Subject: "the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together" Previous topic | Next topic
mauitripletmom
Fri Mar-16-07 03:44 PM
Member since Dec 15th 2006
38 posts
#264528, "the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
I have certainly been blessed with spontaneous triplets. God has been good to us as other IVF mothers as well. Unfortunately, when my family steps out into the world of the "PUBLIC" they boldly ask or say,"So are they spontaneous or natural or IVF." Or "Better you than me!" OUCH! what bold questions and comments! It got to the point where me and my husband had to explain our boys as,"Spontaneous identical triplets" to these ignorant people we meet in the market, on the street, etc, people who don't have multiples. It truely became second nature to us. If we have ever mentioned "Spontaneous or natural" it is because we've had to say that HUNDREDS of times to people who ask us those bold questions every time our family steps out the front door. We certainly don't say it to hurt anyone. An infertle mother should NEVER have to be bashed or belittled. Someone mentioned, "You don't have to say your boys are spontaneous..." First I thought, "Hey! I'm on your side!" Then I thought, "She's attacking my spontaneous triplets, MY BABIES!!" She probably thought, "She's attacking my IVF triplets." This miscommunication sparked the sensitivity we ALL have as mothers of multiples after the questions those without multiples ask us about OUR BABIES.I read Tiffany's post and I truely realize where she is comming from. I have endured COUNTLESS inappropriate questions and comments when I am out with my triplets, I can only imagine how those she mothers she mentioned would feel. As a spontaneous mother ever so happen to miscommunicate wit my wording, pull me to the side privately. A POST for all to read is so embarrassing for us who make mistakes out of not knowing we have, especially for us first time users. It's not a spontaneous vs IVF world, we are in this together. My family joined this thinking we are all equal - we all have triplets! As a former teacher I LOVE children, it doesn't matter how they're conceived. So the very notion of me differenciating my spontaneous triplets to and IVF concieved triplet hurt - I love children so much I would never do that especially since I already have to deal with crazy comments from pedestrians all the time. God bles!
IslandTrips
http://lilypie.com>
http://lilypie.com>
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Replies to this topic
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, mauitripletmom, Mar 16th 2007, #1
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, kylamel, Mar 16th 2007, #2
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, mauitripletmom, Mar 16th 2007, #6
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, madmolly, Mar 16th 2007, #9
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, mauitripletmom, Mar 16th 2007, #10
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, mauitripletmom, Mar 16th 2007, #12
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, bsebllmom9, Mar 16th 2007, #16
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, madmolly, Mar 16th 2007, #14
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, bsebllmom9, Mar 16th 2007, #17
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, JesTrips, Mar 16th 2007, #18
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, bsebllmom9, Mar 16th 2007, #3
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, mauitripletmom, Mar 16th 2007, #5
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, madmolly, Mar 16th 2007, #7
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, TiffaniRay, Mar 16th 2007, #4
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, mauitripletmom, Mar 16th 2007, #8
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, JesTrips, Mar 16th 2007, #11
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, bsebllmom9, Mar 16th 2007, #13
RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together, JesTrips, Mar 16th 2007, #15
mauitripletmom
Fri Mar-16-07 04:01 PM
Member since Dec 15th 2006
38 posts
#264554, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 0
sorry its not tiffany's post it was mad mollys, sorry tiffany didnt mean to mention ur name
IslandTrips
http://lilypie.com>
http://lilypie.com>
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kylamel
Fri Mar-16-07 05:57 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1478 posts
#264652, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 1
Again, you posted on an open/public forum and NOONE "bashed you". We simply responded to your question and included the "word" which is preferred on TC (by most, I guess) when referring to spontaneous triplets.
I personally didn't "bash" you. I made the point that no matter how your triplets were conceived their speech delays would be the same so including "natural" triplets didn't differentiate your triplets from mine (clomid babies). My response was not private or I would have pm'd you or not responded at all.
I guess you are not familiar with forums and you will get used to how it works. This is a great site where you will get a wealth of information. A thick skin helps!!!
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mauitripletmom
Fri Mar-16-07 06:19 PM
Member since Dec 15th 2006
38 posts
#264661, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 2
THICK SKIN U R RIGHT I HAVE NEVER BEEN ON THESE THINGS BEFORE. THIS MSG WASNT TO FIGHT W U - JUST TO MAKE PEACE AND YES THICK SKIN HELPS WHEN IT COMES TO COMMENTS!
IslandTrips
http://lilypie.com>
http://lilypie.com>
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madmolly
Fri Mar-16-07 06:24 PM
Member since Oct 07th 2005
1320 posts
#264667, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 6
Fri Mar-16-07 06:25 PM by madmolly
Okay, seriously? Take a freakin' breathe!! Lay off the crack and confine your posts to one message. Don't be a post whore! Nobody likes a post whore. LOL!
(I am making light, cause I am about to open a can of whoop ass on your loud butt!!! STOP SHOUTING!!! It's rude.)
Lea
bgg 1/22/06 @ 28.3 weeks
g 6/04 @ 34 weeks
g 7/99
g 6/97
www.thewaywardstork.com
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mauitripletmom
Fri Mar-16-07 06:26 PM
Member since Dec 15th 2006
38 posts
#264668, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 9
whore? that was not cool, by the way my family will never let u kick my ass i have a gigantic family and LOTS of back so back off
IslandTrips
http://lilypie.com>
http://lilypie.com>
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mauitripletmom
Fri Mar-16-07 06:28 PM
Member since Dec 15th 2006
38 posts
#264670, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 10
and i'll kick ur but hands down
IslandTrips
http://lilypie.com>
http://lilypie.com>
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bsebllmom9
Fri Mar-16-07 06:30 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2069 posts
#264677, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 12
OMG!!!!!! We can't make this #### up, can we???
Michelle
Ty~1-2-91~ 16
Steph~11-19-92~ 14
Ayden, Ryley, Dylan~33wk2d~11-16-04~ 2
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aydenryleydylan/
http://www.walkamerica.org/stuckeytriplets
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madmolly
Fri Mar-16-07 06:29 PM
Member since Oct 07th 2005
1320 posts
#264674, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 10
OH MY GAWD, I was trying to be light hearted so you could find a way down from your elevated dramatic position without losing face. I am not really a schmuck, the names were an attempt at humor.
Your pretty irritating. Could you shut up now?
Lea
bgg 1/22/06 @ 28.3 weeks
g 6/04 @ 34 weeks
g 7/99
g 6/97
www.thewaywardstork.com
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bsebllmom9
Fri Mar-16-07 06:31 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2069 posts
#264679, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 14
Watch out for the gigantic family and her dh...
Michelle
Ty~1-2-91~ 16
Steph~11-19-92~ 14
Ayden, Ryley, Dylan~33wk2d~11-16-04~ 2
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aydenryleydylan/
http://www.walkamerica.org/stuckeytriplets
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JesTrips
Fri Mar-16-07 06:32 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1214 posts
#264681, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 14
But Lea, you are a schmuck, you're my schmuck
"
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bsebllmom9
Fri Mar-16-07 06:02 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2069 posts
#264656, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 0
Get over it! No one was attacking your babies. No one was attacking you! We were correcting you on a term that is more polictically correct around here. Apparently from your above statements you already know the correct terminology to use since you tell all the people on the street that you have spontaneous triplets. So why not start out your visit with us and use the correct term? I'm confused by you...
Trust me when I say you aren't hurting my feelings and you sure as hell aren't hurting my petri dish babies!
Trust me also when I say that you aren't the reason for this spirited debate today. This has been going on longer than your babies have been around, so don't get all overinflated and think it's all about you today, mmm-kkk?
Michelle
Ty~1-2-91~ 16
Steph~11-19-92~ 14
Ayden, Ryley, Dylan~33wk2d~11-16-04~ 2
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aydenryleydylan/
http://www.walkamerica.org/stuckeytriplets
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mauitripletmom
Fri Mar-16-07 06:16 PM
Member since Dec 15th 2006
38 posts
#264660, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 3
THERE U 2 GO AGAIN! YOU GOT THIS MSG ALL WRONG AGAIN U 2 ARE SO GOOD AT THAT. THE MESSAGE WAS TO MAKE PEACE OUT OF THIS WHOLE THING IF U READ CAREFULLY U WOULD C THAT. THESE MSGS U 2 KEEP SENDING US IS GOING TOO FAR AND I AM GOING TO JANET ON THIS ONE. MY GOSH, I MAKE ONE MISTAKE W WORDING AND U JUST KEEP GOING AT IT WITH US. YOU ARE MEAN SPIRITED AND NO ONE IS TRYING TO DIFF OUR SPONTANEOUS BABIES FROM YOURS. MY POST WAS TO SAY THAT WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. DO YOU ENJOY FIGHTING W OTHER TRIPLET MOTHERS? THESE EMAILS U KEEP POSTNG FOR US- JES QUIT ALREADY AND TROW IN THE TOWEL AND PUT THEM BOXING GLOVES DOWN CUZ WE'RE ALL MOMS!
IslandTrips
http://lilypie.com>
http://lilypie.com>
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madmolly
Fri Mar-16-07 06:21 PM
Member since Oct 07th 2005
1320 posts
#264662, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 3
Oh, oh... I second Michelle. The debate had nothing to do with you. Don't scream anymore and use the preferred lingo and we can all play nice!!!
Or you can join me and be labelled a Schmuck! LOL!
Michelle, your gettin' uppity. If you keep this up, I am gonna have to ask you to assume the position! What, what?
Lea
bgg 1/22/06 @ 28.3 weeks
g 6/04 @ 34 weeks
g 7/99
g 6/97
www.thewaywardstork.com
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TiffaniRay
Fri Mar-16-07 06:14 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
3783 posts
#264659, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 0
Obviously, you are not reading the PMs/emails I am sending you and it is my understanding that Jeff has "spoken" with you as well.
*If* you would have came on the board and used the word SPONTANEOUS in the first place instead of NATURAL like you did, members would not have been offended but you did not. You used the word NATURAL as opposed to unnatural. You said "natural identical triplet boys" did you not? I am confused as well. It is also RUDE to type in all CAPS. I know I am the pot calling the kettle black by posting but I am not getting through to you in private.
Tiffani & Ray(NJ)
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mauitripletmom
Fri Mar-16-07 06:22 PM
Member since Dec 15th 2006
38 posts
#264663, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 4
TIFFANY THIS IS NOT FAIR. THESE 2 HAVE BEEN WRITING COMMENTS ON US ALL DAY. AND THEY JUST POSTED 2 MORE RUDE COMMENTS TO ME. I WROTE MY MSG FOR PEACE NOT THIS. WE ARE GOING TO JANET ON THIS ONE ITS GOING TOO FAR AND SEEMS U ARE ALL 3 AGAINST US!
IslandTrips
http://lilypie.com>
http://lilypie.com>
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JesTrips
Fri Mar-16-07 06:27 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1214 posts
#264669, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 8
No one is against you. Tiffani tried to contact you privately but you didn't respond.
The other ladies were not attacking you - the way I read it you drew first blood.
And again, you don't have to shout. ALL CAPS = SHOUTING
"
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bsebllmom9
Fri Mar-16-07 06:29 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2069 posts
#264672, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 11
Sorry, she can't hear you over all her yelling! Watch out, she'll tell Janet on you!!!!!
Michelle
Ty~1-2-91~ 16
Steph~11-19-92~ 14
Ayden, Ryley, Dylan~33wk2d~11-16-04~ 2
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aydenryleydylan/
http://www.walkamerica.org/stuckeytriplets
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JesTrips
Fri Mar-16-07 06:30 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1214 posts
#264676, "RE: the N word vs spontaneous - we're in this together"
In response to Reply # 13
Ok. I'll call Janet myself.
I'm a big girl, I can take it.
"
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