feistylioness78
Fri May-01-09 04:18 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
863 posts
#420017, "Upper GI?"
After Christian's not so good pedi visit he is scheduled for a Upper GI on wednesday. What should I expect? Thanks.
Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob
Born 11/04/07 at 26.5 weeks
Big brother Justin 8/04
http://www.myspace.com/346442072
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Replies to this topic
RE: Upper GI?, soccermom, May 01st 2009, #1
RE: Upper GI?, feistylioness78, May 02nd 2009, #3
RE: Upper GI?, MandieSue76, May 02nd 2009, #4
RE: Upper GI?, kylamel, May 02nd 2009, #7
RE: Upper GI?, akcmachine, May 02nd 2009, #5
RE: Upper GI?, akcmachine, May 02nd 2009, #6
ugi with sbft, feistylioness78, May 03rd 2009, #11
RE: Upper GI?, feistylioness78, May 03rd 2009, #9
RE: Upper GI?, LolasLadies, May 03rd 2009, #12
RE: Upper GI?, feistylioness78, May 03rd 2009, #13
RE: Upper GI?, kylamel, May 03rd 2009, #15
RE: Upper GI?, akcmachine, May 03rd 2009, #16
RE: Upper GI?, feistylioness78, May 04th 2009, #19
RE: Upper GI?, stephkessler, May 04th 2009, #20
RE: Upper GI?, feistylioness78, May 04th 2009, #25
RE: Upper GI?, tripletmom05, May 04th 2009, #22
RE: Upper GI?, feistylioness78, May 04th 2009, #26
RE: Upper GI?, Mama2five, May 04th 2009, #23
RE: Upper GI?, feistylioness78, May 04th 2009, #27
RE: Upper GI?, kylamel, May 04th 2009, #29
RE: Upper GI?, Laurie14, May 02nd 2009, #8
RE: Upper GI?, feistylioness78, May 03rd 2009, #10
RE: Upper GI?, sandsstone, May 04th 2009, #21
RE: Upper GI?, kylamel, May 04th 2009, #28
RE: Upper GI?, feistylioness78, May 05th 2009, #30
RE: Upper GI?, kylamel, May 05th 2009, #31
RE: Upper GI?, 4kds4me, May 05th 2009, #34
RE: Upper GI?, tripletmom05, May 05th 2009, #32
RE: Upper GI?, feistylioness78, May 05th 2009, #35
RE: Upper GI?, tripletmom05, May 05th 2009, #36
RE: Upper GI?, kylamel, May 05th 2009, #37
RE: Upper GI?, kylamel, May 02nd 2009, #2
RE: Upper GI?, 6 times blessed, May 03rd 2009, #14
RE: Upper GI?, feistylioness78, May 04th 2009, #18
RE: Upper GI?, TiffaniRay, May 04th 2009, #17
RE: Upper GI?, kathsmail22, May 04th 2009, #24
RE: Upper GI?, quick4, May 05th 2009, #33
soccermom
Fri May-01-09 11:09 PM
Member since Feb 22nd 2008
213 posts
#420113, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 0
What happened at his pedi appt? I'm sorry I can't help on the GI question. Let us know how it goes.
Karen
Mom to William, Patrick, and our Angel Hunter
7-14-08
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feistylioness78
Sat May-02-09 11:32 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
863 posts
#420155, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 1
Sat May-02-09 11:39 AM by feistylioness78
He lost three ounces. Two weeks before he gained 8 ounces. He is now labeled ftt and has been referred to the ftt clinic at children's. We finally have contact with a nutritionist. I will call her Monday. There are days where he won't eat much at all. One day he likes baby food and does not want bottle and then the next he likes his bottle and does not want baby food. I have given up on brushing his teeth because he is starting to develop and aversion. I know the GI is to check for any blockage he may have and for reflux to I believe the last time he had one of these he was still in the NICU. The good thing is that he rarely vommits now but he still is not gaining weight. He yo yo's between 17 and 18 pounds.
He also had a hearing test on thursday and that did not go well either. He did not want to have the probe in his ear at all. I even rocked him to sleep hoping that would help. Nope. So he has been referred to the professionals for that. Its hard to figure out which test is good for since we have no idea how poor his vision is.
We had Bren's Initial Inderdisciplinary Team Meeting on thursday as well. He can come home once he has 16 hours of nursing in place. He can start having home passes once we learn the vent.
Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob
Born 11/04/07 at 26.5 weeks
Big brother Justin 8/04
http://www.myspace.com/346442072
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MandieSue76
Sat May-02-09 12:40 PM
Member since Sep 09th 2008
999 posts
#420165, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 3
I thought you knew the vent already, and only needed to find a nurse who was vent trained???
Mandie
Mom to:
Come visit us at:
http://www.morethanweexpected.com & http://mandiemonium.blogspot.com
http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=89634874427&topic=813
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kylamel
Sat May-02-09 05:22 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2200 posts
#420192, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 4
Mandie - I'm right there with you. I thought she was all ready, but didn't have enough time for her son or wanted a job or people dont understand or something like that.
Melanie
BGB born at 32 weeks in 2005
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akcmachine
Sat May-02-09 12:58 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
844 posts
#420167, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 3
He can come home once he has 16 hours of nursing in place.
WOOOO HOOOOO!!!!
WOW...Congratulations, I am sure you will be jumping through all the hoops, cutting through all the red tape and advocating NON STOP to put those nurses in place. Come hell or high water that is what it takes....any idea of how many months this will take? I am sure there will be a long and frustrating waiting period before you can get everyone on board.
Let us know when you get the nurses in place and he is home so we can all give you the praise and encouragement your deserve. We are a network of caring and sharing for multiple birth families, right?
Helene, mom of Amanda, Mitchell, our trio: Eli, Natalie, and CJ the 28 weekers and Baby Charlotte
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akcmachine
Sat May-02-09 01:02 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
844 posts
#420168, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 5
Sorry, I got so jazzed about the nursing issue I forgot to post about the Upper GI=
My peanut has had two of them and so long as you are right there by his side through the prep, IV if needed, and recovery it is no big whoop. They swallow some barium contrast and have an x-ray, if they allow you in the room you will wear a vest to protect your possible unborn child from radiation harm, and help the techs hold him still on the table. Of course, the lower GI is far more invasive.
Helene, mom of Amanda, Mitchell, our trio: Eli, Natalie, and CJ the 28 weekers and Baby Charlotte
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feistylioness78
Sun May-03-09 01:17 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
863 posts
#420244, "ugi with sbft"
In response to Reply # 6
I got Christian's referral paperwork in the mail today and he is also getting a small bowel follow through.
Here is more info on it.
http://www.childrenshospital.org/az/Site1692/mainpageS1692P0.html
Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob
Born 11/04/07 at 26.5 weeks
Big brother Justin 8/04
http://www.myspace.com/346442072
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feistylioness78
Sun May-03-09 12:55 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
863 posts
#420242, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 5
Once a nursing agency decides to take the case it takes 30-60 days to finalize the paperwork. I am waiting to hear back from the nursing agencies. So far I have not heard anything from them. We have not learned the vent yet. We have to be trained through the agency providing the vent. The rt's can train on what we need to know for home visits.
Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob
Born 11/04/07 at 26.5 weeks
Big brother Justin 8/04
http://www.myspace.com/346442072
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LolasLadies
Sun May-03-09 02:09 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1787 posts
#420282, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 9
"I am waiting to hear back from the nursing agencies. So far I have not heard anything from them."
How about picking up the phone and calling them at least once or twice a week? Or more? We're talking about getting your son home, not waiting for a couch to be delivered. I would be hounding them so much they'd hustle to get the paperwork done just to get me off their backs!
Loren
GGG Jan.2005 @ 28wks
Sweetened Taters - http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com
Everything but the Kids - http://ebtk.activeboard.com
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feistylioness78
Sun May-03-09 02:18 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
863 posts
#420285, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 12
Right now its not about paperwork its about finding the nurses. They need to be given a little time to see if they can find available nurses. I do know how the process works. Can't get nurses if there aren't any available.
Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob
Born 11/04/07 at 26.5 weeks
Big brother Justin 8/04
http://www.myspace.com/346442072
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kylamel
Sun May-03-09 05:07 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2200 posts
#420305, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 13
But Feisty.. YOU wrote
" Once a nursing agency decides to take the case it takes 30-60 days to finalize the paperwork. I am waiting to hear back from the nursing agencies. So far I have not heard anything from them. We have not learned the vent yet. We have to be trained through the agency providing the vent. The rt's can train on what we need to know for home visits."
Now you say it is not about the paperwork? Do you have a short term memory issue or is it that you can't keep your stories straight? And I KNOW that you have posted that you were already trained on the vent in previous posts.
Listen, Octomom got nurses asap for her 8 little ones, why can't you? Sure, I know none of them require vents, BUT the point is.. she has the help.. oh and she does not have a baby daddy.. (not that we know of)
Melanie
BGB born at 32 weeks in 2005
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akcmachine
Sun May-03-09 09:52 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
844 posts
#420349, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 15
Wait...I am totally confused here, not that I am losing sleep over this but it is mildly annoying just the same. I don't understand what the hold up is...can you help me understand what nurse shortage you are talking about?
Do you mean that your son's homecoming is contingent on hiring a vent trained nurse? I know first hand that there are nurses willing and ready to work and they can be trained on new equiptment (Venitlators or even Heart Lung machines) in a matter a few days. I have personally hired home health care nurses on behalf of people on dialysis and assisted breathing devices. When nurses are qualified they can be ready to operate machinery within a matter of a few training hours or sessions. It is complicated but quite managable.
I would think that if his homecoming is dependent solely on the employment of in home health care staff that would be the easy part. The hard part would be finding the time between your job interviews, dealing with your step son, and that pesky three day a week employer of your baby's father. Not to be harsh, but what else do you have to do besides jump through all the hoops necessary to make it a reality? This is your job. Move mountains if you have to, your son is depending on you.
Helene, mom of Amanda, Mitchell, our trio: Eli, Natalie, and CJ the 28 weekers and Baby Charlotte
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feistylioness78
Mon May-04-09 11:45 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
863 posts
#420441, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 16
Again as I explained in another post. There are five agencies here. Bren is on Medi-cal/ CCS. Due to the economy and how poorly these insurances pay agencies can only take so many cases. So if they already have all the cases they can take then they will let us know when there is a spot open.
Please don't contradict me I do know what I am taking about. We are not trained on the vent and I do not remember saying I was. There are not many nurses that are vent certified. Once an agency has accepted Bren the the paperwork is sent to the state for approval and that can take 30-60 days. Last time it took 30. Of course octomom has support she has been in the media.
Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob
Born 11/04/07 at 26.5 weeks
Big brother Justin 8/04
http://www.myspace.com/346442072
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stephkessler
Mon May-04-09 11:57 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
525 posts
#420442, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 19
From your caring bridge site:
"After mommy and daddy did all their training I came home for a visist and it was great."
What training was this exactly???
Stephanie
http://kesslerfamily5timesthefun.blogspot.com/
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feistylioness78
Mon May-04-09 03:39 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
863 posts
#420541, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 20
Learning to care for g-tube, replace g-tube if pulled, cleaning, changing and doing trache. Administering feeds via g-tube. Giving meds via g-tube. Have not learned vent yet. Doing what to do if trache comes out. Suctioning trache. Giving Breathing treatments. The list goes one.
This explains pretty much everything http://www.tracheostomy.com/.
Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob
Born 11/04/07 at 26.5 weeks
Big brother Justin 8/04
http://www.myspace.com/346442072
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tripletmom05
Mon May-04-09 12:29 PM
Member since Apr 12th 2008
221 posts
#420456, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 19
Sorry... I just have to ask. Cant you use some of your inheritance to pay for some nursing care until medi-cal takes over? I agree with the PP that perhaps you should call your congressman and see what mountains they can move.
At the least, you can call those 5 agencies no less than weekly to make it known that you aren't going away. What county are you in? Im in a small county in northern CA, and we have more than 5 nursing agencies. Why do you have to stay within your county??
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feistylioness78
Mon May-04-09 03:41 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
863 posts
#420542, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 22
San Diego county. Still waiting for final distribution from trust.
Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob
Born 11/04/07 at 26.5 weeks
Big brother Justin 8/04
http://www.myspace.com/346442072
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Mama2five
Mon May-04-09 12:40 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
1189 posts
#420459, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 19
Things must be different in Cali. Here in PA welfare paid the BEST! I used to work for an internal med. doc and he LOVED the welfare folks because he actually got paid, compared to the HMO folks.
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feistylioness78
Mon May-04-09 03:44 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
863 posts
#420544, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 23
Really? Our medical only pays a portion of the cost.
Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob
Born 11/04/07 at 26.5 weeks
Big brother Justin 8/04
http://www.myspace.com/346442072
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kylamel
Mon May-04-09 04:29 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2200 posts
#420564, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 19
From one of your previous posts here on TC:
"I can't go reapply right now because we get dinged for having our income tax money in the bank."
How about using some of this income tax money to hire a private nurse to have YOUR BOY HOME!?!?!
"I able to provided for myself and the boys without working due to my inheritance, however I would like to work."
Again.. YOU write that you can provide for your boys through your inheritance...
So what IS the story here. You have the money but you dont want to spend it on your poor little boy who sits alone in a hospital?
Melanie
BGB born at 32 weeks in 2005
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Laurie14
Sat May-02-09 06:07 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
765 posts
#420197, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 3
Feisty,
You definitely do not want to stop oral care. Please have your occupational or speech therapist involved on this. There are many treatment strategies that can be used to help a child accept oral stimulation. Going without any touch or stimulation to the oral cavity can make his aversion even worse and more difficult to tolerate. Have your in home therapists worked with you on how to help prepare your son for acceptance of a toothbrush or even a damp wash cloth to the lips and then mouth? The oral aversion can also be a factor in the lack oral intake and subsequent poor weight gain. If a child does not like his mouth to be touched he also likely does not like food including food with textures in the oral cavity....
I saw photos of little Bren on your Myspace during his last home visit. He is such a cute and precious little guy...makes me want to go and pick the poor little guy and bring him to my home. Poor little pumpkin...
Laurie
BBB
2/20/04
34.6 weeks
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feistylioness78
Sun May-03-09 12:59 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
863 posts
#420243, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 8
He will eat and all that but he gets mad when we brush his teeth. The dr actually said to hold off on the teeth brushing for now. He will eat from a spoon once he knows what is on it.
Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob
Born 11/04/07 at 26.5 weeks
Big brother Justin 8/04
http://www.myspace.com/346442072
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sandsstone
Mon May-04-09 12:10 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
2211 posts
#420447, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 10
We had to wait with tooth brushing with our former FTT and oral aversion baby until around 1.75m (actual) and then she finally accepted it. Of course we meant mainly me and sometimes the nanny and a few sessions with a feeding therapist who simply said I was doing her job for her with all the exercises and methods I used. Anyway, we worked A LOT with her. Every game, every feeding, every cuddle, every diaper change was an opportunity. Hence she recovered from the severe oral aversion in about 4-6 months and most aversion in about 12m, but still does not let just anyone mess with her mouth. In any case, we had to wait for her to want to brush her teeth...and once that happened (mainly through peer pressure from sisters and having fun brushing mommy and dolly teeth) she does it consistantly.
As to the upper GI...no biggie, one of ours had one at around 34 weeks, and another had one at about 6m. The worst trouble we had is making sure the barrium does not constipate them. Anasthesia wasn't an issue, nor was not eating for a long time prior to surgery.
Susan
Parent to GGG born 31 weeks 4 days 4/26/07
http://www.sandsstone.com
http://www.thedivinemercy.org/message
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kylamel
Mon May-04-09 04:09 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2200 posts
#420558, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 21
An answer for everything!!! All of this inheritance money that you talk about but now it is not available..
Can we please not reply to these posts??please!!!
Melanie
BGB born at 32 weeks in 2005
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feistylioness78
Tue May-05-09 12:23 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
863 posts
#420695, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 28
In case you forgot Melanie. I have another child to provide for as well. I would not be able to afford private nursing care. I would have to have no less than four nurses. As I said before YOU can keep your opinions to YOUSELF!!!!
Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob
Born 11/04/07 at 26.5 weeks
Big brother Justin 8/04
http://www.myspace.com/346442072
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kylamel
Tue May-05-09 12:57 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2200 posts
#420703, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 30
"I" have not forgotten about your 2 little babies.
YOU wrote in one of your other threads "I able to provided for myself and the boys without working due to my inheritance, however I would like to work."
I just quoted what YOU put out there for everyone on TC to see. You can provide for yourself and your boys due to your inheritance.
Oh,and luv... if you post on here seeking comments, people will comment.
Melanie
BGB born at 32 weeks in 2005
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4kds4me
Tue May-05-09 02:27 PM
Member since Mar 29th 2007
820 posts
#420734, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 31
Tue May-05-09 02:29 PM by 4kds4me
Just wanted to toss in my .02 and not looking for any flames or negative comments. Or any comments for that matter.
Fiesty states that she can provide for herself and her boys with her inheritance, BUT the defination of "providing" is very broad. Dh's salary "provides" our family with general living needs, but there is no way we could afford private duty nursing. Perhaps what Fiesty meant is that the inheritence is sufficiant in taking care of their day to day basic living needs but not something as costly as private duty nursing? Just throwing that thought out there.
Because we do not know Fiesty IRL, it is hard for any of us to understand her exact circumstances.
And, if her posts make members uncomfortable or get under your skin, don't reply. Sit on your hands or vent your frustrations about it on a blog.
http://www.carepages.com/carepages/KatieBoo
***If you are interested in viewing Katie's Carepage, pm me your info!***
"You don't really know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have!!!"
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tripletmom05
Tue May-05-09 01:20 PM
Member since Apr 12th 2008
221 posts
#420711, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 30
Where is your man during all of this? If you can provide for yourself and the kids off of your inheritance, then his income should be able to go for these nurses. There is no excuse for a father to not help provide for his children in these circumstances.
Couldnt you move to a cheaper place to pay less rent and put that towards the nursing? These are just a couple thoughts of things I would do to get MY SON home. ALthough, my DH would be on the same page as me, and I wouldn't even have to ask.
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feistylioness78
Tue May-05-09 02:51 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
863 posts
#420747, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 32
If there father left and took his son with him I would only be supporting 3 instead of 5. He only works part time and I have been trying to get him to pick up hours but he hasn't he has taken 4 days off of work because he didn't feel good. If I don't feel good I am still expected to do everything. I did move into a smaller place. I did a short sale on my condo and now I am renting a house. I have posted ads looking for nurses and did not get a response. I would prefer to go through an agency because then I will know they are qualified.
Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob
Born 11/04/07 at 26.5 weeks
Big brother Justin 8/04
http://www.myspace.com/346442072
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tripletmom05
Tue May-05-09 03:56 PM
Member since Apr 12th 2008
221 posts
#420787, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 35
THEN BOOT HIM OUT! ThERE are NO free rides when you have a child that is going without! I dont get it. If that's the mindset that he has then what good is he anyways! How horrible to not want to better your life for you OWN child! Thats just completely unacceptable. Here in the real world, you don't just get to not work because you dont want to.
And as far as renting a house... Im sure the rents on houses are much more than rents on apts and condos. Houses are luxury. Your child being home should be the priority.
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kylamel
Tue May-05-09 04:47 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2200 posts
#420812, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 36
When will YOU people get it??/ She has ALL OF THE ANSWERS!!!!
Melanie
BGB born at 32 weeks in 2005
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kylamel
Sat May-02-09 09:07 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2200 posts
#420144, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 0
Will you be at the appt?
Melanie
BGB born at 32 weeks in 2005
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6 times blessed
Sun May-03-09 02:49 PM
Member since Dec 17th 2008
79 posts
#420286, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 0
what happened to your caringbridge link..........its not a complete address...it can't be viewed ?????
Stacey
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feistylioness78
Mon May-04-09 11:36 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
863 posts
#420439, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 14
It must have been cut off.
https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/brenny
https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/feistylioness78
Our little angel
^Alex Joseph^ (11-4/11-5)
Brennan Matthew
Christian Jacob
Born 11/04/07 at 26.5 weeks
Big brother Justin 8/04
http://www.myspace.com/346442072
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TiffaniRay
Mon May-04-09 08:32 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
4089 posts
#420397, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 0
I would be contacting my Congressperson so darn fast that, well you know.
http://www.house.gov/htbin/zipfind
If you don't do it, I'm sure one of us will.
Tiffani & Ray(NJ)
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kathsmail22
Mon May-04-09 12:44 PM
Member since Feb 18th 2008
181 posts
#420462, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 0
2 of our girls had an upper GI. they drink barium from a bottle. The tech rolls the baby laying on the table in different directions while taking x-ray to see where the barium is going and if there are any obstructions or reflux. It was a very simple process for the babies. They let me stand there and feed them the bottle and while they were taking x-rays. Hope that helps! Good luck with everything and take care!
34 weeks - July 24, 2008
Abigail Rose - 4.8 lbs - 0 NICU
Brianna Renee' - 4.1 lbs - 9 NICU
Cecelia May - 2.10 lbs (IUGR) - 22 NICU
" "
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quick4
Tue May-05-09 02:03 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007
490 posts
#420723, "RE: Upper GI?"
In response to Reply # 0
Dear Feisty and fans,
I just want to say that my heart breaks everytime I scan one of these posts. I do not know you, I have been here for all of the information that has been shared. Everytime there is a "situation" here on TC, I wonder what would make someone hate themselves so much that they would come here and be rediculed the way that you are.
Then I think what would it be like if I had found out I was expecting triplets in a less than stable relationship...would I be overjoyed by the lives growing inside of me? I am in a good and stable marriage and wanted these babies so much, still, panic was right around the corner. What if, as I worried would happen everytime I felt a twinge or had a negative thought about what my life would turn into, the worst of the worst happened and I went into preterm labor. Of course you could have lost all of your babies, maybe not have carried them at all...Then I think, what if I for even a second was given the hope of survival of these tiny micro preemies, falling in love instantly hoping for just hours for a reasonable outcome...
Then what if one of my children died. Even after only one single touch, how would I ever in any world carry on? Would I "buck up" and go on and take care of those other kids? I can't imagine I could. Then, after months of surgeries and intensive care and not ever believing that the others would survive, I would take just one small frail child home. I was terrified to take my daughter home after just 9 days because I was sure she would stop breathing and die, in my house without medical help. I can see that knowing that my severely needy child is in a place where people have the physical and mental fortitude to meet his needs would be slightly more manageable than worrying about losing another. Then I think of the stress all of this would put on my marriage, where would the time come from to work on that essential foundation?
I know you have written of grief, depression, your relationship and much of your other personal business, but all I see here is a deep sense of self hatred. I do not know how you, a woman, a mother, will survive this without getting yourself some serious help.
I wish this for you, so that you can love your children and yourself to the best of your capacity, as you all deserve.
Stephanie
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