momoftreasures Tue May-19-09 01:00 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1133 posts
#201742, "What do you do with family......that treat you like tho..."
UGH..... well we got home yesterday from a family vacation... My brother and his wife came home from Utah on military leave, and my sister was still home from TN as her husband is in IRAQ, Overall our vacation was full of fun and lots of activities,
My triplets actually went camping, Dh was on a fire in NM so I WAS ALONE yes alone camping with 4 kids under the age of six, it can be done..... I was amazed they were so awesome.....
But my brother was terrible.... He started acting all crazy over the weekend before the fourth of July... I guess he has some family issues that he more or less has brought on himself... Guess I really do not understand them. I had just gotten the triplets ready for supper and was doing my makeup in my motel room and he barged in screaming at me and treating my like DIRT...... I simply told him I was 5 hours from home, in a hotel room, for a sm family reunion to see my sick grandma, and that I had enough going on in my life I did not have time for him to YELL at me and try to make me aware of his family problems..... I mean YIKES I am a busy women......
Well he did not talk to me the whole weekend ect when he wanted me to baby site at 11 pm so his wife and him could have supper with old friends.... Well I let it all go and continued our family vacation after the reunion with our camping trip.... It was slightly stressfull as I was worried about the kids ect..... Well I guess our last night at the lake while I was bathing the triplets ONE at a time in my moms camper my brother started going off about MY KIDS... That they are brats and that someone is always crying.... That I needed to BEAT them....OMG My oldest son was so upset when I finished everyones baths he was crying... My mom informed me that it was correct and that she had told Him to GO FOR A WALK..... Well I was unsure at that moment of what I should of done... So I explained to nate that if someone says hurtful things we need to tell them they have hurt us..... SO he told uncle that he had hurt his feelings.... I was only about 15 feet away and My Brother started going off on this little inicent 6 year old... He started saying all of these terrible things about the trips and what he would do to them if they were his kids... Believe me it was PSYCHO..... OMG........ I finally butted in and confronted him on his nasty behavior, mind you the trio was sleeping at this moment, he started dancing around the camp ground like a 2 year old.....
I honestly told him that if I ever saw him touch one of my children or leave a mark on them I would call the police family or NOT... NO ONE threatens my kids.... Well lets just say he proceeded to tell me terrible things about myself, my husband, and my kids, he told me that he has grown up to realize that the whole world can just F off... I was shocked he use to be such a great guy....
Anyway, I am having such issues with people in my family and the arrival of my triplets....Is this normal.... I know you learn who your friends are but does this also apply to family???????
My parents said that I can't expect anything else out of him because I JUST THREW triplets into the family and I just expect everyone to handle it.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAha well that what I did.....and do everyday....
I got angry with my brother and told him instead of complaining maybe he should get off his rear and help as I had bathed, feed and put to bed all of my children while my family sat around and gossiped about me... HE said he was not my husband and that I was not his wife.... UGH thank god I would never marry a man like him.....
Anyway, he ruined the rest of our family vacation, were were looking forward to more fun days at the lake and more good memories..... He never really apologized he called on his way back to UTah and said he was sorry that he said the things he did and that they offended me... Offended me he insulted me....and never cared that he was attacking my family...
Sorry to VENT..... I packed the kids that morning and left, we never said goodbye, in my opion he got his way, I decided that I was driving down that gravel road and NOT looking back, my kids don't need people like that in their lives, I just never figured someone in my family would be so crude.....
Sorry to VENT.... It does help.....
I guess I just always figured that god not only bless me he blessed everyone else too.... Guess some people just can't see blessings... He thinks because his 11 month old is perfect he will stay that way.....hahahahahahahah not sure I should laugh he is a jerk I am very concerned about what will happen to my little nephew when he is 2....... SO SAD......my brother shared that you can raise children like you raise your dog....scary.....I watched him with his puppy three years ago.... and if I was god I think I would of made him sterile......
Lets just say part of our family fight was that he left his 11 month old ALONE in a hotel room for an hour to come lounge at the pool.... YA ALONE and his wife accomidated him.... SOME PEOPLE
Amy
Amy
Amy Houle
When you're down to nothing, God is always up to something....
Mom to four awesome kids.
Nathaniel My pride and JOY
11-25-99
My awesome blessings
Jeremiah My blue eyed baby
Hannah My sweet little princess
Gabriel My true angel from heaven
5-
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Replies to this topic
RE: What do you do with family......that treat you like..., SAM_KEN_MC, Jul 11th 2006, #1
RE: What do you do with family......that treat you like..., the quadmother, Jul 11th 2006, #2
RE: What do you do with family......that treat you like..., BrookeFl, Jul 11th 2006, #3
RE: What do you do with family......that treat you like..., momoftreasures, Jul 11th 2006, #4
RE: What do you do with family......that treat you like..., steadman6pack, Jul 11th 2006, #5
RE: What do you do with family......that treat you like..., momoftreasures, Jul 12th 2006, #6
SAM_KEN_MC Tue Jul-11-06 07:33 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
213 posts
#201748, "RE: What do you do with family......that treat you like..."
In response to Reply # 0
OH MY GOD AMY!!!!! I'm sorry you went through that how scary that must have been for you and your little ones. If I were you I would write him off and I would no longer have a brother in my life. I am sitting here shaking my head about this whole situation I cannot believe a family member could do that to their own flesh and blood. Your mother's comments about throwing triplets into the family is also way out of line how dare she. My family is nothing but excited about my 2 year old trio and even though my brother and I have our differences he loves my children, travels a half hour everyfew weeks to see them and when we are at family partys he is a huge help to me. You do what you need to do protect those precious children of yours keep them away from the mean and cruel because they are going to hit an age where they are going to remember. I'm so sorry your vacation was ruined but it sounds like you rose above it the best you could.
Take care
Laurie
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the quadmother Tue Jul-11-06 08:06 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
528 posts
#201760, "RE: What do you do with family......that treat you like..."
In response to Reply # 0
Wow! Amy! I can't imagine what you went through. I agree with the above poster. I would not only keep your kids away from your brother, but also from your mother. He's an obvious serious danger to your children's mental and emotional health. I would never let him be near them again, even if it meant missing family get-togethers and holidays. If he talks to you and seems apologetic, urge him to seek some help in the form of counseling to deal with his issues, and tell him that the way he is handling them is damaging to others. If he listens, great; if not, you won't have wasted anything but breath -- hang up the phone and don't talk to him anymore. And if your mother feels that way about your children, why have them visit her? Your children are better off never seeing their grandmother than to live with the pain and guilt her comments will cause them -- and you!
But, if I were you, I'd do my best to try and keep in contact with your brother's wife. Are you on good terms with her? If so, try to remain friends with her and try to express your concern over the safety and well-being of your nephew (her son). Tell her how he has been acting and what he has been saying about and to your children. Talk to her about how dangerous it is to leave a baby (soon-to-be a walking, small-object-swallowing toddler) alone. Encourage her to have him join her in taking some parenting classes or possibly even going to counseling. I fear that her child is in grave danger. If there's anything you can do to prevent this child from being hurt, please try. If she won't listen, call your (or their) local child protective services. Someone needs to make sure that baby is in safe hands.
Julie
single mom to 5yo BBGB quads:
Stosh Alon
Noach Ari
Rivkah Ivanova
Nuriel Alexander
"The 'hard' is what makes it great." -- Tom Hanks as Jimmy Dugan in "A League of Their Own"
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BrookeFl Tue Jul-11-06 09:00 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
2338 posts
#201776, "RE: What do you do with family......that treat you like..."
In response to Reply # 0
I am so sorry this has happened to you. he is a JERK plain and simple, but it is so sad. He is your brother and I am sure you didnt expect any of that from him.
At least he did this at an age (for the trio at least) that they will not remember any of this. Sad to say your 6 year old might remember this forever.
I am sure you are so extremly hurt right now. I would be, and angry as i am sure you are.
Just take it 1 day at a time and try to cool down for a few days before talking to any of them (not meaning you call them, but if they call you).
Wish I had some great advice but i dont.
just vent away honey, you came to the right place to do it.
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momoftreasures Tue Jul-11-06 10:17 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1133 posts
#201783, "RE: What do you do with family......that treat you like..."
In response to Reply # 3
Sorry for the confusion.... Guess I vented to Much.... My dad was the one who said that I should not expect my family to except triplets..... NOT MY mom...... My mom actually told my brother to take a walk when he made the rude comments about the babies.... My mom has always tried to be around for the kids. She is a school teacher so I think that is why she understands more about them then anyone else... I mean she has 1st graders all day long..... I am sure she has had more challenges in her class room then her grandkids..... I just wish my WHOLE family would except them and learn to love them for what they are and that is ALL MY KIDS..... You are right my Six year old will remember this FOREVER...... So sorry to say I am not planning on having contact with my brother for a very very long time. he has at least two years left in the service before he tries to move back home..... HOnestly if I had to move across the world at this moment to stay away from him I WOULD... it was that BAD..... I believe in forgive and forget but I just don't think I simply can forget this....not for a very long time.. I cherish my children simply cherish them.. God gave them to me to love and protect and by goodness that is what I WILL DO even if it means not having him in my life... My children mean that much to ME.....
Amy
Amy Houle
When you're down to nothing, God is always up to something....
Mom to four awesome kids.
Nathaniel My pride and JOY
11-25-99
My awesome blessings
Jeremiah My blue eyed baby
Hannah My sweet little princess
Gabriel My true angel from heaven
5-
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steadman6pack Tue Jul-11-06 11:31 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1364 posts
#201804, "RE: What do you do with family......that treat you like..."
In response to Reply # 0
What an ass!!!!! I can't believe he said those things!! My brother gets overwhelmed w/ my trio sometimes but he would never dream of saying those things. My first thought was "He must be on drugs". Do you think that is the case? I would stay completely away from him and I would write him a letter telling him exactly how he made you feel.
Beth
Dylan-10
Tommy,Karli,Abby- 10/14/02 32w 2d
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momoftreasures Wed Jul-12-06 12:01 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1133 posts
#201812, "RE: What do you do with family......that treat you like..."
In response to Reply # 5
Ok I am almost sure he is not on drugs and I think that is even worse then if he truely was..... he is in the air force........... Actually he voices how much he HATES it....... My sister who also was with us on our vacation has a husband who is currently on his secound tour in IRaq.... they have a baby girl who is only turning 2 next month.... he has really missed half of her life already..... My brother could say NOTHING nice about him all week either...... Like he is some big shot because the military has not sent him overseas,..... MAKES ME SICK.... but understand if they sent him to Iraq he would be the weird one that KILLED inoccent people UGH..... Anyway, I had pretty much decided that when I left that morning I was saying GOODBYE......
I just fear for my nephew but I have to remember I cant save the WHOLE world right
Amy
When you're down to nothing, God is always up to something....
Mom to four awesome kids.
Nathaniel My pride and JOY
11-25-99
My awesome blessings
Jeremiah My blue eyed baby
Hannah My sweet little princess
Gabriel My true angel from heaven
5-
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