....she should take those figures...in writing from the centers and add along her pre baby check stubs and have the people that are cutting her off check those numbers and see what they can figure out! I'm pretty sure that SHE would OWE the daycare MORE than she could make! And, then if even ONE gets sick, she will have to take the day off of work to keep him/her home. The likely hood of one being sick within the first year of being exposed to a daycare setting is very high! LOST WAGES for having to take the day off of work! Most daycares STILL charge for absences, holiday's etc!
OH, and how about the fact that here in Michigan, the licensing states that children under the age of 2.5 should have a ratio of ONLY 4 children to 1 adult! She is OVER RATIO for state licensing here! I wonder what they have to say about that!
Yes, it really SUCKS when we, as parents, have to rely on others in order to properly raise our children BUT, as AMERICANS what ever happened to UNITED WE STAND!?
I'm sorry that we do not have extra income to give her but, is that really what this family is asking for??? NOT from what I gather. They NEED HELP! We all know how demanding schedules are with 3....now, double that and add 2. WOW....I am in AWE of this family and wish that my family was closer so that I could help out with those babies! I also feel her pain about volunteers. Everyone thought it was perfectly alright to ring our doorbell and walk on in when my kids were babies then, when they were toddlers, the fun was over! I really don't get how people think. They truely have no clue about raising multiples. It is absolutely NOT the same as raising 3 children of different ages! More really needs to be written about the daily lives of HOM families so that the reality is seen through the "glamour"! I bet people in general think this family is getting everything FREE because of the hype of the McCoughy's (sp?) and even the Dillys! All of the spotlight at birthday's etc...but, none of the day to day stresses are even touched upon!
And, let's go back to consistancy...which is what she is really talking about by wanting to keep the nurse that she has had for one year of those babies lives! Their entire FIRST YEAR...where they established TRUST, SECURITY and their SENSE OF BEING! Now, some burocracy, the ones who make the rules, wants to pull the plug on the nurse! Yet, go into most daycares and they insist on having consistant care which translates to the same teacher in the same room every day! HMMM....curious how the rules change when it is convenient for government and ends up costing the individual!
GRRR...don't get me started on what is best for MY CHILDREN! That million man march has nothing on us HOM MOMS!!!
Best of luck to you Daddyof8. Our prayers are with your family!
Christine
Mommy to...
Alexis George Sydney
October 17, 1999
Promote your business!
Show your school spirit!
Personalize that special gift!
PHAT THREADS EMBROIDERY, LLC
PhatThreadsEmb@yahoo.com
www.phatthreadsembroidery.com
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Colette Sat May-21-05 07:57 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
470 posts
#107625, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 3
If I read that article without knowing any better I would think what a selfish B*&ch she is. BUT before you all jump on me that is NOT how I feel but that is probably how others without HOM think and that is how we get such negativity. I am curious how much out of context that interview got cause it is so negative and so one sided that I am just so pissed off. Let me guess the interviewer feels that she chose to take that chance it so its her problem. To me he is just an idiot without a clue, how do you put all those kids in daycare, what daycare would even take all of them and then like she said how do you get all of them their... Is he kidding, my SIL only has 2 boys and both are in daycare and basically her entire pay check goes to pay for that, so can you imagine how much would it cost for 8 children..... What an ingnorant jerk who just added more negativity to such an important issue..... Daddyof8 you are in my prayers.....
Colette
AJ 8/22/00
Dominick, Joseph & Rocco 6/23/04
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LisaM817 Sat May-21-05 08:17 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1725 posts
#107626, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 4
Aa couple of days ago I was reading a thread on an infertility site about this. Most of the opinions readers shared were exactly along the lines of how you opened your post.
Lisa
Mom to Aidan, Christian, and Rachel (10.03.01 @ 36wks)
Lisa
Mom to Aidan, Christian, and Rachel (10.03.01 @ 36wks)
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TARAinFL Sat May-21-05 07:58 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
785 posts
#107627, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 0
Reading this article has my blood boiling. I didn't read any other responses, but I would have a hard time myself being treated so poorly in the newspaper. How dare they give suggestions to this family as to how to handle their situation. Nobody knows what they will do until it happens to them. I think they have every right to appeal this decision. That is the way the legal system works. I wish them all the best.
Tara
Mom to BBG born at 33wks on 4/3/03
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LotsofBabies4me Sat May-21-05 08:29 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
503 posts
#107628, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 0
This article is sad but this just shows again how messed up our world is. They don't see children as a blessing and they constantly demand that they need put away. It's so unfortunate that people think such ways.
Meredith
Baby Nurse and Consultant for Triplets and more! AND one of eleven children!
www.babiease.com
Meredith
Baby Nurse and Consultant for Triplets and more!
www.babiease.com
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franjipani Sat May-21-05 09:41 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2217 posts
#107629, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 0
what a negative op-ed. this guy is a columnist and obviously paid to have a dramatic opinion, which he does. he just doesn't understand.
from everything i have read about this couple and their family, they are lovely. through the seventh degree of separation someone told my mother about how they know this family. they are receiving a LOT of negative press right now, which is so unfortunate because so many aspects are being overlooked. another poster made some great suggestions that i hope the mother can use in her appeal.
i imagine that the quote about "we took the risk and we lost." was incomplete, or inaccurate. that got my eyebrows raised, because it doesn't sound like anything that mother would say.
on their website the couple has a donations link. i would imagine that if they lose the appeal, private donations will allow them to independently hire the nurse.
enough from me!
tess
mummy to sebastian ('revered one) 3 yrs
jasper (precious stone), sela (pause and reflect) and carys (beloved) on 23 feb 2004, 26wks 2 d
tess
mummy to 7yr old ds & the triumverate born 2004
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6_olive_shoots Sat May-21-05 10:34 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
598 posts
#107630, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 0
The article is very negative and the family does not deserve to be spoken of in that way. However - I do NOT think the state needs to be paying for a nurse or any other helper. I do realize they need help but I do not think it is that hard to find. They should appeal to churches or something like that - those are the people that helped me for FREE. Cities and states have volunteer organizations where she could make her needs known and they would arrange help. And if the state is going to pay for someone then it should be a helper not a nurse if it is not required!
While I do realize they need help it is always the attitude that someone DESERVES it that gets to me. I tried never to have that attitude. My kids were MY kids and it was MY job to take care of them by any means possible (the fact that they have that equity makes it even worse to me - suggesting that they are NOT willing to do what it takes but just want the state to foot the bill??). Now I do not know for a fact that these parents have that entitlement mentality because I have not heard their side of the story -- but to say yes they know the kids do not need a nurse but they want to keep that SAME nurse (who surely costs more than a mother's helper) just because the kids like her, and not only that they want the STATE to keep paying for it, even though they have equity they can tap into ---- is a little nervy in my opinion.
And no I do not think she should go to work. Even putting aside my well known opinion of daycare, I would think there is no way she could make enough money to pay for it!
I can see that this is the minority opinion but you did ask for comments.
Kari S.
Mom to BBB 18, 15, 11
BBG 9/25/01
My story of nursing triplets http://triplestuff.blogspot.com/2008/01/yes-i-nursed-my-triplets.html
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Karens5girls Sat May-21-05 01:49 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
779 posts
#107631, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 9
Ever since I read this, it has been on my mind. I do agree that the article is slanted. It is basically saything "well THEY had the babies THEY should deal with their situation". So, here's my take.
I canNOT imagine their life. I have 5, in 3 separate births and it is crazy here. My guess is that they are getting help through WIC and or food stamps...right or wrong? So that would mean the state IS helping them. If not, disregard.
As to the nurse that has helped them, that is where I don't agree. If the children are strong and the state would rather fill the spot with a caregiver, than I think they should be greatful. If this nurse they have bonded with is so close, than she can volunteer to come in at night or on the weekends like a relative would.
I know she is in a really tough situation. I am a VERY independent, self-regulated person. It was hard for me to open my house to COMPLETE strangers at our church, but I had to swallow any pride and have them come into my house and have everyone get used to life as we knew it. The nice thing is if you don't like a person that is volunteering, they don't need to come back. It is on your time and your schedule and your rules.
I am so very sorry about the situation, but I think there needs to be some open minds. I am not being crass or anything at all. I am hoping my words are taken as sympathetic and to give them help. I can only wish the best for them. They are wonderful and strong people to get to this point.
This may be simplistic, but if someone were to offer you a van, but you didn't like the color, make or model....would you return it? My guess is no. So, if the state will pay for a caregiver (unsure if they are offering that) than I would take it! See if this RN friend can volunteer on days she isn't working.
I truly wish you the best. I hope things work out. I know with all of the letters you have to have grown some tough skin. They don't know you and I don't either, but I do hope things work out.
I don't expect you to do it on your own, but I guess I would try to be a little more flexible with the help that is being offered or is there from the church.
Karen
Mom to 5 Beauties
Allison,8,Grace,5
Margaret, Melissa, Michelle (6/20/02--34weeks 1day)
Showing other MOMS how to stay home and earn extra income!
www.ImagineBALANCE.com/TakeChargeNow
Karen
Mom to 5 Beauties
Allison,10,Grace,7
Margaret, Melissa, Michelle (6/20/02--34weeks 1day)
Showing other MOMS how to stay home, BE HEALTHIER and earn extra income!
www.ImagineBALANCE.com/TakeChargeNow
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lorilou Sat May-21-05 04:29 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
477 posts
#107632, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 0
I'm going to put on my "flame suit" now...
First let me saw that I do not agree with the way this article is written BUT I do agree with the author that they do NOT need state paid nursing help.
They have 6 healthy one year olds -- they do not need a RN period. Here in Michigan there are babies left in the NICU long after they could go home because there is a shortage of nursing care (especially Medicaid paid nurses). Should 6 healthy babies take a nurse that someone else might need?
There is a set of sixtuplets here in Michigan that were born at 24 to 26 weeks (3 different birthdays). They do not have any nursing care and personally I think they should have it -- they have one still on oxygen and a couple with feeding tubes. The parents do it on their own with help from volunteers.
I think it's time to turn to the community and look for volunteers. I'm sure there are lots of organizations who would be happy to help out.
JMO -
Lori --
Mom to Zac (9/91) and triplets Noah, Karissa & Jazmine (5/98 at 27 weeks)
Lori --
Mom to Zac (9/91) and triplets Noah, Karissa & Jazmine (5/98 at 27 weeks)
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Colette Sat May-21-05 04:46 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
470 posts
#107633, "RE: Found another Article/Interview"
In response to Reply # 11
I don't know about any of you but the first sentence alone is enough to make me want to knock his teeth in.
Colette
By Dimitri Vassilaros
TRIBUNE-REVIEW
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Kate and Jonathan Gosselin want you to pretend that their sextuplets are disabled.
If you play along, they can keep the free nurse provided by Medicaid to help raise the six 1-year-olds and the Gosselins' 4-year-old twin daughters in their Berks County home. Mom and Dad will plead their case at a hearing on Thursday.
Does it really take a commonwealth to raise a child? Or eight?
Surely it is a daunting task for Kate even without Jonathan's 90-minute commute to his new job in the Governor's Office in Harrisburg.
"Every morning I ask the Lord for the strength to try to remain calm," Kate said.
As a registered nurse, however, she knew the risks of fertility drugs. Gosselin did not regret the decision after she was told about her six babies. Nor for opposing the "selective reduction" that sometimes is performed in multi-fetal pregnancies to lessen potential risk to the mother and the surviving fetuses.
But if Kate had had a crystal ball, would she have taken the fertility drugs?
"If I could have looked into the future, I would not have done it," she admitted.
The two parents have more kids than they can handle. Volunteers have helped, some, but nowhere near enough, she said. The taxpayers are helping by providing health coverage, but the Gosselins want much more.
They qualify for state health insurance -- barely. Jonathan makes about $50 per month below the maximum annual household income, said Kate. She does not have an outside job.
For a family of 10, the max is $38,910, according to the Department of Public Welfare.
But the need for special services such as a nurse is not based on income. The state's first question was whether the Gosselin children qualify medically. "The answer is 'no,' so you do not get it," Kate said.
The little ones' good health was her bad luck. Go figure.
"I am urging them to see us as a rare situation, which we are," she said. "And I am begging them to make a special exception. They are six individuals. One mom cannot take care of them.
"I might be able to meet their physical needs, but not the emotional needs. It is very difficult. I'm talking about time to talk about feelings, read books and the absolute bare necessities to get done. I cannot do it five days a week."
The county assessed the Gosselins' property at $142,800 in 1993. Kate thinks the four-bedroom, 2,100 square foot home has a market value of $250,000. They have two vehicles, but no garage, she added.
Why not take advantage of the approximate $100,000 in home equity Kate says they have in it? Why not sell it and buy a bigger one (she would like about 3,500 square feet) in a less affluent neighborhood?
They had been considering a move, but it has not been a high priority because of eight good reasons, she said.
However, keeping the free nurse is a priority.
"I understand that there is no medical necessity," Kate said. "But I hope they see my need. There is nothing set up for someone in our situation. I hope I can hang on to the person that I have."
The Gosselins called the day after my telephone interview with Kate. They asked to preview this column before publication. My editor declined their request. Kate then said she wanted to retract everything -- even though she admitted all of it was true.
"People are out to make us look bad," she said.
Dimitri Vassilaros can be reached at dvassilaros@tribweb.com or (412)
380-5637.
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6_olive_shoots Sat May-21-05 05:52 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
598 posts
#107634, "RE: Found another Article/Interview"
In response to Reply # 12
>"I might be able to meet their physical needs, but not the
>emotional needs. It is very difficult. I'm talking about
>time to talk about feelings, read books and the absolute
>bare necessities to get done. I cannot do it five days a
>week."
>
I agree the first statement sounds bad but it also sounds like it is true. The part I quoted above gets me. The babies are ONE. They are not talking about their feelings etc. yet. The twins probably aren't either. So what I hear her saying here is she wants that nurse till the kids are grown up??
There are plenty of people woth 8 or more kids that FIND WAYS to meet their kids' emotional needs. Yes having them all one age is different - but it is STILL 8 kids with emotional needs. Put your mind to it and figure it out, do not expect the taxpayers to foot the bill.
Sorry folks, they are your kids, it is your responsibility. It is nice if you can get help but you do not DESERVE it. You have some means available to you but you are refusing to use them. I hope the hearing does not go their way this week. And I think it is the entitlement attitude that makes me feel that way the most. What are you supposed to DO?? You are supposed to parent your kids as best you can, and be GRATEFUL for what you have rather than whining for more....
As for people being out to make them look bad, IMO they are doing a good job of that themselves and do not need any help.
Kari S.
Mom to BBB 18, 15, 11
BBG 9/25/01
My story of nursing triplets http://triplestuff.blogspot.com/2008/01/yes-i-nursed-my-triplets.html
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Colette Sat May-21-05 06:08 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
470 posts
#107635, "RE: Found another Article/Interview"
In response to Reply # 13
I just realized something wouldn't they be entitled to Early Intervention. They could get some services which would help with the whole needs issues. IMHO
Colette
AJ 8/22/00
Dominick, Joseph & Rocco 6/23/04
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ntsmith Sun May-22-05 03:44 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
127 posts
#107636, "RE: Found another Article/Interview"
In response to Reply # 13
Sun May-22-05 03:46 PM
What would you have done if you had six and not 3 at one time??? You don't, know because you didn't!! We should judge unless we know their story you don't know what is being held back in the newspapers. We have a right to have a opinion just make sure you know that what is said is really being said by them. I will leave the judging to someone much higher. After all he thought they where good enough to get all 6 of them at one time they must be doing something good. JMO
Traci,
mom to
Chelsea 4/29/97
Gracie, Trevor, Crystal @37 4/23/01
Brandon 7/8/04
Allyson 2/2/07
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3D Montana Mama Sat May-21-05 06:12 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
691 posts
#107637, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 0
Sat May-21-05 06:43 PM
Dear Lou,
I have worked for over ten years in an obstetric practice providing care to uninsured pregnant women and their families. The majority of our patients are on Medicaid or are self-pay. Medicaid and other state-funded programs provide critical resources to our families in their time of serious need.
Over the years, health care costs have sky-rocketed, and there are fewer and fewer dollars allocated for Medicaid or other state-funded care. As a result, many of the basic health care needs of our patients could no longer be met. In addition, people who normally would qualify for Medicaid no longer did due to lack of funding.
This was very hard to watch as a provider. It meant that my patients who had sons were not able to have them circumcised if they chose. It meant my patients with severe dental disease could not get basic dental care such as cleanings. The only dental care provided was tooth extraction, not maintenance. Worst of all, psychological care for my patients with psychological/social needs was very limited. There were no funds for drug/alcohol treatment or for ensuring good parenting skills, even for those in desperate need of them.
It is a simple issue of too many services needed by too many people and too little funds available to meet everyone's needs. One answer is to increase taxes, an unpopular and controversial choice. We are left with difficult decisions that pull funds from one family to try to provide funds for yet another needy family. Appropriate allocation of the limited funds is critical to ensure that the truly needy people are not left without care and assistance.
I have no idea who should get what or what the right answer is, but I wanted to offer a different perspective.
MontanaMama
DS-7/99
BBB born 8/04 at 31 4/7 weeks
Cynthia
DS-7/99
BBB born 8/04 at 31 4/7 weeks
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TiffaniRay Sat May-21-05 06:44 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
4092 posts
#107638, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 15
I'm not taking sides but if you do a search of these articles, it's all how it is written. Check out this one...
Gosselin Sextuplets Turn One
Mother Faces Loss Of Medicaid-Funded Nurse
May 8, 2005 3:18 pm US/Eastern
WYOMISSING, PA (AP) A Berks County woman with year-old sextuplets and 4-year-old twins will appeal for continued nursing help from Medicaid beyond a one-year cutoff.
Kate Gosselin, whose husband has a 90-minute commute to a state job in Harrisburg, said she cannot safely manage eight small children.
The sextuplets—only the second set born in Pennsylvania and among fewer than 30 sets born worldwide—arrived 8 weeks premature but are thriving as they near their first birthday Tuesday.
“I will shout from the highest mountain that these are my children and I love them and I need help,” Kate Gosselin said.
While the Gosselins appreciate the volunteers who streamed through their home in the early months, the children’s routines improved with the arrival of Angie Krall, a licensed practical nurse who spends 30 hours a week with the family. Medicaid provides the temporary nursing support for premature babies, Gosselin said.
“She’s fine-tuned and I trust her,” Kate Gosselin said of the nurse, Angie Krall. “She’s as good as a parent in this home.”
The family cannot afford to pay Krall on their own, she said. Jonathan Gosselin, an information technology specialist who now works in the Governor’s Office, was unemployed for much of last year.
Kate Gosselin said she feels society has a responsibility to help with the children, since modern medicine promotes the use of fertility drugs, which can lead to multiple births.
She has talked by telephone with Bobbi McCaughey, the Carlisle, Iowa, woman who delivered the world’s only set of surviving septuplets in November 1997. McCaughey named the loss of privacy and the oversight of volunteers as among her biggest difficulties, Kate Gosselin said.
On the bright side, the Gosselin babies seem to have skirted the health problems that can plague premature babies and multiples. Each now weighs between 18 and 22 pounds.
“I look at six healthy babies and I feel a lot better, because it could be a lot, lot worse,” Jonathan Gosselin said.
Tiffani & Ray(NJ)
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LisaM817 Sat May-21-05 07:32 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1725 posts
#107639, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 16
Sat May-21-05 07:34 PM
I think what has caused the angst and public dissent is the following sentence from this particular article:
"Kate Gosselin said she feels society has a responsibility to help with the children, since modern medicine promotes the use of fertility drugs, which can lead to multiple births."
Personally, I don't think society has any responsibility for my children. They are the responsibility of my family and not the government. We know the risks and we take the risks when seeking medical intervention to have children. As a nurse, Ms. Gosselin was surely educated in moving forward with an IUI which involved multiple follicles. If the children had medical issues then I can see continuing the care of a nurse. However, I can't rationalize maintaining a nurse if the children are healthy.
I wish the family nothing but the very best, but it seems the press is not being kind to them and their statements could be misconstrued. For me, I find it offensive when people project that society owes them something. Maybe it is because I am from Texas and we have a "bootstraps" mentality!!!
Lisa
Mom to Aidan, Christian, and Rachel (10.03.01 @ 36wks)
Lisa
Mom to Aidan, Christian, and Rachel (10.03.01 @ 36wks)
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Daddyof8 Sat May-21-05 07:47 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
39 posts
#107640, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 18
I have to defend my family. I'm not going to sit here and read anymore blogs. This whole situation is out of control. DON'T EVER GET INVOLVED IN THE MEDIA!!!!!!!!!! Number one mistake. 95% of what you have been reading is all taken out of context and has all been retracted by the original media source. They sent their apologies. Great!!! SORRY DAMAGE IS ALREADY DONE!!!! Where do you get off judging my wife and family by what you read in the tabloids. That is just plain ignorant. The truth is "I LOVE MY FAMILY AND I WILL DO EVERYTHING I CAN FOR THEM!" But we are done with the media and I think this is my last post on Triplet Connection. You won't understand our lives and I don't expect you to. I came to this site for support thinking it would be nice to share our blessings with people that understand. Now everytime I turn around more and more rumors are spreading. My wife and I are under enough stress. I don't know what else to say, So goodbye and thank you for listening in the past.
Sincerly,
Jonathan Gosselin
Daddyof8
TWIN GIRLS 10/08/2000
SEXTUPLETS BBB GGG 05/10/2004
www.sixgosselins.com
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PAML Sat May-21-05 07:27 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2403 posts
#107641, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 0
I'm not sure where to go with this...I feel they obviously need help, but should it be at the cost of taxpayer money? If I lived closer I would definitely help, and I think it would be a good idea to get some sort of organization involved, there must be somebody in the community who could put in a couple hours a week to help, multiply that times the number of people able to help and there's your 30 hours.
Do any of the babies have current medical conditions that require medical assistance? I've seen their picture (dollbabies!) and it doesn't appear so, but I may be wrong.
It's hard to delineate what is considered necessary and what is not. As far as people being given assistance, there's also opportunities out there for people to obtain health insurance and they chose not to. Only people that have tragically lost the ability to work, or have been widowed with children and can't work, etc should be give assistance.
Anyway, I'm going off on a tangent here. I can't say for sure if what this family is requesting is necessary or not, I don't even know both sides of the story, but I can see where some people are coming from when they disagree.
JMO.
PAM
ggg @ 31+ weeks
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bgg trio Sat May-21-05 08:35 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
593 posts
#107642, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 0
There is no doubt in my mind that Kate is going through an extremely difficult and stressful time trying to raise her 8 children. I do not doubt that she really needs help. But the question is whether she is entitled to having government paid skilled nursing care when there is no medical necessity. In an ideal world, she would be. But in reality, there is just not enough money to go around. If Medicaid continues to pay for her nurse, does that set a precedent that the next set of sextuplets (or similar situations) must also be provided with the same benefit? Where do we make the cutoff? I hope I do not sound unsympathetic because I am. I know that the press can you look real good or real bad and your words can be taken out of context. However I do think she could possiblity explore other options. She could ask family, friends, neighbors, churches for volunteer help as well as her local social service agencies such as Help Me Grow/Early Intervention. It might not be the same quality of help but sometimes you have to take what you can get. I personally would have refinanced the home if that's what it took. I'm glad she at least have free health coverage, WIC, and that all her babies are thriving (most important in my opinion).
Yes, it would be better for the family if her babies can keep their nurse but who should pay for it and for how long?
Watching the Dilley sextuplets on TV, I am amazed at how they made it look so managable. I do remember they said the donations slowed down after a couple of years and that although they had a house custom built for them at cost, they had to eventually sell it and move to a smaller house and less affluent neighborhood to make ends meet. I remember they said the mother Becky even sold her wedding ring to pay for things.
BTW, was it the Gosselins or another sextuplets family that got free college education for all 6 donated to them? (Just curious).
I hope people in her community would read her story and offer their time. Ironically, if there was any suggestion of neglect, the gov't would probably step in and offer help. I do think that if she continues to get negative press, people are more likely to be resentful and make generalizations about HOM families.
Div
bgg@34w2d
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luvourtriplets Sat May-21-05 08:51 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
46 posts
#107643, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 0
People can be so cruel and hard-hearted. I only had triplets and no older kids, and I struggled even with help. Why are people so mean? I think that the very few people who get HOMs from fertility treatments SHOULD get help - it's not like it's so common even with fertility treatments, and if it happens to someone that's the luck of the draw, everyone should help those few who need it. The author quoted people as saying she's a nurse and should have known the risks - well, sextuplets are rare from any treatment, and if someone does get them then yes, I think society should help.
I have found that NOBODY understands what we go through and how hard it is to raise HOMs. Sometimes, after hearing a rude ignorant comment from yet another know-it-all, I find myself "wishing" that the person should have triplets themselves and then let's see if they still know everything. My husband and I both work (him full time, me part time) and we have NO PROBLEM having our tax money go to help people like her who REALLY NEED THE HELP, and she won't need it for very long, so what's the difference? It's not like she's sitting around watching TV and doing drugs.
The woman has eight children under five years old, why can't people stop judging and start helping?
Cheers,
loveourtriplets
Cheers,
loveourtriplets
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beansx5 Sun May-22-05 06:21 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
95 posts
#107644, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 21
Sun May-22-05 06:53 AM
Hey Love,
Yep, folks sure can be hard hearted as you said especially when it doesn't involve them personally. The thing that really irks me- she is asking for help!!!!! I hope they get it. Also, like someone mentioned, that this nurse somehow finds it in herself to at least give of her time to the family in some way. I'm sure it couldn't be FT, but to have bonded w/ the family, it would be difficult for me to just let them go. I am sure she will somehow.
If somebody is asking for help, they usually need it IMO. It's like pulling teeth for me to ask most days. On another note, a family of quads right outside our city, did not ask for help. Both parents had college degrees & jobs. One of the quads starved to death & their 14 yo(i think she was) looked like a 7 yo due to malnutrition. All the neighbors said they never knew they were in the house or that there were quads "they were sooooo quiet!" THEY should have asked for help. I cried when I read that. Of course, that story didn't stay in the papers too long. Their kids were taken away, & I believe they are doing some time. If only they asked for help or were offered it!
To the family of Daddyof8, I am very sorry. I had no idea you posted here, but I thought this article was a topic of interest. I was just wondering what others felt about this knowing what we know of HOM caregiving. I am sorry if it caused you more stress.
It takes a strong person to know their limit.
Lou & the crew
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tripplefun Sun May-22-05 08:54 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
960 posts
#107647, "WHY IS THIS POST STILL HERE??"
In response to Reply # 0
I have seen completely normal posts with legit topics be pulled for stupid or inacurate reasons, but yet this ridiculous post is still here? Makes me wonder whats going on.
There is to be no negative posts about others here, this family is being attacked, get rid of this post. DROP IT!!
Regardless my opinion i feel this post should seriously not have gone this far. Yes, everyone has a difference of opinion, that is what makes the world go around, but this family has been attacked enough.
g-g-b 5
b 16
Sandy
mom to 4 kids
oldest is 18, and trio age 7
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momoftreasures Sun May-22-05 09:58 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1133 posts
#107648, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 0
I have not even read the replys but am so upset this post was put on the TC when the Gosslins post here for support. I am a triplet mom that has had very minimal help with my trio and has no family near. My Dh works extreme long hours and is gone weeks at a time so that makes me the SIngle parent. I am So frustrated that society jumps at multiple moms just because we ask for help. I myself have had a terrible time in our new community because I asked for help simple help like watching my kids on a 30 below day so i can go to the store for milk. We are moving because of our community back to our original community when the babies were born at least their they do not treat us like a circus act and they know that just because I have triplets that I am still Amy. It is the same for the Gosslins they are still the Gosslins. Their ways and personalities and dreams have not changed since they had their children.
My heart breaks for them at this time. I dont find her comments negative I just find them sad because she needs the help and she is crying out for people to understand she wants the best for her children and herself.
Well better get working my trio is sleeping
Amy Houle
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casanndra Sun May-22-05 12:47 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
182 posts
#107649, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 25
Perfectly fine people live off of disability all the time. People get cash paying jobs to keep their medicaid coverage and food stamps. People are living off of your tax money all over the country. People who are more than able to work. But take someone who truly needs it, but perhaps doesn't meet the requirements exactly, and people get upset and angry.
You should be complaining about the guy who gets his counselor to diagnose him as Bi-polar so that he can have disability. You should complain about the woman who can work a job, but instead is selling her food stamps and using her temporary assistance to buy her cigarettes, and beer every single month.
It is reasonable to place a one year limit on the nurse for ONE premature baby. Possibly two babies, but they DO have a unique situation, and they should qualify for the nurse. I would much rather my taxes help the Gosslin family than any of the thousands that abuse the system every single day.
Kelli
Morgan (11) & natural (by natural I mean concieved on top of a picnic table at a campground) BBG triplets Eric, Josh, and Hannah born @ 33w1d
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Karens5girls Sun May-22-05 08:06 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
779 posts
#107650, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 26
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! If Kate and Jonathan didn't think of this, I hope they read this and take your opinion!
I totally agree. And just think, if there wasn't a thread, there woulnd't have been this great idea!
Karen
Mom to 5 Beauties
Allison,8,Grace,5
Margaret, Melissa, Michelle (6/20/02--34weeks 1day)
Showing other MOMS how to stay home and earn extra income!
www.ImagineBALANCE.com/TakeChargeNow
Karen
Mom to 5 Beauties
Allison,10,Grace,7
Margaret, Melissa, Michelle (6/20/02--34weeks 1day)
Showing other MOMS how to stay home, BE HEALTHIER and earn extra income!
www.ImagineBALANCE.com/TakeChargeNow
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sweetie Mon May-23-05 05:27 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
621 posts
#107651, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 0
Personally, I find it appauling for this reporter to suggest he has any inkling that he knows whats best for this family! He acts like she (the mom) is some kind of spoiled little rich girl out for a free ride! In my eyes she is rich but only because she hit the lottery in babies!!!
I for one can think of worse things for my tax dollars to pay for, like for instance Viagra for sex offenders! Or giving prisoner's the Flu shot this past fall! (while my kids got left out! ) I could go on and on!
I believe that this family should keep the care they've had for atleast one more yr, they will still have a bit of shell shock when the babies hit toddlerhood, I can vouche that my trio made me wanna pull my hair out on days, so imagine three more added to the brood!
For the reporter to suggest she go to work and pay for daycare is proposterous! She could never make enough to pay for day care for all those babies, it would defeat the purpose (they would go in debt), not to mention expose them to tons of hazards from other children and care givers!
I would welcome my taxes going to pay for the care of these babies for another yr! This moms needs the help, I did it all on my own, but I had triplets and was able to make it through the day. Many times however I about fell apart! It was damn hard, getting through those first two yrs! I can only imagine (worst case scenerio) the mom having a nervous break down, and these kids ending up in the foster care system , we would be paying for all there care then anyways! Or worse have another mom hurt her children because she fell off the edge trying to meet everyones needs but her own, then everyone could say , Oh if we only new what she neded/Oh if only she had help, If Only!
Most states have regulations for day cares that the adult caregiver / child ratio be out weighed by the adult 1-4 (or something like that) I would argue that this family falls into this category as well! (We always joke that we have our own little play group.) But I dont find it funny that society/the media is assuming what they know is best for this family . Its obvious to me and should be to all you homs that it would be to demading for any of us to be in the same situation. Its just common sense that they need/get the help they are looking for! I cant count how many times Everyone has asked me "Oh did you get help?" , its just natural to assume I needed help with my trio. Then whay would it not be evedent to those in charge of this case to conclude that this mom needs help too?
I applaud the parents for fighting for whats best for their family! I applaud them for not killing their babies in utero!
And Im very sad to see once again that another family is leaving this board because they dont feel supported or welcome any longer! I for one was amazed by this family and enjoyed the posts and pictures from daddy of 8 ! I only hope they get the help they need and that they continue to get the love and support they need from those people who are truely important in their lives!
Good luck Gosselin Family!!! You do have supporter's here!
And again, shame on the reporter for this shotty story! Once again the media is a devil in disguise ! John Grogan is obviously just out to futher is own career by making this family look like the bad guy! Shame, shame , shame on you John!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rembember people :
"BELIEVE NONE OF WHAT YOU READ AND ONLY HALF OF WHAT YOU SEE"
Kim
Wife to Brian
Mommy to BBG @ 32.5 wks)
Kim
Wife to Brian
Mommy to BBG @ 32.5 wks)
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sweetie Mon May-23-05 11:59 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
621 posts
#107652, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 0
Kim
Wife to Brian
Mommy to BBG @ 32.5 wks)
Kim
Wife to Brian
Mommy to BBG @ 32.5 wks)
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beansx5 Sun May-22-05 07:04 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
95 posts
#107646, "RE: Thought this was interesting! any comments?"
In response to Reply # 31
Hi Ma,
As I said above, I had NO idea he posted here as I haven't myself in a while...I would have thought twice had I known they were members here, but I still may have posted it for support to them or ideas on ways to fight it. Go Christine!!! That being said, I really don't see this as a media free zone. Don't we always post articles of interest relating to HOM or diaper sales...unless the rules have changed lately, I've read many articles on this forum.
I agree with you the middle class is shrinking & fast.
take care,
Lou & the crew
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