July 18 2005 MOT world falling apart

momoftreasures Fri Sep-16-05 01:20 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1133 posts

#133654, "What to due when the world seems to be falling apart......"


Hi everyone,
As you may remember DH had his job interview on Monday. Well they told him it would be two weeks before they had any word. Well some crazy things have happened since then. I was approached at the park by my best friends husband a few weeks ago and he proclaimed that this other guy had gotten the job that DH had applied for. I guess I was a little confused considering he had applied for a federal job and they have a strict hire process and the process had not been started yet. Well to make a terrible long story short. Dh was approached on Tuesday that he had to leave on a fire. He then proceeded to be told that they had hired this other guy for this position. Well the guy they hired was way underqualified. My Dh was actually his supervisor all summer. Anyway we have found out that the selection committee is made up of four people and that all of these people must be present. Well one of them was not present and did not do a confrence call. Anyway My Dh is devistated and so am I we feel like somone stomped on our goals and dreams. TO top it off the BSN program at my college has changed and the next graduating class of LPNs is over 43 and most of them are carrying 4.0 averages in nursing. The BSN program only has 25 spots open every fall and right know I only have a 3.6 from my LPN classes. So their is a huge chance that I will not be excepted. Their is nothing I can do I have really done my best. I mean I have done three semesters since the trio was born and gradated with honors. DH and I feel so beaten down. He is going to apply for other jobs everywhere like he has been doing. We actually did not apply in so many other places because we were so confident that he would of gotten this job in Dickinson. The job he applied for was identical to the job he currently has with the forest service just a diffrent location. They have expected him to work at two GS levels higher then he is currently getting paid for and we just can not survive on 13 dollers an hour. Sorry to vent but I feel like our lives fell apart tonight. Dh is going to apply other places but the kids and I are committed her in Dickinson because of college. I just pray I can get into my program or this whole situation was a terrible one. Well better go Jeremiah has a terrible cold and is screaming. One more sleepless night as daddy works at 12 bucks an hour and never sees his kids.
Oh ya we did the test for Gabriel and he scored 9 out of 10 that he is showing signs of Autism. Dh has no idea about this. Please if the world does not stop I will finally break.

Amy HOule



Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top




Replies to this topic

RE: What to due when the world seems to be falling apar..., bsebllmom9, Sep 16th 2005, #1
RE: What to due when the world seems to be falling apar..., ashquinn, Sep 16th 2005, #2
RE: What to due when the world seems to be falling apar..., PAML, Sep 16th 2005, #3
RE: What to due when the world seems to be falling apar..., ambreit, Sep 16th 2005, #4
RE: What to due when the world seems to be falling apar..., momoftreasures, Sep 16th 2005, #5
RE: What to due when the world seems to be falling apar..., Karens5girls, Sep 16th 2005, #6
RE: What to due when the world seems to be falling apar..., Jillstwiplets, Sep 16th 2005, #7



bsebllmom9 Fri Sep-16-05 07:33 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2078 posts

#133661, "RE: What to due when the world seems to be falling apar..."
In response to Reply # 0


{{{{{{{AMY}}}}}}} I wish there was something I could do to help you through this...Just love each other through this all...

Take Care,
Michelle

~33wk2d on Nov. 16, 2004~
Ayden~4#7oz(id)
Ryley~4#5oz(frat)
Dylan~3#13oz(id)
Stephanie~12.5yo
Tyler~14.5yo






Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top




ashquinn Fri Sep-16-05 07:47 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
192 posts

#133663, "RE: What to due when the world seems to be falling apar..."
In response to Reply # 0


You and your family WILL survive through this very rough time. Perhaps there is a better job for your husband around the corner that he was meant to have. And maybe Gabriel needs you more right now and you can continue with the BSN program next year? My thoughts are with you, Amy...hang in there and love on your husband and kids more than ever. You are together, you have each other and you will make it.


Ashley
30.2 weeks

Ava, Bella, Noah - Nov 2005
Big Brother Mason - May 2003




Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top




PAML Fri Sep-16-05 09:16 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2403 posts

#133677, "RE: What to due when the world seems to be falling apar..."
In response to Reply # 0


(((Amy)))-things seem so unfair don't they? How could somebody less-qualified get a job first? Actually, I find this happens a lot! They often times want to hire someone less-qualified so they can pay them less money, your husband might represent a higher salary to them. I always thought the better qualified and educated you were the jobs would be easier to get, not true. My DH is a teacher, has been at a private school for 7 years not only doing the PE and Health program himself, but also directing and coaching the entire athletic program. He put in a lot of hours and hoped this would help him get into the public school system, but all the interviews he went on he would find out later that they hired a 23 year old right out of college. One school he applied to, my good friend is friends with the Superintendent, and she asked him "off the record" why the younger person was hired over my 37 year old, well qualified husband...he told her that they could pay the 22 year old 10-15K dollars less per year, and that's what they looked at, irregardless of the fact that my DH would bring more to the school.

SO, don't take the fact that your DH is getting turned down as bad, hi might actually be stuck in that horrible, unfair process of business where dollars spent equals success not qualified employees. I hope something does come along soon for him, he should probably be applying for jobs above what he is qualified for, then maybe he will actually be considered for those.

About school, that stinks, having a 3.6 GPA is darn good in any nursing program, there's not much else you can do. Possibly work as an LPN for now and try a different way of getting the BSN? Like continuing education or having the hospital you work for write reference letters? I'm not super familar with how nursing programs run...I just know I didn't get into any PT programs for the same reason, I never even realized the programs were limited and usually only 4.0 students got in. I would just start working with your lesser degree now and get some feedback as to what to do next with other men/women in the field.

In any event, I cna't solve your problems, but I hope I made you feel a little better knowing sometimes these things don't seem as they really are. You and your DH are doing a great job and there's nothin more frustrating than not getting what's best for your family! Glad you could comd here and vent!

PAM
ggg @ 31+ weeks




Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top




ambreit Fri Sep-16-05 10:33 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
45 posts

#133692, "RE: What to due when the world seems to be falling apar..."
In response to Reply # 0


I am so sorry!! It sounds like you are experiencing Murphy's Law ten fold. Try to hang in there. I know it drives me crazy when people say this, but everything happens for a reason. It is probably hard to accept that now, but if you keep plugging along and continue to do your best, it will work out. My DH worked to get his Master's degree through two of my pregnancies (triplets were result of failed birth control when my DD was 9 mo. old) (4 babies in a year and a half!!), got certified in his field (teaching) and was told by the private school he works for that they don't have the budget to give him the raise he was promised. This news comes just after we bought our dream house that is just out of our price range. I am not in your personal situation, but I can definitely sympathize and I feel your pain. It is never easy when you are faced with family and financial problems, but try to keep the faith that you will all find your way. Also, I will keep Gabriel and all of you in my prayers. Communicate as much as you can with DH. It helps me.

Stay strong
Alex
wife to Michael
mom to
Sydni-6
Jill-2
Maddie, Dom & Ben born 9-3-04 @ 38 wks.



Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top




momoftreasures Fri Sep-16-05 10:48 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1133 posts

#133695, "RE: What to due when the world seems to be falling apar..."
In response to Reply # 4


Thank you everyone for your support. I think I cried and screamed in a pillow for almost three hours last night. It just hurts so bad when I look back all everything he has missed with the triplets and Nathaniel to be dedicated to this job. It was not like he applied for something he is not qualified for. He already works for this forest and does this job actaul above it so their was really no way he had to qualify. Anyway, he is fighing and filing a greivence with the Forest Service because of the comments made by one of the supervisors in his interview. We found out yesterday that this same individual had told two other people in our community that he was hiring Justin and that was that. The government has a strict hire practice and he told people that justin was hired before they had even pick the top three people. I had a friend at DH work do some checking and this guy is way less qualified then Lenny. Dh is so devistated but he is going to see what he can do. Instead of getting a formal letter or confrence about who was hired the same guy that I mentioned above approached him before he was leaving for a fire in the parking lot and said oh by the way I offered Justin the job and he excepted. Totally unperfessional and then my husband had to leave for this fire. He is currently on this fire working to grade levels above his current position. Because he is to qualified but obviously his current employers do not want him to get paid. Well we are looking up we are going to file a greivence and we are going to possible file with the EEOC. We are worried that maybe their is some prejudice on race and that is why he is not getting the job. Sorry for the long post I better go the kids have destroyed the house and my eyes are so sore today. I really wish god had gifted me with a way to handle stuff like this so much better. Please keep us in our prayers for once again our destiny has seemed to go up in smoke. I feel more responsible because they started treating Lenny diffrent after the birht of our triplets. Dh has never choosen us over his job for fear it would hurt his career. We have just sacraficed so much for him to go into this profession. I guess it hurts the most that we have dedicated so much and done so much for this forest. We sold our house a year ago and moved because we had to. But chin up I will stop venting and get moving I have a huge test this weekend and on thursday and everything is riding on me to get my BSN. I have to pass these classes and keep my GPA high or it will be a no go for me. More then ever I wish I could of been super women and finished pg with the trio instead of quiting I would not of fallen under the regs of the new program. Well hopefully everyone has a great day. Mine I hope will get better.
I just feel like somewhere along the way Lenny and I were so busy and working so hard we missed our boat.

Thanks to everyone that has been our friends

Amy Houle




Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top




Karens5girls Fri Sep-16-05 01:10 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
779 posts

#133713, "RE: What to due when the world seems to be falling apar..."
In response to Reply # 5


Amy, I have called and left messages many times to talk, but haven't heard back from you. I am here for you. I have always enjoyed your conversation.

{{{HUGS}}} to you! I will say that I would have NEVER thought I would live my life struggling either. I was always at the top and making good money there, and we, too struggle with DH being a police officer.

You have a good head on your shoulders. You have a TON of energy! There have been things that have happened to you in the past and you have found a way to work around them....so here's another one. Can DH go into another profession? What about applying at other states or looking for a recruiter? Recruiters are paid by the company and not the individual.

Glad to see you on TC. Hopefully we'll talk soon!

Take Care,
Karen

Mom to 5 Beauties
Allison,8,Grace,5
Margaret, Melissa, Michelle (6/20/02--34weeks 1day)

Showing other MOMS how to stay home and earn extra income!
www.ImagineBALANCE.com/TakeChargeNow



Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top




Jillstwiplets Fri Sep-16-05 04:04 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1148 posts

#133739, "RE: What to due when the world seems to be falling apar..."
In response to Reply # 5


(((Amy))) I am so sorry. May God give you and dh the strength to overcome these obstacles. I know you can make it through. Please keep us posted, already you and dh are brainstorming about what to do next, that means you are dusting yourself off and getting back up. Good for you. Take care.

Jill
Noah and Elly, 12/13/95
Jonah, Justin and Erin, http://lilypie.com>