Feisty Jan 18 2008 Local moms group

Subject: "Feistylioness...."
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kylamel
Thu Jan-17-08 07:19 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 1737 posts

#324021, "Feistylioness...."

I'm glad to read that your local moms group has decided to help you out. You mentioned that they were not helpful. When did they start helping you? Some members here have reached out to you offering help and you have basically turn them down. When members here urge you to go see you fragile preemies in the NICU it is because they are trying to help you help your babies. Many of us had spouses that worked and older children to care for while our triplets were in the NICU BUT we found ways to get to the NICU. Try to accept help when it is offered and not summarily dismiss it.
Melanie



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RE: Feistylioness...., tiffkekoa, Jan 17th 2008, #1 RE: Feistylioness...., kylamel, Jan 17th 2008, #2 RE: Feistylioness...., wilds, Jan 17th 2008, #4 RE: Feistylioness...., TinaMomTo4, Jan 17th 2008, #5 RE: Feistylioness...., jonib, Jan 17th 2008, #7 RE: Feistylioness...., 3petes, Jan 17th 2008, #3 RE: Feistylioness...., LolasLadies, Jan 17th 2008, #6 RE: Feistylioness...., Sunshinebabies3, Jan 17th 2008, #8 RE: Feistylioness...., jonib, Jan 17th 2008, #9 RE: Feistylioness...., kylamel, Jan 17th 2008, #10 RE: Feistylioness...., jonib, Jan 17th 2008, #11 RE: Feistylioness...., kylamel, Jan 18th 2008, #23 RE: Feistylioness...., momof6plus, Jan 17th 2008, #13 RE: Feistylioness...., MSTAR, Jan 17th 2008, #12 RE: Feistylioness...., kristim81, Jan 17th 2008, #14 RE: Feistylioness...., tiffkekoa, Jan 17th 2008, #15 RE: Feistylioness...., LolasLadies, Jan 17th 2008, #16 RE: Feistylioness...., wilds, Jan 17th 2008, #18 RE: Feistylioness...., TinaMomTo4, Jan 17th 2008, #19 RE: Feistylioness...., roundtwo, Jan 17th 2008, #17 RE: Feistylioness...., becca p, Jan 17th 2008, #20 RE: Feistylioness...., DolceVita, Jan 18th 2008, #21 RE: Feistylioness...., LRB, Jan 18th 2008, #22 RE: Feistylioness...., Sunshinebabies3, Jan 18th 2008, #24 RE: Feistylioness...., Triplethefun04, Jan 18th 2008, #25 RE: Feistylioness...., Sunshinebabies3, Jan 18th 2008, #26 RE: Feistylioness...., kmrmommy, Jan 18th 2008, #28 RE: Feistylioness...., VballPlayer, Jan 18th 2008, #27 RE: Feistylioness...., NCtripmom, Jan 18th 2008, #29


tiffkekoa
Thu Jan-17-08 08:24 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 76 posts

#324029, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 0

Hi Melanie, I am a member of our local Triplet group here in San Diego and referred Valerie (feistylioness)to them and right away they gathered all kinds of baby items for her toddler and new babies. It's a wonderful group and are extremely supportive. Right away everyone pitched in to help her and her kids. Just wanted to let you know...I can't imagine that at any time they wouldn't help a triplet mom in need!! TiffanyAlana, Brady, CooperBorn 12/20/07 at 29 weeks 5 days



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kylamel
Thu Jan-17-08 08:54 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 1737 posts

#324038, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 1

Wow, that is wonderful. She had mentioned that her local groups were not helpful.
Melanie



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wilds
Thu Jan-17-08 12:25 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 2543 posts

#324098, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 1

I have no doubt the local multiples group was eager to help-but at the risk of offending someone who is not a faker - why is there so much suspicion about her ? anyone know ? Has anyone met her or her babies/toddler ? Did someone from the local group bring things to her ? If she is not faking and really has suffered the tragic loss of one of her babies and is also struggling financially then I pray that she gets all the support and help she needs.
LorraineReach for the heart of God and not just His hands. Organ donation saves lives!Life happens when love is given.www.caringbridge.org/visit/braden



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TinaMomTo4
Thu Jan-17-08 03:13 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 457 posts

#324160, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 4

>I have no doubt the local multiples group was eager to>help-but at the risk of offending someone who is not a faker ->why is there so much suspicion about her ? anyone know ? Has>anyone met her or her babies/toddler ? Did someone from the>local group bring things to her ? I'm curious too.........>If she is not faking and really has suffered the tragic loss>of one of her babies and is also struggling financially then I>pray that she gets all the support and help she needs. I agree!
_______________________________________TinaMommy to Giuliana born 1/26/06Mommy to BGG Triplets - Born 3/3/07 @ 31w5dLuigi 3lbs 8oz - 26 days in the NICUSofia 3lbs 12oz - 20 days in the NICUValentina 3lbs 11oz - 20 days in the NICU



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jonib
Thu Jan-17-08 03:27 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 783 posts

#324166, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 1

so with the support of this group could somebody get her to the nicu?
JonibAbby, Andy and Caroline turned 2 Nov. 20th!Rhett turns 10 12/15!no, I can't get the lily pie to work



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3petes
Thu Jan-17-08 12:18 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 794 posts

#324097, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 0

Sorry Melanie, I would have loved to respond on this post, but I responded on the No NICU Stay post instead. I guess you are echoing my thoughts completely.JamyeLove my GGG ~ Grouchy, Grinchy, and Grumpyhttp://www.babysites.com/sites/3petes/



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LolasLadies
Thu Jan-17-08 03:22 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 508 posts

#324164, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 0

"KylaSmell" - that sounds like a trendy perfume, lmao! What nice cyberfriends you have... As far as feisty goes, she either needs to quit faking, or if she's really a MoM, needs to get over it and realize her problems could be a LOT WORSE. I tried to be nice on the NICU post, but her attitude could use a makeover. If she IS real, her story is quite the shape-shifter.
Lola's GGG 28-weekers:Sassy Pants, Crabby Pants, and Smarty Pants(They get their "genes" from me!)The world's least triplet-related triplet blog: http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com



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Sunshinebabies3
Thu Jan-17-08 03:44 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 836 posts

#324170, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 6

just wondering...but dont you agree that some people 'handle' stressful situations by running from them? My hubby is that way. I am the opposite, and it really frustrates me that he is that way. BUT it really isnt my place to change how he operates. She hasnt deposited her children in a dumpster. She simply isn't living in the NICU like many of us did.IS there basis for crucifying this woman? I am not trying to pick a fight. Im just not sure why everyone thinks she is a faker. I think I must have missed some posts or something.
Owner:Cutie Tooties Cloth Diaperswww.cutietooties.comYES! You can cloth diaper TRIPLETS!



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jonib
Thu Jan-17-08 03:56 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 783 posts

#324175, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 8

I agree we can have a civil debate while questioning someones legitimacy. So much just simply does not add up. I'm not a cyber sleuth, but just reading her posts I realize they don't make any sense from a timing standpoint. Several people have reached out to her offering contacts and she simply does not respond, then she comes on with whacky excuses, and yes, imo they are excuses. so I guess it goes back to if she's for real, she needs real help, if she's not then it will be a blessing
JonibAbby, Andy and Caroline turned 2 Nov. 20th!Rhett turns 10 12/15!no, I can't get the lily pie to work



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kylamel
Thu Jan-17-08 04:08 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 1737 posts

#324178, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 9

The purpose of this post is not to "crucify" anyone. I was glad to hear that her local group came through when she said that they of no help and also to get the point across that the experienced moms here are trying to offer her support and help w/her NICU aversion.LolasLadies - a trendy perfume? that's FUNNY!3petes - great minds think alike
Melanie



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jonib
Thu Jan-17-08 04:23 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 783 posts

#324181, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 10

wait a minute...I consider myself your cyberfriend and don't call you kylasmell, well maybe if I were a stupid adolescent with access to my moms computer I might!
JonibAbby, Andy and Caroline turned 2 Nov. 20th!Rhett turns 10 12/15!no, I can't get the lily pie to work



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kylamel
Fri Jan-18-08 09:45 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 1737 posts

#324329, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 11

Jonib - it is pretty sophomoric, right?
Melanie



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momof6plus
Thu Jan-17-08 04:34 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 90 posts

#324186, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 10

Hey everybody, Just trying to catch up on these posts and I have a dumb question. But first I will give my opinion. I think if I had lost a baby and had 2 in the NICU and a 3 yo at home I would def. be depressed and p.o. at the world. Maybe that explains some of the odd behavior and/or disconnected feelings. Also if I was too busy to go to see my babies I would not have time to be farting around on the computer. I have a 3 yo at home and my NICU was a 2 hour drive, I hated going too but I cried my eyes out if I missed a day. I always made sure that if one of us could not be there very long that there was a grandparent going up that day to sit and hold and talk to the babies. It was hard and there was a lot of arrangements made just to get up there, our girls were not there very long at all compared to some of you and I am thankful for that. I was so swollen and had edema so bad that I could not bend my legs to get into the vehicle for the first week, I literally had my husband push me into the back of the vehicle so I could get my ass in there to go because my legs hurt so bad. I like many of you would walk through fire to get to my babies and you could not keep me away!Ok here is my dumb question...why would somebody fake being a mom of triplets? I didn't understand the picture thing either until I saw why somebody's post was removed today eeewwww!Amy Mom to 9 kids!Mom to 3boys 3,11,17step mom of 3 boys 19,22,23ggg 32 weekers born 8/12/07



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MSTAR
Thu Jan-17-08 04:34 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 1366 posts

#324185, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 0

She is real. I just spoke to someone whose friend was actually sitting with her at dinner last week. She's been given an enormous amount of material things by the San Diego MOMS. They are reaching out to give her emotional support. I hope she accepts it and I will pray for her and for her babies.
MicheleSarah, Gregory, Amandaborn 1/22/04 at 35w1dOur surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com



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kristim81
Thu Jan-17-08 04:36 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 723 posts

#324188, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 12

I wonder if one of the women from the MOMS group could sit with her son while she goes to the nicu? Or give her a ride if she needs it?I will continue to pray for this family.
Kristi26 weekers born April 9, 2007Big sissy Kadence 4 years oldhttp://www.krististrio.blogspot.com



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tiffkekoa
Thu Jan-17-08 04:38 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 76 posts

#324190, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 12

Yep..she is real. She did attend our last meeting in San Diego and brought her toddler son. Her two other surviving boys are in the NICU at one of the hospitals here and there is an email in my inbox right now offering to accompany her to the NICU or to go hold her babies since it is very hard emotionally for her to go.Tiffany



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LolasLadies
Thu Jan-17-08 05:23 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 508 posts

#324202, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 12

I'm glad to hear that people are stepping up for her and her babies. I hope she accepts the help that all of you are offering her because as someone previously posted, this is time she cannot get back.
Lola's GGG 28-weekers:Sassy Pants, Crabby Pants, and Smarty Pants(They get their "genes" from me!)The world's least triplet-related triplet blog: http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com



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wilds
Thu Jan-17-08 05:32 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 2543 posts

#324205, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 16

I'm glad she is getting the support she needs and hopefully she will accept the emotional support too. I still think she needs to hear that she needs to be there for her babies no matter what. I can't imagine how stressful it is to have lost a baby and still have two babies in serious condition in the hospital but I know she will feel better about things if she spend time with her survivors. I will pray that some of the support she needs will come from local moms who can take her to the hospital and help watch her 3 year old.
LorraineReach for the heart of God and not just His hands. Organ donation saves lives!Life happens when love is given.www.caringbridge.org/visit/braden



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TinaMomTo4
Thu Jan-17-08 06:03 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 457 posts

#324209, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 12

Oh that's such good news!!! It's so nice to hear other MOM's pulling together to help out "one of their own" Whatever her circumstances are, I'm sure she'll be accepting of it. I will pray for a happy ending.
_______________________________________TinaMommy to Giuliana born 1/26/06Mommy to BGG Triplets - Born 3/3/07 @ 31w5dLuigi 3lbs 8oz - 26 days in the NICUSofia 3lbs 12oz - 20 days in the NICUValentina 3lbs 11oz - 20 days in the NICU



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roundtwo
Thu Jan-17-08 05:29 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 191 posts

#324203, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 0

Hearing this about a mom that isn't going to the NICU often reminds me of a baby that was in the NICU at the same time as us. I will NEVER forget little Octavious (sp?) or his nonstop crying. Our NICU has private rooms and his was directly across the hall from our DD. I don't know anything about his medical condition other than he was a full term baby and he cried and cried and cried. It broke my heart. I was there everyday for at least 12 hours and can count the number of times I saw his mom or grandmother on one hand. The nurses tried to hold him whenever they could, but of course they had other babies to attend to as well (I always hated when we shared a nurse with that poor little guy. Shelfish I know, but I knew that my little ones wouldn't get as much attention on those days). The NICU also had volunteers hold him, but that was still only an hour or 2 a day. It was horrible. I don't know the mom's story. Maybe she had to work. Maybe they lived very far away. But the consequences on that poor baby. When he was being held he was a totally different baby. I often wondered how different things would be if his mom could be there as much as I had the luxery to be. One day about an hour after I arrived I suddenly noticed how quiet it was. The little guy got transferred to the PICU. I still wonder about him sometimes. Sorry I'm rambling. I just think it is sooooo important to visit the babies as much as possible. I'm one of those people that HATES asking for help, but when it comes to my babies I have to put that aside at times. I'm just so confused by this fiesty person.
JenniferGBG 2/20/2007@29 weeks



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becca p
Thu Jan-17-08 08:16 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 555 posts

#324242, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 17

I still remember when my ds (who is now almost 11) was in the NICU and there was a baby there that the mother never came to visit. The father came every day, but the mother was suffering from SEVERE Post partem depression and just could not come. It still makes me very sad, for the baby, for the mother, and for the father, too. I was more judgemental about it back then. I know that I have no idea what it's like to lose a child, much less one of the triplets. If you happen to be suffering from PPD on top of that. How horrible it would be. I just hope she has lots of support and I'm not saying she has PPD, but it has to be a hard situation for anyone. I am just happy that the MOMs group is there to offer her support. Hopefully they can help her through this difficult time.Becca



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DolceVita
Fri Jan-18-08 09:29 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 293 posts

#324322, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 0

I just thought i would say something about this..... She lost a baby, shes having financial issues and God knows if shes suffering from PPD. Can we just give her a break and just leave her alone. This is awful.kristine
33w6d Leila 5lb 2ozNareg 4lb 14ozSevag 4lb 11ozhttp://lilypie.com>



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LRB
Fri Jan-18-08 09:45 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 1032 posts

#324328, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 21

Sometimes helping and supporting is giving someone the tough love necessary to get them to do the right thing that might seem otherwise impossible. Other times, giving someone a break and leaving someone alone just enables them to continue to go down a destructive path. I hope that those who are in her local group can discern what her true situation is.Robin



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Sunshinebabies3
Fri Jan-18-08 09:50 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 836 posts

#324330, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 22Fri Jan-18-08 09:50 AM by Sunshinebabies3

And sometimes the best way to help someone is to encourage them and pray for them. I just don't get why so many here so often feel the need to be judge and jury.My God. It is not our job to dictate how anyone else parents. I personally think the thread is pretty unkind just b/c it calls out someone who has just experienced the death of a child. Where are the people who are so supportive of other moms when this happens?If you are genuinely concerned for this woman, email her and keep it private in order to be kind and save her embarassment over her struggles. Otherwise there is some agenda that is self-serving. Does everyone feel better for trashing this woman? A nice pat on the back for yourself b/c you are a better mom? This is just wrong.Mods--Can you please delete this thread???
Owner:Cutie Tooties Cloth Diaperswww.cutietooties.comYES! You can cloth diaper TRIPLETS!



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Triplethefun04
Fri Jan-18-08 10:14 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 488 posts

#324334, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 24

And there are some people that don't respond to sunshine and roses advice all the time. Sometimes people need a kick in the pants to see what they're doing is wrong and they need to try something else. Do you really think coming here and complaining about how much you hate the NICU and stating that you only go a couple times a week, for probably an hour or two each time is good for her babies and for her to get to know her babies and truly be prepared to care for her babies when they eventually come home? Do you think that if someone is obviously suffering from either PPD or some other hormone imbalance that we should just ignore that and not say anything? What if she can't see it? What if someone suggesting to her to see her doc is helping her and she gets the meds she needs to stabilize herself and feel better about her life and her situation? What if we just ignored her? Does that help? Should we just be shush-shush about obvious things that a lot of us, not just a few have noticed about her postings? Some people ignore things and hope they go away. Some people face them head on and deal with it. Hopefully the MOMs in her real life can point her in the direction of the help she needs. See her in real life and know how she's dealing with stuff. Cuz from her online postings, she's in need of help to cope with her preemies, the loss of her child, her finances and her recovery. Sure delete this thread and she'll never see it...she'll never see that she needs to get some help from anyone willing to give it. Which seems like a lot of us here have tried, but she ignores it...Her choice and her loss...



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Sunshinebabies3
Fri Jan-18-08 10:34 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 836 posts

#324337, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 25

No. Dont ignore it. Instead of fixating on the behavior, deal with the cause/issue. I agree this has PPD all over it. I think there is a much kinder and yet firm way to say:' Hey. YOu really need to see your kids more often. it is tough, but you just gotta make it happen. It is normal to be afraid of the NICU. We all were, but you just have to make yourself go. Get a friend and go. Go as often as you can to help yourself get through it. Also--you might consider that you appear to be struggling with depression. PPD is common and it can cause some women to simply want to be far away from their babies. This doesn't make you a bad mom, but it does mean that there is a problem. Get medical help ASAP. This really is an urgent matter."That to me is much more productive than much of what has been said on this thread.And it is true, local moms and friends and family are much better able to give the tough love. They actually can have a relationship with her. We on the other hand are just people behind computers.
Owner:Cutie Tooties Cloth Diaperswww.cutietooties.comYES! You can cloth diaper TRIPLETS!



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kmrmommy
Fri Jan-18-08 10:44 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 412 posts

#324342, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 26

She is obviously going through a difficult time, as anyone in her situation would be. Maybe she can't express her true feelings to those close to her, but can anonymously to "people behind computers". She is obviously reaching out. When you get in such a deep depression, sometimes you can't see a way out and need a reality check!
SheriMommy to gggBorn 11/26/2004 @ 32 weeks 5 days



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VballPlayer
Fri Jan-18-08 10:41 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 950 posts

#324341, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 25

Sure, I mean, really, coming here and publically attacking this woman and telling her she needs help and telling her she's a bad mom for not visiting her babies - this coming from complete strangers who don't know her at all - that is going to help her, right? This thread is going to help her, right? Accusing her of being a faker and making her come here and prove herself after she just lost a baby is helping her right? Maybe she didn't want help from some of the members who offered her help because she has seen how they act towards other newcomers on this board?!Yes, I do agree that she needs to be more actively involved in her babies care and she probably does need to be on medication, but seriously, do you think these kind of threads serve any purpose to help someone? If you were a newbie and read a thread like this, you wouldn't feel abused and beaten down even more?We're not talking Sunshine and Roses, were talking about basic human kindness.
Carrieand the crew...Tyler 9/01 (6)and Noah 10/03(4)Andrew, Jason, and Tessa (2) 11/05



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NCtripmom
Fri Jan-18-08 10:48 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 329 posts

#324345, "RE: Feistylioness...."In response to Reply # 27

Isn't it basic human kindness to go see you own sick children? To be there for them, bond with them, talk to them, hold them if you can?Hopefully the SD moms can help her and I pray she accepts the help.



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