Dec 12 2006 MOT older son abused at school

momoftreasures Tue Dec-12-06 06:04 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1133 posts

#239457, "private school frustrations we are DONE....."


From my blog... sorry I did not want to retype it...
Well we are making the decision to pull the kids OUT of private school. This has been a terrible ordeal but the last straw has been drawn. Nate had two white slips on Friday when lenny picked him up from school. Yes we were upset with him but they were for things I had a hard time understanding I even called one of the parents to assure the one slip was valid. The mom of the other child said she had no idea anything had happened. This mom is significant I will fill you in later. Anyway, when Lenny picked up Nate Nate proceeded to ask his teacher if he had to wear the ORange vest on Monday.... UGH Lenny came home and asked me What orange vest is he talking about.. I had no idea... ANyway we asked Nate about his orange vest and found out it is like the naughty vest.. UGH the naughty vest WHAT... I guess they make you wear this vest so everyone is aware that you are BAD.. UGH ok sounds a little harsh for a first grader UGH.. I understand the reasons for disipline but I do not TOLERATE humilation with my children. WEll today Nate went to school. When I picked him up he had this HUGE HUGE bruise above his right eye,,, IT WAS HUGE.. I guess he had fallen at recess on the playground and hit his head HARD on the bike rack.. I guess the supervior sent him into the school gave him a ice pack and FORGOT about him. Ya no phone call to mommy, and no note home to me either. So here at 3 comes my son with a HUGE SHINER... Just what every mom wants to be greeted with after school.. Ya so we start driving home and Nate informs me that he had to wear the ORange vest. at lunch and that he had to sit at a table all by his self and that kids were teasing him UGH I WAS at this point slightly angry esp since the teacher had informed LEnny that they do not wear orange vests... UGH anyway then we get farther into the conversation and I am told that my son was then punished to clean the WHOLE school hallway..... Ya he had to sweep, pick up rocks and put everyone eles belongings away, and then I find out which made my steam roll that his teacher proceeded to have him WIPE every BLACK mark off the tile.. This was it I lost it.. and here is my seven year old son thinking this is appropraite.. NOT TO THIS MOMMA BEAR.. I understand making kids responsible for actions but this is in my book is a form of humiliation and ABUSE.. then you send him out on the playground he falls gets a severe bruise and knot and I am NOT contacted.. WEll of course not he might of told me he had worn the orange vest... UGH Sorry I am still very raw on the whole issue. As many of you are aware this is not our first problem this year with his school. Last year his school was awesome.. WEll not anymore..... He is struggling on a personal level with confidence, friends, and teachers.. This is JUST NOT MY NATE.. I feel I have tolerated it well enough. The other mom I told you I would fill you in well here is the story. I found out tonight from nate that her son has been having to wear the orange vest everyday... UGH everyday and that his punishment for being bad in school is that he has to clean the WHOLE LUNCH room.. he has been banned from recess, So I called his mom tonight to see if she was aware or if she was unaware as I was about the discipline actions within Nates class. WEll anyway, she is aware.. I guess for the past 7 weeks the little guy has gotten white slips, and has been getting phone calls home at least once a week.. I also found out the school has banned him from PE, Music, Library and Recess. WHAT how do they expect his behavior to improve.. I was so sad as I got the interpretation from her that the school has convienced her that he is just doomed and terrible. They actually convienced her that this was OK punishment... I am sorry I dont think humiliating a child in front of a school to scrap food off a floor gym is appropriate......
I also found out today that in order for them to receive Title one funding they ahve to have so many children enrolled in a program.. YA you got it my straight A student is NOT as Behind as they have claimed YEP.. I was a number filler so they could get government money.. ALL I CAN SAY IS BASTARDS.. they have been taking my perfect 1st grader out of class telling me he is having issues when he is NOT.. UGH..Making him feel as if he is STUPID... taking him out of valuable class time.... segragating him.. UGH You can only imagine what this momma bear was feeling....

There are so many other things... My BLOG would stop working if I keep writing... Thank god it is the last day of the semester GUESS in my book GOD SAW the issue and waited for the PERFECT moment to open my eyes a little farthur.. I loved the idea of sending my son to a private school. But this school is NOT helping him at ALL... In the past few months they have discouraged him, insulted me, and taken away his confidence. he thinks he is BAD.. when honestly his teacher is....... I have had my fair share of teachers and SHE IS NOT GOOD IN MY OPIONION.. UGH.....Half the time she does not return my phonecalls or letters... When she does she just blames me for all of Nates issues. She tells me that he has all of these learning issues but he has not gotten less then 100 percent on ONE TEST ALL YEAR....UGH......Hello I have to help him minimally at home.....

Oh and I am pulling the trio out of the preschool program. They have been potty trained for over 2 years however, Jeremiah in the past few weeks has been having severe accidents of number 2 at school. YA he has been pooping his pants. At first I thought it was a timing issues and his teacher is very anal about not helping the kids go potty. ANOTHER LONG STORY......... Well Last thursday when i went to pick them up Jeremiah would not come out to the playground. When I saw his teacher in front of all the other parents she started telling me what a BAD BAD boy he had been and how he was currently in the building because he REFUSED to come outside.. Ok to me that seemed strang... this is so NOT my Jeremiah.. She told me he was down stairs with the aid OK... SO I went to get him.. SO I walk down the hallway and hear this women belittling him... Ya she was saying such awful things for him to get outside. here was my Big boy up against the wall sitting in a fetal position.. QUIET as ever.... I was so scared...and I am an ADULT..... I mean anyone who has had the joy of meeting Jeremiah knows that he is my carbon copy.. when it comes to being social ect.. Anyway, I got down in front of him and knew something was VERY VERY WRONG.... He would not make eye contact, he would talk, he had completly shut out everything.. I tried to move h im and it was like ice. MY instant mommy reaction was to ask him what had happened, I asked him if he had an owwee.. Instantly the aid let out a sign and I understood completly that she had taken my question wrongly.. This set off MOMMY WARNING FLAGS...... I simply asked him the question because I thought he was sick..... Anyway, I finally had him in my arms and off we went.. YEs to met the teacher once again so she could fill me with GARBAGE about my kids. Everyday I drop them off she says NOTHING NICE ABOUT THEM it i s always somehting wrong... She alaborates on them being triplets, having accidents, speech delays, and she makes sure to emphasize the fact that when I don't have school that I have a great day as she is STUCK with my children....What is so funny as the kids attend two preschools and at the other school I hear only praise about them and their teacher loves them...yes some days they are a challenge but arn't ALL three year olds. Well I look forward to these days off but I will never take time for myself at the expense of any of my children.. They are my world, and for all people that do not cherish them they are not worthy of having a part in there lives......

So tomorrow the Houles will turn a HUGE page in our history book.. NO MORE PRIVATE SCHOOL. I am worried as I know alot of my family was encouraged my decision to put them in private school.. But it is NOT helping them... I want my kids to be SMART, STRONG, BRILLIANT, and RESPECTFUL. I feel if you want children to be obidient and respectful you have to give them the same....... It will be a huge adjustment for Nate but that is why I am just pulling him. I talked to my sister today and she was right.. If I allow him to go back at this point it will make me look wishy washy...... I am so terrified that tomorrow he will sneeze funny at lunch and be scrubing toilets.

Anyway, I will keep you posted I am very nervous but feel this is our best option...

Amy

When you're down to nothing, God is always up to something....

Mom to four awesome kids.

Nathaniel My pride and JOY
11-25-99
My awesome blessings
Jeremiah My blue eyed baby
Hannah My sweet little princess
Gabriel My true angel from heaven
5-



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Replies to this topic

RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....., jonesy04, Dec 12th 2006, #1
RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....., tripletmomplus9, Dec 12th 2006, #2
RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....., mw, Dec 12th 2006, #3
RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....., DebM, Dec 12th 2006, #4
RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....., Karens5girls, Dec 12th 2006, #5
RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....., sushannah, Dec 12th 2006, #6
RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....., ash, Dec 12th 2006, #7
RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....., kathysyd, Dec 12th 2006, #10
RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....., bbb2000, Dec 13th 2006, #11



jonesy04 Tue Dec-12-06 06:30 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1574 posts

#239469, "RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....."
In response to Reply # 0


I am so sorry for all that you and your precious little ones have gone through. The schools actions are very inappropriate and I believe you are totally doing the right thing by pulling them out!! I think you should take your concerns higher up though, in order to possibly help those poor children still attending this school!!
Jodie

our blessings from above...
GBG.......December 2004
*lots of prayers ~ 31w4d*

"""

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tripletmomplus9 Tue Dec-12-06 07:08 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
992 posts

#239472, "RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....."
In response to Reply # 1


I too am sorry for what you have been through. Our children all attend private school, which is wonderful and a rock in all our lives. It is like a family to us, with talented, supportive, caring teachers, staff and administration. So sorry you did not have the same experience.

In your shoes, I of course would be doing the same thing. Best of luck to you in your new school environments.

Ellyn, the three little Z's(bbb 4/12/02), two littler S's(gb 7/22/04)
and seven other siblings(yes, that's 12!!)

http://lilypie.com>

http://lilypie.com>[/i




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mw Tue Dec-12-06 07:46 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3729 posts

#239476, "RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....."
In response to Reply # 0


Wow, I would be firing off letters to everybody to document all you know. Sent to the principal, the school board, any accredidation committe, your congressman - if this is a parochial school I would send letters to the Pastor, the church board and any higher delegate you can find out about.

I've never heard of this type of behavior and hope that you won't categorize it as the behavior of "private schools" per say because it sounds like an abberration. The teachers should be repremanded and - at least, the school should be forced to put, in writing, their punishment policy.

The orange vest business is ridiculous and humiliating. The only way I can see cleaning as an appropriate punishment is if it directly relates to the infraction - as in X child intentionally threw mud/rocks/food etc in the area and is now missing recess in order to pick up their own mess. This school is just doing things that will encourage future bad behavior - not solve anything - not teach the kids how to deal with anything and certainly not help them in their self confidence.

I'm sorry your kids have had to experience this and am glad you've made the decision to remove them.

Marie



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DebM Tue Dec-12-06 09:20 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1249 posts

#239500, "RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....."
In response to Reply # 0


Amy - OH MY GOSH!!!! I'm so angry about this. You need to march right down there and demand a meeting with the teacher and administrator. Sit there ALL DAY if you have to. This is unnaceptable and they should be held accountable. Threaten to call the local news and police for child abuse. Don't let this just blow over. Cause a BIG stink about it.

Private schools feel they can operate under their own rules but they need to be "called" on this.

No child should be put through the humilation as yours has been. This is completely insane.

Luke- 4lb,12oz
Wade - 3lb,4oz
Zoe - 5lb,2oz
Born at 34 weeks










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Karens5girls Tue Dec-12-06 10:02 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
779 posts

#239507, "RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....."
In response to Reply # 0


I don't know where to start. You need to talk to the principal, administrators and whoever else. I don't know if the school superintendent is also in charge (or is it a public school thing), but you need to fight!!! GO GIRL!

The vest is inappropriate, the cleaning of the halls is inappropriate. I think if there are kids that need to help hang coats it should be assigned to 2 kids after recess to "help" out the teachers, but not as a punishment. How much school has he missed due to him being punished? Ridiculous!!!!

I know people prefer private schools due to the classroom size, but the public schools can be just as good. We are public school kids and we have a great one. Do some homework to find out more or do open enrollment for next year into another district.

You need to tell someone. You need to tell EVERYONE! I also think that the mom who's son has worn the vest is crazy to let it happen. Accidents happen and we need to move on. A child's self-esteem and psych issues could take a VERY long time to fix (vs. reading or math issues).

I wish you good luck. Sending my prayers!
God Bless you in this journey (keep your composure!)
Karen

Mom to 5 Beauties
Allison,10,Grace,6
Margaret, Melissa, Michelle (6/20/02--34weeks 1day)

safe and healthy homes!
www.ImagineBALANCE.com/TakeChargeNow



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sushannah Tue Dec-12-06 10:07 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
323 posts

#239509, "RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....."
In response to Reply # 0


As a teacher that has tough pre-K thru 6th grade, both public and private, I am horrified by what you posted.

I would seriously document everything you can and send it to EVERYONE, including the media. This is a dangerous school that should not have the priviledge of educating children. How dare they.



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ash Tue Dec-12-06 04:59 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
955 posts

#239595, "RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....."
In response to Reply # 0


I think you are right removing your children from this environment. To me school is there to nurture our children, help them to grow and mature and to become happy, healthy individuals. This school seems only interested in making them conform at all costs regardless of how it is achieved. Choosing another school will not be easy but the best advertisement is to visit a potential school, speak to parents whose kids attend and get a 'feel' for the place. It won't be easy but I don't think you have a choice. Paying for an education does not mean you will receive a better education, I am sorry your kids have been let down so badly but hope that they can move on and find the right place for them - good luck

BGB - Born December 2000




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kathysyd Tue Dec-12-06 07:08 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1035 posts

#239610, "RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....."
In response to Reply # 0


Amy,

I worked in Title I for 11 years. The program is funded by the number of free and reduced lunch students you have in your building.

I have to defend the program itself though. I worked hard with my students and saw great progress with almost all of them. The students all wanted to be pulled out in our groups. The students who didn't need our help felt cheated that they couldn't come and work with us.

If nothing else it may have been good review for your son, but it sounds like he really doesn't need the program. I'm sure you know that it is a program to help bring students up to grade level in reading and math.

I gotta tell you. As a student myself, I attended a private school for grades 1-4. I hated it. I finally told my parents I wouldn't go back to that school and transferred to a public school. The nuns at that school were horribly mean. It wasn't worth it for me to stay there.

I think your son will be much happier changing schools. Good Luck.

mom to:
Ryan 28 The Lawyer!!!!!
Jason 26 The college grad
Chris 26 The New Homeowner
Tim 26 The college grad

I love hearing their versions of their childhood memories!!




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bbb2000 Wed Dec-13-06 06:48 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
236 posts

#239660, "RE: private school frustrations we are DONE....."
In response to Reply # 0


How horrible for you & your children to have gone through this. It breaks my heart. My boys are in K in public school (3 yrs of public preschool too). Every person who has been in contact with my kids say what a joy it is to know them.
2 of them have speech delays, but none of my boys know it. They are taken out of class, but they just see it as a time to go play games with Mrs "x".
No teacher should ever talk badly about a child. Or make a child feel dumb, or the whole orange vest this is just sooo wrong!
Good luck! Just wanted to let you know that public school can be a great place.



Joyce
Mommy to Jeffrey, Tyler, & Jonathan 10/2/00


Check out our MA/RI/NH/ME multiples group website:
http://www.tripletsmomsandmore.org/




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