Feisty March 28 2008 "It Never Ends"

feistylioness78
Fri Mar-28-08 08:48 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 400 posts

#339921, "It never ends"

Brennan had his hernia fixedlast friday and was doing well until monday. They needed to go up on his oxygen and he continued to go downhill. They called me wednesday and he was doing even worse. Theyfound out today he has a staph infection and pnemonia. So hewill not get his trach anytime soon. He will be on antibiotics for seven more day and then they may schedule him for his trach. He is beingweaned off of his paralytic and has been waking up. He is isolation and to be with him your need to wear a mask and gown.His last weight that I know of was 5.7 lbs. He ishooked up to so many machines and has so many tubes.He is still on NO2. They thought one reason he washaving a hard time with oxygen was because his airwaywas collasping but his airway is fine. We have another family meeting on the 2nd.Christian had his CT on wed. He did very well and did not need to be drugged. When I got to the car his side was blocked because somebody decided to back their car in instead of parking normal so I had to load him on my side. Just as I had finished putting him in I heard them calling my name over the intercom. The radiologist had looked at the scan and wanted the neurosurgeon to look at before I left. His ventricles were enlarged. His head was 41 on the 10th and is now 44.5. I think they only let him come home because he has a appointment on the first with neurosurgery and he is showing no signs of increased pressure. So he will be scheduled for either a shunt or a reservoir. We are hoping that they will do what they did last time and then put a reservoir in especially since it worked until it got infected. I just know shunts can cause so many problems. I just hope that Brennan doesn't get scheduled the same week. Does it ever end and does it ever get better?Last week he had his appointment with the new ped but they scheduled him with a NP instead but she as really nice. Christian scared the crap out of her though because she deals with older babies with minimal problems. She wants to shadow the ped so that she can eventually take care Christian by herself. She as so concerned about him that she called neurosurgery so update them on him and she also called on her own time to check on him and to make sure I knew what to do if he started showing signs. She even gave me her cell number just in case. He probably won't go back until after his surgery. I have no idea how long he will have to be in the hospital. They house will be empty without him here. Any advice on how to handle this?I finally broke down and called the dr to put me back on my prozac. The downside to that is I needed to agree to follow up with her or a psychiatrist our she wouldn't prescribe it. So that is more money that we will have to pay since I don't have insurance. After I talked to her I looked at my old prescription and realized I still had refills and they had just expired. So I was a little peeved about that I think the cost would have been around a 100 dollars but it would have been a 4 month supply, because I could have cut the prescription in half. But oh well can't dwell on it now. Please keep us all in your thoughts. Thanks
Big brother Justin 8/04Our little angel ^Alex Joseph^ 1.2 (11-4/11-5)Brennan Matthew 1.3Christian Jacob 2.4Born 11/04/07http://www.myspace.com/346442072



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top

Replies to this topic

RE: It never ends, HOWMANY, Mar 28th 2008, #1 RE: It never ends, feistylioness78, Mar 28th 2008, #3 RE: It never ends, Tripsgram, Mar 28th 2008, #2 RE: It never ends, Dani257969, Mar 29th 2008, #4 RE: It never ends, hardentriplets, Mar 29th 2008, #5 RE: It never ends, sarahandrich, Mar 29th 2008, #6 RE: It never ends, cmy36s, Mar 29th 2008, #7 RE: It never ends, kylamel, Mar 29th 2008, #8 RE: It never ends, SunshineAnn, Mar 29th 2008, #9 RE: It never ends, kimpriester, Mar 29th 2008, #10 RE: It never ends, LolasLadies, Mar 29th 2008, #11 RE: It never ends, jonib, Mar 30th 2008, #12 RE: It never ends, franjipani, Mar 30th 2008, #13 RE: It never ends, feistylioness78, Mar 30th 2008, #14 RE: It never ends, jonib, Mar 30th 2008, #15 RE: It never ends, feistylioness78, Mar 30th 2008, #17 RE: It never ends, jonib, Mar 30th 2008, #18 RE: It never ends, 3petes, Mar 30th 2008, #19 RE: It never ends, 3petes, Mar 30th 2008, #22 RE: It never ends, 4kds4me, Mar 31st 2008, #47 RE: It never ends, lovemy5boys, Mar 30th 2008, #21 RE: It never ends, MMM26, Mar 30th 2008, #23 RE: It never ends, feistylioness78, Mar 30th 2008, #25 RE: It never ends, NCtripmom, Mar 30th 2008, #27 RE: It never ends, feistylioness78, Mar 30th 2008, #29 RE: It never ends, NCtripmom, Mar 30th 2008, #30 RE: It never ends, MMM26, Mar 30th 2008, #34 RE: It never ends, k3triplets, Mar 31st 2008, #37 RE: It never ends, Mama2five, Mar 31st 2008, #39 RE: It never ends, feistylioness78, Mar 31st 2008, #40 RE: It never ends, chrissy92972, Mar 31st 2008, #41 RE: It never ends, feistylioness78, Mar 31st 2008, #51 RE: It never ends, Tasha, Mar 31st 2008, #52 RE: It never ends, NCtripmom, Mar 31st 2008, #42 RE: It never ends, NCtripmom, Mar 31st 2008, #43 RE: It never ends, gkm15099, Mar 30th 2008, #28 RE: It never ends, feistylioness78, Mar 30th 2008, #32 RE: It never ends, 3petes, Mar 30th 2008, #16 RE: It never ends, franjipani, Mar 30th 2008, #31 RE: It never ends, feistylioness78, Mar 30th 2008, #33 RE: It never ends, azwallace, Mar 30th 2008, #35 RE: It never ends, feistylioness78, Mar 31st 2008, #36 RE: It never ends, kylamel, Mar 31st 2008, #53 RE: It never ends, ourtriplets06, Mar 30th 2008, #20 RE: It never ends, akcmachine, Mar 30th 2008, #24 RE: It never ends, Tasha, Mar 30th 2008, #26 RE: It never ends, anxiousabuela, Mar 31st 2008, #38 RE: It never ends, CindyB, Mar 31st 2008, #44 RE: It never ends, Tarahp, Mar 31st 2008, #45 RE: It never ends, DebM, Mar 31st 2008, #46 RE: It never ends, carrieroberts, Mar 31st 2008, #48 RE: It never ends, feistylioness78, Mar 31st 2008, #50 RE: It never ends, HOWMANY, Mar 31st 2008, #49 RE: It never ends, kittyln, Mar 31st 2008, #54


HOWMANY
Fri Mar-28-08 09:28 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 1195 posts

#339930, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

Feisty,If you want feel free to contact me at my e-mail address below. Not the one attached to the site it doesn't exsit anymore. dancinpixy@yahoo.comI had some similar circumstances with my son. He was NO2 and the vent for a long time and ended up with a trach. My son also had trouble with anesthia(sp) when he had his surgeries.Was the hernia repair an emergency thing?? I'm a bit surprised they would do an elective procedure with him on the NO2.Does your peed office have experience with micro preemies and multiples?? It concerns me to hear you were seen by a NP. She does seem to be on top of your case, but lack of expertise should be a concern here.It's good your getting back on your meds. I had to go back on prozac about a month after mine were born. If your pumping or breastfeeding you may want to stop. There are some side effects for the babies that I didn't want to chance with mine and the NICU doc advised me to NOT give the kids my breast milk any longer while on the meds. So make sure you look into that.I know there is a network or something that can help you get your Rx meds. Hopefully someone else here can supply you with that info.Hang in there! The first two years were a blur of doc appt's and everything else. Things will settle down and then you won't know what to do with yourself and all that time.AmyWife to Jason(pixelpusher)Mom to Gwynne, Connor, Chloe 11/03/03 25wks 1daywww.caringbridge.org/visit/connorferrishttp://lilypie.com>



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


feistylioness78
Fri Mar-28-08 10:54 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 400 posts

#339945, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 1Fri Mar-28-08 10:56 PM by feistylioness78

It wasn't an emergency. The dr saw them and they were quite impressed on how big they were. He had them for quite awhile. My son is a special case that's for sure. He keeps everyone on their toes. I gave up breast feeding a long time ago. I never got enough.
Big brother Justin 8/04Our little angel ^Alex Joseph^ 1.2 (11-4/11-5)Brennan Matthew 1.3Christian Jacob 2.4Born 11/04/07http://www.myspace.com/346442072



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


Tripsgram
Fri Mar-28-08 09:50 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 384 posts

#339934, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

No advice here, but please know your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted on the boys' progress.



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


Dani257969
Sat Mar-29-08 09:15 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 225 posts

#339982, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I can't think of anything worse than what you are experiencing. I know how helpless I felt when Logan was in the NICU. I will keep you and both boys in my prayers. As for your insurance issues, are there any clinics in your area? We have medical clinics here that are income-based with a sliding scale program. My brother is an addict and essentially homeless and he gets his doctors visits and meds for about a tenth of the cost. Maybe that is something you can look in to. HTH.DanielleMommy to:Alexandra 4/02Sara 3/05Erin, Ryan and Logan 8/07 @ 36.1 weeksshare.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AbOWzFm3YtmH_



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


hardentriplets
Sat Mar-29-08 09:48 AM
Member since Feb 27th 2008 132 posts

#339987, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

I just wanted you to know how truly sorry I am things have been so ruff. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
*MAGGIE*Proud Momma X 3!!!-Brody Paul 3lbs 10oz-Logan Dean 4lbs-Seth Franklin 2lbs 9ozhttp://www.babyblogs.com/hardentriplets



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


sarahandrich
Sat Mar-29-08 10:31 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 59 posts

#339992, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

HiI'm sorry to hear that you are having so many problems. I pray that your boys will be okay.The only thing that I can tell you is that my daughter has had a shunt since she was a week old - she's almost a year old now - and we have not had any issues. I was extremely nervous at first but it is not as scary as you think.Sarah
Parents to spontaneous identical triplets born 4/12/07 at 35 weeks, 6 days:Alicenne Hope - 5 lbs, 3 ozAnna Abigail - 4 lbs, 13 ozEmily Blessing - 4 lbs, 13 oz



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


cmy36s
Sat Mar-29-08 01:11 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 42 posts

#340025, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

I am sorry you are going through so much right now. I just wanted to say that my son Jacob has had a shunt since he was born and he has done wonderful. He is now 8 years old and has never had an issue with it. He has no developmental delays or cp. I was very worried about it because I knew nothing about it but I just wanted to give you some encouragement. A shunt doesn't have to mean problems. I hope all goes well with your boys and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


kylamel
Sat Mar-29-08 03:07 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 1830 posts

#340034, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 7

I have no advice. I hope that you are visiting your little boy in the NICU or, at the VERY least, calling every day to check in on him. Also, on the shunt issue, my good friend has spina bifida and is 32 and has a shunt since she was a baby w/out ANY issues other than them having to extend it when she got older.
MelanieBGB born at 32 weeks in 2005



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


SunshineAnn
Sat Mar-29-08 05:38 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 952 posts

#340042, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

On the doctor issue... are you going to your peri for the Prozac? My peri gave me the same stuff about how I'd have to go to a psychiatrist before he'd prescribe it again (after the 3 month Rx he'd given me at first). Ok who has time to do that and why give it to me in the first place? Anyway, I just went to a regular MD and he has prescribed them for me ever since. I even changed drs and the new one just put in the refill. No psychologists needed. Can they not figure out why you need it?! hello!!! Get a new doctor!!! That will be one stress you won't have to deal with!
AnnBBG born 7/7/0333 weeks 3 days



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


kimpriester
Sat Mar-29-08 05:44 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 144 posts

#340043, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

Hey Valerie,I believe it will get better. Brennan and Christain are FIGHTING MIRACLE BABIES who will thrive. They will be eating you out of house and home before you know it. I truly believe this. Maybe you should see a shrink. I wish I had time to see one. As far as money, I know there are many programs out there. You may have to see a social worker but they normally work under a doc so medicines can be prescribed.Ask the hospital or call your local health department for a refferal. Do It sister. You really owe it to yourself. When anyone from a state agency heres your story I bet they will jump at the chance to help. Good luck and you are in our prayers as always. keep us posted. Kim
KimGGB born at 31.4weeks

Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


LolasLadies
Sat Mar-29-08 06:20 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 642 posts

#340051, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 10

I think you said you aren't working right now, but are you on leave from a job? Does your SO have a job? If so, they might have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) which *usually* pays for up to three sessions with a therapist. It would be worth looking into.
Lola's GGG 28-weekersThe world's least triplet-related triplet blog: http://sweetenedtaters.blogspot.com



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


jonib
Sun Mar-30-08 06:11 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 822 posts

#340091, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

The most important thing you can do is be at that NICU every single day. Why wait until the 2nd for a family meeting? Push the dr's for the help you need, the questions you have and the things you don't understand.If you are ever present, you can't be ignored and you will seek out the info versus waiting for them to give it to you.
JonibAbby, Andy and Caroline turned 2 Nov. 20th!Rhett turns 10 12/15!no, I can't get the lily pie to work



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


franjipani
Sun Mar-30-08 06:40 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 1746 posts

#340094, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

throughout our triplets nicu stay we were required to wear masks and gowns. it is a bit uncomfortable at first, but soon becomes part of your nicu routine. don't let it put you off visiting, if anything the masks prevent your germs from spreading to brennan.you must be seeing the nurses if not the drs every day, why don't you ask them what the meeting will be about on the 2nd so you are prepared for it? (ie: if you know what their main concerns are, you will have counter questions, have had a chance to research treatments and meds so you can ask questions about them then.) go into the meeting informed. tell the nurse today you would like to know the specific issues that are to be discussed. while you may not be meant to be looking at his chart, ask for test results that are relevant, have your nicu notebook and write them down.you mentioned that the house will seem empty without Christian, when jasper was hospitalised a few months after release with pneumonia, i slept in the hospital and basically lived there with him. or if i wasn't there, then dh was. the hospital will have a pull out bed for you so you can spend the nights and days with Christian. he has bonded with you and it would be frightening for him to be alone in the hospital without you, so to answer your question - go wtih him to the hospital. you'll feel better because you'll be able to watch his recovery, he'll recover faster because you are there.it probably a very good move that you are back on proac, you had proven positive results when you are on it. we don't have insurance either, but i did see a counsellor after our triplets were out of hospital and it was money well spent. it improved my parenting and happiness dramatically. so yes, it is a cost, but the results will be so positive.tessmummy to 6yr old ds & the triumverate born 2004"the days are slow but the years fly by quickly"



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


feistylioness78
Sun Mar-30-08 06:10 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 400 posts

#340141, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 13

We have a meeting every two weeks to keep us more up to date and to meet with Brennan's dr's. Its more in depth. I still can't go everyday because the NICU is closed to anyone under 18. When I don't go I get updates daily. I don't know how it will work when Christian goes in because the boys will be at different hospitals. Going to the hospital is sometimes too much to bare especially since Brennan has been on the vent. I feel like he will never be home and then to have Christian home only for him to go back into the hospital and not knowing how long he will be there. I would sleep over night at the hospital but I am not sure how that will work with DH's schedule. We can get some help from family but they are limited because they have lives to. I have to find some way to make it work without causing more stress at home. I just wish I could wave a magic wand and everything would be perfect.
Big brother Justin 8/04Our little angel ^Alex Joseph^ 1.2 (11-4/11-5)Brennan Matthew 1.3Christian Jacob 2.4Born 11/04/07http://www.myspace.com/346442072



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


jonib
Sun Mar-30-08 07:35 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 822 posts

#340155, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 14

dh's schedule should focus around what your children that are hospitalized and soon to be hospitalized require and that is time from both of you. If your stepchild has family willing to help, that is where he needs to be and you need to be at the hospital 24/7.Going back into the hospital for surgery is not like being in the NICU, there is no nurse assigned to your child, the staff expects you to be there for that. Do you really want your child left alone in a room because you don't want to "cause more stress at home"? or because family "have lives to"? Where is the focus here?Going to the NICU might be "too much to bare", but honey, I'm just being honest with you...this is your responsibility. It's been said before by others, but step up to the plate and take care of your children. I don't know why I can't just ignore your posts, I get so fired up at your lack of understanding of HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE TO YOUR CHILDREN AND HOW MUCH THEY NEED YOU. This is NOT about you right now, you have plenty of time to post your "medical lingo" and detail your other issues...go take care of your children.I'm not sorry if this sounds harsh, I will work hard not to respond to any more of your posts, but the excuses of not being at the nicu as well as not being with your other son for surgery make my blood boil...I simply don't get it, but I hope eventually will. I'll certainly pray for a good outcome and hope to God that there are others that can step in since you are far from ready.
JonibAbby, Andy and Caroline turned 2 Nov. 20th!Rhett turns 10 12/15!no, I can't get the lily pie to work



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


feistylioness78
Sun Mar-30-08 09:02 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 400 posts

#340169, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 15

We can only do what we can with the resources we have. Grandma works and Auntie does as to as well as raising three of her own children. When DH is working I have to stay home and take care of the children. When he is off I have some time to go to the hospital and get everything we need to run the household. As I said before our NICU is closed to anyone under 18 which means that children are not allowed. I never said it was not my responsibility and it is about me as well. I couldn't go to the NICU for over a month because I was sick. When I was better I went. I need to take care of myself if I don't then it interferes with the care of the children. I know I am important to my children but I still don't like seeing my son hooked up to multiple machines with multiple tubes and wires. I don't like the fact that I can't hold him. I never said I wouldn't be there for Christian's surgery. We plan to be there. Not only that but Brennan may be having his trach placed this week. I can't be at the NICU or hospital 24/7. I don't have the resources for that ( we have only three people that can help we they can). Family can't be expected to take care of my step son 24/7 either. Some of you just don't seem to understand. I am only one person not three. Before judging me try to understand put yourself where I am. I lost a son. I almost lost the other two. I have one still in the hospital and have no idea when he will be home. My other son came home and has to go back. I am stressed out. I am tired. I am depressed. I am doing the best that I can. Don't judge or assume anything unless you have been there. Brennan is doing better he is methadone because they stopped his morphine, he is on ativan, and clonidine. he had a really good day today and when he is sleeping they get his oxygen down to 40 when he is awake it is 50-60. Christian is still doing well.
Big brother Justin 8/04Our little angel ^Alex Joseph^ 1.2 (11-4/11-5)Brennan Matthew 1.3Christian Jacob 2.4
Born 11/04/07http://www.myspace.com/346442072



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


jonib
Sun Mar-30-08 09:07 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 822 posts

#340170, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 17

"am stressed out. I am tired. I am depressed. I am doing the best that I can. Don't judge or assume anything unless you have been there."I have.
JonibAbby, Andy and Caroline turned 2 Nov. 20th!Rhett turns 10 12/15!no, I can't get the lily pie to work



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


3petes
Sun Mar-30-08 09:09 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 929 posts

#340171, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 17

Been there as well, and believe me it doesn't slow down just because they are home. It just gets harder. Not trying to scare you but it's all you at that point, no nurses or docs, or anything else. You need to get yourself together now. Get on the prozac and get to counseling.JamyeLove my GGG ~ 19 months old.....and counting Born on 08/07/06http://www.babysites.com/sites/3petes/



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


3petes
Sun Mar-30-08 09:24 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 929 posts

#340179, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 19

I just want to add, do you think that Brennan feels that he has anything to fight for? Maybe his attitude is like yours "why bother, it's too hard, no one understands me, I can't bare it." Please live up to your screen name.JamyeLove my GGG ~ 19 months old.....and counting Born on 08/07/06http://www.babysites.com/sites/3petes/



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


4kds4me
Mon Mar-31-08 11:20 AM
Member since Mar 29th 2007 368 posts

#340306, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 19

"Been there as well, and believe me it doesn't slow down just because they are home. It just gets harder. Not trying to scare you but it's all you at that point, no nurses or docs, or anything else."True. However, it is much easier to have everyone under one roof. I only needed to be in two places at once when my triplets were infants for a very short time and it was a relief to have everyone home, under ONE roof. Fiesty--I have no advice for you. I cannot even begin to put myself in your place with everything that is going on. My heart goes out to you and I pray that things start to turn toward the positive. I am sorry that some of the responses to this thread are on the negative side. I feel it is very unfair for people to judge unless they are experiencing YOUR family dynamics. Just do the best that you can do and take care of yourself!



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


lovemy5boys
Sun Mar-30-08 09:14 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 622 posts

#340175, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 17

I understand the stress, the depression, even the lack of support. I DO NOT understand how you can go even 1 day without seeing your baby. That poor baby is lonely and NEEDS his mother! It's hard, yes but you HAVE to find a way. It's YOUR job! I had 2 kids under 5 at home when I had my babies and I NEVER missed a day going. Most days I went twice. Once late at night while my big boys were sleeping. Most NICUs are open 24/7. Sorry, I couldn't keep quiet about that any longer
proud mom to DS 6DS 3BBB 9/29/06www.juststopandthink.com



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


MMM26
Sun Mar-30-08 10:02 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 976 posts

#340183, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 17

I dont know if you have posted this before, but where is your Boyfriend's son's mother??????? Why is she not taking care of her son? Where is the rest of her family? Why are you left to take care of your boyfriend's child which causes you to neglect YOUR children? I just dont get it. Why is your boyfriend's son (I know you call him your step son, but he's not, so I am just saying it like it really is, and I am not trying to be insensitive to the whole step child issues as I have a stepson also who I have helped care for since he was 3 years old and he is now 10.5 years old) your primary responsibily? Put him in daycare or in Headstart. I am sure he would qualify for a head start type program or some type of pre-k program that is free or low costing. And you know what make your boyfriend do it, its his son and his responsibility. He needs to step up to the plate here and take care of his kid. You are not the built in babysitter for him.
www.rehkoptriplets.blogspot.comBBG born @30w1d



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


feistylioness78
Sun Mar-30-08 10:43 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 400 posts

#340187, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 23

The mother is not in the picture because she walked out on him before he was two like she did with her daughter from a prior marriage. DH has full physical and legal. So her family is not in the picture nor is mine. So, the only ones around is DH's mother and sister and I have a friend her but she is often busy. I am trying to get him into some kind of program. Daycare is too expensive. Grandma was helping out a lot until I came into the picture and then he became my responsibility (why I don't know, it stills upsets me at times). Sometimes the family forgets that we have two other boys that need out attention and that they need to step in once in awhile which they will do sometimes. That is why it is hard because I am a SAHM and I knew DH had a child from someone else but I did not know that most of it will fall onto me. Some of you are also forgetting that time spent at the hospital also takes away from time spent with Christian and his needs. I know it won't be east when Brennan comes home but that will be at least several more months due to his medical needs and it can be even longer. I am trying to get myself back to myself so that I can do more. But one person can only do so much. I am not making excuses it all fact. Give me some credit I am trying.
Big brother Justin 8/04Our little angel ^Alex Joseph^ 1.2 (11-4/11-5)Brennan Matthew 1.3Christian Jacob 2.4Born 11/04/07http://www.myspace.com/346442072



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


NCtripmom
Sun Mar-30-08 11:08 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 412 posts

#340189, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 25

Didn't some moms of a local group reach out to you? I'm sure some of them would be more than willing to help you so you can go see your son.There is absolutely no excuse for not seeing your sick child in the hospital. Your boyfriend needs to step up to the plate too. He had no issue getting you pg, he needs to be there to take care of his kids too - all of his kids. Your boyfriend's son w/ this other woman is not your responsibility. Those two boys that you gave birth to are your responsibility.



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


feistylioness78
Sun Mar-30-08 11:40 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 400 posts

#340199, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 27

yes, a couple of them offered help. But DH would have to agree to it as well and I didn't get a chance to take them up on their offer. Plus that would leave Justin in the care of strangers. He would need to get to know them first. I was going on a regular basis except the days DH worked with Christian and then after Christian came home then I got a cough I couldn't get rid of and I was banned. And then Christian was banned too. Just so you all know it has only been a couple of days since I saw Brennan last. He was drugged up and paralyzed. He has been weaned off some of his drugs so he may be awake when I go. We were both there for his surgery. As far as my step son DH and his family do feel that he is my responsibility. Where as sometimes I feel that he is not. All I want is for my sons to be healthy and to be home with us. I don't know how things will work out when Christian is back in. I definately hope that both of their surgeries are not scheduled this week. With my luck it will be the same time and the same day. But the hospital said they would try to schedule it around Christian. His needs to be done soon. Brennan's can probably wait a couple more days.
Big brother Justin 8/04Our little angel ^Alex Joseph^ 1.2 (11-4/11-5)Brennan Matthew 1.3Christian Jacob 2.4Born 11/04/07http://www.myspace.com/346442072



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


NCtripmom
Sun Mar-30-08 11:43 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 412 posts

#340205, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 29

Nothing but more excuses.



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


MMM26
Sun Mar-30-08 11:54 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 976 posts

#340212, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 29

>As far as my step son DH and his family do feel that>he is my responsibility. Where as sometimes I feel that he is>not.This angers me. You are not his mother and your SO and his family need to stop treating you like this. Maybe I am just too outspoken and bitchy to my DH at times, but this would have never been tolerated with my stepson. Yes I did care for my stepson and still do, but on my terms. Its not assumed that I am going to care for him, DH asks me if I willing if he is unable. My stepson is my DH's responsibilty, I step in to help when needed, but I make DH be responsible for his son too. I know its hard with your SO working and it does seem logical for you to babysit since you are at home, BUT you do have other responsibilities and its seems like they are not willing to budge. IMO find preschool/headstart/mothers day out programs, advise your SO of the new rules and boundries about his SON and your responsibilies or move on with your children and stop being treated this way by him and his famliy. I think your SO and his family need to be remined that YOUR children need to be your main priority right now.
www.rehkoptriplets.blogspot.comBBG born @30w1d



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


k3triplets
Mon Mar-31-08 12:18 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 279 posts

#340218, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 29

dh does not have to agree to it. not at this point. this is ridiculous. say, "so and so is watching ds from 10-3 today. she lives ___ and I'm dropping him off. if you don't like it, you can figure something else out b/c i WANT to go see my babies." call those women. say, "sorry i didn't take you up on your offer. i'm in over my head and would like to see if the offer still stands. i can't possibly repay you except to say thank you." they will understand. if they don't, send them to this board.
Susannegbg @ 31.65/2006



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


Mama2five
Mon Mar-31-08 07:47 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 244 posts

#340240, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 29

Just so you all know it has only>been a couple of days since I saw Brennan last. He was drugged>up and paralyzed. He has been weaned off some of his drugs so>he may be awake when I goOMFG. Are you serious? This makes me sick. All the more reason to be with him. I would tell your hubby to F-off, your preemie in the NICU NEEDS you. Your boyfriends son takes a distant 3rd at this point. IMO.
ChristaMommy to Reagan (4) and Ethan (3)AND GGB tripletsAddison Elizabeth (5lbs 5oz), Delaney Rose (5lbs 2oz), andJoel Christopher (5lbs 1oz)born 1/23/08 @ 36.0 weekswww.TheTripletsP.com *triplet relatedwww.TheMommyTalk.blogspot.com *not triple



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


feistylioness78
Mon Mar-31-08 08:17 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 400 posts

#340251, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 39

If I found someone to watch one child, who is going to watch the baby? I can't take him he isn't allowed to go in and I definantely wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him in the care of someone I don't know and I don't have respite yet. Its not as easy as some of you make it sound. That is why I can only go in on the days DH is off.
Big brother Justin 8/04Our little angel ^Alex Joseph^ 1.2 (11-4/11-5)Brennan Matthew 1.3Christian Jacob 2.4Born 11/04/07http://www.myspace.com/346442072



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


chrissy92972
Mon Mar-31-08 08:34 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 1312 posts

#340255, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 40

Does he work 24 hours a day? Why can't you go in when he is home from work, he can watch HIS son and your baby at home. My God this isn't rocket science. I have basically stayed out of this, but my triplets are 5 1/2 and my son 9. He was 4 when they were born and I still managed to see the triplets every single day of their NICU stay and so did my husband, while he still worked every single day. We took shifts in going and lost alot of sleep, and felt guilty for not being their 24/7, but we still managed to be there. And my 4 year could not visit either.Also my NICU was an hour away each direction plus a long walk in to park and scrub.You may think that the nurses understand and they may be nice to you to your face, but I have heard them talk and I know how nurses feel about families who do not visit, who do not call, and who do not act appropriately. Trust me I have overheard conversations that 5 1/2 years later I still remember plus I am on a NICU commitee now and have heard it all.You will be lucky in the long run if CPS is not called.Chrissy



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


feistylioness78
Mon Mar-31-08 03:00 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 400 posts

#340386, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 41

I call everyday when I don't go and as I said before the NICU is aware of everything. We are still waiting for the services to kick in.
Big brother Justin 8/04Our little angel ^Alex Joseph^ 1.2 (11-4/11-5)Brennan Matthew 1.3Christian Jacob 2.4Born 11/04/07http://www.myspace.com/346442072



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


Tasha
Mon Mar-31-08 03:24 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 1620 posts

#340393, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 51

I know you feel calling is enough. But I am willing to bet while the nurses may seem nice about they don't feel it is enough. Have you ever read your sons chart? They chart everything about the parents as well as the babies in those. I NEVER missed a day. Even after my son was home and not allowed back in the NICU. I had nobody able to come watch him either. So Dh went to work and I was stuck at home until he got home. Then DH took his turn at the hospital because HE wouldn't miss a day, then he came home and stayed with our son and I went for several hours. It was hard on me. Meant missing sleep. Meant missing feedings. But as you said you can only do what you can do. That THAT is what I did. I would move heaven and earth to see my babies. Back to the charts I would read the charts daily. After my son was home the day nurses started noting in my daughters' charts that I wasn't there during the day. They KNEW WHY. But it didn't matter. It was still in their charts. Mom not coming to visit during the day. Those nurses keep note of EVERYTHING. So your patterns, your habits, everything are noted. You may give excuses but they know excuses from true reasons. They have seen it all. And if we are being extremely honest here. If I was a nurse and a mother didn't come for a month because of a lingering cough. I would be contacting CPS. There are masks, gowns, soap, and you don't have to have physical contact. If you weren't running a high fever I find it hard to believe you were banned from the hospital. I know to many people, myself included, that were in the NICU ill. I have pictures of myself masked because I was sick. I cried like a baby because I thought I wouldn't be able to see my babies but the nurse just said, "oh honey, you can mask and wash good like normal". I am not going to sit here and tell you that you need to find a stranger to sit with your baby. I know that would be hard. But his father does not work 24/7. And that NICU does not close for the night. You don't want to do because as you have said the past, 'you don't like hospitals' and 'it is to much for you' to see your son on the vent. Well your son doesn't like hospitals and I bet he hates that damn vent. And it won't be any easier to see him with the trach. You better find the strength. Get your butt over there before you loose your children. You have heard many times we have had fakers on this board. And even women who really have triplets that make up stories about their situation for attention. There is a big part of me that hopes you are one of these For the sake of your children. I hate to think there is a mother out there ignoring her child in the NICU and thinking a phone call daily is truly enough.
TashaJulia, Megan and Alex 7/00Abby 12/02



Printer-friendly copy Edit Reply Reply with quote Top


NCtripmom
Mon Mar-31-08 08:40 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 412 posts

#340258, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 40

Seriously, I'm tired of seeing you come up with excuse after excuse.Aren't there programs in CA? W/ all of his issues doesn't he qualify for some sort of nursing care?No one is saying it is easy. No part of being a parent is easy. But you are putting this kid that isn't even yours and some dude you've been dating for 5 minutes over the needs of this innocent baby that is lying in a hospital essentially alone. Yes there are nurses there but they aren't mom. You need to pull your head out of your @$$ and go bond with your son.



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


NCtripmom
Mon Mar-31-08 08:41 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 412 posts

#340259, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 40Mon Mar-31-08 08:44 AM by NCtripmom

double post



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


gkm15099
Sun Mar-30-08 11:37 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 842 posts

#340198, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 17

Hey, Just wanted to throw this out there. I don't know the setup of your NICU, but at ours there was a kid friendly waiting room outside of the NICU with a TV and tons of toys. Lots of parents with other kids would bring their kids and leave them in there with another adult or Volunteer provided by the hospital. The rocker ladies would come out and sit with the older kids while mom and dad went and visited with their child. You should definately get with the social worker about your needs. There are programs to help. They can get you rides to the hospital, money for babysitters, etc. You just need to let them know what you are up against. Also, have you asked about the 18 and over policy? Expections were made for my girls to come back to the hospital with me when I had two at home and one in the hospital. They would not allow older siblings, but one of the set was fine. Just trying to give you some ideas to help balance out the care.
Kimberly,Mom to Isabelle, Alyssa, and Makennawww.guinnfamilyhome.com



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


feistylioness78
Sun Mar-30-08 11:48 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 400 posts

#340208, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 28

The policy is due to a measels issue in our area and for that reason only. They tried to get Christian in when Brennan had his surgery but they wouldn't even allow that. Our NICU is not kid friendly. When Justin was allowed in they helped out but there is no where for him to be when we go there. They just have a couple of chairs outside of the NICU. Our Children's hospital is but I am not sure about where Christian will be. That hospital was shut down to everyone but parents only until rsv is over. Its hard to take Justin to things like appointments because he gets bored and then acts up. That is one of the reasons why I don't take the boys out unless DH is with me. Justin just refuses to listen to me.
Big brother Justin 8/04Our little angel ^Alex Joseph^ 1.2 (11-4/11-5)Brennan Matthew 1.3Christian Jacob 2.4Born 11/04/07http://www.myspace.com/346442072



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


3petes
Sun Mar-30-08 09:01 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 929 posts

#340168, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 14

I, too, try hard to ignore your posts, but in the interest OF YOUR CHILDREN, I cannot. I'm going to tell you that no excuse will ever be good enough not to be with your children during their time of need. You are missing out on being their mother, and you are turning into your mother.
It is obvious by your previous posts that you did not like how your mother treated you, and basically ignored your needs for her own, so now you bring
kids into this world and do the same thing? Did they ask to be here? THEY ARE HELPLESS RIGHT NOW and without you they have nothing and no one looking in on their best interests.PLEASE GET YOUR ASS TO THE HOSPITAL. Like I said, no excuse is good enough not to be there. Mental, physical, transportation, NOTHING!Jamye



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


franjipani
Sun Mar-30-08 11:44 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 1746 posts

#340206, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 14Mon Mar-31-08 12:09 AM by franjipani

nicu IS stressful on parents, no two ways about it.while the boys are at different hospitals, spend half your time at one hospital and half your time at the other. your step son must have had carers before you came into the picture, and they must be called upon now. your children are in hospital and it is unreasonable for anyone to ask you to neglect your own children in order to care for your dh's child. how often is your dh visiting???as a mum whose children were also born at 26 weeks, i understand it is painful to see your child covered in tubes, tape and in an isolette, but this is what mothering is about - being unselfish. swallowing your own tears because your presence has the power to hasten healing in your child and soothes him. because although it hurts to be with him, it hurts more to be without him, and he is so very alone, fragile, and lonely.i am not overlooking the fact that time you are at the nicu is time away from christian. but your brennan needs you. tag team. dh gets home from work, you head off to the hospital. take along a favourite book, read it aloud, it will soothe you and the sound of your voice will soothe him.in regards to your dh not agreeing to FREE BABYSITTING for justin, since you are the one who is in charge - if you are comfortable with it, make the arrangements.tessmummy to 6yr old ds & the triumverate born 2004



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


feistylioness78
Sun Mar-30-08 11:51 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 400 posts

#340211, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 31

Thats a good idea. One of the reasons I am not too concerned about not going everyday is because he has three very excellent primary day nurses that work well with us and that know Brennan. Just because I am not there it does not mean that I don't love my son.
Big brother Justin 8/04Our little angel ^Alex Joseph^ 1.2 (11-4/11-5)Brennan Matthew 1.3Christian Jacob 2.4Born 11/04/07http://www.myspace.com/346442072



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


azwallace
Sun Mar-30-08 11:57 PM
Member since May 22nd 2007 959 posts

#340213, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 33

One of the things that my primary nurses talked about is that with HOM or in your case, special needs babies, it is important for them to see you everyday because you need to show a commitment to their care. If you aren't showing commitment now, they are concerned that you will NOT be able to handle them when they go home. You will not have a nurse with each child the rest of their lives so the staff will want to see that you are in for the long haul, long days, extra stress, lots of attention and love. I would be surprised if they would be comfortable sending home special needs babies to someone who is not around much. I am not saying they would keep them because they can't, but I don't think they would be comfortable with that.
StephanieMama to Beautiful Quads30 weeks, 5 daysand ^Angel Baby^ 1/05



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


feistylioness78
Mon Mar-31-08 12:00 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 400 posts

#340214, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 35

The NICU is aware of our situation and the know that we are committed.
Big brother Justin 8/04Our little angel ^Alex Joseph^ 1.2 (11-4/11-5)Brennan Matthew 1.3Christian Jacob 2.4Born 11/04/07http://www.myspace.com/346442072



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


kylamel
Mon Mar-31-08 03:42 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 1830 posts

#340398, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 36


As soon as your significant other or DH or whoever he is comes home you should get to the hospital. You are his mother, they cannot deny you access to your little boy no matter what time it is. No excuses - there are none for not spending as much time as you can with your little boy who is ALL ALONE in the hospital. 3 good nurses are nothing compared to mommy!!!I'm starting to agree with some - you seem to have an excuse for everything. If people are offering you some support or help take them up on it.
MelanieBGB born at 32 weeks in 2005



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


ourtriplets06
Sun Mar-30-08 09:14 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 218 posts

#340173, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

How many hours a day does your boyfriend work? Is your stepson ill and in need of your constant attention? I obviously second the PPs regarding your need to be with your children and to be their mother. I don't care what is going on in your life...your children are helpless and need you. You are making excuses. You always do. I am so over hearing about how sick and helpless your babies are and then in the next breath you say how you havent been to the NICU for days or even weeks. Its stupid!!!When you can relate to the real mothers on here and become one yourself then I will read your posts and care how you feel. Until then, I will continue to pray that your children are healthy, happy and fine although alone b/c you have every excuse in the book not to be with them. Momma C to 15 mo old BGB trips! DOB 12*15*064 pound 34.5 weekers



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


akcmachine
Sun Mar-30-08 10:19 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 609 posts

#340184, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 20

I guess the big question I have is...where is the bilogical mother and biological family of your boyfriend's child? Clearly your plate is full and I am curious why a "step-child" is 100% your responsibility given the current situation. I am not getting why you are a caretaker to your boyfriend's child from a prior relationship at the expense of your own children?Perhaps you can clear that up so that those of us who would like to offer support, sympathy and prayers would understand why your posts make us hesitant to do so....I say hesitant because I feel that sometimes you just suck it up and do what has to be done as a parent yet your by your own admission there is always a reason why you can't seem to step up to the plate for your babies. Help me understand and I would be happy to do what I can to assist you and your family.Helene, mom of Amanda, Mitchell, our trio: Eli, Natalie, and CJ the 28 weekers and Baby Charlotte



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


Tasha
Sun Mar-30-08 10:58 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 1620 posts

#340188, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

C.
TashaJulia, Megan and Alex 7/00Abby 12/02



Printer-friendly copy Edit Reply Reply with quote Top


anxiousabuela
Mon Mar-31-08 07:08 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 522 posts

#340225, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

Try calling your local high school. Sometimes students who are studying early childhood education or daycare offer a free childcare program. If so, you could have your boyfriend take his son there several hours a day so you could spend time with your son. I realze you would still have one little boy you need care for, but others have offered sugggestions for him.



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


CindyB
Mon Mar-31-08 08:41 AM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 407 posts

#340260, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

If you are being honest, then your posts scare the crap out of me.One of my twin sons had to have surgery at 2 months old after spending 4 weeks in the NICU. It wasn't the same surgery as you are talking about, but he was in the hospital for 6 nights. Assuming my experience is the same as with most hospitals, someone will need to be with him the entire time he is at the hospital. It will be nothing like when he was in the NICU. You will have to be there to feed him. A nurse will not be in his room at all times, so he will need a caregiver there to be with him. There will be no time for the house to seem so empty without him as you will need to be with him the whole time.
CindyPaul and Andrew Kristen, Rachel and Michael



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


Tarahp
Mon Mar-31-08 10:37 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 263 posts

#340292, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

I haven't replied to these posts before because I don't really know what to say. I think the others have covered everything I feel regarding your sons. I can't help but think there is something missing in this story though. Is your DH supportive? Is he over-controlling or abusive? If you need help regarding some aspect of your relationship with your DH, please speak up. Take care of those issues (if they exist) so you can be a better mom to your sons.
TaraBorn 7/18/07 at 35w5dGirl A - 4 lb 10 oz (No NICU)Boy B - 5 lb 12 oz (6 days)Girl C - 5 lb 12 oz (11 days)



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


DebM
Mon Mar-31-08 10:57 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 789 posts

#340299, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

I remember the NICU days. I didn't deal with nearly the heartache a lot of ladies on here did, but it was still a difficult time. I had two at home and one still in the hospital. It was hard dividing the time but we did it.Please take some of the advice given to you. A lot of it is excellent advice:1) When your boyfriend gets home from work, head out to the hospital. He can take care of his son. Don't ask, just tell him you are going, end of story. 2) contacting local schools - great suggestion! get a teenager to come in and sit with your stepson. He is old enough to do ok with a sitter he doesn't know that well. He will be just fine.If that doesn't work, contact some of your local churches or outreach ministries. 3)When both babies are in the hospital, tell your boyfriend you are going to be there and he needs to take care of his son. If he has to work, then it is his responsibility to find someone to care for him.Get tough! Don't be a victim of all these circumstances. Best of luck to you and I hope everything works out for you.Luke- 4lb,12ozWade - 3lb,4ozZoe - 5lb,2oz Born at 34 weekshttp://3giggles.blogspot.com



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


carrieroberts
Mon Mar-31-08 11:24 AM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 294 posts

#340309, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

Aren't your kids getting Early Intervention Services from the San Diego Regional Center? Have you talked to them, they offer respite services so you can go to the hospital and someone will look after the other kids. Have you talked to the social worker at the hospital, they can connect you to lots of resources....San Diego is filled with nonprofits, religious organizations, etc. that will help. It sounds like you really need help, go find it....because it won't appear otherwise.I've been there with two babies at home and one in the NICU. I know what it is like to have to be on Prozac to function. All the moms on this website know what it is like to be in your shoes. None of us have had it particularly easy. My husband was away in the Navy and I was home alone with my babies. Easter Seals here in Ventura was a life saver for me.YOU have to get help. Somehow, for the safety and well being of your kids. We aren't judging you, but for me personally I am worried about the welfare of your kids.CarrieEmma 1.2 lbs.Spencer 3.3 lbs.Jackson 3.4 lbs.11/9/05Check out our blog at http://robertstriplets.blogspot.com



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


feistylioness78
Mon Mar-31-08 02:57 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 400 posts

#340384, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 48

They are signed up for EI but haven't gotten any services yet. I am waiting to hear back from the baby teacher.
Big brother Justin 8/04Our little angel ^Alex Joseph^ 1.2 (11-4/11-5)Brennan Matthew 1.3Christian Jacob 2.4Born 11/04/07http://www.myspace.com/346442072



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


HOWMANY
Mon Mar-31-08 12:09 PM
Member since Jul 18th 2005 1195 posts

#340327, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

Valerie,Please don't shut down and feel that we are against you. I have gone back and forth rather to stay away from this post now or not. I know you reached out to me and please do so again.I had one DD at home and two still in the NICU. I went every night when DH got home from work to see the other two. I also had two kids home while my son was in the hospital for another 10 months and I worked full time. Had to go back to work shortly after my second DD came home from the hospital.There were days that I just was drained and didn't want to go. My DS was being sedated with meds and paralized as well to help his lungs and little body get better. I couldn't stand when they were paralizing him. But I went. There were days that I or DH did not go for one reason or another. But one of us was there more often then not. When I was sick I did stay home the first day or two, but I made sure the DH was at the hospital. Then I went in and wore masks and washed so much my hands were red and raw.Not sure what is going on with SO, but it sounds like he is not stepping up. Please lean on your support group and the squeaky wheel is what is going to get things going the RC. Call them everyday to get that respite going. You have to stay on top of them or you will fall through the cracks.If your son is going to get a trach they will not let him come home until two caregivers, you being one of them are fully trained on trach care. If you don't they will transport him to a non hospital facilty to live and not discharge him home to you. And if he comes home on a vent as my DS did you will need to have nursing care as well for him. Which medical will pay for. The boys I assume already have medical??The spirit that you are coming at here on this board, please take it and direct at your babies. AmyWife to Jason(pixelpusher)Mom to Gwynne, Connor, Chloe 11/03/03 25wks 1daywww.caringbridge.org/visit/connorferrishttp://lilypie.com>



Printer-friendly copy Reply Reply with quote Top


kittyln
Mon Mar-31-08 03:43 PM
Member since Nov 05th 2007 31 posts

#340399, "RE: It never ends"In response to Reply # 0

You have to do what ever you can to be with those babies NOW! I agree with all the pp that said you need to get tough with you boyfriend and tell him, not ask him, that you are going to be with your babies and he needs to find a caregiver for his son. I have been in your position with being in two different hospitals. My son was transferred to a different hospital when he was 17 days old to have a resavoir placed. Thankfully he never had to get the shunt and he is doing amazing now. But the girls weren't transferred for 2 weeks and it was very hard dividing my time, but I just went back and forth from hospital to hospital. I always felt guilty about being at one hospital too long so I would make serval trips in one day. I couldn't imagine not being at either hospitals.After my one of my dds and my ds came home my son got pyloric stenosis and had to go back into the hospital for surgery so I had 1 at home, 1 in the PICU, and 1 in the NICU. I stayed at the hospital the entire time, except I came home to take a shower. My DH, my sister, my in laws all took care of my dd that was at home becuase the babies in the hospital needed me the most. It can be done! Positive thinking is the 1st step to making it happen. Brain storm with you boyfriend and instead of "we can't make that work" try "there is a way to make this work we just need to figure out what that is". You and your family are in my prayers.
MicheleGGB 26wks 6days