Subject: "Why fakers should be outed publicly" First topic | Next topic
Tasha
Sun Oct-28-07 10:20 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1441 posts
#307845, "Why fakers should be outed publicly"
I know some feel it should be swept under the rug and dealt with quietly when someone is faking. But as we have seen with this recent faker our member may not have discovered her photos were being used on at least 2-3 other sites if not for comparing notes with other members.
I also have to wonder if people who want it kept quiet weren’t around for “Mandy”. She not only faked and emotionally drained some members, she coned hundreds of dollars in cash and baby items. She was able to do this because she didn’t do it publicly on TC. She started email friendships off the board. She talked about her financial troubles publicly but kept the gifts and friendships off the board. She was brought to my attention in a yahoo group by another member who noticed many contradiction and thought she was a fake before people were sending her gifts. But the backlash of calling out fakers was so bad nobody wanted to say anything and she continued on unchecked. It wasn’t until two members sending her gifts shared notes and one was brave enough to publicly say it that the true scope of how many she was scamming came out. Had she been banned quietly she could have continued scamming.
Some of these fakers may be harmless and just attention seekers. But they can become so much more. Here is a story of one woman’s almost 2 year emotional online con. It is very long but an interesting read. Her friends did a great thing going public and sharing the woman’s name and picture to hopefully help others not be hurt.
http://www.laweekly.com/news/news/the-life-and-death-of-jesse-james/17427/?page=1
I am not saying we should go accusing people based on a feeling or without cause. But if you have hard proof (like they are using your kids photos) then yes call a spade and spade. Warn others because you never know what is being done in private messages. And if members looking out for members is so offensive to a legitimate new mom that they don’t want to return. Well, I don’t see it as much of a loss.
Tasha
Julia, Megan & Alex 7/00 at 30 weeks
Abby 12/02
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Replies to this topic
RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly, Triplethefun04, Oct 28th 2007, #1
RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly, MSTAR, Oct 28th 2007, #2
RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly, catybarra, Oct 28th 2007, #3
RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly, the ryan clan, Oct 29th 2007, #4
RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly, chrissy92972, Oct 29th 2007, #5
RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly, Tasha, Oct 29th 2007, #11
RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly, NCtripmom, Oct 29th 2007, #6
RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly, tripmom15, Oct 29th 2007, #7
RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly, Triplethefun04, Oct 29th 2007, #8
RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly, Tasha, Oct 29th 2007, #12
RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly, BrookeFl, Oct 29th 2007, #9
RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly, pixilee, Oct 29th 2007, #10
Triplethefun04
Sun Oct-28-07 10:24 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
304 posts
#307847, "RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly"
In response to Reply # 0
Well said Tasha and thank you for posting that link. Crazy!!
Michelle
(formerly known as bsebllmom9 )
Tyler 16.5
Steph 14.5
Ayden, Ryley & Dylan 2.5 years!
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MSTAR
Sun Oct-28-07 10:44 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1222 posts
#307848, "RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly"
In response to Reply # 0
I can't imagine why anyone would be against publicly outing someone who has stolen photos of other people's children and then have tried to pass them off as their own. I would be on here shouting from the rooftops if someone stole my photos. As the person said in the other post, they pay their member's dues to be part of this website. That money is why this website is here, in addition to the outstanding job and dedication of the founders. But as a member who PAYS MONEY to this organization, they have the right to protect their family members from psychopaths that come on here and pretend to have triplets to milk money and gifts from upstanding members and to do WHO KNOWS WHAT ELSE????
I say if someone has stolen your pictures, then by ALL MEANS get the word out. There is power in being open about it, because it steals THEIR power. To say it shouldn't be brought to the attention of the members here is stupid. We really are a small community, despite our numbers. Those of us that are active on the internet and blog, etc. all know each other and help each other out whenever these things occur. Keep up the good work ladies!
Michele
Sarah, Gregory, Amanda
born 1/22/04 at 35w1d
Our surprise baby Austin born 06/15/2005
www.fourtimesthefun.blogspot.com
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catybarra
Sun Oct-28-07 10:49 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
737 posts
#307849, "RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly"
In response to Reply # 2
Sun Oct-28-07 10:53 PM by catybarra
Hey Michele, can you call me if you see this tonight?
Thanks!
Here is the blog of Audrey:
http://pieceofcakey.blogspot.com/
Here is some footage of them confronting the whacko!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmPDGZPnYl0
Enjoy the trainwreck.
I totally agree that people who have been proven fake need to be announced to the world. Yes, there are a few that are harmless, but there are some who are not!
I was accused of faking triplets when I was preggo. There was no proof, someone just didn't buy my ultrasound pics because they looked different from hers and the fact that I was having difficulties with one of mine. There was no proof. If you have the proof, they have a right to have their name out for everyone to see.
Cathy
Come visit us at http://www.leighaandthetriplets.blogspot.com/
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the ryan clan
Mon Oct-29-07 05:16 AM
Member since Sep 07th 2007
47 posts
#307864, "RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly"
In response to Reply # 0
I was accused of being a faker when I first posted, I must say I was shocked and to be quite honest offended. I agree if there is hard proof that someone is faking then "out" them, but don't assume someone is a faker because their experience was different from yours.
-Olivia
BBB 15/6/07 36+2
Clancy, Will & Tom
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chrissy92972
Mon Oct-29-07 06:38 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1287 posts
#307866, "RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly"
In response to Reply # 4
Don't forget about the faker GraceVA. She was a piece of work also. That was along time ago though. I have been around for 5 plus years and have seen so many fakers come and go.
Chrissy
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Tasha
Mon Oct-29-07 09:35 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1441 posts
#307891, "RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly"
In response to Reply # 5
Oh yes Grace and her husband Steve his deceased wife Pam and unborn child who were killed in a plane crash. Oh the drama. Why is it that I get my friends kids names all mixed up but I can remember so many details of the faker dramas? I must admit I am a drama whore I guess. Plus I didn't like either of her personalities from the get go because their sig lines were just way over the top. I mean really do we need THAT much info about you in every post? I think it was her way of keeping herself straight.
Tasha
Julia, Megan & Alex 7/00 at 30 weeks
Abby 12/02
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NCtripmom
Mon Oct-29-07 06:45 AM
Member since Apr 03rd 2007
228 posts
#307867, "RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly"
In response to Reply # 4
But you got over it right? You were big girl enough to stick around.
Some of us have become quite jaded and take longer to warm up to new comers - I hope you can somewhat understand that.
The faker mentioned in the OP did far more than take money & gifts from people. She was speaking w/ two seperate members off forum and they were planning to adopt her 'twins'. The emotional hell she put these people through is far worse than stealing anyone's money.
So in order to prevent another 'Mandy' I say call them out! There may be times that we are wrong - lets face it - some of our lives are stranger than fiction.
Tasha, thanks for posting this. I'll never understand why someone wants to fake having multiples.
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tripmom15
Mon Oct-29-07 06:57 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1120 posts
#307868, "RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly"
In response to Reply # 0
When one has the appropriate proof, there is nothing wrong with a post (preferably from a moderator or manager) that states to the world that the person has been discovered as a faker. What becomes objectionable is the back and forth, name calling that can start when that person attempts to defend themselves and others (not knowing the facts) defend them. It degrades into a war and results in even more (unnecesarily) hurt feelings.
I believe that working with the moderators and management - and having an appropriate "sticky" post that's left up for a few days that lets everyone know that a faker has been exposed (with evidence), banned and not to have further contact - give gifts whatever would be a fitting end to such a debacle.
Hashing and rehashing it here with anger and raw feelings only serves to keep tensions high and people upset. Just my opinion.
Susan
Alison, Anna & Morgan
g/g/g Triplets born 1/25/05
at 32 weeks, 2 days
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Triplethefun04
Mon Oct-29-07 07:06 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
304 posts
#307869, "RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly"
In response to Reply # 7
Mon Oct-29-07 07:07 AM by Triplethefun04
Have a sticky or a public announcement is a really great idea!! I really wish the moderators on this board would think of that each time a faker is discovered! But sadly, no, we don't get that around here. They are quietly swept away unless the ones involved with the faker come out and talk about it and then we may get lucky to have an explaination...
Some say don't give them the attention they're seeking. I say announce it to the world that this person is a creep and a loser and that we aren't going to sit back and tolerate them pretending to be something they aren't!
I remember Grace (the woman that was widowed and married a widower, right??) from another board. She spread her story around. She got to a lot of people. They believed her, trusted her to be who she says she is. Does that seem fair? I was here for Mandy and I fell for her story and even tried to help her...so that was personal for me. This latest one was using photos from someone that posts here!!! How dumb is that?? She tried to use my kids names to gain access to a private email group - how crazy would that have been had she gotten in?? I'm sure she wouldn't last long since she obviously had no brain capacity to keep her story straight. I'm sure you see what I'm talking about.
Fakers need to be publicly brought to our attention for the sake of all members, since like someone else said - you never know who that faker is talking to behind the scenes!!
Sure some innocent people get caught in the middle, that's unfortunate, but sometimes it happens. If you can prove who you say you are - great! If you can't - bye-bye!
Sometimes the mods are busy and can't get to it fast enough. So the ones that have discovered the information should share with the rest of us and like what just happened - the faker story was out there in other internet sites and goodness knows what other sites her "story" is on...
It's just sad and disturbing...
Michelle
(formerly known as bsebllmom9 )
Tyler 16.5
Steph 14.5
Ayden, Ryley & Dylan 2.5 years!
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Tasha
Mon Oct-29-07 09:49 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1441 posts
#307892, "RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly"
In response to Reply # 7
But that emotional banter is about community healing. Talking about and working through feelings. I understand if you don't feel it is necessary for you. There have been many faker dramas here that I have not been effect by and not weighted in on either. But some who do get taken in by a faker (either having their info stolen, a friendship based on a lie, scammed out of money) quietly letting it go isn't how they deal with it. Some need to vent to and with friends, with the community they come to when they have questions and need help. I don't think they should be denied that part of the healing process. After all we understand their feeling here, where as friends and family in real life may not.
At one time their was a FAQ about fakers at the the top of the page. Seeing how insidious some fakers have been to members of our community may make newbies more understanding if they come in to members upset about a faker. But again if members helping/standing up for members is so upsetting to a newbie that they don't want to come back, where is the loss?
Tasha
Julia, Megan & Alex 7/00 at 30 weeks
Abby 12/02
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BrookeFl
Mon Oct-29-07 07:26 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005
1447 posts
#307873, "RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly"
In response to Reply # 0
I say call them out.
I think contacting a mod. 1st would be best, then go for it!
I know behind my back people have called me a faker. Nobody has EVER contacted me regarding this issue, but IF they would have I may have been a tad bit upset that some cyberpeople didnt believe me, but I get the internet! You dont know anyone!
IF a mod. or someone would have said, ok, people think you are a faker please showproof so that we can insure to others on the board you are safe etc.... then I would have had NO PROBLEM showing proof.
Almost 2 years ago my family went through a VERY hard time finacially and a lot of TC members sent tons of clothes, some even food and money!! Although I NEVER asked anyone to do it, I was so greatful and will NEVER EVER forget what they did for me!
I thankfully got out of all those money problems within about 6 months and we are doing great now.
But I think those people had a right to know I was real and not fake.
I was around for the Mandy thing and even I was considering helping her out (this was around my struggles as well). Thankfully I did not.
A very close friend of mine did send things and help her out, it hurt her so much.
I am glad someone finally called her out, just wish it would have been done sooner to help others who sent her things.
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pixilee
Mon Oct-29-07 08:43 AM
Member since Oct 25th 2005
1376 posts
#307883, "RE: Why fakers should be outed publicly"
In response to Reply # 0
I for one am glad I have all you detectives types watching my back.
Jonna
Daylan 13
Austin 9
Abegail (Stillborn Angel 4/16/05)
Jackson, Ella, Landon 1/10/06 @ 27 wks
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