Lets start some MOT-Domestic Violence

(What is it with the most drama filled posters requiring a decoder ring to decipher their posts? There may be a few posts in this string that weren't pulled but I will put them up so our newer members can understand the scope that was MOT.)

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UGH Woke up by dometic violence" Previous topic | Next topic


momoftreasures
Wed Sep-28-05 12:29 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1121 posts


#135906, "UGH Woke up by dometic violence"

Just when you think nothing else crazy can happen something like this does. I was waken this morning at 6:32 by a loud banging in my duples by my neibor and yells of her boyfriend throwing her pg body against the wall. To say the least I was terrified in no way was I going over their but part of my nursing instinct was quick HELP. I ran to get the phone and noticed she was leaving her apartment and had her two little kids in tow. SHe proceeded back to our apartment complex and yelled at her boyfriend that she wanted his key and that he was leaving and she did not want him back. Well she left and took her kids to daycare and I was not worried because she was gone however he proceeded to stay in her apartment and never gave he the key. I was terrified to even open my door but figured by the time I proceeded to get My oldest off to school all would be calm. The fight was not that terrible that I did not call 911 because I was not sure if he had actually hit her or threw her ect. I decided that I would just wait and speak to her and explain to her that as a nurse it is my duty to call it in. SHe is a good neighbor and has become a good friend I did not want to jump the gun until I was aware of the situation. Dh had taken the day off. SO I kinda figured they had just had an argument. Well Dh and I were talking the the bedroom when I kept hearing thumping on the walls. I turned to Dh and said what is he trashing her apt. Well within seconds I guess after she droped the kids back she came back for round three. I heard her screaming and begging him to stop and throwing things which I found out was her around the apt. I has trying to find the cordless to call 911 when I heard her get on her cell and then I heard him take it away from her. ANd smash it. I called for her and it was so tramatic. I have never been so scared in my life. All I could hear was dead silence I knew he was hurting her but had no idea how to stop him. Well I told the cops to hurry because not only was she introuble but my kids were terrified. We have a very loving relationship and my children have never heard two adults talk like this. Well they arrested him and as soon as the cop was in the hall I flung open my door and went to help. She is only 19 weeks pg and I was so terrified she was going to lose the baby. He busted her glasses and threw stuff everywhere. THe moment of silence was because he had tried to strangle her. I listen to her story in horror and realized at 6:32 I should of just called. We live in apt that are like duplexes and I saw her walking down the side walk with the kids to the car. I had no idea until her statement that she had put her three and one year old out the window to just get out. SO today has been a tramatic day. I have no idea if she is ok I did not go with to the hospital. The guy threathened to come and kill her and her children and I am scared because I filed a report on him also. You hear about this stuff everyday and never realize that it does happen even to your neighbors. Well sorry to vent but I needed to get this off my chest so I can continue my day. I told Dh that I jsut am not sure I have made the right decision by moving the kids and procuing my education. I had to explain all of this to his K teacher today. I almost feel like a delinquent mom. I know this was not my fault and we were just harmfully sleeping but hey what do I explain to my kids when he hears some guy beating his girlfriend and his mom on the phone to 911 in a panic because I am scared he is going to kill outside our apartment? Well hope everyone has a better day then us. They are getting him a restraining order so he can not come within so many feet of our building. I just hope she files charges also. I did file my charges. Thing is her other two children she had with a guy who was very abusive and she was strong enough to get out of that relationship. I do not believe this guy is as bad as him. I know the fight started over her accusing him of having a diffrent girl friend. IT is just so sad that things in the world are like this. She is a nice hard working mom who loves her kids and she does not deserve to be treated like that.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Amy
ND

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Replies to this topic


RE: UGH Woke up by dometic violence, Kissingginger, Sep 28th 2005, #1
RE: UGH Woke up by dometic violence, Jennaleigh, Sep 28th 2005, #2
RE: UGH Woke up by dometic violence, PaulaB, Sep 29th 2005, #3
RE: UGH Woke up by dometic violence, tulip, Sep 29th 2005, #4
RE: UGH Woke up by dometic violence, momoftreasures, Sep 29th 2005, #5
RE: UGH Woke up by dometic violence, tulip, Sep 29th 2005, #6



Kissingginger
Wed Sep-28-05 02:29 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
116 posts


#135933, "RE: UGH Woke up by dometic violence"
In response to Reply # 0

Amy,

I hope that your neighbor and her baby are okay. As for you, please take good care of yourself and try to get extra rest over the next few days. That kind of flight or fight stress can really get to you. I'm sorry that you and your family had to go through this. (hugs to you).


Natasha
Triplet boys
born May 28th, 2004
Victoria, BC Canada




Damian, Tanner and Corbin
5.3 pds., 4.2 pds, and 4.3 pds born at 34 weeks and 5 days.

webblog: http://hennessytriplets.blogspot.com

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Jennaleigh
Wed Sep-28-05 07:34 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
465 posts


#136015, "RE: UGH Woke up by dometic violence"
In response to Reply # 0

This is absolutely horryfing. I just hope that for the safety of your family and hers that next time you hear this situation you will call 911. You never know what is going on in your neighbors homes but it is always better to help someone out then sit idly by waiting to know if there is an extreme that will come about that will make you or someone else call for help. I would also talk to the girl and maybe you two could come up with a safety word that if she is in dyer need of help she can bang on the wall or something. I am so sorry your kids were exposed to this as well as her kids. I hope yall can pray for your neighbors safety.





Our Bridges to Heaven:
Greyson 12/1/04
Bryce 12/1/04
Brensley 12/1/04
Greenley Hope 2/1/06

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PaulaB
Thu Sep-29-05 12:56 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
133 posts


#136101, "RE: UGH Woke up by dometic violence"
In response to Reply # 0

For you and for her I would call the national hotline for domestic violence or a local number for domestic violence. Like another poster said to get a signal worked out. I worked at a domestic violence shelter and worked our 24 hour hotline. They are trained to help victims (which if you feel like he would hurt you/your kids/etc. you filed against him, etc.) make plans for dangerous stituations. For example...having the porch light go on for an across the street neighbor to see, closing the blinds, scratching the wall, having her kids sing a certain song, etc. Another idea is for her to keep original documents (like birth certificate, bank statements, Drivers License, kids bc's, etc.), clothing, some money, another set of car keys, an emergency cell phone, etc. at some other location (like a coworkers house that the abuser doesn't know, a bus station locker, the trunk of a friends vehicle, etc.). And ideas for you would be to know her signals. Have your kids know the signals, work out a plan with your kids about what to do if this situation happens again.
This woman you describe having two relationships like this...she is definetely in the cycle of Domestic Violence. I would recommend she get counseling. If you are friends, and she would take advice from you, I would support her going to counseling so she can learn how to avoid these types of relationships.
Anyways, sorry to have gone on and on. HTH.
PaulaB

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tulip
Thu Sep-29-05 02:51 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
6141 posts


#136108, "RE: UGH Woke up by dometic violence"
In response to Reply # 0

Domestic violence just makes me sick. I'm so sorry you've been exposed to it, especially her children and your children. PLEASE, call 911 immediately the next time this happens.

Tulip & The Three Amigos
GBG born at 35w5d on December 31, 2002 - Happy New Year's Eve!!!

YES! You *can* breastfeed triplets!!!

I am a Velveteen Rabbit, and the birth, love, kisses & magic that is the miracle of my children has made me Real

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momoftreasures
Thu Sep-29-05 10:26 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1121 posts


#136287, "RE: UGH Woke up by dometic violence"
In response to Reply # 4

Well the guy is still in jail. The girl and I let the kids run around and play triks outside tonight. The people at the domestic violence shelter were able to replace her glasses. And see had an ultrasound of the baby and all looks good. Thank the lord... I guess he was charged today must be on a state level or something and tommorrow he is being charged on the federal level. I am so proud that she has kept the charges and is not leting this go. SHe is an awesome mom and it shows she loves her kids. We are both a little freaked out but I did buy myself some great shades today because my apt was lacking them and I am going to talk to the manager of my apt building to see if they can give me a spot closer to the building to park in. Well we also have a temporary restraining order so if I see him I will be calling the cops ASAP. I still cannot believe that this happened right outside my door. But I guess it could of happened anywhere.

Amy H

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tulip
Thu Sep-29-05 10:29 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
6141 posts


#136288, "RE: UGH Woke up by dometic violence"
In response to Reply # 5

Well I think strangling someone constitutes attempted murder, and that's such a serious offense that I think it's not up to her if he gets charged or not. I may be wrong, but I think that when someone commits an act that violent the state automatically prosecutes. But I don't know for sure...

Tulip & The Three Amigos
GBG born at 35w5d on December 31, 2002 - Happy New Year's Eve!!!

YES! You *can* breastfeed triplets!!!

I am a Velveteen Rabbit, and the birth, love, kisses & magic that is the miracle of my children has made me Real

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